Found in Bliss

  It was happening again.

  “Dushka, calm down. Caleb has his reasons.” Alexei’s eyes fairly pleaded with her.

  “He managed to tell you.” An icy stubbornness was settling over her.

  Alexei shook his head. “No, I discover on my own. I discover what an amazing man he is. Yes, his family is wealthy and powerful, but he choose to be doctor to poor people in Africa. He choose to save peoples. And he choose to come here. He choose you. He might be too stubborn to admit to this, but he loves you, Holly.”

  Not enough. Never enough. “He didn’t even tell me his real name.”

  Caleb’s eyes were flinty stones staring at her. “This is my real name. This is who I am.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  His jaw hardened, and he looked back at the floor. “Because it doesn’t matter.”

  “If it doesn’t matter, why didn’t you tell me?”

  His eyes came up, and they were cold. So damn cold. “Because I’ve had too many women who were interested in my family and not me.”

  She felt her hands shaking. She was right back where she’d begun. She was twenty and in love and under fire. “You thought I was a gold digger. Just like my ex-mother-in-law.”

  Scott laughed, a smug, satisfied sound. “If he doesn’t, I assure you his brother will. Caleb Sommerville is worth about fifty million dollars. That’s what your trust is worth, right? And Eli is worth probably a billion. Trust me, you don’t marry into that family without some heavy vetting. His first wife was a socialite. Caroline Hanover. Good stock. My mother would have approved.”

  “Congressman, I think we’ve had about enough of you. Please feel free to go.” Nate gestured toward the door. “My deputies can show you out.”

  Holly had heard enough. “I think I’ll go, too, Sheriff. We can all agree this is probably not about me. I’ll be at my cabin if you need me.”

  Caleb reached out and grabbed her arm. He pulled her close. So close. She could feel the heat of his skin. “I’m not through.”

  She wasn’t about to let him manhandle her. “But I am. I’ve played out this scene before, Caleb. I won’t put myself through it again. I thought the reason you wouldn’t commit was because you hadn’t gotten over your first wife. I can see now that you wouldn’t commit to someone like me. Scott told me once that I was excellent mistress material for a man like him. He’s a bastard, but at least he was honest with me.”

  Caleb wouldn’t let go. His face tightened. “You pulled me into this. I wanted to stay away. I wanted to be alone, damn it. You made me care about you. Don’t you dare walk away from me now. You sit down and talk this out.”

  She pulled away from him. “I think I’ll pass, Dr. Sommerville. You can find some other cheap lay.”

  “Dushka, don’t go.” Alexei didn’t touch her, but she could feel his will.

  She turned away from him, too. “You knew, and you didn’t bother to tell me. I don’t really want to talk to you, either.”

  She strode out of the sheriff’s department, Nicky hot on her heels.

  “Mom,” he called out.

  He was the one man she was mad at who she absolutely couldn’t get rid of. “Could you please drive me home, son?”

  His face fell. “Sure. But you’re making a huge mistake. He’s not like Dad.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this with you. I want to go home. You can’t understand what it’s like. You belonged. You had Lang blood. I can’t do it again. I can’t be the person everyone looks down on. Caleb can talk all he likes, but in the end, he’ll want someone his family will approve of. You heard your father. His wife was a socialite. She fit into that world. When he chose a woman, he chose one who fit into his social network. He’s told me for a year he wasn’t good for me. I should have listened.”

  Nicky followed her across to Stella’s parking lot where his car was parked.

  She was so stupid. Nicky was driving a hundred-thousand-dollar sports car, and she’d bought his whole “Dad kicked me out” routine. She also bought Alexei’s sad puppy eyes. He hadn’t even bothered to mention that he had two US Marshals tailing him. No one told her anything. That was how much she meant to these men.

  Her son she could forgive, but Alexei and Caleb? She wasn’t sure. She’d been an idiot thinking this would work out.

