A Reclusive Heart

  was also the fact that he had about thirty conventions and interviews to cancel tomorrow, which wouldn’t make Rerum Publishing House very popular. It was a tossup which one they’d take issue with, but he was willing to bet his, thankfully large, bank account on being canned for the video.

  “Is this it?” Jamie asked, looking up from her computer for the first time in hours.

  “Yes,” he said, throwing the car into park and shutting off the engine.

  Jamie sighed as she shut down her computer. “Thank you for the ride, Nick. I really appreciate it, but you don’t have to stick around. If you could just give me the key I think I’ll be all set,” she said, sliding her computer into her bag as she shifted nervously next to him.

  “You don’t want me to stick around?” he asked slowly, starting to have a good idea where this was going.

  “I, um,” she cleared her throat uncomfortably as she shifted again, “think that might be for the best.”

  Holy shit, she was breaking up with him, he thought with a humorless chuckle. “So now that the tour is over you want to end this, is that right?” he asked, cocking his head to the side to study her as she struggled to answer. If he hadn’t been looking at her he probably would have missed the way her little chin quivered or the way her eyes filled with tears.

  She looked away from him as she nodded. “The tour’s over and we said this would end along with the tour,” she said softly, giving him a helpless shrug.

  “I see,” he said evenly as he climbed out of his car and slammed the door shut, violently rocking the car. He couldn’t fucking believe this. He was giving up his job and his way of life for this woman and she was giving him the brush off? Not fucking happening.

  He grabbed most of their things from the trunk before slamming it shut and stalking towards the bottom level of his three story house. He unlocked the door and quickly disarmed the alarm. His little recluse reluctantly followed and when she looked around the garage filled with his black Mustang and his motorcycles her brows creased in confusion.

  “This way,” he said, shutting the door and resetting the alarm once again before walking past his bikes to the door that led to the second level of his home.

  When he stepped off the stairs he dumped their things on one of the leather couches as he walked through the living room and headed towards the kitchen section of the large open area. He grabbed an ice cold beer out of the fridge, popped the top and leaned back as he watched his little recluse stop in the middle of the living room and slowly look around.

  “Am I renting someone’s house while they’re away?” she asked, sounding so damn hopeful.

  “Nope,” he said, letting the word pop as he watched her.

  “This is your house?” she asked, looking anywhere but at him.

  “Mmmhmm,” he said, taking a sip of his beer.

  “Is there perhaps a chance that we’re merely stopping here on the way to my new place?”

  “Not a chance in hell,” he said, watching her reaction.

  “Oh,” she said, her shoulders drooping a bit as she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

  “Awkward, huh?”

  “You could say that,” she mumbled.

  “We had to get your stuff out of there quickly. We stored your stuff here and planned to have a place set up for you by the time you returned, but we had to cut the tour short. We don’t have a place set up for you yet,” he explained before taking another sip of his beer, his eyes never leaving hers.

  “Oh,” she said weakly.

  “I just happen to live alone and have plenty of room so I thought I’d let my girlfriend stay with me, but it seems that she just dumped my ass not even ten minutes ago so now we’re stuck in a very awkward situation,” he said, placing his beer on the counter before he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her.

  “Is there any chance that you can give me a ride to my car wherever it is so that I can find a hotel for night?” she asked.

  He shook his head as he said, “No way in hell. You’re staying here until this asshole is caught.”

  “I-I c-can take care of myself!” she sputtered, but he wasn’t buying it.

  “No,” he simply said, pushing away from the counter and walked into the living room.

  “What the heck do you mean ‘no’?” she demanded, following after him as he scooped up her bags and headed down the hall and up the second flight of stairs. He didn’t have to look back to know that she was following him. He paused by the first guest room, but it wouldn’t do. He walked down the hall and shoved open the door to the master bedroom and set her things down. As he stood up he spotted her boxed belongings piled in the corner and nearly groaned. Leave it up to Rick to take the initiative and screw him over.

  “You didn’t answer me,” she pointed out as she joined him in the room.

  “And I’m not going to. You’re staying here and that’s final.”

  “That’s not your decision,” she snapped, coming up behind him.

  “Yes, it is,” he said more calmly than he felt as he headed for the door. “This is your room while you stay. Make yourself comfortable.”

  “I’m not staying,” she said, picking up her bags and nearly toppling over under the weight.

  “Yes, you are, Jamie. If you try to leave I’ll just drag your cute little ass right back here.”

  “That’s kidnapping!”

