Faster We Burn

  The dinner was a flurry of passing plates and the salt and everyone trying to cram their plates full. I took a huge helping of Stryker’s baked cheese thing, which turned out to be mind-blowingly good. I would have licked my plate if I was alone.

  Mom was busy with Kayla and Adam, so I chatted with Grampa Jack and Stryker. The latter kept touching my feet with his under the table and shooting me little smiles every now and then. I wished he would be less obvious, but he didn’t seem to see the glares I was shooting him back and he ignored it when I kicked him under the table.

  Finally, everyone had stuffed themselves and Mom brought out the pies.

  “You still have room?” Stryker said, raising his pierced eyebrow. “Where’s it gonna go?” Jesus, I wasn’t that skinny. I’d definitely been smaller in high school, but that was because all my stupid friends were skinny bitches and I didn’t want to be their one fat friend.

  “Oh, I can put away some pie. You just watch.”

  He leaned toward me, brushing some hair off my shoulder. “Is that a challenge I hear in your voice? Because I bet you can’t finish an entire slice of pie. With ice cream.”

  “What do I get if I win?” I said, turning in my chair.

  “How about I take you to dinner?”

  Oh, I’d make that worth my while. “Deal.”

  “What do I get if I win?” he said, running his finger down my arm. I hoped no one was looking.

  “What do you want?”

  His smile was slow and sexy. “I want you to sing a song with me at the next Band meeting.”

  I could agree to that because it wasn’t going to happen. There was no way I’d lose. “Deal.”

  Mom passed the pie around the table and finally got to me.

  “Apple, pumpkin or cherry?” she said.

  “Apple.”

  “Ice cream?” she paused, the scoop in the tub of ice cream.

  I looked right at Stryker. “Yup.”

  The plate was passed down to me and then it was Stryker’s turn.

  “Cherry, please. With ice cream.” I handed his plate to him and we clinked our forks together. Everyone else was attempting their own slices of pie, including Kayla and Adam who seemed to be having a similar contest.

  My baby cousin, Andy, started to wail, so Aunt Carol went change him as the other kids had an impromptu pie-eating contest while their parents weren’t looking, ending up with most of the pie on their faces and not in their mouths.

  “So. Where are you taking me?” I said when I held up my clean plate a few minutes later. “It better be somewhere nice.”

  “We’ll see, sweetheart.”

  “Shh,” I said, looking around to make sure no one had overheard. Grampa Jack was snoozing in his chair, his pie only half-eaten and everyone else was focused on something else. “Let’s keep that on the down low, okay?”

  “Sure thing.” We got up from the table and he grabbed my plates and his and took them to the sink.

  “Katie, can I talk to you for a minute?” Mom had finally let Kayla off the hook, and she escaped to the living room with Adam, probably to cuddle and whisper adorable nothings in each other’s ears. I’d never seen my sister so…disgustingly in love.

  “Yeah, sure.” I gave Stryker a look and he went to the living room to chat with them. Mom steered me down the hallway toward her bedroom. She made sure that no one followed us and then turned on me. Her face went from happy hostess to pissed-off mom in about half a second. Like flipping a switch.

  “What is wrong with you?” she said, putting her hands on her hips. She had a smear of what looked like cherry pie on the front of her shirt. She’d have a hissy fit when she found out.

  “What are you talking about?” I had some idea, but I wanted her to say it out loud.

  “Bringing a boy like that into this house? With the kids?” My mouth popped open. I couldn’t believe she was actually saying this. I’d thought they’d be upset about Stryker and maybe think he was just a slacker, or a loser. Not someone who would actually hurt children. I worried about how her mind had made that leap with Stryker when she’d let Zack into her house with open arms.

  “Are you hearing yourself right now? You think that just because he’s got a few piercings and tattoos and doesn’t look like an all-American college boy that he’s some kind of criminal? Because I have news for you: That guy? Zack? He’s a criminal. Just in case you forgot, he beat the shit out of me.” Every now and then, I still had a twinge of pain as a reminder.

