Fitting In (Is Hard to Do) Semester 1

AMBER READ OR SAW a movie somewhere that men love to rescue damsels in distress. She had made plans on becoming that distressed damsel that Roman rescued tonight. She had it all planned out. Well, not really. She was going to ad-lib. Tonight, here at this skating rink, she was an actress, and was about to play the heck out of this part. The only thing that’s messing her up right now, she needed make-up. She hadn’t been able to get her hands on any as of yet, and she wasn’t about to make that same mistake of using her mom’s again. If she was lucky and played her cards right, maybe… just maybe Symphony will make her over like she did before at school. All she had to do was wash it off before her mom comes back to pick them up.

  It took everything in her power to beg her mother to let her go skating, tonight. Amber’s mother only agreed if she took Cam’Ron with her. But the truth of the matter was, Cam was still on punishment so it was even harder to get her mother to let them go. What was even harder than that, after she convinced her mom, was that Cam didn’t want to go. Amber begged, coaxed, and made all types of deals with Cam, just for him to go.

  “I can’t believe we are finally here.” Amber says to Willow.

  Willow gives Amber the stank face and replies, “You act like we don’t never come here.” Willow gives the white guy working the counter her and Amber’s shoe size.

  “Yeah, but that’s different. That’s always with the youth group and our moms’ as chaperones. How fun is that?” Amber looks around to see if see anybody from school. She sees the twins coming in the door and hurries to turn around so they couldn’t see her.

  “Best friend here.” Willow hands Amber her skates and they sit down to put them on. “You keep staring around like Ms. Joi is going to come up in here and ruin your parade.” They both laugh but that’s only half true. Amber was looking for Roman and hoping her mom doesn’t run up in there and confess she can’t live without her, so she’ll just sit and watch. Another reason was that she was trying to keep an eye on the twins before one of them sneak up on her with another right hook.

  Cam’Ron comes and sits with Amber and Willow. “So what’s up, Willow? When me and you goin’ hook up?” Cam tries to place his arm around Willow’s shoulder but she smacks it back as if they were playing tennis and it was her turn to serve.

  “Boy please!”

  “Oh, it’s like that now?”

  “It’s been like that, Cam. Besides, you are too young.”

  Cam scoots a few inches away from Willow. “Ew, too young for what? I thought you was one of those nice girls. But I see the real Willow now… you one of those gutter girls!” Cam’Ron playfully pushes Willow away.

  “Where are your skates?” Willow asks as she laces hers.

  “Man, what I look like skatin’ that’s for fruity niggas… even the word sounds fruity.”

  The three of them laugh and Amber busts her brother out. “He’s just mad because he can’t skate.” Amber looks down at Cam’Ron’s feet. “Where you get those shoes from?”

  “Damn, Amber… why you all up in mine?” Cam’Ron gets defensive and walks away.

  It has been at least an hour and Amber has given up looking for Roman to come about 45 minutes ago. She lets loose and Willow and she were having fun acting like little kids, dancing and skating to the beat. Seeing that the twins seemed to have been preoccupied bullying someone else at the moment, Amber let loose and was jamming. “Ut oh! Watch out Willow! I’m ‘bout to do it backwards!” Amber slides her foot, switches her body, and starts dancing and skating backwards.

  WHAM! She slams right into someone and their skates are entangled. Amber just knows she’s about to head face forward onto the ground. Hands grab around her waist and pull her in closer to their body. She feels whoever has grabbed her has kept her safe from a disaster. “It’s all good. I got you, baby.” She knew that smell. That touch. That feeling. Amber looks up and straight into Roman’s face. She gets lost in his eyes and never want to look away. That is until she remembers that, she’s not an actress nor is she one of those beautiful people. But her worse feeling is, she’s not wearing any make-up. Amber felt sweat drip from her armpits. Her legs wobbled. Those darn skates weren’t helping much either. His touch and her touching him, sent Amber’s insides into a quivering frenzy. It was that awkward moment when you weren’t sure when or if you should break away from the touch or not. She wanted to hold onto Roman forever and she felt like she did until she feels him loosening his grip so she does too.