  “Call it whatever you want, Jamie, but you’re not going anywhere right now,”

  he said, heading for the door only to have his little recluse drop everything and rush to cut him off.

  When he moved to step past her she held up her hands in a staying motion.

  “Look, I appreciate your concern. I really do, but I can’t stay here. I just can’t. So if you could just tell me where my car is I can call a taxi and make some arrangements to have my things removed and then I’ll never bother you again.”

  “No,” he said firmly, moving again to walk past her, but the damn woman wasn’t having it. It actually surprised him that she wasn’t backing down.

  “I really need to leave, Nick. Please just-“

  Something in him snapped. While he couldn’t get enough of her she wanted nothing to do with him. Worse, she couldn’t get away from him fast enough. He moved forward, crowding her until she had no choice but to back up. When her back hit the wall he caged her in by slapping his palms against the wall as he leaned into her.

  “Why?”

  “Why what?” she asked, licking her lips nervously as she glanced towards her right and probably what she deemed as freedom.

  “Why the hell are you so eager to get away from me, Jamie? Hmm? Tell me exactly what I did to set this off,” he demanded, leaning in to run his nose over her neck, inhaling her sweet scent.

  “You didn’t do anything, Nick. It was just time. Please just let me go,” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders, moving to push him away but instead she clutched almost desperately to him.

  “Why the hell are you doing this to me?” he whispered hoarsely as his hands clenched tightly into fists.

  “I’m not doing anything to you. I-“

  “Bullshit!” he snapped, pulling back slightly and slamming his fists against the wall, damaging the drywall and scaring the hell out of his little recluse.

  “I’m not doing anything to you!”

  “Yes, you are!” he snapped, glaring down at her.

  “What exactly am I doing to you? You’re the one who decided that this wasn’t going to go past the tour. It ended early and so did we. I accepted it so why can’t you?”

  “Because I fucking love you!” he shouted.

  As soon as the words were out he wanted to take them back. He opened his mouth to do just that, but he realized that he couldn’t. He loved her. He was head over heels in love with this woman and he knew it was pointless to deny it. Where other women had failed, his little recluse had not only succeeded in bringing him to his knees, but once he
was down she dropped kicked him in the balls for good measure.

  This hurt so fucking bad, he thought as he struggled for control. She didn’t love him, didn’t want him. She wasn’t the pathetic one, he was. He’d only loved two women in his life and both of them could have cared less, first his mother and now Jamie.

  He didn’t want to love her. A long time ago he closed his heart off and it should have damn well stayed closed. She had no fucking business making him fall in love with her, he thought bitterly even as he reached for her and how fucked up was that? He knew that she didn’t love him, but he couldn’t help but hope, pray really that she cared at least a little bit for him to take the edge off the tightness in his chest.

  “No, you don’t!” she cried, shoving him away.

  “Yes, I do!” he snapped back, reaching for her again only to have her weakly slap his hands away.

  “You can’t!”

  “Why the hell not?” he demanded.

  “Because you’ll get yourself killed, you jackass!” she snapped back and not even a second later she slapped both of her hands against her mouth as her eyes widened in surprise at what she probably thought was profanity since he noticed that she didn’t swear or the fact that she’d just said a little too much.

  “What did you just say?” he asked, stepping in front of her as she tried to head back down the hall and the hell away from him.

  “Nothing,” she mumbled, trying to get past him, but he refused to move.

  “It didn’t sound like nothing to me, Jamie. What did you say?” he asked, not allowing himself to hope that maybe, just maybe she cared about him too.

  “Just let me go, Nick. Please!”

  Let her go? There was no way in hell that he was going to let that happen.

  Not now. Not when there was a possibility that for once someone loved him back.

  When she folded her arms over her chest defensively and turned away from him he stepped up behind her, careful not to touch her in any way.

  “Tell me that you don’t care about me, Jamie, and you can go,” he said softly.

  “I don’t!” she cried, but he didn’t believe her.

  “You’re lying,” he said tightly, keeping his voice low and even as he resisted the urge to take her into his arms and shake some sense into her.

  “No, I’m not, Nick. We’re over. I don’t care about you and I never want to see you again,” she said, her voice breaking as she struggled not to cry.

  “Look me in the eye and say that,” he said, praying like hell that he wasn’t wrong. He couldn’t be wrong, not about her. She was his little recluse, his sweet, loving Jamie and he knew that she cared about him.

  Slowly, so damn slowly that he thought his heart was going to burst in two, she turned around. When she looked up at him and didn’t quite meet his eyes he had his answer.

