Awethology Light

  * * *

  “Eydis, is that you?”

  That’s Amandus, the shaman of our tribe. He’s also my grandfather. I think he looks formidable with his long white hair and beard. We are the only ones in our tribe with yellow eyes. It’s the mark of the shaman. I’ll explain it to you later.

  “Yes, Grandfather. I’m sorry I’m late. The forest was so enchanting today. I lost track of time.”

  The lines around his eyes became more prominent, searching mine. I give him my best innocent look. I can practically mislead anybody, but not my grandfather.

  “Don’t take me for a fool, young lady. You’ve been building bridges. The energy around you is crackling. Did you think I would not notice?” He gives me a stern look.

  “No, Grandfather. I would never presume to fool you, but you taught me how to build them in the first place. It’s my name day. And a very important one. I needed some time to myself to mark the occasion. You know, in private.” I pause for effect.

  His eyes smile. “Yes, I know, my granddaughter. You’ve become an adult. There are a lot of preparations going on for your party tonight. I think your father is actually looking forward to it. He’s very proud of you, as am I.”

  Oh boy. He’s doing the guilt thing. I hate when he does that. It’s his way of trying to wriggle the truth out of me. Not this time. I have to protect my secret. For Talib’s sake as well as mine. I lock eyes with him and smile my calm, reassuring smile.

  He sighs. “Well, I suppose you’d better see to it that your younger brother and sister are not using your name day as an excuse to skip their homework.”

  I grin. “No, sir. See you tonight at the party!” As I dart away, I turn around and give him a hearty wave goodbye. I see him shaking his head in good humour. We’re good. I know he doesn’t believe me, not completely, but he will let it go. For now.

  I pass the two great trees. Birches. One male, one female. It’s the entrance to our dwelling. I feel the magic tingle as I step through and my home comes into view. It’s a shame you can’t see it. You would only see more forest if you stepped through, but it’s really there. You might think of some dark, wet cave. Covered with creepy crawlies and a bad smell. You couldn’t be more wrong. It’s amazing! The little fairies float around providing light everywhere you look. The caves are covered with beautiful green moss and all our furniture is made out of wood and crystals. We’re very good at crystal-shaping. The temperature is always nice. Never too hot nor too cold. My house is at the end, up that hill. Oh, sorry, you can’t see that, of course. Well, there’s a hill in the distance. Humans won’t even go near it because it’s guarded by Beka. In case you’re wondering, Beka’s a bear. A big, brown bear. I’ve known him all his life. Sometimes he lets me ride him. Our tribe always had the loyalty of the bears. That’s why our banner carries a brown bear. His mother was our guardian before him. When I reach the top of the hill, Beka’s curled up in front of our dwelling. I crawl my fingers through his thick fur, just behind his left ear, not wanting to fully wake him. Beka knows my step from miles away, so he doesn’t register any danger now. If he did, he would rip me…well, you get the general idea.

  My younger brother and sister are inside, studying, like good little children. Redar, my brother, looks up.

  “Eydis! Where have you been? Can we stop now? Selka and I have been learning for two hours.”

  My little sister smiles. “You look different, Eydis. Prettier than yesterday. Why is that?”

  I lift her off her feet and twirl her around, causing her to laugh. “You’re very observant today, little one. Maybe it’s because I became an adult today,” I say to her. “And, yes, you may stop now. It is important to prepare for my party and I have a task for the both of you.”

  Redar looks at me. He has a frown on his face. “You’re an adult now? Does that mean you will leave our house and stay with your husband?”

  I gently punch him in the shoulder. “No, silly. I won’t be married until I’m one hundred and sixty or maybe even one hundred and eighty! Besides, I’m not sure I will ever marry anyway.”

  “You’re our future queen. You will have to marry. Father said so.” Redar looks stubborn. I sigh.

  “Would you like to know the task I set just for you?” My little sister nods enthusiastically and I can tell Redar is distracted by my words. He wants to know if I will give them something important to do.

  “Well, tonight I have to walk over the bridge…”

  “Because you’re a shaman, like Grandfather,” Redar interrupts me.

