“I did. And it wasn’t so bad.”
“Nothing is ever as bad as you anticipate it to be.” I leaned back and gave him a kiss. “You did really well. Your Gran would be proud.”
That made me laugh.
“She would have hated that poem. Told me it was inappropriate. But that’s why I picked it. Because that was how she showed me she loved me.” And that set me off again.
Declan held me close.
“She did love you. Anyone could see that.” Raine handed me a tissue and I smiled at her in thanks.
“She liked you, too. I never brought a guy to meet her because I never thought anyone would be good enough for her. But she liked you, I could tell. I think she was flirting with you at one point.”
Declan chuckled.
“A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman at any age,” he said. “I’ve missed you this week.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Oh, no. We were getting very close to the reason I’d avoided him this week.
“And Drake has been asking when you’re coming to have dinner with us again. I think he’s plotting to handcuff you to one of the chairs and never let you leave.” I wouldn’t want to. “I might have given him the idea.”
I pulled back and looked up at him.
“Oh, it looks like it’s over,” Raine said as people started filing out of the funeral home.
“Shit, I missed the whole thing,” I said, wiping my eyes again. “My mom’s going to kill me. Oh well.” I didn’t care anymore. I was with the people I wanted to be with. Well, minus Drake and Angie.
“I need a drink,” I said.
Raine grinned.
“Let me text Angie and see if she can sweet talk Blue into opening the bar.” This was why she was my best friend.
“I have to go to that stupid lunch, but we can definitely go after,” I said. Normally there was a graveside service, but since Gran was cremated, we weren’t doing one. She had a stone, but she hadn’t wanted any pomp and circumstance about placing it. Her instructions on what to do with the ashes were specific, though. Gramps’ ashes were scattered near Myrtle Beach, and that’s what Gran wanted. So Gerald had the honor of driving the ashes down and scattering them without getting arrested. I didn’t envy that job.
“Do you have someone to watch Drake for the rest of the day?” I asked Declan.
“Yes. He’s with my father today.”
“How did it go with Ada?” Declan gave me a grim look.
“Not well. She, ah, wasn’t very pleased. I had to threaten her with legal action.” Damn. That woman really was delusional. “But now that she’s gone, I’m glad. She wasn’t a good influence in my life, or my son’s. He needs to be surrounded by people who really love him.”
Raine did a little victory dance, distracting me for a moment.
“Blue is in. We just have to be there around two-thirty and he’ll take care of us. Angie will meet us there.” She dropped her phone back in her purse.
“You doing good, babe?”
I nodded and gave her a hug.
“I love you and thank you so much for being my best friend,” I said. She kissed my cheek.
“Love you, too. You’re my PLPF. Platonic Life Partner Forever.”
She dabbed at my eyes and then replaced my sunglasses.
“Well, we should probably head over. The lunch is being catered, but I’m sure there will be some crisis Mom will need me for.” Raine looked up from her phone.
“Why don’t I drive? Then you ladies don’t have to worry about being sober,” Declan said.
“I love that you think about things like that,” I said.
“And I love that even at a funeral, you’re exactly who you always are. Never change, love. Ever,” he said.
I leaned up and gave him a kiss.
“I won’t. Promise.” Raine made an impatient noise and we headed for Declan’s car.
“Wow, this a sweet ride,” Raine said, stretching out in the backseat. “You guys ever bang each other back here? It’s so comfy.” I looked at Declan and we both decided silence was the best answer to that question.
“You totally have, haven’t you?” Raine said and started humming to herself.
I turned on the radio to drown her out.
The food at the lunch was fantastic, but Mom was going nuts and yelling at people and finally Dad had to remove her and when she came back a half-hour later she was way too calmed down.
“I think my mom just popped some meds,” I said to Raine and Declan. The three of us had been having a fairly good time, watching the slideshow and talking about random things.
“It’s almost ten after two,” Raine said as I pointed out family members in one of the pictures.
“Crap, we should get out of here to meet Blue. Is my mom watching?” I said, glancing around.
“No, I don’t see her,” Raine said. “Let’s make our getaway.” We quickly tossed our plates and headed out a side door.
