Sorcery and Scholarships

  Nothing. It was so empty of anything of his. That was necessary, but it struck him every time he saw it. Nothing that could suggest his goals, nothing from his parents, nothing that gave any indication of who he was. Just like he wanted it to be.

  Except everything was unclear now. If everyone had been like Gastion, it would have been easy to know what he had to do. Instead there were many others, either held as hostages or because Darkness was broader than he had understood. The other side couldn't be easily characterized either, and worse than that was the number of neutral parties, not to mention people like Aki.

  When he began his morning exercises, his own darkness was a pale and diluted thing. He knew exactly what needed to be done to restore it, yet he didn't. Maybe he no longer believed in what he had come here to do, or more likely he didn't think it would make a difference.

  After completing his training he tried to get some reading done and failed miserably. If he didn't get out of the empty apartment his mood would only get worse. Walking across campus didn't help, but when he wandered through the library he found Aki reading some leather-bound tome.

  "Didn't you hear finals are over? What are you still doing studying?"

  She glanced up at him and smiled. "Morning, Blake. I realized that Franz doesn't lecture over half the stuff in the text, so you have to read if you want everything to make sense. I guess he doesn't want anyone else to have a life since he doesn't have one."

  "That's really the Fetishism textbook?" He didn't seriously intend to press the matter, though, and leaned against a nearby table. "Did you hear there's going to be a party tonight in the palaces?"

  "Really? Some kind of black tie thing?"

  "They're just entitled, not royalty. It sounds pretty casual and I probably have to go, but I'm worried it's going to be all idiots. Show up for a little while at least. Invite interesting people."

  Aki sighed. "I don't know, I haven't seriously gotten out in a long time and-"

  "Do it."

  "As you command, then."

  A joke, but as he was now everything added to his bad mood. He pretended to be another meaningless student, and wondered if he was really any different.

  ~ ~ ~

  "Good, but I don't like it." Tierdrial folded her arms disapprovingly. "You haven't followed my training schedule. While you've improved by experimentation, that's potentially dangerous. Homuncomancy is a new art and it's not fully developed."

  "Sorry." Keisha managed to find the strength to push herself back to her feet so she wouldn't be apologizing on her knees. She was even more exhausted than usual. Apparently Tierdrial had been able to notice the improvements Keisha had made based on Doyle's advice, and punished her for it during their training.

  "You're not so far from doing your own experimentation, but not yet. Plus, your work has been deteriorating lately."

  "I respectfully-"

  "Oh, you might be able to maintain this pace indefinitely. I don't doubt that. What you really need is some time to stop working and relax. There's some manner of celebration due to the end of examinations. You will attend."

  Keisha stared at the professor. "That's not necessary, and probably not restful."

  "Really? I assumed all you humans liked that kind of thing." Tierdrial had already turned to walk away, which meant she wouldn't change her mind. She rarely did. "You will attend regardless, since it will be a good opportunity to network with other Light candidates."

  That was one thing Keisha admitted she hadn't done well. The most prominent Light students didn't impress her, except for Doyle. "I'm not sure who they even are."

  "Thus proving my point. Eron Roshal is only a semester ahead of you, and you should meet Bianca Manunta. It wasn't so long ago she was one of my best students."

  She frowned and was surprised at her own reaction. Though Keisha didn't think Tierdrial was her friend, she felt somehow betrayed that the professor had taught someone like Bianca. Did she merely select for talent, or did she have other motives? But Tierdrial was still talking.

  "There were two other Light candidates in your year, but one has dropped out and another is very likely to do so. I suppose that's to be expected to maintain a balance. Light has outnumbered Darkness for several classes, so we were due for more of them in this crop."

  Reminded why she rarely spent time with her professor outside of training, Keisha decided to take a different route. Tierdrial called after her about the party. If she was serious about this, she would ask again next time. Hopefully it wouldn't hurt to show up and be seen before leaving.

