Thrill Me

  Gabe paused in the doorway and grinned at her. “Eager to lose again?”

  “Oh, I’ll be winning this time.”

  “We’ll see about that,” Gabe said, and with a wave he hurried out of the house. Owen hoped he’d be able to catch up with Jacob. Gabe might actually be able to talk some sense into the dude.

  “Are you staying?” Owen asked Kelly.

  “Free home-cooked meal?” He inhaled deeply through his nose. “Fried chicken, if I’m not mistaken. Do you need to ask?”

  Owen laughed, a bit of tension draining from his body. He hadn’t seen much of this version of Kelly since the guy had gotten laid. Maybe this time he hadn’t lost a friend when Kelly had gained a romantic interest. He pounded Kelly on the back and then helped Caitlyn to her feet. He still had plenty of good in his life. He just needed to focus on the positives and hope the negatives righted themselves.

  At dinner he and Kelly talked about most of their usual topics of conversation: baseball and music, family and plans, the weather and news. Caitlyn weighed in as though she’d always sat at his side. They purposefully skated around more serious topics—like band breakups and Jacob’s apparent meltdown. Even Lindsey seemed in her element as the elephant in the room—her pregnancy—was tactfully ignored.

  “Have you gotten any job interviews yet?” Owen asked her as they cleared the table.

  She sighed. “Not yet, but I’ve had a few good leads—most telling me to come back in six months. The problem is that no one is going to offer me a job when I’m going to need to be on maternity leave very soon.”

  “I don’t have a problem with you waiting to find work until after the baby is born,” Owen said. He wasn’t sure why Kelly was suddenly grimacing at him and shaking his head.

  “I have a problem with it,” Lindsey said. “I’m not a mooch.”

  “I might have some contacts in Austin that could help you out,” Caitlyn offered. “I’ll look into it when I return to the office.”

  “That’s nice of you,” Lindsey said with a smile.

  Owen was starting to think this might work. Caitlyn hadn’t tried to stab Lindsey at the dinner table, and everyone seemed to be getting along well. If he could just get his band back together.

  “Have you thought about temp work for now?” Kelly asked, his grimace replaced with an encouraging smile. “Maybe an agency has an assignment that will last a couple of months. And then you can find something permanent later.”

  “That’s a great idea, Cuff,” Lindsey said, placing the dishes she carried into the sink and giving him a hug.

  To Owen’s surprise, Kelly actually hugged her back. Owen supposed Kelly was the only member of the band who knew for a certainty that the baby wasn’t his, so he could relax in her company. And she really wasn’t a bad person; she was just in a bad situation. A situation he had probably gotten her into by idiotically using a contaminated condom. She’d kept her word as far as he knew and hadn’t told anyone how stupid he was. And he hadn’t told anyone either. Not even Caitlyn. Maybe he should confide in her. As he watched her fill the sink with soapy water, he decided he’d wait to rock that particular boat when the waters of his life were a tad less choppy.

  “Have you been to the doctor?” Kelly asked Lindsey.

  “Joan took me to meet her ob/gyn yesterday. We scheduled a thorough appointment for Friday. I’m going to have an ultrasound and everything.”

  “And a paternity test?” Kelly asked.

  Lindsey glanced at Owen and then flushed when her gaze landed on Caitlyn. “If I have to.”

  “If it’s not Owen’s baby, do you still plan on staying here?” Caitlyn asked.

  “I suppose I’ll have to leave.”

  When Lindsey’s eyes met Owen’s, he could see the fear behind her gaze. Was she afraid that there’d be no one there for her and the baby when the time came to give birth? With all the shit that Jacob and Adam were currently going through, Owen doubted that either of them would take proper care of her. And Tex was fucking married. Owen was sure his wife would love to have a pregnant groupie move in with them. Gabe would probably do right by her, but his girlfriend might have issue with him taking on another woman on the side. Caitlyn had already come to terms with the situation. She didn’t like the arrangement, but she trusted Owen and she had reason to. He would never break her trust.

  “She can stay here,” Owen said with a shrug. “Even if it’s not my kid.”

  Caitlyn dropped a pan in the sink with a loud bang.

  Kelly rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I’d accuse you of being an idiot . . .”

  Oh I’m definitely an idiot.

  “. . . but your family took me in and made me feel welcome, so I can’t insist you offer Lindsey any less.” He turned to Lindsey. “I can help you out too.”

  “But it’s definitely not yours, Cuff,” Lindsey said, rubbing a hand over her belly.

  He smiled, and Owen had to wonder if he saw as much of Sara in the pretty blonde as Owen did. The resemblance between Lindsey and Kelly’s lost love was almost eerie.

  “I don’t have to be responsible to want to help you, do I?”

