Jaded

name was Luther, now did I?"

While mother and daughter played our game, Luther sat quietly.

"Tell me, Sheldon," my mother spoke again, seemingly bored. "Have you stopped yanking your friends around by their chains? Corrigan was positively enamored to see me. I wonder how Bryce felt considering it's his bed that you're in for the most part."

"Why would Bryce care if Corrigan was happy to see you?" I asked, but I knew I shouldn't have.

"Corrigan doesn't want my bed, darling. He wants yours. It's so obvious."

"Please," I laughed. "Do you know how many times that ploy's been thrown my way?"

"Really."

"Really," I delivered in contempt for my own mother. "Get some new material. You'd probably think of some if you weren't on your back more than I was."

Luther laughed, coughed, laughed again, and sputtered to compose his puppyish begging for scraps.

My mother froze and pierced me again with her eyes.

She asked softly, "Did you just call your mother a whore, darling? That's not very loving of you."

"That's funny. I don't ever remember you teaching me how to be loving."

Sharon took a breath and I felt her move farther away even though she never moved.

I waited, breath held in suspense.

A controlled smile graced her lipstick mask and she murmured, "We'll be going to a hotel from now on until I've found a new house for us. Now, if you'll excuse Luther and myself, we have important packing to do now. We need to sort what's worth saving and throw what's damaged."

Her words punctuated the right buttons and I felt a stab to the gut.

I stepped back and witnessed a flash of astonishment mixed with sympathy in Luther's brown eyes before he stood and followed my mother.

I stood by myself in the kitchen until I heard their bedroom door close upstairs.

I checked the window, but Corrigan's and Bryce's cars were both gone.

After another shower, I changed clothes and grabbed my phone as I moved into my backyard. It didn't pass my consciousness that I visited the backyard the first day my mother had returned home.

I stretched on one of the loungers and called Bryce.

"Yeah?" he asked and I heard the sounds of a video game in the background.

"You're at Corrigan's?"

"Yeah," he grunted and swore after I heard a crash.

"You just died, huh?"

"Yeah."

I rolled my eyes and snapped, "Bryce!"

"What? I'm here."

"Forget it," And I hung up. The phone rang a second later, but stopped with no message when I left it untouched.

It was the best time ever for my two best friends to abandon me.

It took me another second before I realized that Mena's house stared back at me. In fact, I had a perfect view of their driveway and living room. They only saw the back of my house with my garage at an angle. They could only tell if anyone was home if they actually walked over or saw headlights in the dark.

Not me. I saw perfectly that Mena was home as well as Denton's luxury Sedan.

I leaned forward from the lounger and squinted. I was able to make out four people in their living room. They all stood and suddenly the front door opened and slammed shut after Denton. He had a female companion with him that looked skanky with a barely-there red dress.

She was saying something as Denton walked her to his car—correction, her car—and just before she got into the driver's side, the kiss she tried to skim over his lips was met with air when Denton evaded her with a shake of the head.

Huh.

I saw her pull away and stiffen in anger before she peeled out of the driveway.

Denton stood a moment and watched her car before he raked a hand through his hair. He took a step towards their house, but stopped. He turned towards mine. I saw him jerk when it dawned on him that I had watched the entire thing. Another moment passed before he stepped towards me and I watched as he crossed the lawn separating our homes.

"You saw that, huh?" He dropped onto the lounger beside me.

I sat there, my eyebrows arched.

"Stop looking at me like that," he muttered as he buried his head in his hands, his elbows braced atop his knees. "God—this was an awful day."

"Tell me about it," I murmured, sarcastic.

"Mena has been…awful lately. I don't know what's going on with her. She just is angry and she takes it out on everyone. Dad's called me three times this weekend to come over because he can't handle her anymore. And Kari—it's our three month anniversary. She wasn't really understanding when I told her that I needed to stay with my family. We were supposed to fly to New York and have dinner at the Four Seasons." He laughed. "I'm going to be lucky if she even takes my call tonight."

I looked at him.

"What?" He looked back.

"You hit on me a week ago." Did it have to be said?

He shrugged. "So?"

"You were in a relationship and you hit on the 'girl that screws her movie star neighbor because she's pissed at how fake her parents are.'"

He flushed. "You're not ever going to let me live that down, huh?" He shrugged. "And besides, sex with you is like free champagne. You take it when it's in front of you and not ask questions or consider the consequences."

"I don't know if that's a compliment or if you just called me cheap." I seemed to be saying that to a lot of people.

"Neither. I'm just saying I'd jump on another bedspring with you any day."

Really? I rolled my eyes. "My mom's back."

He raised his perfectly plucked eyebrows that God had graced him with.

I sighed, "And she's back to get the rest of her stuff because her and my father are getting a divorce."

"Sorry about that," he said. "I remember when my parents got their divorce. I really think both my parents went crazy during that time. Thank god they hadn't gotten a psych eval, because they would've been diagnosed with something."

It didn't really help.

"Speaking of psych—Mena said that she's supposed to keep her 'psycho brother' away from you," he mused and grinned my way.

"You are psycho," I said matter-of-factly. "You're psycho when it comes to your sister."

"Thanks for giving her the brush-off, by the way. You did it pretty harsh, huh?"

"I didn't give her the brush-off. Corrigan and Bryce didn't like her and Mena didn't exactly stand her ground."

His scowl was immediate.

He caught my hand in a tight grip and asked, "Can you blame her? That one guy is fierce. He's a dick."

I didn't yank my hand back.