  ~ ~ ~

  Aki arrived at the party for the second time. At first she had worn her nicest blouse and skirt, worried they wouldn't be enough. Before she had gotten inside, she had bumped into a woman nearly falling out of her shirt and wearing something that was arguably long enough to be called a skirt. That was when she realized she'd overdressed.

  It was just that the palace deserved its name. Positioned far away from the other student housing, it towered over nearby buildings. The price was ridiculous, but each room was like a suite and there were gyms and hot tubs and other facilities on the lower levels. She had heard some of the people living there remark that it was adequate.

  Now she was back in shirt and pants. At first she was going to wear a t-shirt with an obscure reference to the Legend of Zelda, but she realized that she didn't want to draw the attention of the majority of gamer guys there. So neutral colors it was.

  "Hey, glad to see you here." Edgar gestured for her to come inside and so she followed him into the dimly lit room. He looked nice, though she always thought having a shirt partway unbuttoned seemed silly.

  The inside of the palace dorms was a courtyard that had been converted into a dance floor. There had been a slow song playing the first time, but it was something techno now. Around the edges and on the balconies there were better lit areas with students drinking and talking.

  "Reylin is here, but try to ignore him and enjoy yourself."

  "There are probably enough of you here to keep him down anyway, right?" She hoped so, because she really wanted to unwind and enjoy herself.

  "Things are kind of tense, actually. The Light candidates are bunched up on the north end there, and the Darkness people are hanging around the blue lighting." Edgar saw her glancing at them and gave an apologetic smile. "Forget about them. There's no war in the middle, just dancing."

  She did her best to forget. As always, she was self-conscious in the beginning, but she couldn't feel too bad next to people attempting to do the sprinkler un-ironically. Eventually she got into the movement and by the time the song ended she was already feeling better.

  Still, she needed a moment to rest. Aki migrated to the sides and picked up a fruit-tasting drink. There were a surprising number of people attending the party, even some of the people from her mod. Something held at the palace was clearly in a different league than their usual drunken weekends. She thought there were more non-humans than usual, but maybe more were just relaxing without a glamour.

  One area was indeed lit with blue lights, casting everyone nearby in strange shades. She noted Blake was there, looking surprisingly good in his trim black outfit. Unfortunately, Reylin was also lurking nearby like some kind of awkward bat, so going over there wasn't a possibility. Was there some kind of coordination that had people grouped according to alignment?

  To test she looked toward the Light group, only to find Keisha approaching her. She looked amazing in a sleek red dress. "Glad to see you here. That dress looks nice on you."

  "Thanks." Keisha stood beside her and sighed for a moment. "I didn't actually want to come, but it hasn't been horrible. I should get to know more people, but so many are... well, very much college students."

  "That's right. If you were considering law school you've already graduated once." Aki took another drink from her glass. "You should dance, though, I think it'd help. Just stay away from the people dry humping over there."

  "I'm af
raid that won't be happening. If you see me dancing, please help me, because I'm having a seizure."

  Aki laughed and shook her head. "Suit yourself, I suppose. I'd come hang out with you, but I see Bianca is queen of the party over there."

  "Right." Keisha looked to that side of the party and frowned. "She's talented and motivated, I'll give her that. That doesn't mean we're ever going to get along."

  "Well, I'm going back out there. I'll see you around."

  Coming had been the right choice, despite the tension. It was easy enough to ignore that with the beat pumping through her. Aki finished her drink, then went back onto the dance floor and let the music take her.

  ~ ~ ~

  By now his usual game was well under way. Blake had quickly realized he couldn't compete with some of the creeps here, since he did have some standards, so he settled for a self-satisfied attitude. It wasn't out of place with many of the other Darkness students, but hopefully no one took him seriously so it just seemed pretentious.

  That wasn't so unusual either. Otryad had been having some kind of argument with an older student Blake didn't know. He had the shaggy black hair and slight body of a Menehune, though Blake couldn't see his ears to be sure. "That's not Darkness, it's just anger. If you don't-"

  "What's the point of living the way you do?"

