Fighting to Breathe

  “Austin,” she whispers.

  “Austin?” the guy in the chair repeats, and his jaw starts to tic. “Figures he would be here.” He glares at Lea like he’s just proven a point.

  “You are?” I ask him, even knowing who his.

  His jaw grinds then a smirk forms on his face. “Her husband.” He stands and I raise a brow at Lea, who all of a sudden looks flustered.

  “Ex-husband.” Her eyes narrow and her hands turn to fists on top of her jean-covered thighs. “You still haven’t said why you’re here, Ken.”

  “We have a lot to talk about, and I needed to make sure you were okay. Your mom was sick then I heard she passed away, so when you didn’t answer my calls or texts, I decided to fly out here to check on you myself.”

  “I didn’t answer them, because I didn’t want to talk to you. We have nothing to talk about,” she tells him.

  “I’m worried about you, Peaches. You left, you haven’t talked to any of your friends, and you just cut yourself off from everyone, including me.”

  “Well, as you can see, I’m just fine, so you can leave.” She stomps to the door and pulls it open, swinging her arm outside.

  “Peach—”

  Her hand shoots up and the word cuts off. “Do. Not. Call me that.”

  “You loved that name.” He frowns, looking at her hand.

  Her head drops back and her eyes close in frustration. I move to her without thinking and pull her to me, palming the back of her head and tucking her into my chest.

  “You need to leave,” I tell him, holding Lea tighter when she tries to pull away from me.

  “You can’t tell me what to do. I want to talk to my wife.”

  “She isn’t yours anymore,” I growl, feeling my body wrap tighter around her.

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, if she wasn’t still mine? Too bad, because she is. I haven’t signed the papers. I wanted to see if we could work things out,” he says, and Lea, who is still in my arms, is frantically trying to get away from me, but if I don’t hold onto her, I’m liable to wrap my hands around the piece of shit’s neck.

  “You asshole!” she yells, pressing at my chest, but her eyes are on her ex. “You fucking asshole!” she screeches, breathing heavily. “Why are you doing this to me?” she whispers a few moments later, sounding defeated. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

  My head dips, and I see her eyes are closed and her breaths coming in rough pants. Anger boils up inside of me. This is not what she needs right now, not with everything else that is going on. I look over the top of her head at Ben, who has his arm wrapped around a pale-looking Rhonda’s shoulders, and lift my chin. I pass Lea off to him then step in front of Lea’s ex, dipping my face towards his. “I’m gonna tell you one more time to leave, then I’m putting your ass outside.”

  “There are no rooms in town. I have nowhere to stay,” he says as his eyes flick from me to Lea.

  “You got a car,” I tell him, taking another step towards him, forcing him back.

  “I’m not sleeping in my car.”

  “Well, seeing how Lea is now mine,” I whisper, ducking my face closer to his so only he can hear me, “you’re not staying here.”

  “She’s not yours,” he hisses, bumping me with his chest.

  “She’s always been mine, and I think you know that, don’t you?”

  “Fuck you.” He pushes my chest, but instead of touching him, I use my size to force him another step back, then move to the side and shut the door in his face. I’ve been in my fair share of fights, but right now, in this moment, I feel volatile. I want to open the door back up and beat the shit out of him. I drop my head forward and try to push through the anger that is clouding my vision.

  “I hate him,” Lea whispers. I turn to look at her, her ass in on the couch and her head is in her hands.

  “Are you still married to him?” Rhonda asks softly, while rubbing her back.

  “No, I don’t know.” Her head lifts and our eyes lock. “I haven’t turned on my phone or checked my e-mail since I came home.”

  “Fucking asshole,” Ben grumbles then pulls the blinds down slightly to look outside.

  “Is he gone?” Lea asks.

  “No, the fucker is still sitting out there.”

  “Should we call the cops?” Rhonda asks, sounding afraid, and Ben’s big body freezes then turns to look at his wife.

  “No, babe. I don’t think he’s violent,” he tells her softly, stepping away from the window and getting down on his haunches in front of her.

