A Baxter Family Christmas

  Jessie’s cookies were proof.

  Love like this was part of their story of redemption. No matter what happened, as long as they had each other, they would still be Baxters.

  And they would be fine.

  They headed to the kitchen where Brooke and Peter and their girls were helping Elaine set the two tables. Dayne and Katy and their kids would arrive in twenty minutes.

  “Has anyone heard from Luke and Reagan?” Ashley was walking down the stairs with Landon at her side. “He should be here about the same time as Dayne and Katy.”

  The others stopped for a moment and looked at each other. John was the first to speak. “Luke’s coming?”

  “He didn’t want to miss being with the whole family.” Ashley paused at the bottom of the stairs and then crossed through the group to John. “We’re staying, too, Daddy.” She looked back at the kids. “You were right.” She stared into his eyes. “Amy wanted to meet Kendra. So now we all want to meet her.”

  John couldn’t believe it. Earlier today he had been sure he’d made a mess of Christmas. And now . . . now they would have the Christmas Eve he’d prayed for. The one he’d dreamed about.

  They all surrounded John for a group hug, just as his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket. It was Luke. “Hello?”

  “Dad!” The connection was fuzzy. “We’re stuck in this snowstorm about twenty miles from Bloomington. Can’t see a thing.”

  The warm feeling from a moment ago was immediately gone. “Are you safe? You and Reagan and the kids?”

  The others gradually backed up, giving him space to talk.

  It seemed like Luke had to yell to be heard. “We’re safe for now in the car. But the traffic isn’t moving. The way it’s snowing . . . snowdrift.” Static sounded over the line. Luke mentioned a mile-marker number. “We might . . . be stuck for a while.”

  John refused to acknowledge the panic that rushed at him. “Stay in the car. I’ll make some phone calls.” John wanted to get in his truck and find them. Instead he told Luke the family would pray.

  The doorbell rang as John hung up the phone, his focus entirely on Luke and Reagan and the kids. Kari answered the door and there, standing outside in the snow, were Kendra Bryant and her husband, Moe. The man who wasn’t supposed to join her. Whatever had happened between them he was here now.

  “Hi.” Kari was the first to step up and hug her. “You must be Kendra.”

  “Yes.” She removed her snowy coat and the man beside her did the same. Ryan took both coats and hung them on a rack near the front door. Kendra looked at the man beside her. “This is Moe, my husband.”

  John hadn’t been sure what Kendra would look like. He almost expected her to look like Erin. But she was taller, more slender with dark hair and pretty dark eyes. She looked younger than John had anticipated. And shaky, nervous.

  As deep as his emotions were in this moment, hers had to be equally intense.

  John stepped up to her. “Kendra.” He took hold of her hands. “I’m John Baxter.”

  “Hi, John.” And then it happened. The hug John had thought about for the last few years.

  He didn’t hold on too long, didn’t want to make Kendra feel uncomfortable. But her heart was beating hard, and in that short embrace, he felt it against his chest. The heartbeat he had first felt when Erin was a baby. The one he felt on her wedding day, moments before he walked her down the aisle.

  The steady, strong, beautiful heartbeat of his youngest daughter.

  John stepped back, practically dizzy from the reality. Erin’s heart was right here, in the same room with them. Ashley hugged Kendra next and then she introduced Kendra and Moe to the others.

  When it came time for Amy’s introduction, Ashley hesitated. “This is Amy.”

  Kendra seemed to know immediately that Amy wasn’t like the other children. Her smile faded some. “Hello, Amy.” The two of them remained several feet apart. “Maybe we can talk later, okay?”

  “Okay.” Amy clung to Janessa near the back of the group of kids. Her eyes were wide, like she was scared or maybe because she simply didn’t know what to do next.

  Ashley didn’t let the moment become awkward. She continued through the room introducing each of her siblings, their spouses, and their kids.

  “There’s even more of us still coming,” Cole added when Ashley reached the end. “But don’t worry. We won’t test you later.”