  “I see you were out there doing your thang!” Amber could tell he was smiling but she didn’t dare look up at him. His comment made her wonder how long had he been here? Did he see Willow and her acting a fool? How was she to play the damsel in distress now when she doesn’t know how much of her skating and dancing he saw?

  “Why you here?” Symphony says to Amber as she skates to Roman and wraps her arms around his waist. It was as if Symphony had grabbed Amber’s heart the same way and crushed it until it disintegrated into nothing but ashes. Amber gets it now. Roman is the fire hydrant and Symphony is the bitch that comes and pisses on him to mark her territory.

  “I’m here with my friend Willow and my brother, Cam.” Amber musters up enough courage to say as she points to Willow leaving the rink heading towards the bathroom.

  “Whatever.” Symphony grabs Roman’s face and kisses him on the lips. She turns towards Amber and says, “Problem?”

  Amber jolts back into reality because she had no idea she was standing there in the middle of the rink staring at the two of them kissing. Symphony shoves Amber a bit and tells her to go skate. “Isn’t that what you came here for?”

  Amber rolls toward the flowing crowd almost tripping, but before she can gather her balance, the twins’ wiz past and elbows her. “Dang! Move out the way, you seen the professionals coming through.” The wheels on Amber’s skates entangle each other, and she falls face first.

  “My dang finger is killing me! I can't believe that “B” did that. That just shows me how threatening she thinks I am. I'm glad Roman was there to rescue me from my first fall.” Amber says to Willow who was in the bathroom mirror fiddling with her hair.

  Amber thinks as she waits for a response from Willow. I may have to rethink my strategy. I could tell he doesn't like the dummy shy role. He must like smart girls or something. I can do smart.

  “Amber, you’re tripping.” Willow finally says.

  “But I can't stand the thought of letting Symphony and them twins get the best of me like that! They need to get some payback for that mess.”

  “You need to just turn the other cheek and be the bigger person. You know that.”

  “Hmmm... The way I see it, I'm a giant right now with no cheeks! I've been letting people take advantage of me, use me, and make fun of me. Hmm, I think it's time for Amber Styles to fight back!”

  “I see now the real reason you were dying to come tonight.” Willow washes her hands in the sink. “No wonder you couldn’t wait until Youth Sunday.”

  I swear to God this chick be acting like me and her go together. “So what if that’s my real reason for wanting to come. You need to lighten up Willow, fo-real.”

  “And you need to smarten up Amber.” Amber’s facial expression asked Willow what the heck she meant by that and she continues. “You had me thinking Roman wants you. He don’t care nothing about you!”

  Ouch! Amber’s best friend was slicing through her skin with a butcher knife and pouring sea salt into the wounds.

  Willow thinks she knows everything! She even thinks she’s smarter than me when it comes to the Bible because she be getting all the questions right in Bible study. Shoot she should! Her mama's the Bible study teacher! She probably knows all the questions and the answers before we even start. Amber thinks as she ignores Willow’s attempt at wisdom and felt she was more experienced because Willow hasn’t even kissed a boy like she has. Well, it was just Ryder. And it was just a peck. It still counts though. Ryder asked Willow first, but she turned him down saying it was a
sin if you didn’t really love the person enough to marry them.

  Amber tells Willow, "Help me come up with a plan?"

  She says, "Unh unh... I don't want no parts of this mess."

  "What kind of friend are you that can't even have my back?"

  "I am your friend! That's why I'm trying to steer you into the right direction. I got yo back."

  "Yeah... Way back!"

  “Come on.”

  “Where?”

  “I want you to introduce me to your knew found friends and then maybe you will see that I know what I’m talking about.”

  Amber didn’t have a problem with proving her wrong, she was looking forward to it. They both reached the table where Roman, Symphony, Quincy, and Spirit were all sitting at eating snacks.

  “Hey.” Amber says to no one in particular. “This is my friend, Willow.”