  “He’s just stupid,” Lea says, reading the situation. Rhonda looks from Ben to her and nods, taking a relieved breath.

  “Go get your phone, baby,” I tell Lea, and her head swings my way. “I want you to call your lawyer and ask what the fuck is going on.”

  “Good idea.” She gets up off the couch and disappears down the hall, coming back a few moments later with a phone and a long charger, which she plugs into the wall and phone. “The battery’s dead,” she explains. That’s when I notice a slight blush on her cheeks and her bottom lip looks darker than normal, like she was biting it. The urge to kiss her again sits in my gut as I watch her.

  “I have fifty voicemails,” she mumbles absently then presses a couple more buttons and puts the phone to her ear. “Hi, Elaine, this is Lea. Is Tom available? Okay, thanks.” She looks up at me. “He’s there,” she says, so I nod while fighting back a smile; she’s so damn adorable.

  “Hi, Tom. Yes, I heard. He showed up here and told me the news,” she says, and her knuckles turn white as she listens to him talk. “No, I don’t want to be married to him anymore. That’s why I hired you and filed for divorce in the first place.” Her eyes close and her head tips back. “Well, if we have to do that, then please go ahead. Just send me the papers.” She sighs and her eyes open back up, locking on mine once again. “Okay, we’ll talk tomorrow. Thanks, Tom.” She lowers her head and drops her phone on the table. “He wasn’t lying. He didn’t sign, so now I have to file a petition with the courts.”

  “What a jerk,” Rhonda chimes in from her spot on the couch, where Ben has her tucked under his arm.

  “I just don’t understand why he’s doing this,” Lea says, sounding exasperated.

  “’Cause he’s a dick,” I remind her.

  “Yeah, he is. My mom hated him from the moment they met.”

  “Really?” That surprises me. I figured that at least at the beginning she must have thought he was good for her daughter. Good enough that she never told me where Lea was, good enough that she kept us apart for fifteen years.

  “She thought he was sneaky,” she furthers making me angry.

  “Why did you marry him then?” I growl, and her eyes swing from me to Rhonda and Ben before meeting mine again with tears filling them.

  “Sorry, excuse me.” She pushes past me, heading down the hall. My hands fist and I look at Ben, who jerks his head once. I know I need to keep my cool but I cant stand the idea of her with anyone and it pisses me off to know that he didn’t do right by her.

  “Fuck,” I mutter heading down the hall tapping the door once before entering her room finding her standing, facing the wall, with her head down and shoulders hunched.

  “Just give me a minute.” I hear tears in her voice and it cuts right through me.

  “Come here, Lea.” Her head shakes and her shoulders hunch farther.

  “Lea.”

  “No,” she whimpers like she’s in pain. “Why I married Ken isn’t something I can talk to you about.”

  “For now, I’ll let you have that play, baby,” I tell her, holding my spot near the door.

  “I just wish, for once in my life, things would go my way.”

  Those words crush me and force my feet to move to her. I spin her around and tuck her into the front of my body, resting my chin on top of her head.

  “It’ll get better, Little Lamb.”

  “I’m sorry about the kiss. I shouldn’t have done tha
t. I don’t even know what I was thinking,” she whispers, pressing her face into my shirt-covered chest.

  “I kissed you back,” I remind her. Her head lifts and her beautiful eyes still wet with tears meet mine looking confused. “We have a lot of shit to talk about Lea.” I tell her softly while lifting my hand to push some of her hair out of her face and curve my fingers around her jaw. “The time will come for us to do that, but you’re right; right now isn’t the time. Right now, I want you to work on getting stronger.”

  “I’m tired of being strong,” she whispers then lowers head and her voice until it’s almost impossible to hear her. “I wish for once I was the one being taken care of.”

  Fuck me. Her saying those words kills me. My arms convulse around her, wanting to take her away, to protect her from everything and everyone. I never thought about it like that, never thought about how much strength she had to hold within her tiny body in order to survive losing her dad, to stay away from home, from me, to divorce someone she had vowed to love, to watch her mother die.