“Go, go, go,” I said as we raced across the parking lot, as if we were escaping with our lives.
“We made it,” I said, collapsing into the passenger seat of Declan’s car. “Drive!” The car roared to life and he peeled out of the lot, Raine and me laughing and shrieking.
“I needed that after the crying. I guess I can’t laugh without wanting to cry,” I said. “I’m a freak.”
“Yes, you are. But we love you anyway,” Raine said. I turned around in my seat to stare at her. She’d said “we love you”, implying that both she and Declan loved me.
Declan cleared his throat and things got awkward. And silent. And weird.
Thanks, Raine.
“To Gran!” I said, raising my Mint Julep. Blue had blended us all classic southern drinks in honor of her.
“To Gran!” everyone said, raising their glasses and tipping them back.
“And to Blue for getting his lazy ass out of bed to open,” Angie said and Blue glared at her.
“I didn’t do it for you, sweetheart. I did it for Blair. She leaves good tips.” That was true. I did tip him well. They started fighting again and I watched, sipping my drink.
“Are they always like that?” Declan asked, his arm around my waist.
“Pretty much. They’re really in love with each other, but neither will admit it,” I said. That pretty much explained Blue and Angie.
“Sometimes it’s not easy to tell the person you love that you love them. You never know if they’re going to love you back.” Yeah, we weren’t talking about Angie and Blue anymore.
“You’re right. But if you know, you know. And nothing else matters. Not your past. Not theirs. It all pales in comparison to how right you are for each other.”
Declan sipped at his non-alcoholic lemonade and looked like he was going to say something else, but didn’t. I had the letter in my purse. To give it to him, or not to give it to him. That was the question.
“Do you remember that time when you brought me with you to visit Gran and she spent the entire time correcting my posture?” Raine said. “I thought I was going to slap her, and you can’t slap an old lady. But every time my back hurts from sitting weird, I hear her voice in my head telling me that ladies sat up straight.” I could hear it too.
I started telling stories about Gran and we all laughed and I knew she wouldn’t approve of the way I was celebrating her life, but this was the way I was going to celebrate her. This was how I was going to do it. And somewhere, somehow I knew she was smiling.
Declan was lively and fit in perfectly with my friends, but he was quiet on the ride back to the funeral home. Raine kept us entertained by singing loudly with the radio. She’d had a few too many drinks. I’d stuck to one, and that was a while ago, so I was set to drive.
“Can I speak with you, Blair?” Declan said as we got Raine into the car and buckled.
“Yeah, sure. Just give me a second?” I said to Raine and she gave me a big smile. Oh boy. We walked back to Declan’s car and a bud of fear started to bloom in my stomach.
r /> “Are you okay?” I asked. Oh no. Was he going to end this? I couldn’t read the expression on his face.
He reached out to hold both of my hands in his and gazed into my eyes.
“I know I told you that I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship. But then I realized that . . . I want you. I want you so much I can barely think about anything else. I want you in my family. I’m in love with you, Blair. I love you.”
My hands started shaking and I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
“Really?” That seemed to be the only word my mouth could form.
“Really. You’re beautiful. And you’re so good with Drake and he adores you. I think that was what made me fall for you first. Seeing you with him.” Hadn’t I cried enough today? The tears started again and Declan wiped them away with his hands.
“This is not good timing, I’m aware,” he said.
“No, it’s terrible timing,” I said, laughing. “But I love you too. I’ve been avoiding you this week because I didn’t want to tell you.”
“You do?”
“Yeah,” I said nodding and he kissed me and I tasted my tears and his mouth and the timing wasn’t right, but this was right. Us. Together.
He broke the kiss and smiled so brilliantly it made me cry harder.
“I’m so happy and I shouldn’t be,” I said.
“No, love. You have every right to be happy.” He held me close and I remembered the letter.
“Oh, I wrote you a letter. I was going to give it to you next week. But I guess that doesn’t matter now.” I let go of him and got my purse out and handed him the letter.
He read it right away, his eyes bouncing across the page. I watched him take it in, smiling in some parts and serious in others. He read it through twice.
“What do you think?”
His answer to my question was to grab me in his arms and yank me off my feet and kiss the daylights out of me as Raine cheered from the passenger seat of her car.