  “Keep your voice down,” she hissed, glancing down the hall to make sure no one had heard my unseemly outburst. “That is an entirely different situation.” I didn’t see how.

  “Oh, and what about Adam, huh? You know nothing about him and you’re ready to let Kayla marry him just because he’s going to be a doctor. For all we know, he could be a serial killer.” I was pretty sure Kayla wouldn’t be engaged to a serial killer, but I had to make my point somehow. Mom’s face went red and I prepared for another verbal assault.

  We both shut up when Kayla came walking down the hallway, the happiness fading from her face.

  “Look, if you two are going to have a fight, you should probably be more quiet about it. I can’t hear exactly what you’re saying, but everyone can hear that you’re fighting. Seriously? You can’t even let it ride for one day?” Mom and I had a habit of choosing the holidays to have our knock-down-drag-outs.

  At least Mom had the sense to look guilty for being admonished by her own daughter. She dropped her angry face.

  “I’m sorry. I was just worried about your sister after everything she’s been through.”

  Kayla put her hand on Mom’s shoulder. “I know, Mom, but you really have to stop being so judgmental. I mean, I have a tattoo.”

  “Oh my God, Kayla. You didn’t.” Mom clutched her heart. You’d think Kayla announcing she was marrying a guy Mom had never met would cause that reaction, but no, it was the tattoo.

  Kayla rolled her eyes like she did when she used to come home after her curfew and Mom would ask her where she’d been. “Jesus, Mom. Everyone has tattoos now.”

  Mom started looking Kayla over, walking around her, searching for the tattoo. It was kind of funny. “Where is it? How big is it?”

  Kayla looked over her shoulder and then walked toward my parents’ bedroom. Mom and I followed, and Kayla closed the door behind us.

  “I just didn’t want everyone to see,” she said, pulling her shirt over her head. On her left shoulder was a quote and a picture of a dandelion blowing in the wind, the fluff floating toward her spine.

  Not all those who wander are lost.

  “It’s awesome, Kayla. When did you get it?” I said. It rivaled Stryker’s for the intricacy of the work. She must have gone to someone really talented.

  She smiled back at me. “Few months ago. It was a present from Adam.”

  Mom was still looking horrified.

  “It’s nice lettering, I guess. And it isn’t too big.” Wow, big compliment Mom.

  Kayla pulled her shirt down again and put one hand on my shoulder and one on Mom’s.

  “So, now that we’ve got that out of the way, can you two call a truce, just for today? After that you can go back to normal.”

  I would if she would.

  Chapter Nine

  Stryker

  “What do you think they’re talking about?” Adam said to me as we waited in the living room for our respective girls to come back. He’d gravitated toward me, since we were both outsiders. He’d found some beer in the fridge and had brought one back for me. Normally I would have turned it down since I wanted to make a good impression on Katie’s parents, but I could use a little liquid courage right about now.

  “Probably not recipes,” I said. The rest of Katie’s family and neighbors gave Adam and me some space, including Katie’s Dad, who was busy dealing with the dishes.

  “So what’s your story?” he said, sitting down on the couch. I joined him, setting my beer bottle
on a leaf-shaped coaster.

  I shrugged. “Katie took pity on a guy who didn’t have a family to spend Thanksgiving with.” More or less.

  He smiled and shook his head. “Yeah, I’m not buying that. You’re into her.”

  “Well, we do have a sort of…arrangement.” I figured he was a smart enough guy to read between the lines.

  “Arrangements often turn into something else. Be careful, kid. Those Hallman women have a way of infiltrating your life until you can’t see anything but them. How do you think Kayla got that ring on her finger?” He took another swig and looked at me.

  I was saved from forming an answer with the arrival of a grumpy-faced Katie.

  “Did you bring your stuff to stay the night?” she said, leaning on the back of the couch.

  “Yeah, it’s in my car.”