  That statement was a game changer. Lea needs someone to be strong for her, to hold her hand and show her the way. I know it won’t be easy, but I know that if we come out of this together, it would all be worth it. I will just have to deal with the fall out head-on when it happens, and pray this shit doesn’t blow up in my face.

  “You okay to go back out there?” I ask after a long moment, rubbing my hands down her back.

  “Yeah.” She nods, taking a step away from me and wiping her eyes again, then her head tilts back and our gazes connect. “Thanks for…” She swallows then more tears fill her eyes. “Thanks for being my friend,” she mumbles then ducks her head without giving me a chance to reply, and leaves the room.

  “He’s still sitting in his car out front. Should we call Zach and tell him he’s trespassing?” Ben asks, referring to one of our friends, who also happens to be the town’s sheriff.

  “Why don’t you and I go and have a talk with him?” I tell my best friend, watching as a grin forms on his face.

  “I’ll talk to him,” Lea says, walking past me toward the front door. I swing my arm out and wrap it around her waist, pulling her back to my front, then drop my mouth towards her ear.

  “You’re not going to talk to him.”

  “This has nothing to do with you, Austin,” she gripes.

  “I beg to differ, Little Lamb.” I set her behind me and open the front door, making it down the three steps to the gravel as Ken’s head lifts and his gaze meets mine through the windshield.

  “Austin!” Lea cries from behind me, and I turn, look over my shoulder, and tell Ben, “Hold her.” He lifts his chin and wraps an arm around her shoulders keeping her in place while Rhonda smiles at me.

  “Swear to God, Austin, I’m going to kick your ass!” she shrieks, making me laugh as I walk to the driver’s side door of Ken’s rental and tap the window.

  “There a reason you’re still here?” I ask once he has the window down a couple of inches.

  His jaw clenches and his hands wring the steering wheel. “There are no rooms available at any of the hotels in this fucking town.”

  I don’t doubt him. This town has two hotels, and every year, from the beginning of fishing season until the end, every single one of them gets booked. People reserve rooms a year in advance, if not more.

  “Don’t know what to tell you. Guess you should have thought about that before you flew your ass all the way out here.” I shrug, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “Fuck,” he groans, leaning his head back.

  “Exactly what did you think was going to happen when you got here? You gave her up, fucked around on her, and then you come here when her mom dies, and expect what?” I growl, wanting to put my hands around his neck. His teeth grind and he pulls his eyes from me to look through the windshield. That’s when I catch the look in his eyes, one I’m all too familiar with. Longing.

  “Think whatever you want, but you can’t even begin to comprehend how it feels loving someone, when they’re in love with someone else, when you’re there just to fill a void that is so gaping that you never even stood a chance. Don’t think I didn’t love her.”

  “The difference between me and you, man, is I wouldn’t have stepped out on her. I would have fought for us, even if that meant loving her enough for the both of us.”

  “You have no idea what I tried,” he snaps.

  “Doesn’t matter now.” I shrug and take a step back. “She’s home and she’s mine. Another difference between me and you, even if she wanted to get away from me, I would never let her.” And with that, I step back and tap the roof of his car. “You need to get off the property or I’m calling the sheriff.”

  He glares at me, but the car starts up and he backs out of the driveway. I stand there with my arms crossed over my chest, watching until he’s gone.

  “I can’t believe you just did that,” Lea says as I step back on the front porch.

  “Did you want him to stay here?” I ask, raising a brow, and her lips turn downward.

  “Well, no, but I could have told him myself to get lost.”

  “Yeah, you could have, but I did it for you.” A fire I haven’t seen in a while lights her eyes and her hands ball into fists.

  “Well don’t,” she growls then stomps back into the house, letting the screen door bang hard behind her.

  “Get your seatbelt on, babe. Looks like shit’s about to get real,” Ben says, wrapping his arms around Rhonda’s waist, resting his hand on her stomach.

  “Is it wrong that I’m actually excited to see what’s going to happen? It’s like watching The Notebook, only it’s real life,” she stage-whispers.

