Letting Go

shows of affection. He held her hand, put an arm around her or he kissed her, giving others no doubt of his feelings for her.

Any woman would have wanted someone like Carson, and he’d wanted her. Just her. She wasn’t in his league. Didn’t come from his world, though he’d argue that his current circumstances weren’t ones he was born into. His upbringing hadn’t been good. He’d fought for every dollar he earned, the lifestyle he’d claimed. For himself and for Kylie.

His devotion to his family, to both Joss and Kylie, forever endeared Carson to Joss. He was one of a kind. How could she hope to ever find that kind of love and devotion again?

Except here was Dash. All of the things Carson was and yet . . . more. He was too perfect for her. The manifestation of every single fantasy she’d ever entertained. She hadn’t considered that there was a man in existence who could possibly meet her criteria, and yet he did.

“What will your family think?” she asked.

One of the things she and Carson had in common was that neither had family. Except Kylie. And Joss had come to think of her as her own sister. Not just a sister but her best friend. But her father had divorced her mother when Joss was young, and her mother passed away after an extended illness when Joss was still in college. Her mother was why Joss had pursued a degree in nursing.

The nurses in charge of her mother’s care had been wonderful. Compassionate, warm. They’d gone the extra mile to make Joss’s mother as comfortable as possible in her final days, and Joss had vowed she would make the same difference in someone’s life.

Yet she’d quit her job after marrying Carson. At the time she hadn’t minded. She’d been in the throes of a new relationship and utterly confident in their marriage. And the truth was, she’d craved the kind of relationship where she was cared for. Protected. Cherished. Carson had provided all the things she desired. Except dominance.

Perhaps she should consider going back to nursing. She’d kept up her training for that eventuality, but she still hadn’t taken steps to go back to work.

“My family will be very happy for me,” Dash said. “My brothers thought me a fool for waiting as long as I did. They’ve known how I felt about you for a long time. My mother worried for me. She thought I was a fool to have a thing for a married woman. And not just any married woman, but a woman married to my best friend and business partner. Talk about a recipe for disaster,” he said wryly.

“I hope they like me,” Joss whispered.

The idea of meeting his family now made her nervous. Yes, she’d met them in the capacity of Carson’s wife, and they had embraced them both. But she’d never known that they knew Dash had feelings for her, and now she’d be meeting them as Dash’s . . . lover? Someone they knew was important to him. That changed everything. She just hoped she measured up and they accepted her new role in Dash’s life.

Dash smoothed the hair from her brow and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “They’ll love you. And they’ll be thrilled that we’re finally together.”

He made it sound so . . . final. A done deal. Inevitable. Though they hadn’t talked about anything more serious than a sexual relationship and the fact that she would submit to him, but his actions, the way he spoke, hinted at something far more permanent.

She wasn’t certain how she felt about that. What if she was setting herself up for more hurt?

Chessy had asked her if she’d rather have one perfect year with Dash and then lose him or if she’d prefer not to even give them a chance. At the time she’d considered that any time she had with him would be worth it no matter the end result. Much like her time with Carson. She wouldn’t go back and change a single thing, even knowing she’d only have him for three years. Three of the best years of her life.

But now? She wondered if she’d been wrong to think that any time with him was preferable to none at all. It had taken her three years to put herself back together after losing Carson. Could she survive losing someone she loved a second time? And for that matter, how did she feel about Dash?

She wasn’t in love with him. Not yet. It was too soon. Her feelings confused her. She wasn’t sure what to make of the entire situation. It had happened too quickly. So much had changed in such a short period of time and she couldn’t afford to let her emotions rule her actions. Not only did she not want to get hurt, but she didn’t want to hurt Dash either.

“I know I said I wanted to meet Jensen soon, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer to wait on your family awhile.”

He smiled tenderly, pressing tiny kisses to her face, eyes and nose.

“We have all the time in the world, Joss. No rush. I like the idea of having you to myself for a while before I have to share you with others.”

She yawned and snuggled closer to him, as close as she could manage with their wrists bound together. On impulse, she kissed the side of his neck, inhaling his masculine scent and savoring it.

So many nights she’d spent alone, aching, so very empty. And now she was in bed with Dash, and he was wrapped possessively around her, his leg thrown over hers. She could feel his erection, his quick intake of breath when her teeth grazed his neck. She barely had time to wonder if he planned to deny himself when suddenly she was turned, the hand that was tied to his yanked high over her head.

With none of his earlier patience or tenderness, he roughly spread her legs with his free hand and was inside her, hard and deep, before she could even take a breath.

