Angel Fever

Page 40

 

  “Not as far as we can tell. A lot of them are students; they’re all fairly young. Plus there’s a store clerk, a waiter – no one special. ”

  “All right, I want this kept as quiet as possible,” Raziel said finally. “Keep them isolated and study them. Figure out what’s going on, do you hear me?”

  “We’ll try,” said Gallad. “But, Raziel, what if this doesn’t stop?”

  “What do you mean?” he said sharply.

  “You know what things are like in the angel community now. If our very food starts turning against us, so that we can’t survive here…” Raziel could almost see Gallad’s uneasy shrug. “It would be like…a judgement. ”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” hissed Raziel. “A judgement from whom? We are the only gods in this world, Gallad – and don’t you forget it. Keep the humans isolated, and do away with them if studying doesn’t prove useful. ”

  “All right,” Gallad said after a pause. “I hope you’re right. ”

  “Ah, little Miranda…you’re beautiful, you know. Even when the confusion is all that’s left, you’ll still be beautiful…”

  In the dimly lit room, Raziel opened his eyes and held back a curse at his own remembered words, echoing in his head. He was sleeping less and less now – and though he hated admitting it to himself, he knew this was why: to avoid the dream that still haunted him.

  Damn it, Miranda was dead – why was this happening? He’d never cared in the least before what he’d done to her; she’d loved every second. Nor did he care now, except that the vivid dreams of the two of them under the willow tree felt as if she were seeking revenge from the grave.

  Raziel swallowed, realizing that this was not all. If he checked the earth’s energy field, he’d like as not also pick up that vague sense again of something unaware, yet powerful.

  I’m going mad, he thought. He sat up, his fists tight. Lauren lay asleep beside him; for a moment he’d forgotten all about her. Now his eyes narrowed as he took her in. Though he had two other girls living with him – both stunning – he’d given in to the urge to just have Lauren that night. She was familiar, comforting.

  His favourite.

  Lauren stirred drowsily and opened her eyes. “Is everything all right?” she whispered.

  Seeing again Miranda’s uplifted face and vivid green eyes, Raziel scowled. No, it isn’t, he told himself. Becoming too attached to any one human was a mistake. And this, at least, he could control.

  He flung back the covers and crossed to the dresser, where his cellphone was; he clicked a number on speed dial. “I need an A1 removed from my apartment immediately – she’s being demoted to A2,” he said. Lauren gasped and sat straight up; her brown eyes locked on Raziel’s as he continued: “Yes, a replacement would be good, thanks – maybe a redhead this time. ”

  He hung up. Lauren had begun to cry. “Raziel, what did I do wrong?”

  His fleeting urge to comfort her was proof that this had been long overdue. “Nothing. Everything,” he said, and strode from the room.

  FOR MONTHS I’D WAKE UP in the morning and not remember. I’d stretch my arm across the bed, drowsily looking for Alex, and touch only empty sheets. Then the truth would come back, crushing me under its weight.

  Every morning for months, without fail.

  I’d get up. Take a shower. Get dressed. See, I’m functioning just like a normal person. After a while I reached Advanced Normality and even managed to smile occasionally – though it never quite reached my eyes. People were nice; they always asked about me. How are you doing, Willow? Are you all right? Over and over, until the words pounded at my skull.

  No. I’m not all right.

  As more months passed, I finally stopped expecting to feel Alex next to me when I woke up. Now his death was the first thing that hit me, even before conscious thought: a dark, cold emptiness, as if something had gnawed away at my insides.

  There wasn’t a moment of the day when I didn’t miss him. I missed him in the morning, kissing me awake. I missed eating meals with him. Missed talking to him at night; seeing him walk around the bedroom wearing only a towel. His jeans lying in a heap on the floor, and the way his hair had stuck up in all directions when he first woke up.

  I missed making love with him. So much that it ached.

  People kept telling me it got better with time. I hated hearing that – as if time could magically erase what I was feeling. Finally, though, they stopped saying it. And I realized that the “time” they kept talking about had passed, and I was supposed to be over Alex by now.

  Meanwhile, I kept working.

  Things at the base were busier than ever. I immersed myself, tried to drown myself in activity. Destroying the angels had never seemed so important – never.

  The first simulation we ran without Alex was a disaster. People were all over the place, shooting at anything that moved. Sam did his best to give direction afterwards, but he was no Alex. Gradually, though, people started settling down and getting used to Sam…and he got more used to being in charge. He began turning into a good, solid leader.

  We started recruiting again, venturing into the dark towns to convince people to join us. It was tricky work; you had to be so careful who you chose to speak to. And while we brought in tiny handfuls of new AKs and trained our troops with enough skills to maybe, perhaps, keep them alive…Raziel kept gleefully announcing new Edens.

  Knoxville Eden. Duluth Eden. San Antonio Eden.

  Whenever I heard him urge everyone “still huddling in the cold and dark” to come to an Eden and be safe, I wanted to hit something. Safe. Right. And when they’d drained you dry, they’d just shove you in a warehouse.

  The Voice of Freedom kept broadcasting too. Whoever it was had guessed a lot – they always stressed the need to break away if the angels linked with you and to carry a weapon at all times.

  “The Angel Killers were our saviours, not our enemies,” said the husky voice. “Go for the halo, like they did. Do anything you can to get away if you’re attacked. ”

  Sometimes people in dark towns had actually heard the Voice – and it paved the way for them to listen to us. When that happened, I silently thanked the mysterious broadcaster. We were on the same team, even if we’d never met.

  Sam and I spent countless hours together going over Alex’s plans – and also, I guess, because of what we’d been through together. Usually he was as predictable as the tides – but once, as we were discussing what set to build next, I glanced up to find him studying me with a frown.

  “Don’t you ever think about anything except fighting the angels any more?” he asked suddenly.

  I froze, the pen I’d been taking notes with locked in my grip. “What are you talking about?”

  Sam’s blue gaze raked over me. His voice was harsh. “I’m talkin’ about the fact that it’d be kind of nice to see you smile again, angel chick. It’s been six months, you know that? And you’re still just…gone. ”

  What’s there to smile about? I nearly said. I looked down at the piece of paper I’d been writing on. Of course I knew it had been six months. I knew it down to the day, the hour. Almost the second.