  “Yes,” I nod, “normally a boy or a girl would wade into the water, but because I’m like Grandfather, I will walk the bridge. Just like he did. It will be dark though, and I don’t want to fall. So, I’m leaving you two in charge of asking the fairies to light my way. To build a bridge of their own on both sides, so I can see where I place my feet. If you get them to do it, it would look very pretty and it would mean a great deal to me.” I give them my most heartfelt smile.

  They look happy. And impressed. Redar straightens up. “You can leave it to us, Sister. We will make sure it is done and done properly.” Selka giggles but says she would love to help me. I give them both a hug. Redar looks slightly embarrassed, but I know he’s pleased with the task I set them.

  As I watch them leave the cave, talking rapidly about how to persuade so many fairies all at once, I feel an intense love for them. It’s the same warm feeling I get whenever I see Talib. Talib. We’ve shared so much. Oh, that probably sounds very strange to you. That’s right, I promised to explain. Okay.

  Well, if you’re born with yellow eyes like me, you’re what my tribe calls a bridge-builder. Not literally but in the mind. We can connect through dreams. I never even knew it worked with humans until I tried with Talib. It’s like a normal dream, only I’m in control. And I can make you remember your dreams. That’s why I know him so well, and he me. Only that last part is a bit complicated. Because until today, he thought I was just a figment of his imagination. I can’t imagine what he must have thought seeing the creature from his dreams for real.

  At least tell me your name.

  That’s what he’d yelled. It’s the one thing I never told him in the dreams. There’s great power in knowing someone’s name. I trust Talib; of course, I do. But to freely give him my name? He is human, after all. What if I’m wrong about him? He could endanger my entire tribe.

  Talib is a great dreamer. I can lead the way and show you around, but it helps if you have plenty of imagination. No problems there. He has that in abundance. Yesterday we could both fly. We flew over the entire land. He showed me the new roof of the farm his parents owned and I showed him the bridge. My bridge. He loved it. When we touched ground, we talked about my village.

  “It’s so sad that I can only see it here, Tomorrow.”

  Talib calls me Tomorrow. Since I won’t give him my name and he has to call me something, he came up with Tomorrow. Every day I hope I’ll see you again tomorrow, so I’ll call you Tomorrow. I really liked that thought.

  “It’s sad. I wish there was a way for you to come and visit me. For real, I mean. If it weren’t forbidden and they could see past all that, I think my family would really like you.” I smiled at him.

  He’d looked at me a bit embarrassed.

  “So, how do you know you’ll become a — you know — woman?”

  I laughed.

  “We just know these things. Good thing, too, because there’s a lot of preparation needed. Can you imagine the look on my father’s face if I dropped my becoming — a woman, as you put it — on him out of the blue?”

  We’d both rolled over laughing. Talib had seen my father many times in our dreams. He probably knew him and my family, just as well as I did. With the exception of Grandfather, of course. I had shown him my grandfather, but we’d never actually had a conversation with him. Too risky. Even I wasn’t completely sure how the shaman’s dreams work. What if Grandfather would remember the same way I di
d? That wouldn’t do at all!

  “Tomorrow, will things change? Between us, I mean. Now that you’ll be a woman and all. You said you didn’t want to marry soon and I know we age differently, but won’t your father expect you to, I don’t know…Start looking around?”

  I grabbed his hand.

  “I don’t know, Talib. I only know what I want to happen, not what will happen.” I grinned at him. “Besides, you still think I’m a figment of your imagination.”

  He gently yanked the end of my tail. It sent shivers down my spine.

  “I do not! It’s just hard to explain. I can only see you here and I know you better than my real-life friends, but I can never talk about you because then everybody thinks I’m crazy. You have no idea how difficult that is!” He had that sad look on his face again. It had broken my heart. I wanted nothing more than to give him some comfort, so I decided to distract him.

  “Will you come to the bridge tomorrow night? The one I showed you before? I know you will not be able to see me or the bridge, but I’ll see you. It’s an important moment in my life. I’d like you to be a part of it.”

