I'll Conjure You Up A Fortune

settlement. There had been an automobile accident eight years earlier and she had sued. Her husband had agreed to handle her case. She hated to do it, but decided to call her husband.

  "Hello," the male voice on the other end sounded sleepy.

  "I hope I'm not taking you away from anything important," Adele sputtered sarcastically. "Are you surprised to hear from me?" This is a business call."

  "What do you want?"

  "You don't have to be so unfriendly. How is that orange-haired floozy girlfriend of yours? If she's there say hi to her for me. Don't wake her up if she's asleep."

  "Get to the point. I'm busy!"

  "How is that court case coming along? You know, the one that has been dragging on for so many years."

  "Funny you should ask about that. You must be psychic. I've been able to settle it. After the firm's share you'll be getting $200. We were planning on putting a letter to you in tomorrow's mail."

  Two hundred? Is that all? And you are taking a third of the settlement?"

  "Why yes, of course. That was the agreement when you signed up with me. Besides, it's not I who is taking the cut; it's the firm.

  "I'm sure you could have done better if you had wanted to. I'm going to sue! I'll have you disbarred! Oh, what a fool I was to think I was in love with an ambulance chaser!"

  "After the eighty-thousand you stole from me, you expect me to be gallant and go out of my way to help you? Not on your life! You've got a nerve. You'll be getting your check in the mail. Now I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me alone."

  "Scum," she muttered as she hung up.

  Adele pick up the phone and dialed the number that was deeply engraved in her mind.

  "Gordon, I just talked to my husband. My accident cases been settled. I'll be getting a pittance."

  She listened for a few seconds.

  "No, Gordon. There is no need to divorce him. Don't you see? In time, the court will award me a generous settlement. Then, with what's left of the eighty thousand, and your salary, we can live the life of royalty."

  There were some words on the other end. "Yes, we'll talk about it tomorrow when you come over. Be careful, don't be seen."

  She was about to disconnect when another thought occurred to her. "Oh, say, Gordon, the strangest thing happened tonight. You know that silly little experiment of mine – learning to be a psychic? My customer tonight was a wretched little woman who told me I was coming into some money. Could she have meant the settlement?"

  She listened. "Yes you're right. It's absurd. Just a coincidence. Good night, darling. Can't wait till tomorrow. I'm planning an evening you'll never forget."

  The week went by quickly. Adele had three clients and earned $195. She had nowhere near the success that she had enjoyed what Sylvia. But then, Sylvia had been unusually stupid. The biggest event of the week was the receipt of the settlement check.

  Sylvia, as disheveled as on the previous visit, was exactly on time for her second visit. She brought a handkerchief with the initials JG embroidered in a corner.

  "Is this Jimmy's hanky?"

  "Yes, it is. Will it allow you to understand Jimmy better?"

  "Definitely!" Adele set up her paraphernalia, then folded the handkerchief and placed it under the deck of cards. When asked to do so, Sylvia cut the deck and produced a seven of clubs.

  Adele pretended to be elated. "The seven," she cried out. "The luckiest of the numbers! This is good, very good. A seven combined with clubs indicates that you will be successful in any endeavor that requires planning. I sense that monetary decisions are being made. I have a plan for you. I'll conjure you up a fortune!"

  I don't see how you do it," exclaimed Sylvia. "You really do have a gift. Jimmy and I have been doing a great deal of planning. There are problems with money. Whatever you do for us will be so helpful!"

  "Relax! