The Vicomte de Bragelonne

  CHAPTER XI.

  THE RAT AND THE CHEESE.

  D'Artagnan and Porthos returned on foot, as D'Artagnan had arrived. WhenD'Artagnan, as he entered the shop of the Pilon d'Or, had announced toPlanchet that M. de Valon would be one of the privileged travelers, andwhen the plume in Porthos' hat had made the wooden candles suspendedover the front jingle together, something almost like a melancholypresentiment troubled the delight which Planchet had promised himselffor the next day. But the grocer's heart was of sterling metal, aprecious relic of the good old time, which always remains what it hasalways been for those who are getting old the time of their youth, andfor those who are young the old age of their ancestors. Planchet,notwithstanding the sort of internal shiver, which he checkedimmediately he experienced it, received Porthos, therefore, with arespect mingled with the most tender cordiality. Porthos, who was alittle cold and stiff in his manners at first, on account of the socialdifference which existed at that period between a baron and a grocer,soon began to get a little softened when he perceived so muchgood-feeling and so many kind attentions in Planchet. He wasparticularly touched by the liberty which was permitted him to plungehis large hands into the boxes of dried fruits and preserves, into thesacks of nuts and almonds, and into the drawers full of sweetmeats. Sothat, notwithstanding Planchet's pressing invitations to go upstairs tothe _entresol_, he chose as his favorite seat, during the evening whichhe had to spend at Planchet's house, the shop itself, where his fingerscould always find whatever his nose had first detected for him. Thedelicious figs from Provence, filberts from the forest, Tours plums,were subjects of his interrupted attention for five consecutive hours.His teeth, like millstones, cracked heaps of nuts, the shells of whichwere scattered all over the floor, where they were trampled by every onewho went in and out of the shop; Porthos pulled from the stalk with hislips, at one mouthful, bunches of the rich Muscatel raisins with theirbeautiful bloom and a half-pound of which passed at one gulp from hismouth to his stomach. In one of the corners of the shop, Planchet'sassistants, crouching down in a fright, looked at each other withoutventuring to open their lips. They did not know who Porthos was, forthey had never seen him before. The race of those Titans, who had wornthe cuirasses of Hugues Capet, Philip Augustus and Francis the First,had already begun to disappear. They could not help thinking he mightpossibly be the ogre of the fairytale, who was going to turn the wholecontents of Planchet's shop into his insatiable stomach, and that, too,without in the slightest degree displacing the barrels and chests thatwere in it. Cracking, munching, chewing, nibbling, sucking, andswallowing, Porthos occasionally said to the grocer:

  "You do a very good business here, friend Planchet."

  "He will very soon have none at all to do, if this continues," grumbledthe foreman, who had Planchet's word that he should be his successor.And, in his despair, he approached Porthos, who blocked up the whole ofthe passage leading from the back shop to the shop itself. He hoped thatPorthos would rise, and that this movement would distract his devouringideas.

  "What do you want, my man?" asked Porthos, very affably.

  "I should like to pass you, monsieur, if it is not troubling you toomuch."

  "Very well," said Porthos, "it does not trouble me in the least."

  At the same moment he took hold of the young fellow by the waistband,lifted him off the ground, and placed him very gently on the other side,smiling all the while with the same affable expression. As soon asPorthos had placed him on the ground, the lad's legs so shook under himthat he fell back upon some sacks of corks. But noticing the giant'sgentleness of manner, he ventured again, and said:

  "Ah, monsieur! pray be careful."

  "What about?" inquired Porthos.

  "You are positively putting fire into your body."

  "How is that, my good fellow?" said Porthos.

  "All those things are very heating to the system."

  "Which?"

  "Raisins, nuts and almonds."

  "Yes; but if raisins, nuts and almonds are heating--"

  "There is no doubt at all of it, monsieur."

  "Honey is very cooling," said Porthos, stretching out his hand toward asmall barrel of honey which was opened, and he plunged the scoop withwhich the wants of the customers were supplied into it, and swallowed agood half-pound at one gulp.

  "I must trouble you for some water now, my man," said Porthos.

