Casual Encounter Vol. 2

  Oh shit. Had I really just said that? I didn't even know what the hell color his eyes were? Was that the best line I could think of? It sounded like the kind of cheesy pick-up line men like Steven Danforth used on drunk sorority girls to get them into bed.

  “Thank you, Miss Gamble.” The waiter smiled, but the expression on his face made it clear he was uncomfortable. “My boyfriend said you were a nice teacher.”

  “Excuse me?”

  The waiter shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “My boyfriend. Kyle Jamison. You had him last year for senior English. He was behind a year because of some health problems and you helped him get caught up so he didn't end up getting behind again. He's at Stanford now.”

  Right. I remembered the young man. He'd been nineteen and desperate to prove he wasn't stupid. A sweet boy.

  I forced a smile. “I'm glad to hear he's doing well. Tell him I said hello, would you?”

  “Of course, ma'am.” He glanced at Adelle and Mindy. “I'll be right back with the check.”

  I waited until he walked away, purposefully not looking at either of my friends. When he was out of sight, I stood. I felt a bit wobbly, but nothing I couldn't handle. “I think I'll be calling it a night.”

  “Wait, Bree–” Adelle began.

  “No,” I snapped. “I don't want to hear it.”

  “We just want you to be happy,” Mindy interjected.

  My mouth flattened into a line. “Right now, a long hot bath and a good night's sleep are what will make me happy.” I didn't wait for either of them to try to make more excuses. I didn't run, but I walked as fast as a graceful exit would allow.

  The cool autumn air felt nice against my overheated skin and cleared my mind. I wasn't as drunk as I'd feared and I didn't hail a cab right away. A walk sounded like just what I needed. I was too far from home to walk the entire way, but the direction I had to go was well-lit and still very public at this hour. The physical exertion would be good for me, help me burn off the anger starting to bubble up inside.

  Nothing had changed. Adelle and Mindy both still thought it was their responsibility to 'help' me, but neither of them seemed to think that help meant supporting the decisions I made. I wasn't sure why it had taken me this long to realize my friends pitied me, but recent events had made it perfectly clear.

  I could see now, as I looked back over the years, how they'd felt that way even before Ronald left me. They'd pitied how I'd only been with one man, as if my decision not to sleep with as many men as possible somehow meant I was broken and needed to be fixed. Maybe not that extreme, but they seem to think I couldn't manage on my own and I needed their help. When the hell did fucking equal being okay?

  I scowled. I was tired of this. Tired of people thinking I was weak or couldn't do things on my own. I was tired of everyone acting like I needed to be coddled. The problem was, I wasn't sure I could do this on my own. I didn't want them to treat me like I didn't know what I was doing, but when it came to my personal life, I really didn't know. Tonight had been absolute proof.

  I needed help, but I didn't want to get it from Adelle or Mindy. No, I needed it from someone who didn't have a personal stake in it. In me.

  And I happened to know just the person.

  Chapter 5

  I kept telling myself that I'd made the right decision, that this was the best way to get what I wanted. It still didn't keep my palms from sweating or my heart from racing as I walked toward the little café where I'd arranged to meet Cade. The little voice in the back of my head that had been telling me for years how a good girl was supposed to behave had been yelling at me since I'd called him last night and it wasn't getting any quieter.

  I paused at the café door and asked myself one last time if I was sure this is what I wanted to do. If I did this, there would be no going back. I would have to own this decision, and since Cade's proposal had included Adelle paying for his services, it meant admitting to my friends what I'd done. There was no way I could afford him on my own, not on my budget, and I wasn't about to go to someone on the street. And as much as it pained me to admit it, I was attracted to Cade, and our night together left me certain I would physically enjoy the experience.

  “It's time to take charge,” I whispered to myself. “I'm a grown woman and this is a business transaction.”

  My little pep talk didn't ease my nerves, but it did at least quieten that voice and allow me to think.

