Still Jaded

  you're the one who's done this to me, you best be scared."

  "I'm trying to help you."

  "You're helping yourself."

  She moved back a step. "And how is that? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't have any friends except those two in there. They're loyal to you because they grew up with you, but you're holding them back. You know it. You know that they'd be better off if you'd just let them go. I'm trying to help you with that. I'm trying to help Grace too. You can lean on us. We're here for you."

  I watched as she spoke each word and realized that a part of her believed what she was spouting. But I also knew how cunning she could be. I'd had a few conversations with that side of Cadence. And I also knew what crazy looked like so I asked, "How crazy are you?"

  Her smile slipped a little, but she returned, "More than you can handle."

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The rest of the day was monotonous. Everyone cleaned. Some flirted. Most laughed, but everyone kept cleaning. When Cadence said the girls came to work, she was right. So did Corrigan's boys. The media arrived after a couple hours, but I took great delight in shutting the gates. I knew a lot of the brothers and sisters were disappointed, but it was my house. I'd do what I wanted, and they could cry about it to someone else.

  Bryce's agent left in the evening, but only after he ordered pizza for everyone. Twenty large pizzas were delivered an hour later, and everyone took their first big break together. I found juice that had been spared by the stalker and set it out. It was gone quickly.

  "Everyone's worked up a thirst." Grace smiled as she approached with a broom and dustpan in her hands. She glanced around and noted, "This is quite the event. I like it. It reminds me of high school. I used to do things like this with my brother."

  I studied her intently. "This isn't the same. You did charity stuff because you cared about helping out. They aren't doing this to help me. You know that, right? Cadence is doing this because her house wants to be closer to Corrigan, and she wants to be closer to Bryce. Corrigan's house is here because they knew there would be hot girls, and they feel some loyalty to me but just a little."

  Her tentative smile vanished. "I was just saying…this is fun…"

  "Because you feel like you're a part of the 'in' crowd. You never felt that in high school."

  She bristled and then swallowed hard. "Why are you saying this?"

  I moved closer and pulled her away from the group. "I don't want to delude you, but I see that you're changing. I get it. I really really do. You're being accepted. You're wanted. People like you. People are paying attention to you. I DO get that." I took a deep breath. "I'm also telling you that there's another side. You're blind to it. People are going to eat you up, swallow what they want, and then spit you out…eventually. It might not be today, tomorrow, or next month. It'll be someday."

  Grace fidgeted. Her hands trembled, but she shook her head. "You're wrong, Sheldon. I like these girls. They like me. I didn't know this would be so difficult for you to accept. Is it really that big of a stretch for people to like me?"

  I smiled tightly but said, "I like you because you used to see through bullshit like this. You're getting pulled into their web."

  "No, I'm not. There's no web—"

  I gripped her arm and pulled her into another room. When I shut the door, I made sure to lock it too. Then I dragged her across the room and into the small bathroom. After I closed that door, I demanded, "What did you see at the party?"

  "What—nothing." A look of panic blazed over her face, but she calmed immediately. "I didn't see anything. Why? You think I did and I wouldn't tell you?"

  I narrowed my eyes but let go of her arm. She was good. She'd gotten good. That meant that she'd been schooled at an alarming speed. What that meant…I wasn't sure. It might've meant that I was more paranoid than I thought. I nodded slowly. "Okay. I'm sorry."

  Grace touched my arm. "Are you okay? Maybe it's the pain? You've had a traumatic experience, Sheldon. More than most."

  She was right, but something was off. I felt it, but I also needed to face the reality that it could be me this time. "You're right. I probably need another pain pill."

  "Are you staying with Bryce somewhere? Maybe you should go there and lay down. We can finish cleaning. You can come back, and everything will be normal tomorrow. If they don't stay to finish it, I will. I promise."

  She looked so innocent and well-meaning. Strands of her thin golden hair had fallen from the braided bun. They framed her face and accentuated the softness of her pale features. I used to think Grace looked like an angel, but this time something else reeled in me.

  I blurted out, "I saw Denton Steele."

  Something flashed in her eyes. The blue depths darkened for a split second.

  "He told me that you've seen Mena. You never told me."

  She nodded before she looked away. "Mena asked me not to. She was embarrassed about her situation. You were always so…larger than life in her eyes." She looked back. I felt like she was pleading with me to understand when she said, "You're a lot, Sheldon, and I don't think you know how you come off to other people. You're larger than life. It's like you're above everyone else, and Mena didn't want you to know how far she'd fallen. She was embarrassed, that's all. She asked about you a lot, though. She was always curious about Bryce, how things were going between you two."

  I'm sure she had been since he was the one who pushed her out. "You know…I…Mena needed to stand up to Bryce and Corrigan. I couldn't do it for her."

