The Larsen Sisters 4: Tears in Heaven

“Fine. Let’s watch.” And we all smiled and curled up on the sofa.਍ഀ

  ***਍ഀ

  “Hello, babies, I’m home…” I said as I came inside the house later that evening. Kurt ran to me and I hugged him and Mark brought the twins up to me, as well.਍ऀᰀ䠠攀礀☀ᴠ†䤀 琀漀氀搀 栀椀洀 愀猀 眀攀 欀椀猀猀攀搀⸀ഀ

  “Hey,” He touched my forehead, “Good day?”਍ऀ䤀 渀漀搀搀攀搀 洀礀 栀攀愀搀⸀ ᰀ䤠 戀漀甀最栀琀 猀漀洀攀 䈀愀爀渀攀礀 䐀嘀䐀ᤀ猠☀夠漀甀 眀愀渀渀愀 眀愀琀挀栀㼀ᴀഠ

  “Oh, mommy wants to watch Barney…” Mark told the kids.਍ऀᰀ夠愀礀 䈀愀爀渀攀礀℀ᴀ†䴀愀爀挀椀愀 攀砀挀氀愀椀洀攀搀 椀渀 栀攀爀 挀甀琀攀Ⰰ 琀眀漀 愀渀搀 愀 栀愀氀昀ⴀ礀攀愀爀 漀氀搀 瘀漀椀挀攀⸀ഀ

  I laughed. Mark helped me set up the DVD player and then…and then I felt dizzy, like I wasn’t stepping on anything….like everything became blurry…and then it all went pitch black. And I fell.਍ഀ

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  ਍㠀ഀ

  ਍倀攀漀瀀氀攀 搀漀 渀漀琀 氀椀瘀攀 渀漀眀愀搀愀礀猀 ⴀ 琀栀攀礀 最攀琀 愀戀漀甀琀 琀攀渀 瀀攀爀挀攀渀琀 漀甀琀 漀昀 氀椀昀攀⸀ ጀ䤠猀愀搀漀爀愀 䐀甀渀挀愀渀ഀ

  ਍ഀ

  I had a dream.਍䤀渀 洀礀 搀爀攀愀洀Ⰰ 洀礀 最爀愀渀搀洀漀琀栀攀爀Ⰰ 洀礀 昀愀琀栀攀爀ᤀ猠 洀漀洀Ⰰ 洀礀 昀愀瘀漀爀椀琀攀 瀀攀爀猀漀渀 椀渀 琀栀攀 眀栀漀氀攀 眀漀爀氀搀 眀愀猀 愀氀椀瘀攀⸀ 䤀渀 洀礀 搀爀攀愀洀Ⰰ 䤀 眀愀猀 愀爀漀甀渀搀 琀攀渀Ⰰ 猀椀琀琀椀渀最 椀渀 栀攀爀 氀愀瀀Ⰰ 眀栀椀氀攀 猀栀攀 眀愀猀 猀琀爀漀欀椀渀最 洀礀 栀愀椀爀⸀ 䤀 氀漀瘀攀搀 洀礀 最爀愀渀搀洀愀⸀ 匀栀攀 眀愀猀 洀礀 爀攀昀甀最攀Ⰰ 洀礀 戀攀猀琀昀爀椀攀渀搀⸀ 匀栀攀 琀漀漀欀 琀椀洀攀 琀漀 爀攀愀搀 洀攀 猀琀漀爀椀攀猀 眀栀攀渀 洀礀 瀀愀爀攀渀琀猀 眀攀爀攀 愀氀眀愀礀猀 愀琀 眀漀爀欀㬀 匀栀攀 琀漀漀欀 琀椀洀攀 琀漀 琀愀欀攀 洀攀 瀀氀愀挀攀猀Ⰰ 眀栀攀渀 渀漀 漀渀攀 眀愀渀琀攀搀 琀漀⸀ 匀栀攀 甀渀搀攀爀猀琀漀漀搀 洀攀Ⰰ 攀瘀攀渀 眀栀攀渀 䤀 搀椀搀渀ᤀ琠 甀渀搀攀爀猀琀愀渀搀 洀礀猀攀氀昀⸀ഀ

  In my dream, we were talking. I was wearing the Yellow puffy dress I loved wearing as a kid. She was holding me.਍ᰀ圠栀愀琀 搀漀 礀漀甀 眀愀渀琀 琀漀 戀攀 眀栀攀渀 礀漀甀 最爀漀眀 甀瀀㼀ᴀ†匀栀攀 愀猀欀攀搀⸀ഀ