  "In a pail, monsieur?" asked the lad, simply.

  "No, in a water-bottle; that will be quite enough;" and raising thebottle to his mouth, as a trumpeter does his trumpet, he emptied thebottle at a single draught.

  Planchet was moved in all the sentiments which correspond to the fibersof propriety and self-love. However, a worthy representative of thehospitality which prevailed in early days, he feigned to be talking veryearnestly with D'Artagnan, and incessantly repeated:--"Ah! monsieur,what a happiness! what an honor!"

  "What time shall we have supper, Planchet?" inquired Porthos; "I feelhungry."

  The foreman clasped his hands together. The two others got under thecounters, fearing that Porthos might have a taste for human flesh.

  "We shall only take a sort of snack here," said D'Artagnan; "and when weget to Planchet's country-seat, we shall have supper."

  "Ah! ah! so we are going to your country-house, Planchet," said Porthos;"so much the better."

  "You overwhelm me, Monsieur le Baron."

  The "Monsieur le Baron" had a great effect upon the men, who detected apersonage of the highest quality in an appetite of that kind. Thistitle, too, reassured them. They had never heard that an ogre was evercalled "Monsieur le Baron."

  "I will take a few biscuits to eat on the road," said Porthos,carelessly; and he emptied a whole jar of aniseed biscuits into the hugepocket of his doublet.

  "My shop is saved!" exclaimed Planchet.

  "Yes, as the cheese was," said the foreman.

  "What cheese?"

  "That Dutch cheese, inside which a rat had made his way, and we onlyfound the rind left."

  Planchet looked all round his shop, and observing the different articleswhich had escaped Porthos' teeth, he found the comparison somewhatexaggerated. The foreman, who remarked what was passing in his master'smind, said, "Take care; he is not gone yet."

  "Have you any fruit here?" said Porthos, as he went upstairs to the_entresol_, where it had just been announced that some refreshment wasprepared.

  "Alas!" thought the grocer, addressing a look at D'Artagnan full ofentreaty, which the latter half understood.

  As soon as they had finished eating they set off. It was late when thethree riders, who had left Paris about six in the evening, arrived atFontainebleau. The journey had passed very agreeably. Porthos took afancy to Planchet's society, because the latter was very respectful inhis manners and seemed delighted to talk to him about his meadows, hiswoods, and his rabbit-warrens. Porthos had all the taste and pride of alanded proprietor.

  When D'Artagnan saw his two companions in earnest conversation, he tookthe opposite side of the road, and letting his bridle drop upon hishorse's neck, separated himself from the whole world, as he had donefrom Porthos and from Planchet. The moon shone softly through thefoliage of the forest. The odors of the open country rose deliciouslyperfumed to the horses' nostrils, and they snorted and pranced aboutdelightedly. Porthos and Planchet began to talk about hay-crops.Planchet admitted to Porthos that in the more advanced years of hislife, he had certainly neglected agricultural pursuits for commerce, butthat his childhood had been passed in Picardy, in the beautiful meadowswhere the grass grew as high as the knees, and where he had played underthe green apple-trees covered with red-cheeked fruit; he went on to say,that he had solemnly promised himself that as soon as he should havemade his fortune, he would return to nature, and end his days as he hadbegun them, as near as he possibly could to the earth itself, where allmen must go at last.

  "Eh! eh!" said Porthos; "in that case, my dear Monsieur Planchet, yourretreat is not far distant."
r />   "How so?"

  "Why, you seem to be in the way of making your fortune very soon."

  "Well, we are getting on pretty well, I must admit," replied Planchet.

  "Come, tell me, what is the extent of your ambition, and what is theamount you intend to retire upon?"

  "There is one circumstance, monsieur," said Planchet, without answeringthe question, "which occasions me a good deal of anxiety."

  "What is it?" inquired Porthos, looking all round him as if in search ofthe circumstance that annoyed Planchet, and desirous of freeing him fromit.

  "Why, formerly," said the grocer, "you used to call me Planchet, quiteshort, and you would have spoken to me then in a much more familiarmanner than you do now."