  "She wasn't ready to do it back then. She didn't have the strength or the self-esteem. She might now, though," Grace whispered and looked away. She clutched her arm, holding it across her waist. Her fingers pressed so hard into her skin that blood seeped out under her nails.

  I watched as a droplet of blood trickled on the floor. "You're right," I said softly. "Maybe she does now. When was the last time you talked to her?"

  "What?" Grace wrenched her gaze back. Her eyes were glazed over, as if she'd been thinking of something else entirely. "Oh. I talked to her three months ago. She was happy, seeing someone. I met him. He seemed really nice, the staying kind, you know."

  "Did she ask about your love life?"

  "Oh." She blushed and looked down. "I don't have a love life, remember."

  She avoided my gaze and I knew that our friendship was done, our real friendship at least. She didn't mention Corrigan. "You never know. There might be someone hiding in the shadows."

  Grace laughed and patted my arm. "You're teasing me. You're always teasing me."

  I grinned. "I like to tease."

  "I'm going to head back out there. I'm sure everyone's done eating by now. You want me to send Bryce in? He could help you to…wherever you're staying?" Grace reached for the door.

  "Go and eat. I'll find Bryce."

  Grace smiled at me before she left. I saw the look of relief on her face and wondered where it came from. Was she relieved that my interrogation was over? Relieved that she didn't need to find Bryce and pass along a message? Or…relieved because she thought I believed her? And did I? I pressed a hand to my head and groaned. A headache had started earlier, but now it throbbed.

  "There you are. What are you doing in here?" Corrigan sauntered in with a fresh drink in hand.

  I sniffed it. "That's not juice."

  He flashed a grin. "It's not ALL juice."

  I shrugged. "Well, cleaning will be a lot more fun now, if any gets done."

  "Relax." Corrigan laughed and grabbed my shoulder. He started to massage it and remarked, "Holy hell, you're tight, Sheldon. Maybe you should rest."

  Everyone kept telling me that. It was starting to piss me off. I removed his hand. "I'll rest if I want to."

  Corrigan still chuckled but contented himself with his drink. He watched me over the brim of his cup. "What are you thinking about me and Bryce? Or about me, you and Bryce? Or about...the same stuff? You really want a knock-down-drag-out fight? It might get brutal, Sheld
on."

  "I can handle brutal. If it's honest, that's all I care about." I couldn't handle the lies and the shady games that went on under the surface.

  Corrigan shrugged and glanced over his shoulder. "The groups are going to finish cleaning. It looks like an all-nighter for us, but that's okay. I'm going to run to the liquor store later, so I'm not promising how much will stay clean by tomorrow. Grace just told me that you might leave. Are you headed out?"

  She did, huh? "I don't know. I haven't decided yet."

  "Well, I don't think you, me, and Bryce are going to have our thing tonight. There's still too much to do and he's got practice tomorrow. Should we reschedule for tomorrow night?"

  I examined him but couldn't tell if he was serious. "Are you free tomorrow night?"

  "There's always homework." He winked at me.

  I shook my head and laughed. Holy hellness, my head hurts. Maybe I should head to the hotel. I sighed, resolved to my fate. "I think I'm going to head out. Can you let Bryce know that I left?"

  Corrigan's smile disappeared. "Sure."

  "He won't hit you."

  "He better not try."

  I started to leave but turned back. "I asked Grace if she saw anything at the party, but she said no. Can you press her? Complain about me or something. I don't care what you do, but see if she tells you."

  "You're sure she saw something?"

  "Yeah. I'm sure. She doesn't trust me anymore."

  Corrigan's eyes went flat. "I'll figure it out. Go rest."

  As I walked back through my home, I caught sight of Bryce in the far corner of my living room. He held a bag as Raz filled it. They were laughing and talking together. In that moment, I saw a carefree look in his eyes. It was genuine, and that took my breath away. It was in the way he stood, how his shoulders seemed lighter. I stopped and watched him. It felt good to see that, to see that Bryce could still be like that. It gave me hope, but I averted my eyes after a moment and brushed away a tear. Something told me it'd be a long time before I saw that side of him with me. It felt like a storm was coming our way, and we'd be lucky to get through it.

  When I walked outside to my car, I stopped inside the garage door. Leah leaned against my car with hands stuffed in her tight jeans. She gave me a tense smile and brushed some hair out of her face. "I can't go in there because it's enemy territory."

  I propped myself beside her. "I'm sorry." And I really was. I should've paid more attention to how much of a bitch Cadence was.

  She shrugged. "It's fine."

  It wasn't. I'd done this to her. Because of the rival sorority inside, she'd been exiled from this event, from the fraternity and friends that were hers inside. No matter what I thought, those guys were her friends and I'd been involved with putting them with the house that would separate Leah from her friends.