  I stepped inside and scanned the room. I was early, but Cade was earlier. I spotted him sitting at a table next to one of the massive glass windows. He nodded in greeting but didn't come to me. That was fine. I didn't want anyone mistaking this for a date. And by anyone, I meant me. I went to the counter and ordered coffee, but decided to forgo my usual caffeine and asked for decaf. I didn't need anything to make me more jittery. I didn't even actually want the coffee, but I'd feel better if I had something to keep my hands around and sip from to help stop me from fidgeting. I needed to appear in control. I was the one who'd initiated contact, the one who was calling the shots.

  I slipped into the seat across from Cade, my best professional expression on my face. I met his gaze but couldn't read anything. His face was casually blank, not in an expressionless way, but rather like someone who was mildly interested in whatever was going on around him.

  “You said you wanted to discuss my offer?” He broke the silence and I was grateful for that. I hadn't been sure how to best approach the subject, and it wasn't like either of us wanted to make small talk.

  “I do,” I said. Heat rose in my cheeks, but I refused to look down. “I'd like to take you up on it.”

  If he was surprised by my decision, he didn't show it. He did, however, ask, “What prompted the change of heart?”

  “I'm tired of my friends acting like I'm some charity case when it comes to men,” I said. “And I'm sick of attracting men like my ex.”

  Cade nodded and took a sip of his drink. “So what is it, specifically, you want out of this?”

  I frowned, confused. Wasn’t he the one who was supposed to tell me that? “Whatever it is you think I need.”

  For a moment, I could've sworn I saw something like desire flash across his eyes, but I dismissed it as a trick of light. I wasn't going to do that, read into little nuances and try to convince myself that I was different, special.

  “All right,” he said, his voice neutral.

  “Everything having to do with payment goes through Adelle,” I continued with the next point on the list I'd written down this morning. “Whatever you charge, extra expense, anything like that, you deal with her. I don't care how and when she pays you. It's between the two of you. I never want to hear about it. Ever.” I couldn't stop myself from adding, “Considering you've dealt with her before with this kind of transaction; I figured you two already have an understanding.”

  “Makes sense,” he agreed. He leaned back in his chair, the tight t-shirt he was wearing hugging his muscles.

  I could see it now, how his every move was designed to draw attention to his body. Despite myself, a stab of arousal went through me. That was good, I supposed. I wouldn't want to get into this with someone whose touch I couldn't stand.

  “Since I'm not discussing money with you,” he said. “I suppose we should start on the other terms.”

  “Other terms?” I was confused, but curious.

  One corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement. “Trust me, there's plenty we need to talk about before we get started.”

  I blinked. I hadn't expected this. I'd thought I'd come in, tell him to deal with Adelle for his payments, we'd set up a time to begin, and that would be it. I hadn't thought we’d need to have some lengthy conversation.

  “First, there's one rule I have for clients who hire me for more than one session. No matter what verbal contract we've agreed to, this will end if you become emotionally attached.”

  “Good,” I retorted. “And I expect the same if you become 'emotionally attached to me.' The las
t thing I need is you following me around like a lost little puppy.”

  A look of surprise crossed his face and I caught a flash of amusement in his eyes. Both were smoothed away in seconds, hidden behind his mask. “Since we've agreed on that, I need to know your sexual history,” he said it so matter-of-factly it took me a minute to process it.

  “Why?” I asked. “What does it matter? You know I'm not a virgin.”

  He ran his hand through his curls and I wondered if it was a nervous habit or a planned gesture. “During a normal session, part of the process of the night would be to learn what the client wants. I'm usually quite skilled at discerning needs. But, for what you're asking, it's different.” He shifted in his seat and leaned his elbows on the table, clasping his hands in front of him. “You feel like there's something wrong with you.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, then snapped it shut again. He was right. This was why I'd come to him in the first place.

  “I need to know what that something is,” he continued. “Both what you think and the reality.”