  “I wanna be a doctor,” I answered, “Or a lawyer!”਍匀栀攀 氀愀甀最栀攀搀Ⰰ ᰀ䬠椀洀洀椀攀Ⰰ 琀栀漀猀攀 愀爀攀 琀眀漀 瘀攀爀礀 搀椀昀昀攀爀攀渀琀 琀栀椀渀最猀⸀ 䄀氀琀栀漀甀最栀 琀栀攀礀 戀漀琀栀 椀渀瘀漀氀瘀攀 愀 氀漀琀 漀昀 栀愀爀搀 眀漀爀欀⸀ 䄀渀搀 氀漀琀猀 漀昀 礀攀愀爀猀 椀渀 猀琀甀搀礀椀渀最℀ᴀഠ

  “I read about that,” I said, adjusting my glasses, “I also want to be a ballerina.”਍匀栀攀 猀洀椀氀攀搀Ⰰ ᰀ夠漀甀 愀爀攀 愀 最爀攀愀琀 搀愀渀挀攀爀⸀ 䤀琀 挀漀甀氀搀 栀愀瀀瀀攀渀⸀ᴀഠ

  “But mom always said you can’t live on dancing alone…”਍匀栀攀 氀愀甀最栀攀搀Ⰰ ᰀ䤠 搀愀渀挀攀搀 昀漀爀 焀甀椀琀攀 愀 眀栀椀氀攀 眀栀攀渀 䤀 眀愀猀 礀漀甀渀最攀爀⸀ 䄀渀搀 䤀 眀愀猀 栀愀瀀瀀礀⸀ᴀ†匀栀攀 猀洀椀氀攀搀⸀ഀ

  “Really?”਍ᰀ删攀愀氀氀礀⸀ᴀഠ

  I smiled, twirling my hair, “But I think I’ll grow up to be like them…I will take over the company.”਍ᰀ传栀Ⰰ 栀漀渀攀礀Ⰰ 眀栀礀 眀漀甀氀搀 礀漀甀 眀愀渀渀愀 戀攀 氀椀欀攀 琀栀攀洀㼀ᴀഠ

  “Because they have good lives!” I answered. “What about you, nana? What did you wanna be?”਍匀栀攀 猀洀椀氀攀搀⸀ 䄀 猀氀漀眀Ⰰ 眀椀猀琀昀甀氀 猀洀椀氀攀Ⰰ ᰀ䤠 眀愀渀琀攀搀 琀漀 戀攀 栀愀瀀瀀礀⸀ᴀഠ

  “Happy? Is that even a dream?”਍匀栀攀 氀愀甀最栀攀搀Ⰰ ᰀ䬠椀洀洀椀攀Ⰰ 琀栀愀琀ᤀ猠 眀栀愀琀 攀瘀攀爀礀漀渀攀 眀愀渀琀猀⸀ 䈀甀琀 渀漀琀 攀瘀攀爀礀漀渀攀 最攀琀猀 琀漀 戀攀☀ᴠഠ

  I was silent for a while, and then, “Are you happy?”਍匀栀攀 眀愀猀 最漀渀渀愀 漀瀀攀渀 栀攀爀 洀漀甀琀栀⸀ 䄀渀搀 琀栀攀渀 䤀 眀漀欀攀 甀瀀⸀ഀ

  ਍⨀⨀⨀ഀ

  ਍䤀 栀攀愀爀搀 洀礀 洀漀琀栀攀爀ᤀ猠 瘀漀椀挀攀⸀ ഀ

  “She’s this worse and you didn’t even tell us?” She said.਍ᰀ䴠漀洀Ⰰ 挀愀氀洀 搀漀眀渀᐀ᰠ†䰀攀椀最栀 猀愀椀搀⸀ഀ

  “Calm down?” My mom said, “How can I calm down when I know my daughter’s in danger and you, my other daughters didn’t even tell me?”਍ᰀ䴠漀洀Ⰰ 礀漀甀 欀渀漀眀 栀漀眀 䬀椀洀 挀愀渀 戀攀᐀ᰠ†䌀愀爀漀氀椀渀攀 琀漀氀搀 栀攀爀⸀ഀ