Denton realized it and protective brother was gone in a flash, only to be replaced by someone eager for free champagne.

He slid his fingers into mine and caressed my thumb.

I held my breath.

"Got a garage nearby?" Denton asked as his eyes flickered and focused on my lips. He tugged me closer and slid a hand over my thigh to play between my legs.

"What'd you say before?" I asked, throatily as he tugged me even closer.

I felt his breath against my lips when he replied, "About not asking questions or thinking of the consequences?"

"Yeah." I licked my lips and that was all it took. Denton fused his own against mine.

Warmth and excitement enflamed me as he shifted to lift me. He walked to my garage, fumbled for the door handle, and we were inside quickly. Denton pushed me against the wall and his hands did quick work as he shoved my pants down.

His kisses were demanding and rough, but it's what I needed.

One hand worked at his own pants as the other pulled my hair back to hold my head captive as his mouth assaulted me.

His tongue demanded entry and I could only hold on.

I heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper and then he gripped my thighs and clamped me around him as he shoved inside.

I gasped at the first thrust, but he pounded into me.

It was feral, hot, and when it was done too quick to have started, I held onto him for support.

He grunted as his last spasm left him and groaned, deep in his throat.

"Yeah," I laughed weakly.

Denton chuckled as he held me in place for another moment. He smoothed the hair away from my face and pressed his cheek against my forehead. And then his hands slipped between our bodies and worked its way inside of me.

He whispered as he kissed the corner of my mouth, "You didn't finish." He held me up until I was done and then he held me again until I could stand on my own.

"I have to go. Mena's probably wondering what I'm doing over here." And with an impersonal kiss to the lips, he was gone.

The empty garage stared back at me as I'd yet to fasten my pants.





Chapter 19





I messed up. The one other time that I had slept with Denton, I hadn't been scared for Bryce's reaction. I hadn't kept it secret, but it just hadn't mattered as much at that time. This time…it was different.

When I got to school the next morning, I ignored everyone else and searched for Bryce. I wanted to get this over with. I found him listening to a story from Harris.

I interrupted and grabbed his arm.

"What? Sheldon," Bryce said, startled.

I dragged him outside to a private area and stood there.

He asked, amused, "What? What happened to you yesterday? Was it really that bad with your mom?"

"I did…I did something yesterday that…you're not going to like."

Bryce grew silent.

"I…," I gasped.

"What'd you do?"

"I…had sex with someone last night."

Nothing. Silence.

I didn't look at him. I couldn't, but I saw one of his hands jerk in reaction. It caught itself and stretched, as if struggling to stay at its side.

He asked hoarsely, "Who?"

"Denton Steele."

Bryce turned away.

I cried out, "Don't—please don't leave. Just…stay and yell at me."

I still hadn't looked at him.

He asked, softly, "For what? We're not together, Sheldon. You and I, we're not a couple."

I finally raised my eyes to his and saw pain mixed with an unnamed emotion.

I held my breath. "You're not mad?"

He shook his head, but he didn't reach for me.

"No. I have no right to be mad, remember?"

"But…"

Bryce shook his head again and said faintly, "I gotta go to class. Bell's already rung. I'll see you inside."

When he left, I stood there and felt the same coldness as before.

I knew, I already knew, that it'd be a long time before he held me again.

Dazed, I was in the same place when Corrigan stuck his head out and exclaimed, "There you are! Holy hell—where've you been?"

"Corrigan," I said weakly and crumbled to the floor.

"Hey," he soothed as he knelt beside me. "What's wrong? Hey, hey."

I shook my head, it was all I could do, and whispered, "I just lost him."

Corrigan sighed and sat beside me. He flung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side.

I burrowed into his side as he said against my forehead, "No. No, you didn't."

"I did. I had sex with someone else. I screwed up, Corrigan. I really did."

"No," he soothed again as his hand brushed my hair back. "Bryce loves you, Sheldon. Like true, gut-wrenching, love. One screw-up and he's not going to leave. He could've walked a long time ago, but he hasn't."

I asked, hoarse, "How do you know?"

"Because whenever you think that he's gone off with some girl, he's usually on the phone with me talking about how he should actually do it. He should screw half the girls that you think he does, but he never does. He's just angry and tired of waiting. And he doesn't do it because Bryce loves you and he's waiting for your self-destruction to stop."

"Self-destruction?"

"Yeah," Corrigan laughed. "That's what Logan told me this morning. Last night, I told her a little about what else is going on. Logan was amazed that you could still come to school. She said she would've broken down and end up in the asylum or something." He laughed. "She said you're made of strong stuff and, no wonder, because of all that's happened to you."

"What? The notes and Leisha?"

"No," he murmured, tenderly. "Losing your parents. She said that Miss Connors told her once that the worst thing that could happen to a kid is to never be loved. That's the absolute worst thing. She said Miss Connors told her that every kid has a right to be loved and when they're not—it's never their fault."

It wasn't my fault.

Corrigan shifted away and remarked, "Um…about that…Miss Connors said that we were supposed to make an appointment in three days or something, but she's booked so…"

"What?"

"I signed up for her first available slot and it's…"

"Right now," I finished for him, numb.

He laughed nervously and watched me. He even scooted away from me.

"I have to go and see a counselor like this," I said flatly.

"Well…" Corrigan shrugged.

"Fine. Let's do this." And just as abruptly, I was up and through the door. I didn't care what my face looked like, if they could see the tears or not—I wanted this hour done and over with.

Bryce was already in the office, leaning in the same spot, but unlike the last time, he didn't straighten when we walked inside.

He ignored us.