  I mimicked his position, trying not to think about how close our hands were. “What do you want to know?”

  “You said you’ve only had sex with one man other than me.”

  I nodded.

  “How long had you and your ex been together?”

  “Seven years,” I answered automatically. “We started dating my freshman year of college.”

  “When did you begin sleeping together?”

  This wasn't too bad, I thought. It wasn't like my choices were anything to be ashamed of. “My sophomore year.”

  “So you were, what, nineteen when you lost your virginity?” Cade gave me a searching look. “And you're in your mid-twenties now?”

  I nodded again. “Twenty-five.”

  “So in those six years, you never had sex with anyone else?”

  “No. I never cheated.”

  “What about threesomes? Or your ex watching you with someone else?”

  For a moment, I thought he was joking, but then I realized he was serious. “Um, no. None of that.”

  “So you've never been with a woman either, right?”

  Heat rose in my cheeks. “Adelle and I got drunk at a party in college and kissed, but I don't remember it. Does that count?”

  Cade's lips twitched and I got the impression he was trying not to laugh. “No. Sorry.”

  I sat back in my seat and put my hands on my lap. “Is that it? You know my whole history now. One guy, period.”

  “We're not even close to done,” Cade said. “I need to know what you've done so I can get an idea of your boundaries.”

  “What I've done?” I felt like an idiot even as I asked it.

  “Was he strictly a lights-out, missionary style guy, or did the two of you at least try other positions?”

  I glanced around, suddenly very much aware that I was in a public place. “We did it with the lights on and different positions, okay?”

  Either Cade didn't sense how annoyed I was getting or he didn't care – I was betting the latter – because he got even more personal. “You've done oral? Anal? Toys? Any bondage? Spanking?”

  “Shut up!” I hissed, my face flaming. “You have no right to ask me those things!”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Aubree, you want me to teach you what I know but I can't ask questions?” He pulled his chair around the table so that he was sitting only a few inches from me. “You want me to wait until I'm balls deep inside your cunt, my finger in your ass before I ask if you've ever had anything in there before?”

  My jaw dropped and I stared at him. He said it so plainly, I couldn't be offended. He wasn't trying to shock me or insult me. He was just proving a point. “Okay.” My voice cracked but he didn't laugh. I tried again. “Okay. I get it. And I'll make it easier for you. The closest thing to kinky Ronald ever did was some dirty talk, and there wasn't really even much of that. Mostly just 'oh, baby' and 'you feel good.'” I dropped my eyes on the last one and hated myself for it. “And I went down on him once at a drive-in back when we were in college. So oral and regular sex. No kinky stuff.”

  “All right,” Cade said. “That takes care of sexual history.”

  “I don't get yours?” The question shot out of my mouth before I could stop it. I looked up in time to see his look of surprise before he laughed.

  “Hon, I've done it all.” He winked at me. “But if you want details...”

  “No!” I quickly said. “Are we done?”

  Cade shook his head and the feeling of dread inside me grew. “Now we need to discuss how this is going to work.”

  I felt another snarky response wanting to escape and refrained.

  “I'm your teacher, which means, entering into this, you are agreeing to do as I say.”

  “Hold on.” I shook my head. “I don't think so.”

  “Would you tell a piano teacher that you don't want to follow his or her instructions?”

  “No,” I said. “But a piano teacher isn't going to tell me to spread my legs.”

  “If they're a good one, they might.” Cade gave me his wicked grin again, the one that made me want to slap him and kiss him at the same time. “But seriously, you're asking for me to instruct you. That means you have to trust me to do my job.” His expression became serious. “I promise I will never tell you to do something that isn't for your benefit.”

  “Really?” I let skepticism flow into my voice.

  “I'm not saying I won't enjoy it, too,” he said. “But it'll all be part of your lessons.”

  “So you want me to agree to do whatever you tell me, no matter what?”