“So, Drake, what were three things you did today?” I said as Declan filled his son’s plate with chicken, potatoes and broccoli.
“I wrote my name, I petted a puppy and I saw a fire truck. Now you!”
I smiled at his eager face. No matter how many times we did this, he still loved it. Every night.
“Well, I worked with Raine, I had lunch with Daddy and I agreed to move in with you,” I said. We’d only been officially dating a few weeks, but I knew it was right. I was here most of the time anyway. My apartment with Raine had almost become like my office and I spent nearly every night here. It only seemed natural.
“You live here?” Drake asked, his blue eyes huge with surprise.
“Yes, I’m going to live here. Is that okay with you?” He nodded enthusiastically and bounced in his seat.
“Yay! Will you read to me?”
“Yes, I’ll read to you every night. Promise.” I held out my pinky and linked it with his.
“So, Daddy, what were three things you did today?” I asked, leaning toward Declan.
“I got a good grade on my exam, I signed three new clients and I asked your lovely self to move in with me.” I wrinkled my nose at him and he pulled my face close for a kiss. Of course Drake demanded that we kiss him too, so we both got up and attacked him, tickling him and covering him with kisses until he begged us to stop.
My life had changed in just a few months. Raine and I had finally finished our edits and submitted our final draft to our editor. We were well on our way to finishing our dark thriller romance and our agent was enthusiastic about his prospects of selling it.
Raine had accepted that I’d basically moved in with Declan and had started going out with Angie more, and even signed up to take a few night classes at the local college. Still, if I didn’t hear anything from her for more than three hours, I worried she was dead in a ditch somewhere. Besides, she was a frequent guest here, and we’d set up an office of sorts in one of the guest rooms so we could work.
And Declan. Declan, Declan, Declan. My beautiful Brit. He was better than ever and we were so happy it should be illegal. Our lives weren’t perfect, and we argued and made up and tried to figure out how to have a relationship with the addition of a three-year-old who liked to pop into Daddy’s bedroom whenever he pleased.
No, it wasn’t perfect, but that was the point. My family was so concerned with everything being just so, being spotless and shiny and uncomplicated. But it wasn’t real. I found perfection in small moments. In Drake bouncing on the bed, his golden hair flying everywhere. I found it when Declan and I were naked together. I found it in watching the two of them interact when they didn’t know they were being watched. This was the family I wanted.
This was my version of perfect.
The Noctalis Chronicles
Nocturnal
Nightmare
Neither
Neverend
The Whisper Trilogy
Whisper
Fall and Rise
Deeper We Fall
Faster We Burn
Slowly We Trust
Available Through Harlequin
My Favorite Mistake
My Sweetest Escape
For Real
Deep Surrendering
Surrender Saga
Sweet Surrendering
Surrendering to Us
Coming soon:
Dark Surrendering
This was one of those special books that doesn’t come around very often and I’m so excited that I had my awesome team around me once again. To my editor, formatter, cover designer and everyone who read drafts and told me how much they liked it, THANK YOU. It’s one thing when I know I love a book, but it’s another when other people like it too. Thanks also go to my family and friends for putting up with me ditching them to hang out with Blair and Declan (insert swoon here). To the beautiful girl who I found on Pinterest who inspired Blair, you rock and you’re a total badass. To tall British men for being tall and British. Keep on keeping on. Oh, and you. If you’re reading this. Do people really read these things? I hope so.
Chelsea M. Cameron is a YA/NA and Adult New York Times/USA Today Best Selling author from Maine. Lover of things random and ridiculous, Jane Austen/Charlotte and Emily Bronte Fangirl, red velvet cake enthusiast, obsessive tea drinker, vegetarian, former cheerleader and world's worst video gamer. When not writing, she enjoys watching infomercials, singing in the car and tweeting. She has a degree in journalism from the University of Maine, Orono that she promptly abandoned to write about the people in her own head. More often than not, these people turn out to be just as weird as she is.
Find Chelsea online
chelseamcameron.com
Twitter: @chel_c_cam
Facebook: Chelsea M. Cameron (Official Author Page)
Chelsea M. Cameron, UnWritten
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