  She’d just opened the door to the Benz when Nell came rushing up. She was still in her mime face paint, but her mouth was moving a hundred miles a minute.

  “Oh, my god, Holly! I just heard that Sasquatches blew up your car. I mean, I know it was a person. Even Mel knows that now, but are you okay? How did it happen? What went wrong? Do you know who I should protest against?”

  Nell’s hands fluttered as she spoke. Holly caught them in her own. Nell immediately calmed.

  “I’m fine. Everyone’s fine except my car. My car is now evidence. Don’t worry about it. I think I’m out of the line of fire.” But Alexei wasn’t. Caleb wasn’t. Someone was still trying to hurt one of them. Indecision bit at her. She looked back at the station house. Was she making a mistake?

  What the hell was she doing walking away when they were in trouble? But how could she trust them when they’d lied to her?

  “Do you need anything?” Nell asked.

  Time. She needed a little bit of time. “No.”

  “She needs a friend with a good head on her shoulders to kick her in the ass,” Nicky said, frowning. “She just dumped both of her boyfriends. Can you kick her ass?”

  Nell shook her head. “No. I am really, really bad at that. I can hold her hand and pat her back and agree with everything she says. But I think I know just who she needs.”

  Before Holly could protest, Nell was in the backseat of the car. She sighed and got in, wondering all the while if Nicky wasn’t right.

  * * * *

  The door to the station slammed shut, and Holly was gone. Alexei wasn’t sure how everything had gone so wrong in such a short period of time. Just a couple of hours before, he’d been perfectly happy. Holly had been in his arms. He’d laid her in bed, and she’d immediately fallen asleep. He’d listened to her breathing and that was when he’d caught sight of Caleb’s closet. It had been left slightly open and there was a sad-looking pillow and sleeping bag inside. He’d stared at it, a sadness in his heart.

  He’d figured out Caleb’s sleeping problem and come up with a plan to fix it. He knew what he wanted to try. He’d crawled back into bed with Holly, utterly content. Everything had been falling into place.

  And now it had all blown up as surely as Holly’s car had.

  Scott stared at Caleb, a decidedly satisfied look on his face. “Dr. Sommerville, it really has been a pleasure to meet you. I assure you my party is going to be very interested in what I learned on this little trip. You know, I always thought that one day I would get back together with Holly. I really did care for her. Oh, not in an official capacity, of course. She really isn’t political wife material. But I thought I would have her again. I suppose not. You seem to have hurt her as much I did. I don’t think she’ll give either of us another chance, so I’ll take what I can. Yes, I think outing you will make up for losing Holly.”

  He turned and began to walk out the door.

  And Caleb stood there. Alexei checked his need to punch something. There would be time enough for that. For now, he had to deal with his partner and fast.

  “Go after her.”

  Caleb seemed frozen. Only his lips moved. “She made her choice.”

  “It was wrong choice. You need to fight for her. Can’t you see that’s what she needs? It would have been different, very different, if you had been one to tell your story—your name. But it was the very man who broke her once before. Can’t you see? She needs you to fight.”

  “She walked away, Alexei. She walked away when I asked her to stay. She didn’t really ask me anything. She heard my name, and she judged me. She doesn’t want me. I was right to have stayed away in the first place. And now I have
to leave town. I can’t blow my brother’s career up over a failed romance.”

  “It only fail if you allow. And do not worry about your brother. I take care of this. Stay. Think.” He turned, hoping Caleb would still be there when he got back, but he had to take care of something first.

  “Alexei!”

  Alexei turned at Nate Wright’s sharp bark.

  “Don’t you kill him in my parking lot.”

  “I will not kill. But he might wish I had.” Alexei turned and strode out the double doors. Rage churned in his gut, but he checked it. Beating the shit out of Scott Lang wouldn’t solve anything. It would make things worse. In this case, the threat was worth far more than the act.

  Scott Lang stood by his Audi, his keys in hand.

  Alexei stood in front of the man. He was pleased when Scott let the hand holding the keys fall to his side.