Pleasure burst over her like an exploding firework. She was too stunned to cry out, to give voice to the overwhelming sensation of him being so hard and thick inside her.

“This time is for me,” he growled as he pumped into her. “You make me crazy, Joss. I swore I wouldn’t take you again tonight. That I’d take things slow. But your mouth on my neck broke every ounce of my restraint.”

She smiled but her vision was hazy. All she could do was feel the power of his movements. His ownership of her body. Her bound hand was pressed firmly into the pillows. He held her down, making movement impossible. And she didn’t care. She loved the vulnerability of her position. She loved knowing she was powerless as he slaked his lust. It excited her, bringing her closer to the edge.

No foreplay. No workup. And yet she was already precariously close to coming. All he had to do was touch her, exert his dominance, and she was his to command.

“So damn sweet,” he muttered, his face strained as he pounded into her, mindlessly, like a rutting beast in the throes of mating. “I’ve dreamed of this, Joss. Of you. And me. Together. Finally together. I’ll never let you go, honey. I hope to hell you’re prepared for that. If you ever try to walk away from me, I’ll fight like hell to keep you right where you belong.”

She arched upward, wanting, needing more, desperate for release. Her skin itched, like it was alive. Edgy. Bordering on pain.

His impassioned statement spoke to the very heart of her. Soothed every fear. He made her feel cherished and . . . loved. And she hadn’t felt loved and adored in so very long.

Even though he’d said that this time was about him, he slid his fingers between them, finding and stroking her clit. She went wet around him, her entire body tightening, clenching with agonizing need.

“Get there,” he commanded. “Come for me, Joss. Now.”

To her utter surprise, her body obeyed him. She was helpless to do anything but obey him. She hadn’t thought she was there yet. Almost but not quite. But the moment the forceful command was given, she began coming. Wave after wave washed over her, spreading throughout her body until she felt nothing but the sweetest of pleasures.

He spurted deep inside her, filling her with his liquid heat. For several moments, the only sound that could be heard was the slap of flesh against flesh and their ragged breaths spilling from their mouths.

And then he lowered himself to her body, panting with exertion. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead to hers, his nostrils flaring as he sought to catch his breath.

When he withdrew only an inch, she moaned softly. The sound was part pleasure and part pain. She was deliciously sore in places she hadn’t used in a long time. Her entire body tingled in the aftermath of her orgasm. Her clit throbbed, a tiny pulse point between her legs.

“I should clean us up,” he murmured. “But I don’t want to untie you from me nor do I want to withdraw from your body just yet. I like it here. You connected to me not only by being tied, but me deep inside you for as long as I can remain there.”

She wrapped her free arm around him, rubbing her palm over his buttocks and back.

“I like it too,” she whispered. “We can always change the sheets in the morning, right?”

He smiled and kissed her lips, the soft smooching sound echoing in the room.

“I’m going to roll us over so you’re on top. There’s nothing more I’d like than for you to sleep draped across me. I wouldn’t normally stay hard enough to stay inside a woman this long, but I swear, honey, you so much as breathe and I get hard and stay that way. I just had the two most earth-shattering orgasms of my life and I’m still hard as a stone.”

“I like you inside me,” she said shyly.

“It’s a damn good thing because I intend to spend a hell of a lot of time inside you from now on.”





FIFTEEN





JOSS came awake, violently aroused, her body responding, even in the deep sleep she’d fallen into. Dash was over her, their hands unbound, both of his framing her hips as he plunged deeply inside her.

She gasped, her eyes flying open to see his glittering gaze boring into hers. His expression was intense, his jaw tight as he thrust again and again.

“Good morning,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss her.

“Ugh, morning breath,” she said, twisting her lips to the side so he wouldn’t taste her unbrushed teeth.

He laughed and forced her mouth back to his. “You taste wonderful, Joss. You have nothing to worry about there. Get used to it, because the hell I’m going to wait to have you each morning until you’ve done all your girly preparation.”

He withdrew and she would have protested, but he quickly flipped her over so she was facedown on the mattress. God, he was demanding. So forceful. She loved every second of it.

Reaching beneath her, he lifted her behind just enough that he could plunge back into her from behind. Her fingers curled into the sheets, making tight fists as he rode her roughly, pressing her further into the mattress.

He was deeper, bigger this way. He filled her to capacity, stretching her, the sensation an exquisite mix of pleasure and edgy pain. She closed her eyes, giving herself over to the sensation, to him. She surrendered completely, allowing him to take his pleasure however he wanted.