  She gave me a tight smile.

  “Great, I’ll help you bring it in.” She pivoted on her heel and headed for the front door.

  “Better get on that,” Adam said to me as Kayla walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  I nodded and walked toward the front door where Katie was waiting for me.

  “What was that about?” I said.

  “Oh, nothing. Just my mom being judgmental.” She wrenched the door open and stomped down the porch. I grabbed her arm and made her sit down on the steps.

  “It’s about me, isn’t it?” It was only a matter of time. I was surprised it hadn’t come up earlier. I guess I had Kayla and her announcement to thank for that.

  Katie growled and banged her hand on the step. I’d never seen her this frustrated before. It was kind of cute and also a huge turn-on. Frustrated sex was something we hadn’t tried. Yet.

  “She just pisses me off. When I dated Zack she rolled out the red carpet for him. He brought her flowers and kissed her ass and she bought every second of it. You know, she doesn’t really believe that he hurt me as bad as he did. Even though she saw it.” I couldn’t believe that. It just wasn’t possible.

  “So she thinks you’re lying? That you did it to yourself? Because that’s pretty fucked up.”

  “No.” She dug her fingers into her eyes, and I pulled her hands away and held onto them. “She just bought what he sold her. This all-American guy who was going to be my one true love. The perfect boyfriend. I guess she’s just having a hard time letting go of that.”

  “But why? Why does she want that for you so much?” I rubbed my thumbs over the backs of her hands, trying to do anything I could to make this better for her.

  “Because that’s what she and Dad were. High school sweethearts. Captain of the football team and the captain of the cheering squad. It sounds like a movie, but that’s how it happened for them. I know they fight a lot, but they really love each other. It’s not crazy that she would want that for me.” No, it wasn’t, I guess.

  “But what about what you want?” I let go of one of her hands, pulled a pen out of my back pocket where I always kept one and started doodling on the back of her hand. She looked down for a second, but didn’t stop me. Her sleeves hid the place where I’d done the drawing before, but I was sure she’d probably already washed it off.

  “That doesn’t factor in as much,” she said, holding still.

  “That’s a shame.”

  I could feel her watching me as I swept the tip of the pen across her skin.

  “I shouldn’t be bitching about my parents, especially in front of you.”

  I shook my head.

  “It’s okay, Katie. I want you to tell me what you’re feeling. Whatever that is. Your feelings are important. Never forget that.” I looked up from my drawing and gave her a quick smile before going back to work.

  “Adam seems nice,” I said, trying to shift the conversation onto less-volatile ground.

  “I knew she was seeing some guy, but I had no idea it was this serious. Mom’s thrilled that he’s going to be a doctor, of course. But seriously, who does that? She’s only known him for a few months.” She shifted closer to me, using me as a shield to block some of the wind that was whipping leftover leaves around the yard.

  “Maybe it’s real,” I said, moving the design up to her wrist.

  “I should hope it’s real. She’s marrying him.”

  Leaning her head down to see the design better, she breathed in my ear.

  “You’re really talented, Stryker.”

  “Thanks, sweetheart. You make a good canvas.” I tilted my head and found her mouth nearly touching mine. She smiled slowly and pressed her lips against mine tentatively. As if she’d never kissed me before. As if we were two teenagers coming home after a date and neither of us had the guts to kiss the other, but she decided to go for it anyway.

  Instead of attacking her, I stayed perfectly still, letting her skin melt into mine. I kept my hands and tongue to themselves and just savored the sweetest and softest of kisses.

  And then the door opened and I heard a gasp.

  Katie pulled away and we both looked over our shoulders and I met the livid eyes of Mrs. Hallman.

  “Mom,” Katie said, scrambling to her feet. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

  “Really? Because what I saw was you kissing a guy you claimed was just a friend who needed a family to spend Thanksgiving with, who happens to look like he just got out of prison.”