  “Jesus,” I groan, running my hand over my beard.

  “Well, it is.” She frowns then smiles. “Only you’re a lot hotter than Ryan Gosling.”

  “Did you just call Austin hot?” Ben growls into her neck, making her laugh.

  “You’re still hotter, honey,” she says on a grin then looks at me, concern transforming her features. “What changed?” she asks straight out.

  “You know I was going there,” I replied.

  “I know, but after what happened this afternoon, I just thought you weren’t sure anymore,” she says softly, looking into the house.

  “It’s not that, Ro,” I tell her quietly.

  “I know you’re a good guy, Austin, and I know you won’t hurt her on purpose, but tread lightly.”

  I lift my chin, not willing to talk about this shit with her. I have a feeling if she knew my plan, she wouldn’t like it much, but I’m not gonna turn back. I will deal with shit as it happens and pray everything works out in the end.

  “Go on in, babe,” Ben tells her, and she turns her head to look over her shoulder, placing a kiss on the underside of his jaw before opening the screen door and heading inside.

  “So, what’s the plan?” he asks, turning and resting his forearms on the rail of the porch.

  “Don’t really have one,” I mumble.

  “I can’t believe her ex showed up here.”

  “I can. Fifteen years have gone by, and in that time, I’ve had more women than I care to admit, but none of them even came close to giving me what she did, and I know that no one ever will.” I run my hands over my face then turn to look through the screen door. Lea is standing in the living room with her hands on Rhonda’s belly and a smile on her face that notches her beauty up tenfold. “He fucked up, and I’m not excusing what he’s done, but he took a shot at coming here and being her shoulder to cry on, thinking she didn’t have anyone, hoping he could somehow fill the void that runs deep inside her.”

  “Still, total dick move,” he rumbles, but my eyes are still on Lea as she smiles, roaming her hands over Rhonda’s stomach.

  “Yeah.” It was a dick move, but I got it. Sometimes in life, you’re only given the shot at something beautiful once, and when you have it in your grasp, you’ll do anything to keep it, even if you
end up crushing it in the process. Watching Lea in this moment, I know this is where she is supposed to be. I hate we had fifteen years stolen from us, but know that if things go my way, we’ll have sixty to make up for it.

  Chapter 9

  Lea

  Lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling, as the light from outside shines in through the window, casting shadows on the bumpy surface I pray for sleep. Even though it’s after one in the morning, the night looks more like dusk. If I’m going to stay here, I’ll need to buy darker curtains and blinds, because I’m used to sleeping in pitch black and the light, along with my brain that never seems to shut off, is leaving me exhausted. I guess right now I have a good reason to not fall asleep.

  My ex-husband is in town—well, I guess he actually isn’t my ex. Then, Austin…I have no idea what is going on with him. Something has changed; I don’t know when, but I can feel it in his touch and see it in the way he looks at me. And that scares me more than anything has in a very long time.

  I roll to my side to face away from the window then hear a light tap, tap, tap coming from the front door. I frown then hear it again. Ben and Rhonda left around nine, and Austin stayed until ten only leaving then because he had to get up at four for an opener. When I walked him to the door he gave me a long hug and a kiss to my forehead then whispered his lips over mine before walking to his truck leaving me wanting more. Running my fingers over my lips absently I get up, turn on the light, and pull my oversized cashmere sweater off the back of the chair. Quietly going to the front window in the living room and peeking out through the blinds, seeing the car that Ken had driven here earlier today is parked out front.

  “Goddammit,” I hissed under my breath, looking at the door again when the tapping starts back up.

  “Lea, I know I shouldn’t have shown up. I know I should have signed those papers. I’m sorry, Peaches, but I really have nowhere to go. The hotels are all booked, and there are no available flights until Sunday. Can I please come in? I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “This cannot be happening,” I mutter. There is no way I want to be in the same state as my ex-husband, let alone under the same roof, but I do know he is probably telling the truth about the hotels and the flights, so I feel conflicted and wish for once I didn’t have a conscience.