  “What the hell do you want?”

  “You know who Caleb is, but my question now is do you know who I am?”

  “You don’t look familiar.”

  “Do you know the name Alexei Markov?”

  His eyes widened slightly. Alexei was very pleased to see fear begin to creep into Scott Lang’s face. “You’re the Russian who turned on the American mob.”

  “And several politicians,” Alexei admitted. “I do not discriminate.”

  Scott’s hand went to the door of his car. “I’ll ask again, what do you want?”

  Alexei wanted many things. He wouldn’t get most of them, but there were a few that were truly worth fighting for. “I want to turn back clock and make sure you never open that mouth of yours. I cannot be doing that. But I can explain a few things to you. I really am everything the press says. I really did everything they say. I did it for my brother. For revenge. I spend years pursuing this revenge. I give up life for it.”

  “Yes, I read that.” Scott swallowed as he spoke.

  “I do not give up revenge until I meet one woman. Holly.” He leaned against the Audi. “I am only alive because of Caleb Burke. You should understand that I consider these two people my family.”

  “Are you threatening me?”

  He smiled, though he knew it was the smile of a hungry wolf. “I am explaining the truth of the world to you. You think your wealth will protect you. You think you can hire enough guards to be a buffer between you and my revenge. This is not true. If you tell world about Caleb, Holly, and myself, you will never be spending another night in restful peace. You can put walls between us. You can put men between us. It will not stop me. I will come for you. I will be there one night even if it is long in the future. I will be the last face you see before the blood leaves your body. I vow this. If I have my way, Caleb will marry Holly. I will be happy to be the secret. I will be happy to be anything they allow me to be. I will not be the reason they are taken down. If anyone be finding out, I will hold you accountable.”

  Scott’s face had gone a pleasing shade of stark white. “I can’t promise that. I can keep my mouth shut, but it could get out.”

  “No. If it does, I will come for you.”

  “Damn it, man,” the politician practically whined. “You can’t hold me accountable.”

  “I will come for you.” He stepped away from the car. His point seemed to have been made. “Remember this. You can tell the world, and I will come for you. You can tell a single friend who tells someone else, and I will come for you.”

  Scott straightened his shoulders, but his voice was still whiny and small. “Don’t you think you scare me.”

  “You will make decision. If wrong decision, then I will come for you. I will come for you because I will have nothing left. I will watch you, Congressman. I will always be watching you.”

  He turned away to see Caleb standing there, his hands on his hips. Alexei felt himself flush. Damn it. He hadn’t wanted Caleb to see that part of him. He’d been careful to always be the smiling Alexei around Caleb. Alexei knew Caleb had read the stories, but he hadn’t seen the truth of him.

  The Audi peeled out of the parking lot like the devil was chasing it.

  “I think the Congressman might have peed himself.” Caleb said the words, but Alexei didn’t see any humor in them. His friend stood there, grim-faced and hopeless. “You didn’t have to do that. My brother is a big boy. Trust me, he can handle himself. It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried to use a scandal to bring down a Sommerville campaign.”

  It would be the first time Alexei had been used in such a way. He wouldn’t stand for it. “It is my problem to handle. Not his.”

  Caleb ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand you. Why the fuck would you think that? I don’t get anything about you. Why the hell are you here?”

  How could he make Caleb understand? This didn’t work if they didn’t watch out for each other. “I love Holly. She is better part of me.”

  “Then why the fuck didn’t you go after her?” Caleb asked, his eyes straying down the road where Holly had taken off.

  Alexei took a long breath. This was a gamble, but he’d never been known for playing it safe. “Because you are part of me, too.”

  Caleb shook his head, his eyes returning to Alexei. “God, you’re confusing.”

  He wasn’t arguing. “I am not. You are just not as smart as you think.”

  Caleb stopped and stared, and then a smile crossed his face. He laughed from deep in his belly. He laughed, doubling over. “I’m definitely not as smart as I think. I’m stupid. So fucking stupid.”