  I turned to her. "I'll fix it. I promise."

  Leah assessed me for a moment and then shrugged again. I saw acceptance in her shoulders, and I didn't like it. "It's fine. It is what it is."

  "You told me those girls were bad news. You told me Cadence was bad news. I didn't listen because I didn't care. I care now." They took one friend from me. They weren't going to take my other two. "If they're doing what I think they're doing, I will take them down. Trust me."

  Leah laughed and I heard a bitter note in her voice. She shook her head and let loose her hair. "Do you know who you're dealing with? Cadence is one of the most deceptive, conniving, manipulative bitches that I've ever met, and I'm not new to this block. My brother was an Alpha Mu five years ago. I've been coming around since he was a pledge. I've seen girls come and go. Some were awful, but Cadence takes the crown. I'll tell you to stay away, but that's all I'm willing to do. I don't want to tangle with her. I don't even want to see what she's fully capable of."

  I smiled, half-heartedly. "I've met worse."

  She watched me closely. "What are you going to do that others haven't?"

  "You're forgetting something. I don't have much to lose. Cadence can't take what she wants from me, and contrary to social manners, I have no problem making enemies. I rather enjoy it."

  She grinned. "I do believe that."

  "What are you doing here, anyway? This is kind of morbid, don't you think?" I gestured to the house. "You can't go in where you want, watching from the outside."

  Leah looked over my shoulders. "What do you do when you're losing your friends? I didn't feel up to a carton of ice cream."

  She stared at my house with a mix of emotions, and I realized that I'd misjudged her. I didn't misjudge many, but Leah wasn't who I originally thought. She really considered these guys her friends.

  "What do you do? You fight back," I murmured. It's what I'd do. It's what I planned to do.

  Leah looked away. "I don't know. Things could get worse."

  "What's worse than being alone?"

  She smirked. "What if you like being alone?"

  "You don't, though," I shot back. I was beginning to figure out what made her tick. "Stop hiding from this. It's your fight. Own it."

  "And it's not yours?" She peered at me with a tear in her eye.

  "It's mine too, but I need to heal for a little bit. And then I'm coming back. Hard. This isn't my first time around."

  Leah shook her head. "How do you do it? You sound so sure? Like you know exactly what you're doing, what needs to be done? It's not that simple or easy."

  I considered everything I'd been through. Marcus. Losing Bryce. Losing Corrigan. Getting them both back again and now losing them once more. Losing my family. Losing two girlfriends that I'd hoped would stick it through… I sighed. "If someone's coming at me, trying to destroy what I have, then I know exactly what to do. I understand what they're trying to do. Now, crazy people, I have no idea what makes them tick. I don't even know what makes me tick most of the time, but someone threatening my family—that's a cakewalk for me."

  Leah murmured, "Then consider me down for whatever you have planned. I want in."

  I smiled. I was starting to like this girl.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  I said that I'd head to the hotel, but I went to their sorority house instead. I'd gotten an invite to one of their earlier parties, and the address wasn't hard to find. It was the only four-story house on the block with a pink sign that read Zeta Gamma Phi in front of it.

  It was risky. I knew that, but I remembered that Corrigan mentioned how his none of the guys in his fraternity liked to carry their keys, so they left a pledge behind. They wouldn't have to lock the doors.

  I hoped the girls were as lazy.

  I parked around the corner and went to the back door. I held my breath, tried the knob, and found I was in luck. Apparently the Zetas did have the same theory as Corrigan's house. The only problem was that I didn't know how many pledges were at home. And I didn't know where they were.

  The back door opened to the kitchen, which was huge and shiny. The floor looked like it had been waxed recently, and I felt like I was walking on water. I heard sounds from a television and headed down a back hallway. Slowly, I crept past the room where the noise came from and found a stairway.

  Rather than open every closed door, I only wanted to find Cadence's room. Since she was the head bitch, I assumed she'd have the biggest room. Something told me it'd be at the top. When I got as high as I could in the house, I started to poke my head around. The first three rooms weren't hers. Then I opened a door and found another set of stairs. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Of course they'd have a secret stairway.

  The house was a freaking maze.

  As I went up, I was in luck again. I'd found her room. It spanned the entire fourth floor. It looked like a small apartment with a kitchenette in one corner and couches set up in the middle. The living area was immaculate. She hadn't even left a magazine out. Next, I looked around her bed and dresser. Other than a pledge pin with my name on it, nothing stuck out as weird or obsessive. So far, the room wasn't matching my mental image of Cadence. The room se
emed normal. There were no signs of the psycho that was hidden deep in her soul. Then I opened her closet and my eyes got wide.

  Pictures. Pictures. Pictures.