  “Hello, Amber’s friend, Willow.” Roman shakes Willow’s hand and Amber felt that Willow got a little happy from touching her man’s hand.

  “Sup.” Quincy said more engrossed inside of his bag of chips than looking up at who he was greeting.

  “Yeah, I already know her. We go to the same church.” Spirit waved at Willow.

  “Since when you go to church?” Quincy said as he emptied the last bit of chips into his mouth.

  “Shut up Q!” Spirit shot back as she was untying her laces so she could give her feet a rest from the smelly skates.

  It had got quiet after that and started to get awkward so Amber said, “Where’s Hunter at?”

  “She’s where she’s at, nosey-”

  “Symphony please… dang!” Roman interrupted her.

  “She couldn’t make it.” Quincy spoke without looking at Amber.

  “Thank you Quincy. I appreciate the answer.” Amber looks at the clock on the wall and grabs Willow by the arm to make it seem like she really wanted to get some skating in before it was time for them to go. Amber knew by the limited responses it was her que to exit stage left before someone makes a bigger butt out of her in front of Willow.

  ♥♥♥

  Roman uses a urinal next to Cam’Ron and looks over at him. “What? Are you gay?” Cam zips up and washes his hands.

  “I’m just wondering when you were going to finish?” Roman washes his hands too and wait for Cam’Ron to respond.

  “Finish what?”

  “Pulling your pants up. You know all that saggin’ stuff started in prison, right? It was to let other men know they were “available” or looking for a “boyfriend.” Cam’Ron turns his back to Roman ignoring him but Roman grabs his arm and turns him back around. “I’m trying to teach you something.”

  Cam’Ron looks Roman up and down and distorts his face. “Yeah, just like I thought… gay! Anybody that thinks about saggin’ like that is gay. Yea, I’ll give you that… Saggin’ did actually originate in the prison system but not for the reasons you say. In most jails, you ain’t allowed to have no belts because corny niggas be committing suicide and ish and them niggas don’t give a damn if your stuff fits you correctly or not. Ergo, saggin’ was born. So you ain’t trying to teach me shit!”

  “What’s your problem, huh?” Roman was literally confused on why Cam’Ron was hating him when he’s barely had a conversation with him.

  “You my problem! I don’t even see why my sister be crushin’ on you. You’s a soft ass nigga. You ain’t even old enough to teach me nothing… I got a daddy… where’s yours? Matt-o-fact… where yo mama, nigga?”

  Roman laughs a little, bites his lip, and sticks his fingertips into his jean pockets, deciding to ignore every comment Cam’Ron just made except the part about him being soft. “How you figure that?”

  “I saw you running the other day from Patrón and Remy.”

  “Is that right? Because I can’t recall running from anybody or anything.”

  “Oh, that’s right… I guess the word you would prefer to use is, “avoiding.” Roman waved Cam’Ron off because he felt he was fighting a losing battle. Why should he care if this little dude sags or not? He wasn’t his brother or even in his squad, so later for him. Roman leaves Cam’Ron in the bathroom bent down tying his shoes.

  “Them some hot ass sneakers.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Cam answers without looking up as he wipes a smudge off his shoes. He stares down at the two pair of shoes as another pair of smaller ones joins them. Cam’Ron hears a lighter flick and within minutes he could smell marijuana filling the air. He looks up into Remy’s face. Then at Patrón. And then Christian who was their younger brother.

  “So where you get them sneakers from, Homie?” Remy speaks as he’s holding in the smoke at the same time.

  “I-I bought these.” Cam’Ron stutters. Somehow when he was walking past their apartment and saw the package with the Finishline label, he really didn’t think anyone would miss the shoes that were inside the box. He thought maybe they’d just order another pair or whatever. Cam’Ron never thought they would figure out it was him.

  “Is that right? What kind of job you got at 13? You slangin’?” Patrón steps closer to Cam’Ron… a little too close for comfort, Cam’Ron felt.

  “M-my momma bought these for me.”

  “Really?” Patrón turns to Remy and says, “Bruh… we got the wrong person. I think we need to be talkin’ to his moms right about now. What you think?”