  Caleb’s laugh turned into something sad. Alexei felt it in his heart.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Caleb admitted. “I know what my instinct is. I should leave.”

  “Your instinct is stupid.”

  “She doesn’t want me.”

  “She is scared,” Alexei explained, though he thought it should be evident. “She needs you. And you need her. Please to be thinking about this. She thinks you loved your wife.”

  “I didn’t,” Caleb replied, his voice hard with guilt. “And I hate myself for that. I did what was expected of me. I did what I had been taught to do. I married Caroline, and then I just knew I needed something more.”

  “Will you need more than Holly?” Alexei knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Caleb say it.

  Caleb didn’t even hesitate. “No. I love her. Fuck. I said it. I love her. I just don’t think I deserve her. My brother is capable of giving me hell. I don’t think he will. I think as long as I stay out of the spotlight, he won’t care what I do as long as I’m happy. He’s not a monster, but he could say something. He could make her feel bad. I can’t promise that some pushy reporter won’t find out. I knew she would feel this way, and I took her anyway. I need to leave. I need to let her be happy with you.”

  They really did need him. He’d worried about his place, but it was obvious now. Caleb was a brilliant man, a kind man. He was the kind of man the world needed, but he’d been broken in a way that left him incapable of trusting himself. He needed someone who didn’t mind kicking a little ass—even his.

  “You not go. You will stay. You will stop with the aching belly and begin to grow back your balls. This is not worthy of you. Our woman is out there. She is alone, and yet you stand here worried that she will not forgive. Make her forgive. Give her something. Give her your story. Tell her why you are afraid. Tell her why you don’t sleep with her.”

  Caleb’s eyes came up.

  “Yes,” Alexei explained. “I see closet. I am man with curious nose.”

  “You’re nosy,” Caleb corrected. “You’re a nosy bastard. And I’m not bellyaching. I can’t change who I am.”

  “So stubborn. You already changed. You changed when you agree to be with her. And don’t be telling me you were just there for sex. You were in love, simply not man enough to say. Be man, Caleb. Be the man you were when you decide to walk away from wealth to help people. Be the man you are in your soul, not the one who is too scared to reach out for what he needs.”

&nbs
p; “I sleep in a fucking closet because I can’t stand to be in the open.” His hands went to his hair, shoving it back even though there wasn’t enough of it to fall in his face.

  Alexei shrugged. “This we can handle. We make nice closet for you. We tuck you in and close door.”

  “Damn it. You don’t get it. You make this sound easy, but it isn’t.” Caleb practically growled his frustration.

  Alexei found himself oddly calm. He understood Caleb far better than his friend could know. “No, you make hard because it easier to live with than to let go. You cling to pain because you know it. It is familiar. It is blanket. You think I do not understand? When I close eyes, I see my brother. I do not see him as he was. I see him dead. I see the blood as though that was only thing that mattered about him. Blood. Everywhere. One bullet reduced him to a mess on the floor that someone had to clean. I see this when I close eyes at night. And I force myself to think one thought of him. I think about day he teach me to skate. I replay that day in my mind. The air is crisp and cold around me, but my brother’s smile is warm. He is patient. He teach me what he knows. That was my brother. That was his life. He was taken from me. I take him back. You had something taken from you. Are you strong enough to take back?”

  “You’re a fucking bastard.” Caleb’s eyes closed, and when they opened again, there was a suspicious moisture there. “I love her. I don’t want to let her go. I don’t want to let this go.”

  Alexei reached out and gripped his friend’s shoulder, something deep inside falling into place. “Then don’t let go.”

  “You know you’re using me as a substitute for your brother. You have to see that.”

  Maybe he was, but it couldn’t hurt anything. He saw Caleb for what he was. Caleb was nothing like Mikhail with the exception of the fact that Alexei cared for both. “It is more than that, but even if it was, I am good brother. I would be good brother to you. I would not be letting you down.”