Natural Selection

  I DIDN’T WANT to be alone in a car with either of my siblings the next morning, so I decided to take the bus. By the time I got to school, Evelyn was waiting for me at my locker. Since today’s theme was Hawaii, I wore a horrible Hawaiian shirt, a lei, and a hibiscus flower in my hair. Erica wore a swimsuit-like tank top and oversized lei with a matching flower in her hair.

  “So what the hell happened yesterday?” she asked, stepping aside so I could get into my locker.

  I didn’t even know where to begin. My talk with my parents left me with more questions than answers, and I had no idea what was safe to share and what wasn’t. Evelyn was my best friend, and I felt guilty keeping secrets from her, but I wasn’t ready to share anything until I got a handle on it. Instead, I told her about Mariah—not all of it, but enough that her brown eyes grew wide.

  We walked to English together. I couldn’t tell you what we talked about, just the kind of stuff we always did: school gossip, television shows, teen fashion, whatever happened to wander through our brains. But for this one brief moment it was nice to be reminded that normal was still possible. I mindlessly listened to Evelyn chatter about some singer’s dress at some award show I could care less about, and I thanked my lucky stars to have her. It was the most surreal day of my life—boring, mundane, and absolutely wonderful. It was a blissfully normal day.

  Nathanial ignored me, except when he flashed me one of his million-watt smiles at a witty comment I made. Immediately forgot what was happening around me as I struggled to hold back an embarrassingly girly giggle. Xander showed up in a coconut bra and grass skirt. I told Evelyn he had to have been adopted because I couldn’t be related to that. It wasn’t until the words were out of my mouth that I realized it was the truth and I hoped she didn't catch my reaction. Sariah broke up with her current meal ticket on the quad, smacking him in the back of the head with a book when she caught him with his hand on Chelsea Drake’s thigh. Right on, Sariah!

  After school, I rode home with Xander and the normal stopped. I hadn’t been alone with him since my talk with Mom and Dad. I barely left my room all night, so I had no idea what Mom told him. He didn’t say anything. After a couple of blocks of awkward silence while I chomped on one of my nails, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Ok, it’s killing me. What did Mom tell you guys about me last night?”

  He gave me a funny look, swerving into the other lane briefly before pulling it back over the line. Fortunately, the road was empty, but I grabbed onto the "Oh shit" handle just in case. I’ve always wondered how holding onto that handle was supposed to save me in a car accident, but still I reached for it during a close call.

  “Sorry about that,” he muttered, looking a little chagrinned. “Mom didn’t say anything—just you were in your room. Why?”

  “A friend of mine was murdered.” I was shocked with how deadpan my voice was. I went for a walk. I weeded the garden. My friend was killed.

  “Who?”

  “Mariah Carter. A police detective came to school, and I was in the office. They showed me a picture of her room—it was awful, Xander. It was some sort of creepy witchcraft ritual.”

  Xander was silent as we drove down Kickapoo, past the town square and the courthouse with its familiar dome. “I’m sorry, Lia. Were you two close?”

  “No. Yes. I don’t know…That’s not why it upset me so much. The symbol they found painted in her room—I can’t breathe just thinking about it. It was powerful, Xander.”

  “Did you and Mom talk about that?”

  “No. Actually, we got sidetracked. We spent most of our time talking about gaia, djinn, and succubuses… succubi… whatever!” What was the proper plural of succubus, really?

  Xander didn’t say another word. He pulled into to driveway and climbed out of the car. Without looking back, he grabbed his bag out of the backseat and went into the house. I followed, my feet dragging. Sariah wasn’t home, but I knew she had detention for her incident on the quad. I tossed my bag on the steps as usual and followed Xander into the kitchen.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “What?” he gasped, looking shocked “No! Why would I be mad at you?”

  “Then why aren’t you talking to me?”

  “What do you say when someone announces ‘Oh, by the way, I know the secret you’ve been hiding all these years’ as calm as can be?”

  “I didn’t mean it that way, but is there really a good way to broach the subject? For goodness sake, I feel like I’m on the receiving end of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, and you’re the one getting huffy?”

  Xander snickered and shook his head. “Monty Python couldn’t have said it better. Do you have any questions for me?” he asked, his too-bright-blue eyes studying me.

  “Do you remember anything before coming to live with us?”

  He nodded. “I was only two, but djinn and succubi mature fast. A full-blooded djinn matures by the time he’s three. Since I’m more human it was slower, but I have memories as early as six months.”

  “What was it like knowing what you could do? Did you know it wasn’t normal?”

  I knew that was the wrong question as I watched my brother’s face shut down. He was silent, and I could see an internal struggle in his eyes. Just when I thought he wasn’t going to talk to me anymore, he looked down at his hands resting on the counter top. “I knew it scared the hell out of people, but I didn’t understand why. Mom taught me about it later, but at the time, I was so hurt and confused.”

  I opened my mouth to ask a question but stopped. I tried again and the words stuck in my throat, too heavy with insecurity to make it out of my mouth. “Do you remember your birth mother?” I asked tentatively.

  “You’re really going for the tough ones, Lia.” His voice was little more than a whisper. “Yes, I remember her a little, but not much. Mostly, I remember how scared of me she was.”

  I felt so sad for him. Xander had always been the greatest brother growing up, and I couldn’t imagine somebody being afraid of him. Even knowing about his mysterious powers, I wasn’t scared of him. He was my brother—that hadn’t changed. “I’m sorry, Xander, but her loss is our gain. I know, I know, no mushy chick flicks, but just for a sec, I promise.” And with that I walked around the counter and threw my arms around my brother. What shocked me the most was how hard he hugged back, like he'd been waiting for me to reject him. “Xander, you do know this doesn’t change anything, right? I’m not going to run away. You’re stuck with me, so deal with it.”

  His entire attitude changed. It simply hadn’t occurred to me he was gearing himself up for rejection, and that realization made me sad. How could he have expected me to reject him for not being normal when none of us were? For the first time in my life, I really looked at my brother. Xander had never been good at making friends. In fact, I can’t say I’d ever seen him with any—other than Nathanial. I felt guilty for making things so awkward for him over the years. It occurred to me though my parents had explained about my brother and sister, I still knew very little about myself. I was so frustrated and confused. I wanted someone to tell me something—anything! I opened my mouth to ask Xander, but he’d always read me like a book. I could tell by the stony expression on his face what the answer would be without saying a word, so I remained silent.

  “Sorry, Lia. I can’t help you. Mom made us promise not to tell, and until she releases me from it, my lips are sealed.”

  I nodded, trying not to let my disappointment show, but it made me a little sad. My brother and I were moving into a new phase of our relationship, and I didn’t know if I liked it. Fortunately, I was saved from contemplating it by Evelyn arriving at the door with a bag of glue in extensions. Tomorrow’s theme—crazy hair. She had big plans for my poor hair.