  “D-don’t d-do that!” Cam’Ron had heard stories about Remy and Patrón not caring who or how they confront anyone. Not even someone’s parents.

  “Hmm… it’s mighty funny how we just ordered Lil Man here those same exact sneakers. For some reason, we never got the order, although the tracking says we did!”

  Cam’Ron was shaking, if he hadn’t already relieved himself he might have peed his pants right now. Patrón and Remy both grabbed each one of his arms so that Cam’Ron’s midsection was exposed.

  “You know them my Jordans!” Christian jabs Cam’Ron in his stomach as hard and as many times as his medium sized fist could handle.

  “It’s a few things we don’t like.” Remy butts out his blunt. “A thief and a liar.” Remy and Patrón released Cam’Ron. Remy lifted and distorted his voice up a few octaves to sound like a white man. “And you sir, are both!” Remy kept his eyes on Cam’Ron but spoke to his younger brother at the same time. “Lil’ Man?”

  “Wassup?”

  “This nigga here, stole your Jordans and lied to you in your face.”

  “True.”

  “What you want to do? You want them shoes back?”

  “Hell naw… they used now.”

  “I know that’s right!” Patrón chimed in. “So you just goin’ let him have them?”

  “Is Jordan’s water? Cause ain’t nothing free. You take from a Walker, you goin’ have to pay!”

  Remy and Patrón stood watching as Christian beat the crap out of Cam’Ron’s face as if it were a punching bag. Cam’Ron balls his fist with the intentions of fighting back until Patrón steps in and says, “What you plan on doing with those? You even think about touching my brother and it’s goin’ be me and you! And don’t think we forgot about you putting your hands on my lil sis.” Cam’Ron tries to stand up straight and take the hits like a man. To Cam’Ron, it wasn’t about learning his lesson and not steal again. In his mind, he was thinking the ass kicking was worth owning a pair of $200 Jordans.

  “You still in here?” Roman walks back into the bathroom and sees Christian beating Cam’Ron while Patrón and Remy watched. “Yo, what the hell?’ Roman runs to help Cam’Ron up, but not before they removed the Jordans from Cam’Ron’s feet.

  Roman grabs toilet paper from the roll and held it up to Cam’Ron’s nose. He looks over at Patrón, Remy, and Christian who are now urinating inside of the Jordans. “Aye! What y’all doing?”

  “We can piss in my shoes if we want too.” Christian laughs as he continues to fill the inside of the shoe.

  “Put ‘em back on.” Patrón was dead serious when he spoke to Cam’
Ron.

  “What? You can’t be that foul.” Roman spoke for Cam’Ron.

  “Oh we can… and we is.” Lil Man said. “Now put ‘em on!” He tried his best to mimic that of his older brother.

  Cam’Ron uses the wall to stand, walks toward the shoes, and then looks back at Roman. He raises one foot and stops in midair when he hears Roman say, “Y-you don’t have to do that Cam’Ron.” Roman grabs Cam by his arm.

  “Yeah, you don’t have to do it, Cam’Ron.” Remy imitates Roman and glares into Cam’s eyes. Cam’Ron already knew what was up. He snatches his arm away from Roman and sink his left foot into one of the Jordans. His foot soaked up the urine like a sponge. Cold and wet, Cam’Ron stuck his other foot into the second shoe.

  Laughter rang out. “Ew, you’s a nasty nigga.” Little Man said as he pointed at Cam’Ron. Cam’Ron held his head up high, so high it was as if his chin was pointing at the three of them. Oh yeah, Cam’Ron wanted to cry, but he didn’t dare. Not in front of the Walkers and dang sure not in front of Roman. He looks at the smug face Christian wore and wondered how in the world they were ever friends.

  Remy headed for the bathroom door with his brothers tagging along. “I want to see you in those shoes you stole from my brother every day for the next two months. If there’s even one day that I or one of my brother’s see you without those Jordans on… Well, let’s just say, it won’t be as nice as it was today.”

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