Have Club Will Travel

against the planes bulk head as before it had a rounded stone striking surface at both ends, by my estimate the thick end was heavier than a baseball bat and the stone was large, the opposite end was far thinner almost as thin as the grip of a human tennis racket, the stone at that end was even slightly smaller than a hardball with the result that that weight could be whipped around at blazing speed. I was within the reach of it.

  "We are going to negotiate with some people, you have a bandana around your neck, you will wear it as a mask while you talk with these people."

  "Just negotiation, why do you need me?"

  "We have some what you call employees who are warriors but not many, we are more interested in those who have abilities, such as building and farming or herding. We have little reason to seek human warriors."

  By way of answer the Sasquatch, reached into the pocket of the large vest he wore and he then produced a water pipe. I stared, I had noticed the residual scent of pot in the air, but I had assumed that the plane had been chartered to a group traveling to a fishing camp or a beach resort and that the pilot had not wanted to offend good customers and had allowed the activity.

  Sasquatch shrugged at my look, "The pain keeps getting worse."

  There was a lighter built into the unit and in seconds he had blown a cloud of fragrant smoke in my direction. I moved away from it reflexively. After so many years spent arresting pot smokers I unconsciously wanted to keep that scent at bay. The idea of using a butane lighter to start a water pipe while riding in a chartered plane seemed risky, almost out of control.

  "Usually I just chew down a couple of brownies to get the effect, but waiting for it to digest before it hits my blood stream…" He shivered, his hide quivering like a horse that had gotten wet.

  I had fished out a piece of moose meat jerky which I had purchased a couple of months ago, it had no flavorings beyond the vegetation that the animal had eaten. Sasquatch ignored my unspoken offer of a portion for his own use instead he took another hit from the water pipe, this time he blew the smoke upwards towards one of the air vents which sucked the cloud of smoke into the atmosphere. He leaned back now more relaxed.

 

  "As the first part of your payment I will discuss with you why our people chose to remain separate from the human tribes. There are several reasons. In our earlier conversation I had over simplified the answer, but it was true that in the early days when men from Europe came to fish in the water off the eastern coast there were cases of disease being carried with them and as a result we had heard the tales and were wary. These were cases where you had a small crew of a fishing boat coming from some isolated town and then spending well over a month in travel to these shores. By the time they arrived they had shared the pestilence with a few small tribes at the seashore, that and in at least one instance they fired what we later learned was a swivel gun at one of our people.

  "This swivel gun was a black powder shot gun mounted on the side of a ship? Almost heavy enough to be considered a cannon?"

  Sasquatch nodded "Yes she was injured even though she only was struck by a part of the spreading charge."

  "Clearly your people remember such things for a long time. Do you remember how long ago that was?"

  "It was before we began to hear tales of the Spanish in Mexico and South America."

  "So you did not travel that far south?"

  "We prefer cooler climates, Miami before air conditioning was only of interest in the winter months, but some of our people had travelled that far, to see the great pyramids of the Maya and also the Aztecs, one of our artists travelled into the tropical latitudes to observe and record such information for our people in a collection of paintings. I have seen the copies of the deer skins he painted thirty generations ago he would send these out to other regions so that our people could marvel that a tribe of humans who had seemed so productive at one time could have been driven mad and decided to waste their lives building stone hills."

  "They had religious reasons behind this."

  "I personally have read these accounts in what you call religious texts, if a man in Miami went about as these men did and said that god had spoken to him, you have doctors now who would medicate him because he is clearly mad and he should be kept from interfering with others. So your society has finally progressed to the point where they identify such people as mad rather than forming a new religion based on his ravings."

  I was making mental notes their society had what they called artists who kept records of the past but possibly no priests. I considered pressing him on both subjects but decided against doing so.

  "Some of our religions serve to look after the poor and those who are injured."

  "I have heard of this, the missionaries that they send to other places creating what it is the Orientals call it in their counties. Now I remember the term translates Rice Christians, I believe it refers to people who are willing to listen to a sermon if you feed them afterwards."

  I noticed that his movements had become slightly more languid and his speech less clear as he blew another cloud of smoke upwards to be sucked outside the plane." The missionaries would tell you they hope to save the souls of those people that they preach to."

  "A soul, a thing that has no substance which cannot eat or drink or make love this is not life. Who would want to waste the life they have, in stone houses praying to a god who never answers so that he could become a soul that is once again a lifeless thing?"

  This was a new side to the Sasquatch that I think of as Speaker. The narrow eyed suspicion that I have encountered in the past had vanished after only a few puffs he seemed to have fallen into what I think of as freshman analysis, broad statements that are critical of various authority figures. It was a pleasant change. I decided that a further show of willingness to assist him was called for rather than continuing to ask probing, questions. I have worked with some extremely skilled interrogators and most of them agree that I have little subtlety.

  "So what will you want me to help negotiate today?"

  "We have a problem, there is an area in the Appalachian Mountains where pot growers have been raising their product for years, there are also various groups which have traditionally made and sold moonshine. Neither of these activities cause us concern. Naturally there are criminal organizations which have grown up to control this activity and they are often engaged in nasty infighting, you have seen this kind of situation yourself?"

  "They always seem to be shooting each other about territory. So why are you interested?"

  "We do not mind when they are involved in those occupations, they are relatively harmless, that and watching their confrontations is amusing. So long as they pay us a levy to trespass and use our lands we do not mind too much. Unfortunately they have now taken to cooking meth at some of the sites that we have allowed for other purposes and this we will not allow."

  "You collect a levy from bootleggers and pot farmers?"

  "Yes we have been doing this for generations."

  "You don't see anything wrong with dealing with people who break our laws?"

  "Some of your laws are useful, most are not."

  "So what do you want me to do?"

  "We want you to meet with these men, there are two groups and tell them that there will be new rules, previously we suggested that the red neck mafia would be allowed to control areas on the eastern slopes of this area and the skin heads would be allowed on the western side. We want them to agree that they will continue to follow these guidelines and that in addition that neither one will move into the area south of State highway 16 where we have another arrangement in place you will tell them that you will reduce their levy from three percent to two percent if they immediately cease any activities with regards cooking meth except within several designated which will be in towns and that they will also inform us of any operations of this type that they know about."

  "I find it interesting that you are willing to communicate with them, would it
not be easier to just call the police and inform on them."

  "We have considered this, as you know some of the people in this area have limited employment options the money they make from cultivating a dozen plants helps to feed their families, if we start informing indiscriminately these are the people who will end up in jail while the men who run things and who have good lawyers will be free to sell their poison."

  "So you have a moral objection to meth?"

  "I want you to imagine one of my people, high on meth wading through a sea of your soft, thin skinned people, unable to distinguish threat from fear using the two sword method."

  "Your people use swords?"

  "In this country we saw what you call conquistadors wearing armour and carrying swords and using them with lethal effect against the tribes. We found the idea of body armour and swords to be interesting, that and we had already developed a two club art which was used to train our fighters, we prize what you call ambit dexterous movement, so a martial art based on two clubs is an excellent way of demonstrating that capacity to a potential mate."

  He paused, "So have we exhausted your capacity for curiosity about our customs?" His voice through the speaker sounded more crisp and his eyes had sharpened, whatever buzz he had experienced had worn off with amazing speed. "So can you understand that one of our people so afflicted can be a