Hallowed Be Thy Name
The train began to slow.
Sunny popped her head up. Outside the window, things looked the same, though she was able to discern the ever-decreasing rate of speed. She tapped Bubba on the ankle. This time he didn’t flinch and look back. He didn’t even move. She grabbed his ankle and shook it. Finally, his head popped up and he looked around, then down at who, or what, had him by the leg. Sunny held her finger in front of her lips, motioning for silence. She pointed to Colby. Bubba looked him over and then back at Sunny. He put his palms together next to his face, indicating Colby was asleep. She shook her hand in the air and Bubba shook Colby’s leg. Colby’s head popped up and he looked back at them. He gave them a sleepy thumbs-up.
Sunny felt better knowing she wasn’t the only one now awake. By the time she’d managed to rouse her companions, the train was easing to a stop. They heard the electrical hum subside and the train sank gently. Both SUVs cranked their ignitions and their engines turned over. A sliver of red light appeared around the inside edges of the nose cone of the train. It grew brighter as the latches popped and the struts attached to the nose pushed it up and open. The SUVs drove out of their box car.
Both vehicles quickly picked up speed and Sunny, Bubba, and Colby all hunkered down as the wind blasted them in the face. A white napkin whipping from Bubba’s back pocket wiggled loose in the airflow and flew backwards, plastering itself against Sunny’s face. She clawed it away and threw it aside.
Bubba wondered for a moment if there were insects in the tunnel, if he had to worry about June bugs or dragonflies smacking him in the face, exploding crunchy green bug guts all over his forehead, or maybe even flying into his mouth, or worse yet, hitting him smack-dab in the eye, putting his eye out. His mother was warning him constantly about putting out an eye, as if he were engaged solely in behavior conducive to the putting out of eyeballs. It was not as if he and Parker still threw darts at each other. In truth, they had only done so on one occasion, the result of which was a dart sticking firmly out of the right side of Bubba’s bottom. With Parker literally on the floor laughing, it had taken Bubba ten minutes to work up the nerve to yank out the dart. That had been their first and last game of Human Dart Board.
The SUVs pitched upward, following the tunnel as it changed angle. Sunny, Bubba, and Colby held firmly to the roof rack.
Before long, the ground leveled out. White light appeared. Whether this represented the end of the tunnel or the headlight of an approaching vehicle, it was too soon to tell.
Sunny, Bubba, and Colby stayed low, watching intently as the light grew larger and brighter. The tunnel around them gradually lost its red hue.
The white light grew larger and brighter, and then larger and brighter still. Sunny struggled to see what lay ahead, her vision obstructed by Bubba craning his neck in front of her, who was craning his neck to see around Colby in front of him.
Both SUVs drove out of the tunnel. The white light, however, was not daylight, for it shone not from the sun but from what looked like a giant light bulb suspended high overhead, surrounded by a ceiling painted the same shade of blue as the sky on a clear day.
Sunny, Bubba, and Colby looked around, mouths open, for they were driving on what appeared to be a perfectly normal city street, replete with a row of buildings on either side, traffic signals, traffic comprised of various types of vehicles, and even pedestrians strolling down the sidewalk on either side of the street. By all appearances, they were driving through the heart of a city, yet they were definitely still underground.
The SUVs wended their way through traffic, turning left here, right there, then going straight ahead for a time before making additional turns. It wasn’t long before Sunny had completely lost track of the way they had come. Bubba glanced over his shoulder at her, his expression conveying a similar sentiment: if they had to get out of wherever they were in a hurry, it wouldn’t be easy.
They drove past shops, restaurants, hotels, office buildings, two hospitals, a fire department and police station, a lot of apartment buildings, even a car dealership. They saw signs for the Quantum Physics Café, the Down Under Day Spa, Chainsaw Charlie’s Steaks & Chops, Big Mama Boron’s Music & Books, even an office with a sign for Dr. Payne’s Extreme Dentistry (at this Bubba and Sunny exchanged worried looks). They drove down streets with names such as Rocket Ship Alley and Pitot Tube Place, Einstein Street, Copernicus Way, and Bare Eyeball Boulevard.
They traversed a bridge spanning a blue river. Lush green trees lined the sidewalks, growing at regular intervals out of large squares of dirt.
A queue of chattering people lined the sidewalk leading to The Globe Movie Theatre with a glowing, neon-lit marquee reading: Double Feature! Go-Boy . . . Forever: The Director’s Cut! & Go-Boy . . . Unleashed! Colby grinned proudly.
Next door to the theater was the Under Ground Coffee Shop, with plenty of outdoor seating and people chatting and enjoying their beverages. On the corner next to the coffee shop was the Sub-Sonic Drive-In & Eatery. It was a perfect reproduction of a 1950s-style drive-in, a piece of vintage Americana. Smiling waitresses in short skirts and checkered blouses whirled about on white roller skates, carrying trays to and from the parked cars full of jubilant guests, all bathed in a rainbow of neon light. Bubba craned his neck toward the drive-in as they passed. The heady aroma of frying French fries and sizzling hamburgers filled the air.
They took a left onto Sweetwater Street. On the corner was Curly’s Not So Newsworthy Stand, a small green building with a red and white striped awning covering rows and rows of magazines and newspapers. The SUVs drove past the newsstand and stopped, pulling over in front a casual-looking office building.
Sunny, Bubba, and Colby lay still, flattening themselves as much as possible against the roof. They heard both engines shut off and then the sounds of doors opening, then closing, followed by footsteps walking away. All three of them peeked up in time to see the men in the dark suits entering the building. Parker accompanied them through the tall, opaque frosted glass doors.
Sunny, Bubba, and Colby slid across the roof of the SUV, swinging their legs over the back. Across the street, the newsstand proprietor looked up from his newspaper. Colby’s shoes touched the ground and he immediately fell down. He looked down at his feet and saw his shoelaces tied together.
“Very funny,” said Colby.
Bubba dropped down to the street, laughing.
Sunny climbed down and saw the man watching them from across the street. He wore a white apron over his pants, a T-shirt and a long gray mustache under his nose. He nodded his head and Sunny, assuming this gentleman to be Curly, waved. Curly calmly went back to his paper.
Colby quickly untied his shoes and retied them correctly. He huddled behind the truck with Sunny and Bubba. “Something tells me we’re not in Kansas, anymore, Toto,” said Colby.
“Oh, don’t say that,” said Sunny.
“What do we do now?” asked Colby.
“Where are we?” asked Bubba.
“The other side of the rainbow?” offered Colby. “‘Auntie Em, Auntie Em, get Toto, it’s a twister, it’s a twister!’ ‘I just want to tell you both: Good Luck; we’re all counting on you.’”
“Enough, already,” said Bubba, “you’re scaring Sunny.”
“I think I’m scaring you,” said Colby.
“I think you need to shut up,” replied Bubba.
“Well, I think—”
“I think you both need to shut up,” hissed Sunny. “This isn’t helping Parker. Now think! What’re we going to do?”
Colby reached down and grabbed the white paper napkins out of Bubba’s back pocket. “Is this your stash of toilet paper?” he asked Bubba, sorting out the napkins.
“No,” answered Bubba, “why? You about to poop your pants?”
“You wish,” said Colby. “Here, take one and do what I do.” He thrust a napkin at each of them. He stood and trotted toward the tall glass doors. Sunny and Bubba followed. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this,” Colby said.
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He pulled the door open and they marched inside.
Chapter 7
Eagles and Ink Pens