  “Mrs. Hallman—” I started to say, but a single glare from her shut me up. Mr. Hallman was right behind her, putting his hand on her shoulder and talking softly in her ear. That was my cue to make myself scarce.

  “I’ll give you a minute,” I said, heading for my car.

  Katie tried to stop me, but this wasn’t my place. She had some issues to work out, and my being there wasn’t going to help. I didn’t know if I should still get my stuff or not.

  I couldn’t count the number of times I’d been kicked out of a house, but this one felt shittier than any time before.

  Deciding I should give them a few minutes, I got in my backseat and stretched out, grabbing the violin I’d brought. It seemed like a better choice than the guitar or my uke.

  I plucked a few strings and wondered how the conversation with Katie and her parents was going. I really shouldn’t have let Katie convince me to come. I also shouldn’t have kissed her, but what was done was done.

  I’d had a lot of “shouldn’t haves” with Katie.

  I pulled out my bow, swiped some rosin across it and started playing. I started with “Holding On and Letting Go”, by Ross Copperman and moved to “Hysteria”, by Muse and then to “I Want You”, by Andrew Allen.

  Every song made me think of Katie. I poked my head up and glanced at the porch where they were still talking. It didn’t look good, because Katie was using her hands while she spoke. She only did that when she was especially pissed. She was also leaning heavily on one hip, which was another bad sign.

  The thing that almost made me laugh was that her mother was doing the same thing. Guess the apple didn’t fall far from that tree. Mr. Hallman looked like a referee who was trying to let both sides win.

  My phone chose that moment to chime with a call from Trish.

  “Hey, how’s Thanksgiving with the Cleavers?” she said, sounding quite cheerful, for Trish.

  “It’s been…interesting. How’s yours?”

  “Well, I’ve been invited to move in, so that’s good, I guess. Lottie’s parents are pretty cool. They’re both seriously smart though. You’d fit right in.”

  “Probably better than I do here,” I said under my breath.

  “Her mom’s freaking out, isn’t she?”

  “Just a bit, but she did catch us kissing on the porch after Katie told her I was just a friend.”

  She snorted. “Dude, can’t you keep it in your pants for one day?”

  “It wasn’t that kind of kiss.”

  “What kind of kiss was it, lover boy?”

  “Look, I’m not discussing this with you right now.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Katie storm off the po
rch and march her way toward my car, her face as dark as a hurricane. “Gotta go. Say hi to everyone for me.”

  “Will do. Bye.”

  Katie wrenched open the car door and climbed in without further ado.

  “How did it go?” I said. She pushed my violin out of the way and lay on top of me. That was unexpected, but it didn’t mean my dick didn’t respond accordingly.

  “Will you take me somewhere so we can fuck?” Her hands started working on my shirt and it took every ounce of willpower I had to grab them and make them stop.

  “Now? You want to fuck in the middle of your family’s Thanksgiving dinner?” Even for me, that was a little extreme.

  “Not in the middle of it. I just…I need to get away for a little while. I need a physical distraction.”

  She tried to wrench her hands away from my grip, but I wouldn’t let her, so she started grinding her hips against me. Damn, she knew how to push all the right buttons.

  “Katie, stop. Seriously. We can’t fuck every time you have a problem and don’t want to deal with it. Not that I don’t enjoy every second of it, but it never solves anything.”

  She looked down at me and I watched her face break and the tears start to fall on my shirt. I let her have her hands back so she could wipe them away.

  “I’m being stupid,” she said, moving so I could get out from under her. “I’m sorry. That was impulsive and stupid.” She pulled her knees up on the seat and I sat beside her.

  “Look, you may think that your mom is being crazy, but everything she’s doing is because she loves you. She loves you so much she’s trying to protect you from the scary pierced and tattooed guy. Most mothers would have the same reaction.”

  “You’re not scary.”

  “To a mother with a daughter, I am. To be fair, you didn’t give her a good warning about who was going to show up. You could have given her a heads up. Why didn’t you?”

  She shook her head.