From the Eyes of a Juror

  In addition to the photo, Cam also came across something buried deep within the dregs of the vast, viral, worldwide web which would prove to be a lot more practical to his cause. After a mind-numbingly extensive search, he stumbled upon a rather enlightening newspaper article which detailed the efforts of an inmate in a New York prison who was able to fashion an old wooden broomstick into a primitive weapon. And with this newly found scrap of information in hand, Cam Miller was overcome by a dizzying inspiration. Cam Miller was overtaken by a precipitous revelation. Cam Miller was overpowered by an overwhelming force of nature; a force of nature which revealed to him that with this devastating knowledge securely locked-up in his brain he now possessed the necessary ingredients with which to make a quantum leap into the hellish, thirst-quenching abyss of bloodlust and gore.

  “A jagged, knifelike stake, sharpened to the point where it could be plunged into the heart of a vampire…a whittled, wooden paling rod, capable of passing unnoticed through any metal detector known to man, capable of piercing the soul of a soulless man,” whispered a smiling Cam, and suddenly vivid visions shot through his head unannounced.

  Cam couldn’t even begin to explain where these delusions of grandeur were coming from, but he was relishing in the near hallucinogenic quality of the experience nonetheless. He was exalting in the righteous rhymes of the sultry voice that was whispering sweet nothings in his ear. He was extolling in the virtuous rhythms of the buxom figurine that was twirling around in his sulphurous imagination.

  On top of everything else, the guttural side of Cam’s chimera was quite taken in with his serendipitous broomstick discovery, and, aided by the ever-so-subtle persuasions of a sorceress’s bewitching touch, he was very much intent on proving out his theory in a real life application. And furthermore, although he was completely oblivious as to the inner workings of his ransacked and imprisoned psyche, he was just as intent on pleasing the source of his unquenchable addiction; the voluptuous enchantress, Ms. Tracy Stone.