His palms cupped her ass, molding the cheeks and caressing as he spread her wider before thrusting again. His thumb brushed over the seam of her ass and she shivered as dark thoughts overtook her.

She and Carson had never tried anal sex. Would it be something Dash wanted? The thought didn’t frighten her. If anything, it aroused her even more, and she was already nearly out of her mind with pleasure.

As if reading the unspoken question, Dash leaned down, blanketing her with his body, stilling his movements so he was buried deep inside her. He kissed her shoulder and then nipped a line up the curve of her neck until she shuddered.

“I’ll have your ass, Joss. Make no mistake about it. I’ll have every part of you and you’ll hold nothing back from me. I own you now. You’re mine.”

The words sent her hurtling straight over the edge. Sex was much more about the mind, at least for women. Desire started in the brain. Her body merely followed suit. And with those words, she was violently aroused. It was too much. Her orgasm flashed, bright and burning hot. She bucked upward, desperate for more. She wanted it hard, deep and fast.

“My darling likes that,” Dash murmured even as he powered into her, as fast and as hard as she needed so desperately.

She wilted into the mattress, her strength gone, her mind complete and utter mush. He wasn’t finished yet and he took his time, teasing and tormenting her hypersensitive flesh. He dragged his cock through swollen tissues and then plunged forward again until finally he found his own release, straining forward, covering her body with his own.

When he was finished, he lowered his full weight to her body, pressing her down onto the bed. She could feel the sharp rise and fall of his chest as he sought to catch his breath. And he was still pulsing in her pussy.

“Did I hurt you?” he murmured against her neck.

She tried to shake her head but couldn’t move.

“No,” she whispered. “It was wonderful, Dash.”

He remained there a moment longer before finally pushing upward. Then he withdrew, her body still clutching greedily at him as he pulled free.

He pressed a kiss to the small of her back and then got up from the bed. She didn’t have time to turn over before he gathered her in his arms and picked her up, carrying her toward the bathroom.

He turned the shower on and after testing the temperature, he pulled her inside with him where he proceeded to wash every inch of her body. It was torment. He paid extra special attention to the still-quivering flesh between her legs. He had her worked up and well on her way to another orgasm by the time he washed and rinsed her hair.

“On your knees,” he said gruffly.

She obeyed instantly, lowering herself to the wet floor of the shower. The warm spray cascaded over both of them. His cock was painfully erect, huge and stiff.

“Get me off, Joss,” he commanded. “But I want you to get yourself off too. Touch yourself. But don’t come until I do. If you do, you’ll be punished.”

She shivered at the authority in his voice. It was almost worth it to disobey him just to find out what his punishment would entail. Did that make her an idiot? But no. She didn’t want to start off by blatantly disobeying him. She didn’t want punishment. She wanted pleasure. And he’d already said that he would spank her regardless of whether she disobeyed him or not.

He guided his erection to her lips and she slid her fingers down her belly between her legs to find her clit. Her entire body clenched the moment she touched herself and she knew she’d have to be careful or she would end up coming before he did.

“I’ve dreamed about this,” he breathed. “Your gorgeous mouth wrapped around my dick.”

She glanced up, taken by the sight of him naked, wet, water beading and running down his beautiful body. He looked like a god. Utterly perfect. Muscled, lean in all the right places. Not a spare ounce of flesh. He was a man who took excellent care of his body.

She tightened the suction around his cock, enjoying the instant reaction she got. Though he was in command and she was the submissive, she realized how much power she truly had. She liked that feeling. That she held him in the palm of her hand and that she was in control of his pleasure.

Warming to the task at hand, she made love to his cock, savoring the taste and feel of him in her mouth. Hot, so alive, pulsing with strength. He could so easily hurt her, but he was so careful to temper his power. His touch was tender, his movements weighed with her protection in mind.

“I’m close, honey. You need to get there too.”

She found her sweet spot, exerting just the right amount of pressure, and then moved in a slow circle, her orgasm rising and swelling deep in her belly. But still she waited. Remembering his directive that she not come until he did.

He palmed her forehead and then reached with his other hand to grasp the base of his cock.

“Take it one more time. Deep, honey. Take it deep. And then I’m going to pull out and come all over your mouth.”

The erotic words, the image he inspired, nearly had her coming. Her hand froze, leaving her dangling precariously on the edge. She sucked him deep, taking him all the way to the back of her throat, and she swallowed against the tip, thinking it would bring him pleasure.