  Kendra laughed, and the sound seemed to give the others permission to relax. They’d gotten past the newness and strangeness of the situation. John hoped now they could enjoy the dinner celebration and focus on Christmas.

  John felt Elaine come alongside him and put her arm around his waist.

  She looked at the group. “Let’s move into the kitchen. I have hot tea on the stove.”

  Katy and Dayne and their kids arrived a few minutes later and John held up his hand. “I just got a text from Luke. They’re still stuck in the snow on the interstate. He asked if we’d pray for them.”

  John was sure everyone was struggling not to think about Erin and Sam’s accident, how they had been stopped on the highway when a semitruck crashed into them. John refused to think about it. Instead, he held out his hands and with practiced ease the family circled up.

  Kendra and Moe drew back, giving the family their space. John motioned to them. “You can join us. You’re part of the family tonight.”

  The two of them looked at each other, and Moe made the first move, stepping slowly into the circle. Kendra did the same, and they waited, clearly unsure about what was happening.

  “Hey! This reminds me of the Grinch cartoon.” Devin whispered loud enough for most of them to hear. “Christmastime is in our grasp . . . so long as we have hands to clasp.”

  The boy’s words held a wisdom that settled over the room. John led the prayer. “Lord, we ask you for a Christmas miracle tonight. That you would help Luke and Reagan and the kids find their way out of the snow. That they would feel Your presence right now, Father. Please rescue them, that they might be here where we are. And please keep them safe. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  John called the local highway patrol and asked about the safety of people stuck on the road. “All traffic is stopped,” an officer told him. “We’re doing our best to get to everyone, but the storm came up faster than we expected.”

  The information left John feeling anxious. But thirty minutes later, when they were getting settled at the two long tables in the dining room, the doorbell rang again. John felt his heart jump. But then, from outside on the doorstep, muffled by the blizzard, he heard the sound of singing.

  “We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas . . . and a happy New Year!”

  By the time John rushed to the door, half his family had hurried in behind him. As he opened it, there was Luke, one arm around Reagan, the other around Malin. Tommy and Johnny stood on either side, and though the wind was blowing snow in their hair and onto their coats, they had never looked happier.

  At the same instant, they switched up their song. Luke led the group. “We’ll be home for Christmas . . . you can count on us!”

  John pulled his son into the house and hugged him for a long time. “You’re here!”

  “It was the craziest thing.” Luke took off his coat and hung it up, and the rest of his family did the same. “We were stuck in a snowdrift so high . . . I thought it might be two days before we got out.”

  “Definitely.” Reagan’s eyes showed the depth of her concern. “And then all the sudden this snowplow came from out of nowhere.”

  “This man gets out and knocks on Dad’s window.” Tommy was clearly still so excited about what happened, his words ran together.

  Luke nodded. “Exactly. He told me his name was Jag. Interesting name, right? Anyway, he said he would clear the way for me, and to just trust him.”

  “You forgot the other part, Daddy.” Malin tugged on his shoulder. “About Jesus.”

/>   “Right.” Luke shook his head. “That was the most amazing thing. First words he says when I opened the window were ‘Do you believe in Jesus?’ ”

  “We said, ‘Yes, of course.’ ” Reagan locked eyes with Luke. “That’s when the man said he was going to clear the way.”

  Luke went on to explain how the man plowed the shoulder so that Luke could get traction as he drove out of the snowbank. “After a few miles, the storm let up and the road ahead was clear.”

  “But we never saw where the snowplow went.” Tommy looked at his cousins and then at Luke. “Right, Dad?”

  “Right.” Luke shrugged. “Like one minute we were following him through the thickest snow I’ve ever seen. And the next thing we know he’s gone. Vanished.”

  Chills ran down John’s arms. “When was that?”

  Reagan checked the time on her phone. “Maybe thirty minutes ago.”

  For several seconds, the others just looked at each other. Kendra spoke first. “That’s exactly when we held hands and prayed.” She looked at Moe. “It was, right?”