  “I don’t love you, Nick. Please just let me go,” she said, keeping her eyes averted to the right as her chin trembled and her body shook as she struggled to hold back the sobs that he knew were threatening to escape.

  “You’re a liar,” he said softly as he reached over and gently cupped her face in his hands.

  “No, I’m not!” she cried out as tears began to stream down her face and she tried to step away from him, but he wouldn’t allow it. He was done playing this game and wanted to know why she was so damn willing to break his heart.

  “Look me in the eye, Jamie, and tell me that you don’t love me,” he demanded softly even as he carefully wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

  “I did,” she mumbled, sounding miserable.

  “No, you didn’t, baby. Look me right in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me and I will let you go, Jamie,” he promised, knowing he would, but that it would probably kill him.

  Beautiful glimmering caramel eyes looked up and locked on his. He watched as she worked her mouth soundlessly for several minutes before finally closing her mouth and looking away from him in defeat.

  “If you can’t tell me that you don’t love me then why don’t you tell me why you’re willing to lie to me, Jamie?” he suggested, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

  “Tell me why you’re willing to break my heart,” he whispered against her forehead.

  Instead of answering him she shook her head, but thankfully didn’t try to step away from him. He dropped his hands from her face and without a word swept her up into his arms and carried her down the hallway. When she still didn’t speak he started to become a little nervous. He sat down on the leather loveseat and adjusted her in his arms until she was straddling his lap. Once he was done he took both of her cool hands into his and pressed a kiss to each palm.

  “Are you upset about the video?” he asked, feeling like an idiot. Of course she was up about the video, but he didn’t know if that was the reason that she was pulling away. “If I had known, I-“

  “It’s not the video,” she whispered.

  “Then what is it?”

  “I shouldn’t be around you.”

  “Why? Because I’m a bad influence?” he asked teasingly, hoping to get her to smile. When her lips twitched he damn near sighed in relief.

  “Because of the threat. If you’re around me you might get hurt.”

  “And you don’t want me to get hurt?” he guessed.

  She shook her head.

  “Because you love me?”

  “Maybe,” she mumbled, pulling her hands away so that she could play with one of the buttons on his shirt.

  “Maybe?” he repeated, trying not to glare at the stubborn woman as he continued. “You thought by pushing me away that you were protecting me.”

  “If you’re not around me then you won’t be hurt,” she said firmly as she looked up and met his eyes.

  “Uh huh,” he said, wondering if he should just spank her ass now or cut off her chocolate supply. It was his job to protect her and he really didn’t appreciate her interference. It was touching that she cared about him enough to protect him, but really the woman needed to let him do his damn job, he decided with a shrug as he rearranged her on his lap until she was lying across his knees.

  Chapter 28

  “Oh, no you don’t,” Nick said, swiping the large coffee roll with extra icing out of her hand.

  “But I need that!” She made a mad grab for it, but Nick simply ignored her as he put it back in the white bakery box and dropped the box in the top drawer of the tall black filing cabinet near his desk. When he closed the drawer and locked it she considered kicking him in the shin and stealing the key out of his hand.

  “No, you don’t,” he murmured as he pulled her into his arms and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. “You’ve already met your sugar quota this morning,” he explained before taking her hand and pulling her towards the door.

  “Hey! You don’t get to set my sugar quota,” she muttered pathetically as she threw a look of longing over her shoulder at the filing cabinet.

  “I do when I wake up at three in the morning to discover a mound of empty candy bar wrappers-“

  “It wasn’t a mound,” she muttered, ducking her head in embarrassment the second he pulled her into the busy hallway.

  He of course ignored her denial and kept going. “-the bedroom light on and you tearing through your boxes and bags in search of your next fix,” he said, sounding amused, but she really couldn’t tell since he was looking ahead and of course she was still staring at the ground.

  “I was hungry,” she pointed out only partially lying. She had been hungry since they didn’t get a chance to eat last night. After he spanked her, and she still couldn’t believe the big jerk did that or more importantly her reaction to it, he taken her in what seemed like every room and every position he could think of as if he were trying to prove something. The only thing he managed to prove was that the man was a god in bed, or rather on the couch, stairs, against the wall, shower, etc.

  When he’d finally had enough around one this morning and passed out she?
??d been left exhausted, but too worried to fall asleep. She was worried about his job and she knew it was in jeopardy even though he tried to play it off like it was nothing to worry about. She was also worried that the stubborn man was going to get himself killed by sticking around her.