  "Certainly, certainly. I should have said so formerly," replied thegood-natured Porthos, with an embarrassment full of delicacy; "butformerly--"

  "Formerly I was M. d'Artagnan's lackey; is not that what you mean?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, if I am not quite his lackey, I am as much as ever I was hisdevoted servant; and more than that, since that time--"

  "Well, Planchet?"

  "Since that time, I have had the honor of being in partnership withhim."

  "Oh, oh!" said Porthos. "What, has D'Artagnan gone into the grocerybusiness?"

  "No, no," said D'Artagnan, whom these words had drawn out of hisreverie, and who entered into the conversation with that readiness andrapidity which distinguished every operation of his mind and body. "Itwas not D'Artagnan who entered into the grocery business, but Planchet,who entered into a political affair with me."

  "Yes," said Planchet, with mingled pride and satisfaction, "wetransacted a little matter of business which brought me in a hundredthousand francs, and M. d'Artagnan two hundred thousand."

  "Oh, oh!" said Porthos, with admiration.

  "So that, Monsieur le Baron," continued the grocer, "I again beg you tobe kind enough to call me Planchet, as you used to do; and to speak tome as familiarly as in old times. You cannot possibly imagine thepleasure that it would give me."

  "If that be the case, my dear Planchet, I will do so, certainly,"replied Porthos. And as he was quite close to Planchet, he raised hishand, as if to strike him on the shoulder, in token of friendlycordiality; but a fortunate movement of the horse made him miss his aim,so that his hand fell on the crupper of Planchet's horse, instead; whichmade the animal's legs almost give way.

  D'Artagnan burst out laughing, as he said, "Take care, Planchet; for ifPorthos begins to like you too much, he will caress you; and if hecaresses you, he will knock you as flat as a pancake. Porthos is stillas strong as ever, you know."

  "Oh," said Planchet, "Mousqueton is not dead, and yet Monsieur le Baronis very fond of him."

  "Certainly," said Porthos, with a sigh which made all the three horsesrear; "and I was only saying, this very morning, to D'Artagnan, how muchI regretted him. But tell me, Planchet?"

  "Thank you, Monsieur le Baron, thank you."

  "Good lad, good lad! How many acres of park have you got?"

  "Of park?"

  "Yes; we will reckon up the meadows presently, and the woods afterward."

  "Whereabouts, monsieur?"

  "At your chateau."

  "Oh, Monsieur le Baron; I have neither chateau, nor park, nor meadows,nor woods."

  "What have you got, then?" inquired Porthos, "and why do you call it acountry-seat?"

  "I did not call it a country-seat, Monsieur le Baron," replied Planchet,somewhat humiliated, "but a country-box."

  "Ah, ah! I understand. You are modest."

  "No, Monsieur le Baron; I speak the plain truth. I have rooms for acouple of friends, that is all."

  "But, in that case, whereabouts do your friends walk?"

  "In the first place, they can walk about the king's forest, which isvery beautiful."

  "Yes, I know the forest is very fine," said Porthos; "nearly asbeautiful as my forest at Berry."

  Planchet opened his eyes very wide. "Have you a forest of the same kindas the forest at Fontainebleau, Monsieur le Baron?" he stammered out.

  "Yes; I have two, indeed, but the one at Berry is my favorite."

  "Why so?" asked Planchet.

  "Because I don't know where it ends; and, also, because it is full ofpoachers."

  "How can the poachers make the forest so agreeable to you?"

  "Because they hunt my game, and I hunt them--which in these peacefultimes is for me a picture of war on a small scale."

  They had reached this turn of the conversation, when Planchet, lookingup, perceived the houses at the commencement of Fontainebleau, theoutline of which stood out strongly upon the dark face of the heavens;while, rising above the compact and irregularly formed mass ofbuildings, the pointed roofs of the chateau were clearly visible, theslates of which glistened beneath the light of the moon, like the scalesof an immense fish. "Gentlemen," said Planchet, "I have the honor toinform you that we have arrived at Fontainebleau."