  “Definitely.” Elaine checked her phone. “I texted Reagan after we prayed. It must’ve happened right after that.”

  Reagan had tears in her eyes. “God must’ve wanted us here. With all of you.”

  At that point, Luke took a few steps toward Kendra Bryant. “I’m Luke. Erin’s youngest brother.”

  “I’m Kendra.”

  John watched, amazed at the change in Luke. He had definitely wanted to avoid a moment like this. But now here he was extending kindness to Kendra the way John had hoped.

  “My dad told us Erin would’ve wanted this. For us to meet you and see for ourselves the difference her life meant.”

  “I believe that, too.” For the first time since she walked through the front door, John watched Kendra blink back tears as she leaned against her husband. Then she looked around the room at the others. Each of them one at a time. “I was going to wait and say this later. When we open presents. But I need to say it now, before another minute passes.”

  John felt his throat tighten. He had known this moment was coming, and that it would be hard for all of them.

  “A few years ago I got sick. My heart took the worst of my illness and there was no cure.” She pressed in toward her husband. “Without a new heart, I would be dead by now.”

  Two tears slid down John’s face. Around the room he could see the others crying, too. Even a few of the older grandchildren. Standing across from Kendra, Ashley hugged Amy close.

  Kendra continued. “But there was a problem. If I was going to live, someone else would have to die.”

  Moe cleared his throat. “She almost didn’t put her name on the list. For that reason.”

  “I couldn’t stand the thought that I might get to live, but someone else wouldn’t.” She looked at Moe. “Then my husband told me something I hadn’t thought about before. People die. The death of a heart donor would happen whether I accepted a new heart or not.” She shifted her look to John. “And he told me something else. If a person agrees to be an organ donor, then that’s something very personal. Something that person chose to do.”

  “Yes.” John dabbed at his eyes and nodded. “Erin was like that.”

  “So . . . what I wanted to tell you all is this.” Tears filled Kendra’s eyes, but her words came anyway. “I’m sorry about what happened to Erin. If I had to choose, I would’ve died so that she could live.” Kendra looked at Ashley and Luke, Kari and Brooke and Dayne. Last of all she looked at Amy. “I absolutely would have.” She hesitated. “But it doesn’t work that way. And now . . . I’m here and she isn’t. And I’m so sorry about that.”

  “It’s not your fault.” John stepped forward and took Kendra’s hand. “We all know that.”

  “Yes.” She caught a few tears with her fingertips. “But I wanted you to know how thankful I am. For this gift of life.” She looked right at John. “I wish I would’ve known Erin. But because of you”—she looked around—“all of you, I feel like I do. So . . . thank you for that, too.”

  The moment was tougher than John had expected. But it was necessary. John took a deep breath. “Why don’t we all go eat. And during dinner, maybe everyone can tell Kendra something they loved about Erin.”

  His family nodded and murmured their quiet agreement. As the group headed back to the table, John hoped he had made the right decision. They hadn’t talked about Erin openly like this in a long time.

  But it took only a few minutes for him to know that this was exactly what they needed. With Kendra here, they were all thinking about Erin and Sam and the girls. This gave the family a chance to remember them. Especially Erin. Not just the kindness she showed to others, but the funny things she used to say and the way she made a family celebration warmer—just by being in the room.

  “Back when we used to have a kids’ table at Thanksgiving, Erin always sat with them.” Brooke’s eyes grew distant, her laugh drawn from days gone by. “Maddie and Hayley used to think she was one of the cousins.”

  Kari nodded. “I remember one Thanksgiving Jessie brought matching hair ribbons for all the little girls. Remember, the ones with purple turkeys on them?”

  “Absolutely.” John chuckled. He could picture his youngest daughter as clearly as if she were sitting there at the table. “Erin got one, too.”

  “Yes.” Kari smiled. “She wore it all day.”

  They shared throughout dinner, and several times one of them remembered something that made the others laugh. Even Kendra’s mood seemed lighter, she and Moe now more connected to the Baxter family.