  Since he needed something else to do, Blake slid over to them. "Are we having some kind of philosophical debate? The best ones are always at parties. Or in bars. If this party was in a bar we'd be set."

  "You're a little out of your depth, Blake. What do you have to say about evil?"

  "Not much. Doesn't it strike you as a little bizarre we Darkness types actually use that word?" He grabbed a glass and used it to gesture to the rest of the party. "Nobody thinks what they're doing is actually evil. We've just renamed our concepts."

  The Menehune stared at Blake for a moment, then sniffed and looked away. "Naive. The entire point of the prophecy is that our side is about taking whatever we want."

  "Then you just think the highest good is yourself, right?" Blake took a satisfied sip from his cup. It was nasty cheap beer, but he held his gag reflex for the sake of appearances.

  "How would you define evil, then? Since you've obviously given it so much thought."

  "Why bother? Say you have a guy, all he wants is a wife, two kids, a picket fence, etcetera, etcetera. He's willing to kill anyone to get it. Most likely he's a model citizen, but in different circumstances he razes half a country to get what he wants. Does it really matter what we call him?"

  Otryad gave a thin smile. "You don't have much ambition, do you?"

  "Oh, the whole ambition thing is too much work."

  When the Menehune shook his head, his sharply curved ears were visible amidst his hair. "You humans have become worthless since all this relativism set in. In your history there have been warlords that slaughtered hundreds of children. Are you going to call that a matter of opinion?"

  "That's an interesting question. Say you and I decided we wanted to be really evil and just started killing as many babies as possible. Pretend we could both average one baby every thirty seconds and kept that pace for an entire day." They were both staring at him now and Blake stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Two of us over twenty four hours adds up to... a bunch of babies. But it wouldn't even be half of the number that die every single day due to malnutrition."

  Their blank expressions were entirely worth it, though Blake wondered if he might have made a mistake. The Menehune bared his teeth in disgust, but Otryad looked thoughtful. Best to keep going.

  "Wait, maybe it's less than half. I was just counting humans and there are at least as many of everyone else. But I guess it doesn't really matter, since I was trying to say it doesn't matter what words we use."

  Someone else moved into the group, shaking his head. Not a student Blake knew or had seen in any of his classes. "It does matter. Because words are all we have, you know? You don't know anything, not really, because it's just, like, your perception. You don't know that any of it's real."

  They stared at him until he wandered off. Otryad sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I really wish we didn't teach freshman philosophy classes."

  Blake had held hope the conversation might have gone somewhere interesting, but the disruption seemed to have ended it. Maybe inside would be different. He headed through the door and sat down on one of the empty couches, spreading his arms to either side. To his surprise, Morissa sat down beside him. She wasn't touching him, but was closer than would be considered normal, especially considering her tight-fitting shirt.

  "Hello?"

  "Pardon me, I just wanted to get away from Reylin."

  "And he is...?" She inclined her head in the direction of a pale man lurking in the corner. Not human, maybe a vampire if Blake guessed correctly. They all felt so different it was hard to tell. "Fine, though this is, what, the third time we've talked?"

  "Fourth."

  It seemed like Reylin was indeed watching her. He had some kind of vampire glamour going and Blake was glad it didn't target him. Well, he didn't mind a conversation with Morissa. "Axis gave you a Dark Essence, right?"

  "Yes."

  "What did you have to do to earn that, murder a bus of school children?"

  She winced and looked away from him. "Doesn't all of this seem unreal to you? I don't think anyone here has actually killed anyone, but they talk like they would. Like some war in the past is going to control everything today. It doesn't matter if it's true; the fact that we tell these kinds of stories is disturbing."

  After watching her from the corner of his eyes for a while, Blake sighed. "I don't think it's really going to come to a war. The world is too connected for that now. But there's the type of person who wants to believe in chaos, because it means they could do whatever they want without consequences."