His groan told her she wasn’t wrong. And then suddenly he ripped himself from her mouth and began pumping his cock with his fist.

“Come, Joss.”

His command was guttural, as though he could barely form the words. The first jet of semen hit her cheek. The second splashed over her lips and the third hit her chin. Hot, much hotter than the water. It scalded her skin and she rolled her clit harder and faster, trying to catch up.

As the last jet of semen hit her chin and rolled down her neck, quickly washed away by the spray of the shower, her orgasm rocked her to the core. Her knees gave out and she would have slipped but Dash looped his hands underneath her armpits and held her steady as she quivered and shuddered with her own release.

Gently he pulled her to her feet, supporting her weight until he was certain she was steady. Then he turned her into the spray, rinsing his cum from her body.

The heat of the shower combined with the earth-shattering orgasm she’d experienced left her shaky. He helped her from the stall and then wrapped her in a huge towel. He briskly dried her hair and then made certain he removed the moisture from other parts of her body.

When he was done, he dropped a kiss on her forehead and patted her gently on the behind.

“Dry your hair and comb it out while I go prepare breakfast. Normally, I’ll tend to all your needs. It will give me great pleasure to dry and brush your hair for you. But I’m sure you’re hungry, as am I. But wear nothing, Joss. We’ll eat in the living room with you at my feet.”

She hesitated, wondering if her question would anger him.

He glanced curiously at her, cocking his head to the side. Then he cupped her cheek and kissed her lips.

“What is it, honey? I can tell you want to ask. You never have to be afraid to ask me anything. I want you to trust me and be confident in me—us. So ask what it is I can see you’re dying to ask.”

She smiled ruefully. “I was just . . . nervous. I mean you said you wanted me to wear nothing, but isn’t Jensen coming over today? Will you expect me to wear nothing when people are over?”

Color flooded her cheeks and she ducked her head. She wanted this to work. She liked this side of Dash she’d never imagined. The forceful, dominant, utterly alpha male. She’d never felt so . . . free . . . in her life, which sounded absurd given that she’d ceded absolute power and control to another man. She should feel constrained. Confined. But she felt as though she’d finally set free a side of herself that she’d always longed to let loose. Now that she’d tasted Dash’s dominance, she had no desire to go back to her stale, sterile existence of the last three years.

Dash’s expression became utterly serious. He framed her face in his hands, forcing her to look directly into his eyes.

“I would never do anything that embarrasses or shames you, honey. Never. Yes, when we’re alone, I absolutely expect you to wear whatever I tell you. But I would never put you in a position where you weren’t comfortable. If we go to The House, yes, you will absolutely heed my instructions in a public setting, and you will be naked in front of others. But not here in my—our—home. This is your sanctuary and it’s the one place above all others where you will feel safe and protected at all times. Nothing touches you here, Joss. Nothing but me.”

“Thank you,” she said in a shaky voice.

He leaned down and kissed her, slipping his tongue inside to taste her.

“Now, dry your hair and then come into the living room so I can feed my woman.”

She smiled, a ridiculous thrill coursing through her veins at his words. My woman. Like she belonged to him. And she did even if it was still hard for her to comprehend.

“I want this to work,” she said fiercely, surprising herself with the vehemence of her statement.

“It will work,” Dash said firmly. “We’ve overcome the most difficult part. Making the decision to gift me with your submission was the hard part, honey. The rest you just have to leave to me and trust that I’ll provide you all the things you want and need. And I’ll do that, Joss, or die trying.”

She flinched at the statement even though she knew it was just a figure of speech.

Regret simmered in his eyes and his expression softened.

“I’m sorry, honey. That was not well done of me. It won’t happen again.”

She reached for his hand and slid it around to her lips. She pressed a kiss into his palm and then stared back up at him, smiling. “I know. And I’ll try not to be so sensitive. You shouldn’t have to watch your every word for fear of hurting me. I’ll work on it, Dash. I promise. It’s just that the thought of losing you too . . .”

He hugged her to him and she hugged back, savoring the closeness, the intimacy that was still new and shiny.

“You won’t lose me, Joss. Believe that.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

Even as she agreed, she whispered a prayer that things would work out and that nothing ever happened to Dash. She couldn’t survive it again. Once had nearly destroyed her. If something ever happened to Dash, she wouldn’t survive this time.





SIXTEEN





JOSS reclined onto the sofa, taking the glass of wine Dash offered her. She sipped, her stomach churning with nervousness. It was silly to be so anxious to