  He looked so happy.

  “Really? You want me to be there? Won’t the entire tribe see me? What if I get you into trouble?”

  I shook my head.

  “No, only the fairies will see you and possibly my grandfather, but if you stand in the spot I showed you last week, I don’t think he’ll notice. The fairies won’t give me away. They’re very loyal to me.”

  He smiled. “Like Beka?”

  I laughed. “Yes, like Beka.”

  He looked into my eyes. “I promise I’ll be there, Tomorrow. You have my word. I don’t want to leave before the ceremony is over. How long should I stay there?”

  Always so considerate. One of the many reasons I care for him. Much more than the stupid boys of my tribe. I tried to hide my frustration and gave him a reassuring smile.

  “If you stay there for one hour, it should be more than enough. From where you’ll be standing, I’ll be able to see you for the entire ceremony, but I will walk the bridge only at the end. I’ll raise my left hand, which you won’t be able to see, obviously, and then the ceremony will be completed.”

  I talked him through the entire ceremony and showed him as many pictures in our shared dream as possible to make it come alive for him, before I left him to sleep and climbed out of his window.

  I didn’t always do that. Actually go to his home to share a dream. But yesterday it had seemed important to be close. Physically close. I shouldn’t have waited till he woke up. I didn’t expect him to wake up so soon.

  I really have no idea if he’s going to show up tonight. I think he actually had planned on coming, but back then it was still safe. After all, I was just a figment of his imagination. Now I am real. The tables have turned, so to speak. Would Talib still like me? Or would he be scared of me? It’s one thing to be friends with a troll in your dreams but to realize they actually exist? I shivered as a chill ran down my spine to the tip of my tail. I didn’t like that thought. Talib shouldn’t be scared of me. It was wrong. Totally wrong. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I stray from the path today of all days? We had just spoken yesterday evening. Okay, through our dreams, but there’s really no distinction for me. I should have been more careful. After tonight, my whole life will change and now Talib might not even be there. I need him to be there.

  “You’re lost in deep thoughts, my child. Are you sure everything is okay? Not getting cold feet, are we?”

  Father is smiling down on me. I return his smile and watch his face soften.

  “Hello, Father. No, of course not. Well, a bit nervous perhaps. It’s been a long time since someone’s walked the bridge. I want to do it right.”

  He puts his arm around me. “You will, my daughter. Your mother would be so proud. As am I.” His voice is tight. I have to swallow something in my throat as well before I can answer him in a steady and clear voice.

  “Thank you, Father. I hope I won’t let you down.”

  “You could never let me down, my child. Not ever.” He gives me a hug.

  I hide my face against his chest and feel a stone drop in the pit of my stomach. I’m lying to my father, but I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth. To tell him I broke the rules. A part of me wants to yell at him, give the throne to my brother and run away with Talib. Live my own life. Free, not bound by honour, obligations or magic. I can’t, though. Even I’m honest enough to admit that I couldn’t live without my family. I can lie to practically anybody but not to myself.

  Father lets me go and takes a step back to look at me. He looks proud. It pains me to see it, but I stand tall as his eyes reach my face.

  “I’ll let you prepare, my daughter. The fairies will come shortly to help you get dressed and ready. Before I go, I want to give you this.”

  He’s holding a crystal-shaped box. It glitters, catching the last rays of sunshine, which is rapidly disappearing now. Inside is a ring with two sparkling emeralds shaped like raindrops. Together they form a heart. It is breathtakingly beautiful. I know who it belonged to, of course. My throat tightens even more.

  “Your mother wanted you to have it. Wear it with pride and may it bring you the same joy your mother and I shared.”

  I can no longer hide my tears and before I know what I’m doing, I’m holding on to him for dear life.

  “Thank you, Father. I love you. You know that, right? That will never change. Not ever.” Oh dear. I’m repeating his words to me.

  He awkwardly pats me on the back, embarrassed by my thanks.

  “There, there now. You’re more than welcome, child.” He lets go of me and gives me a last soft smile before leaving the house.