  After dinner and dessert they headed into the living room and gathered around the tree. They would be together again tomorrow, but tonight John had a gift for each of his grandkids—something special Elaine and he had chosen for each of them.

  As the kids opened gifts, John noticed again that Amy was quieter than the others. She still hadn’t had a moment with Kendra. Not like John had pictured. It made him wonder how Amy was taking all this.

  When the children were finished exchanging presents, Kendra stood and brought a large bag into the room. “I have a few gifts, too.”

  “You didn’t have to get us anything.” John had already told her that during one of their phone calls. “We’re just thankful you and Moe are here.”

  “Yes.” She nodded. “I know. But . . . I wanted to.” She pulled a gift from the bag and handed it to John. “This is for you and Elaine.”

  John’s hands trembled as he took the present and set it between him and Elaine. He spoke softly to her. “You go ahead.”

  She slid off the wrapping paper and at the same time they both saw the gift. It was a wooden heart, made of rough-hewn older wood. And painted across it were the words “The Heart Remembers . . .”

  Kendra watched him read it. “I’m different since the transplant.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. “As if some of what mattered to Erin, now matters to me. Especially her faith.”

  Tears blurred John’s vision. He handed the heart to Elaine and crossed the room to hug Kendra. He wanted to ask her what she meant exactly, or how she knew something was different. But those deeper conversations could come later. “Thank you. We will cherish this.”

  Around the room the others were quiet, some of them wiping at tears once more. “That’s beautiful, Kendra.” Ashley was the first of them to speak. “Erin would’ve loved knowing that.”

  Kendra smiled as she handed gifts to Ashley and her siblings. Each of them received a small heart-shaped stone with the same words engraved on it. The Heart Remembers. Then Kendra pulled one more gift from the bag. A smaller one. “This”—she looked across the room—“is for you, Amy.”

  And with that, the entire room fell silent. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath. And if John knew his kids and grandkids, they were doing something else, also.

  Praying for Amy . . . and the moment ahead.

  All night long, Amy couldn’t take her eyes off t
he woman. Amy still wanted to be here, still wanted to meet Kendra. But she couldn’t seem to find the words to talk to her. Every time she thought about going up and saying something, the timing didn’t seem right.

  Like they were eating dinner or praying in a circle or listening to Uncle Luke and Aunt Reagan and her cousins singing on the front porch. There wasn’t really a chance for Amy to talk to the lady alone.

  Until now.

  Amy could feel everyone looking at her, but she didn’t care. She stood and walked toward Kendra. “You brought me a Christmas present?”

  “I did.” Kendra got down on her knees and held out the little wrapped gift. “No one here misses your mommy more than you.” Kendra’s voice was quiet and sad and real. All at the same time. “I’m sorry about that, Amy. I meant what I said. If I could trade with your mom, I would. So she could be here with you.”

  Amy started to cry. Not because she was sad to spend more time with Kendra. But because Kendra understood exactly how she felt. She wanted her mommy to be here so badly. But since her mommy had to be with the rest of her family in heaven, it was very nice to know Kendra got to be alive.

  And that her mommy had helped make that possible. Her mommy and God, of course.

  Amy pressed her hands to her eyes and wiped away her tears. It wasn’t nice to cry when someone just gave you a Christmas present. When she could see better, she opened the gift. Inside was a little velvet box. Amy opened that, too, and lying in the box was a gold heart necklace.

  “It’s a locket.” Kendra helped Amy take the necklace from the box. “See?” The heart had a little door on it, and inside was a picture of her mother. She looked young and happy and pretty.

  “My mommy . . .” Amy ran her thumb over the picture.

  “Yes.” Kendra was crying a little. “I have your mommy’s heart, Amy. But you do, too. You always will. Because your mom is always with you.” Kendra put her hand on Amy’s shoulder. “I thought a heart necklace would help you remember that.”

  Amy looked from the necklace to Kendra. “How did you find her picture?”

  Kendra looked at Amy’s papa and then back at Amy. “I had a little help.” She held up the necklace. “Can I put it on you?”