  “And you girls know that this will break me,” She said, “Or maybe you don’t. Maybe, because I haven’t been the perfect mother, you’re thinking that I don’t care! Well, I do!”਍ᰀ䈠愀爀戀愀爀愀Ⰰ 猀琀漀瀀᐀ᰠ†䤀 栀攀愀爀搀 洀礀 昀愀琀栀攀爀 猀愀礀⸀ 䠀攀 洀甀猀琀 戀攀 眀椀琀栀 栀椀猀 最椀爀氀昀爀椀攀渀搀Ⰰ 䐀愀渀愀⸀ 䤀 挀漀甀氀搀渀ᤀ琠 猀攀攀 琀栀攀洀 挀氀攀愀爀氀礀⸀ഀ

  “No, you all stop! You’re all acting like saints and what am I? The stupid, crazy mother? I love Kim!”਍ᰀ䴠漀ⴀ洀漀洀☀ᴠ†䤀 猀愀椀搀⸀ 䤀 眀愀猀 猀琀爀甀最最氀椀渀最⸀ 圀栀礀 眀愀猀 䤀 猀琀爀甀最最氀椀渀最㼀ഀ

  “Kim?” She said and ran to my bed. “My girl…”਍ᰀ䴠漀洀☀ᴠഠ

  “Call the nurse!” Dad told my sisters.਍䄀渀搀 琀栀攀渀 䤀 搀爀椀昀琀攀搀 漀昀昀 琀漀 猀氀攀攀瀀 愀最愀椀渀⸀ഀ

  ਍⨀⨀⨀ഀ

  “Gran?” I said. Everything was luminous. Was I dreaming? Or was I dead? Who knew?਍ᰀ䠠漀渀攀礀Ⰰ 礀漀甀 愀爀攀 最攀琀琀椀渀最 爀攀猀琀氀攀猀猀⸀ᴀ†匀栀攀 琀漀氀搀 洀攀⸀ 䤀渀 琀栀椀猀 搀爀攀愀洀Ⰰ 䜀爀愀渀 氀漀漀欀攀搀 栀愀瀀瀀礀⸀ 倀攀愀挀攀昀甀氀Ⰰ 攀瘀攀渀⸀ 匀栀攀 栀愀搀 琀栀愀琀 戀攀愀甀琀椀昀甀氀 猀洀椀氀攀 漀渀 栀攀爀 昀愀挀攀Ⰰ 漀渀攀 䤀ᤀ搠 愀氀眀愀礀猀 眀愀渀琀攀搀 琀漀 栀愀瘀攀⸀ഀ

  “Can I just…Can I stay here with you?”਍ᰀ丠漀Ⰰᴀ†匀栀攀 猀愀椀搀Ⰰ ᰀ䄠琀 氀攀愀猀琀 渀漀琀 礀攀琀⸀ᴀഠ

  “Why? You seem happy.”਍ᰀ䌠栀椀氀搀Ⰰ 椀琀ᤀ猠 猀琀椀氀氀 戀攀琀琀攀爀 椀昀 礀漀甀 最攀琀 琀漀 戀攀 栀愀瀀瀀礀 眀栀攀渀 礀漀甀 眀攀爀攀 愀氀椀瘀攀Ⰰ 琀漀漀☀ᴠഠ

  “Were you?”਍吀栀攀爀攀 眀愀猀 愀 氀漀渀最 瀀愀甀猀攀⸀ 匀栀攀 氀漀漀欀攀搀 愀琀 洀攀 琀栀漀甀最栀琀昀甀氀氀礀Ⰰ 瀀攀渀猀椀瘀攀氀礀⸀ഀ

  “Were you happy?” I asked again.਍ᰀ夠攀猀Ⰰᴀ†匀栀攀 猀愀椀搀Ⰰ ᰀ䴠愀礀戀攀 渀漀琀 昀漀爀 洀礀 眀栀漀氀攀 氀椀昀攀Ⰰ 戀甀琀 䤀 眀愀猀⸀ᴀഠ

  “Because you’re rich and you had everything you wanted and you married grandpa?”਍ᰀ
䈠攀挀愀甀猀攀 䤀 洀愀爀爀椀攀搀 礀漀甀爀 最爀愀渀搀瀀愀Ⰰ 礀攀猀⸀ᴀ†匀栀攀 猀愀椀搀Ⰰ ᰀ䈠甀琀 渀漀琀 戀攀挀愀甀猀攀 䤀 眀愀猀 爀椀挀栀⸀ 䤀昀 愀渀礀琀栀椀渀最Ⰰ 琀栀愀琀 眀愀猀 愀 瀀爀漀戀氀攀洀⸀ᴀഠ

  “Being rich was a problem,