  "That's what bothers me." She leaned back and her hair brushed his arm. "Axis is giving so much power to people I wouldn't trust... including me. Ever since I got the Dark Essence I've been feeling different. It's just selfishness, now, but there are violent dreams and I worry how I might feel in another year."

  "You know, I think Reylin is stalking someone else now." He hoped that he didn't know where the conversation was going, but better to avoid it. Not while he was so uncertain what he wanted. She ignored him.

  "But you don't seem affected by it at all. Regardless of what you say, you're not... corrupted."

  He held back a sigh. It wouldn't have been right to say nothing, not with someone who seemed to be a decent human being. "Why are you blaming yourself for doing nothing? Everyone has dark thoughts sometimes. The fact that we don't act on them is what makes us human."

  "It's nice to know someone else thinks that way." Morissa shifted her head to look at him and shifted her eyes away quickly. "Are you doing anything tomorrow? We could... grab a coffee, or, I don't know..."

  She looked so vulnerable he hastened to speak. "That's flattering, but I don't think now is the best time." To his surprise, he felt a twinge of regret. Asked on a date by someone beautiful and apparently intelligent, and he had to refuse thanks to vague thoughts of destiny. Blake got to his feet before he could change his mind. "I'm sorry, Morissa."

  "No, no, it's fine." She looked embarrassed, but emotionally stable. Blake quickly left and stood under one of the blue lights, staring into it.

  Refusing was the right thing to do. He was too uncertain now. There was still the edge of vicious evil inside of him, along with an apathy that he didn't have to fake. At the beginning he'd thought he could ignore them, gather his power and take a role in what was going to happen. Morissa wanted someone to reassure her she wasn't evil, and he'd probably just drag her further into it.

  Defying some vague concept of destiny was easy. But the sides weren't good and evil, just different kinds of selfishness. He wasn't sure what he wanted anymore.

  ~ ~ ~

  "I half-expected the Sinistrals to show up wit
h pickets."

  She hadn't been listening until that sentence, then Keisha's head jerked up so quickly it nearly struck the wall behind her. The word had been spoken by one of the women in Bianca's retinue. Keisha hurried to engage in the conversation.

  "What was that you just said about Sinistrals?"

  The woman looked at her in confusion until Bianca shook her head condescendingly. "She doesn't know. Before coming to Axis she didn't even think magic was real."

  For most of the world, that made her sane. Here it was laughable. Keisha gave a thin smile and ignored Bianca. "I'm not familiar with the organization you mentioned."

  "They're not as important as they think they are. I suppose you could think of it as the fey version of PETA, though they're actually mostly Jotunn, not really fey. They're always protesting the strangest things."

  "That's not entirely fair." Bianca gave the other woman a reproving look. "They do work with some animals, but mostly they campaign for other non-human rights. For example, you wouldn't know that the moon sprites live in a small realm that's been severed from most of the others, so they're struggling. What the Sinistrals don't understand is that the sprites got themselves there. They wouldn't have to live miserably, but they're too flighty to accomplish anything."

  Keisha nodded as if mildly interested while trying to fit that into everything else she knew. At the moment it didn't make a lot of sense. "Do they have any connection to Axis University?"

  "No, thank goodness. My father would talk to the board if they considered anything like that."

  "Is the organization mostly fey?"

  "Mostly non-human, if that's what you mean." Bianca sniffed. "I'm surprised they can maintain that kind of blind idealism even in Spirit realms, and it wouldn't last at all in our world."

  More questions would attract suspicion and cause her trouble later. Keisha thanked them and participated in the rest of the conversation as if she was interested. People like Bianca's family seemed to view the Sinistrals as a slight business annoyance, but she knew they had been mentioned during the attack.

  Perhaps they were connected, but more likely Eron had made an assumption. That meant that the university expected some kind of attack from the Sinistrals. Yet since the attackers were mostly human, that meant that it was something unrelated instead of the expected danger.