  Silverware clattered loudly as Caitlyn slammed the utensils into the dishwasher. He’d never heard anyone load the machine so noisily.

  Lindsey gave Kelly another hug. “Thank you so much, Cuff. You’re almost as nice as Owen is.”

  “Almost,” Kelly said, winking at Owen over her head.

  “Excuse me,” Caitlyn said, giving Owen a pointed look he didn’t understand. “I need to use the bathroom.” She stared at him for a long moment before adding, “Upstairs.”

  Owen took that to mean she had to go number two and didn’t want to smell up the main floor, but wasn’t sure why she was announcing her bathroom situation to everyone. She gave him another hard stare before blotting her hands dry on a towel and leaving the room with a frustrated growl.

  “You’re supposed to go after her,” Kelly said.

  Owen made a face of disgust. “No thanks. What she does in that bathroom is her business.”

  “Trust me. You need to go after her.”

  Owen shrugged, but before he could hang out with Caitlyn in the upstairs bathroom, his phone rang. He was smiling in relief as he answered. “Hey, Mom, we just fin—”

  Her broken sob cut him off. “Owey?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t say it,” she said. “Not on the phone.”

  “I’ll be right there,” he said, his heart hammering so hard, he could scarcely breathe.

  He raced from the house, not bothering to close the front door. He jumped his front steps and sprinted the block to his mother’s house, vaguely aware of Kelly racing after him and calling, “Owen, what is it?”

  He opened his parents’ front gate—none of the dogs were in the yard to greet him—and hurried to the front door. From the porch, he could hear his mother sobbing inside. Knocking loudly, he yelled for her before trying the handle and finding the door unlocked. He followed the sounds of her crying to the living room and found her in a heap on the floor, fiercely hugging one of her rescue dogs while the others either watched or licked the tears off her face.

  “Mom!” He knelt in front of her and took her hands. “What is it? Are you hurt?”

  The pain in her eyes when she lifted her head wasn’t the physical sort. It was of the soul-crushing variety.

  “Ch-Chad.”

  Owen shook his head. Whatever she was about to tell him about his brother, he wasn’t prepared to believe a word of it.

  “His helicopter went down.”

  Owen shook his head harder. No. He was coming home soon. That was what she’d meant to tell him. Chad was coming home.

  “Monday. It happened Monday, and they didn’t bother to tell us until now!”

  “Is he—” Owen couldn’t actually say the word dead, because Chad’s death was too unreal to consider.

  “Alive,” she gasped. “In a hospital in Germany.”
r />   Owen released a sigh of relief. Alive. They could handle anything but dead. He couldn’t handle dead.

  “They’re not sure he’s going to make it.”

  “That bad?” he heard himself say over the growing buzz in his ears.

  She nodded. “His CO said he was the only survivor. The only survivor.”

  He pulled her into his arms, her little three-legged dog squirming in protest between them. “He’s going to make it.”

  “They said not to get our hopes up,” she gasped out between sobs.

  Too bad. Owen’s hopes were sky high.

  “He’s going to make it,” Owen repeated, squeezing tighter.

  Footsteps stopped behind him, and he looked up to see Kelly standing there with Lindsey behind him. Kelly’s concerned face blurred beyond the sudden flood of tears in his eyes.

  “Is it Chad?” Kelly asked.

  Owen couldn’t answer him. He turned his face into his mother’s neck, his mind racing, his heart aching, his soul completely empty. “He’s going to make it.”

  That was all that mattered to Owen. The shit with his band and with Lindsey—none of it mattered. Getting Chad home alive was all that he cared about.

  “Can we go to Germany and see him?” Owen asked.

  “Once he’s stable they’ll transfer him to a hospital stateside. I should have prayed harder,” Mom said.

  Owen had a ritual where he prayed for Chad’s safe return, so that couldn’t be why his helicopter had crashed. Owen always prayed hard. Every night he prayed for Chad.

  Oh shit. Owen’s heart turned to ice in his chest. “Did you say it happened Monday?”

  “That’s why he never called. He was supposed to call.”

  And that had been the evening Owen had experienced an unshakable feeling of dread. He’d thought it was because Adam had gone missing and Jacob had destroyed the band, but he knew now that was when Chad had been injured, when he’d been fighting to live. And Owen had been so caught up in his own much smaller tragedies that he hadn’t prayed for him that night. He hadn’t prayed.

  “My brave, brave boy,” Mom whimpered. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  The back door banged shut, and Dad called into the house, “Joan? Where are you?”

  “James!” She didn’t get another word out as sobs racked her body. Apparently she’d been holding herself together the best she could for Owen’s benefit.

  Dad ran in, face drawn, hands clenched, his gaze searching the room. “Did the officer leave?”

  “What officer?” Owen asked.

  “The death squad officer!”