  “You'll have safe words. Red means stop. Yellow means you're uncomfortable and aren't sure if you want to go any further. Yellow's okay, but if you say red, I'll stop and we'll be done. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do, but I'm not going to play either. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.”

  That actually sounded reasonable, I thought. Still, the idea of having someone bossing me around sexually made me anxious. “What kinds of things would you be telling me to do?”

  “Well, we'd ease into everything, of course,” he said. “But it might be something like me telling you to get down on your knees and put your hands behind your back.” His voice was so low I had to lean closer to hear everything. “I'd tell you to open your mouth and I'd control how fast and how deep you took my cock.”

  I swallowed hard at the image his words painted.

  “Or we might go to dinner and I'll have you leave your panties at home.”

  My hands curled into fists. He reached out and pushed back a curl that had fallen across my face.

  “I'll tell you when you can come. When you can touch yourself or me. Every aspect of your pleasure will be mine to control.” He paused, and stroked my cheek again, his finger brushing across my lower lip. And, Aubree… there will be pleasure. More than you've ever dreamed possible.”

  My pulse sped up at his words. I had no doubt he could deliver on his promise. The question was, could I do it? Could I give myself over to this man, allow him to take control of every aspect of that part of my life?

  My eyes met his and he held my gaze, steady and sure of himself. He hadn't done anything to break my trust, I reminded myself. If anything, coming to see me after what had happened was evidence that he did have a degree of honor.

  “All right,” I said, my voice barely over a whisper. “I agree.”

  He pushed back from the table and stood abruptly. “Very good. I'll speak to Adelle about the monetary arrangements. Our first date will be tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Tomorrow?” I was thrown.

  “I assumed you'd want to begin at my next available appointment. Would you prefer to wait?”

  Part of me was saying I should wait, that I needed to carefully consider what I was doing. Up to this point, it had all been talk. But tomorrow? Tomorrow meant fantasy was speeding toward a reality I didn’t feel ready for. If I agreed t
o see him tomorrow, he'd contact Adelle and there wouldn't be anyway to pretend like this exchange had never happened. I knew if I waited, even a week, there was a good chance I'd change my mind. And then… then everything would go back to the way it was.

  My insides sank at the thought and I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. The ‘way it was’ sucked. The ‘way it was’ was merely existing. That, more than anything, made me agree.

  “Tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Great.” Cade held out his hand for me to shake.

  I tried to ignore the heat going through me as we touched.

  “I'll contact you with the place and time by this evening.”

  “Okay.”

  “Until tomorrow then.” He released my hand.

  Tomorrow, I thought as I watched him walk away. Tomorrow was when everything was going to change. A new chapter. A new life. I was going to be a whole new person. Brave. Adventurous. Alive.

  I tried not to think about how much that idea terrified me.

  Chapter 6

  I didn’t know if it was Adelle's idea or Cade's to go to the Four Seasons Ritz-Carlton rather than the Park Hyatt Hotel where Cade and I had our first tryst, but I appreciated the gesture. I was nervous enough as it was. I didn't need memories of that previous night. The date itself hadn’t been bad. It was actually because it had been so good I didn't want to be reminded of it. I didn't want to think about how I'd felt that night, full of hope and possibilities. Better I stick with what I knew to be true. Cade was going to teach me what I needed to know to make sure I never felt like a fool again. And if I enjoyed myself, then he was just doing his job. Nothing more.

  His text had been succinct. The hotel name and room number, with a time. It surprised me a bit that he hadn't included any other instructions, like what I was supposed to wear or how I was supposed to behave. I'd spent the entire night trying to figure out what I was going to wear and had ended up not choosing any of the three outfits I'd picked out. Instead, I opted for simple and professional, a reminder for myself that this was a business transaction. Plain black skirt that reached my knees. White cotton blouse. Fitted black jacket. Sensible pumps. It had been the outfit I'd worn to interview for my position at Legacy.