  Owen didn’t know if there was such a thing as a death squad officer, but Dad’s meaning was clear. When a soldier was killed in action, a high-ranking uniformed officer delivered the news in person.

  “He’s not dead,” Owen said. And he would not allow himself to even consider the possibility.

  Dad’s sturdy shoulders sagged, and he covered his face with one hand before bending to scoop Mom against him with the other. “Why didn’t you tell me that on the phone? I thought—I thought we’d lost him.”

  “W-wounded,” Mom said, her tears flowing nonstop. “Terribly.”

  Owen couldn’t listen to her tell his father the mortal danger Chad still faced. His heart wouldn’t survive a repeat of those words. He turned and rushed for the door, needing a moment or ten alone so he could collect his thoughts.

  This could not be happening.

  Lindsey caught his arm as he brushed past. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “Fix my brother,” he snapped. “Can you do that?”

  She ducked her head and whispered, “I’m so sorry,” as he pulled free and fled to the front porch, where he stopped short before he careened into Kelly’s back. Kelly was staring out across the front yard, a hand on either hip.

  He turned. Had the tears swimming in Kelly’s eyes not chosen that moment to course down his cheeks, Owen might not have shattered. He covered his mouth with one hand to choke back a sob and found himself crushed in a tight embrace. Kelly’s hand cupped the back of Owen’s head as he held him close. Afraid he’d crumple to the porch, Owen wrapped his arms around Kelly and held on to the solid strength he hadn’t realized he needed from his friend.

  Agony choked him until it burst from him in a sob.

  “He’ll be all right,” Kelly whispered. “You have to believe he’ll be all right.”

  Owen did believe that. He believed it so much that he mentally promised God everything he could think of to make the wish a reality.

  When at last Owen was able to shove his grief into the darkest pit of his soul, he lifted his head and got lost in Kelly’s turbulent gaze. Kelly didn’t drop his arms, didn’t release Owen from his embrace, instead he leaned close—closer still—until his face blurred. Kelly’s lips brushed Owen’s, so feather-light that Owen convinced himself he was imagining his kiss.

  What?

  Kelly groaned, his lips parting as he deepened his claim on Owen’s mouth.

  For a moment, the darkness clouding Owen’s heart dissipated. Every worry vanished. The world outside Kellen’s kiss didn’t exist. Hunger, passion, and a forbidden pleasure centered on Owen’s mouth and spread down his throat and into his chest, forming a shield of trust around his heart. The deep-rooted connection that had always existed between them manifested into physical form. The beauty of it stole Owen’s every thought for one glorious moment.

  But then Kelly pulled away, and the magic shattered.

  Kelly searched Owen’s eyes and said, “I’m sorry.”

  Owen might have understood Kellen’s apology if he hadn’t just been kissed into emotional oblivion, but this was no joke. He could see a change in the way Kelly looked at him, with feelings just realized. Painful, inappropriate feelings.

  Owen was shaking.

  How did Kelly expect him to react? What did he expect him to say? Maybe he wasn’t supposed to do or say anything.

  “Owen,” Kelly said, curving his fingers into Owen’s face and leaning closer. “I’m so sorry.”

  “For what?” Owen asked, confusion hammering at his reeling mind. “For Chad? For doing . . . doing that to me?”

  “I’m not sorry I kissed you. I’m also not sorry I enjoyed it or that you enjoyed it.”

  What? He hadn’t enjoyed it. He’d just . . . He’d needed to feel a deep emotional bond with someone and Caitlyn was back at his place taking a dump.

  Owen shook his head at the lie he was trying to pass over on himself. What he really wished was that Kelly was still kissing him, had never stopped kissing him. While their lips had been pressed together, Owen had felt none of the fear or confusion or anxiety that he felt now. He’d only felt right.

  This could not be happening.

  Kelly pressed his forehead against Owen’s and closed his eyes. Peace stole over Owen for an instant, and then more confusing thoughts bombarded him. What had caused this sudden change between them? The band breaking up? Chad’s horrible situation? Owen’s reaction to it? Something that had happened during Kelly’s weekend with Dawn? What? Why was Kelly acting like this was totally normal? There was nothing normal about this. Nothing!

  “I don’t understand,” Owen mumbled.

  “I am beyond sorry about Chad.”

  Of course he was. Chad was an older brother to both of them—Owen’s by blood, Kelly’s by circumstance.

  “But I’m mostly sorry that I’ve been blind for so long.”

  What?

  “I want you, Owen.”

  Owen stiffened and backed away. Kelly wanted him. Want, not love. What did that mean? He shook his head. What the hell did Kelly mean?

  “Owen?”

  Owen waved him off, unable to meet his eyes. “This cannot be happening.”

  He stumbled backwards down the steps and ran so hard that he was unable to slow his momentum before he slammed into the gate. He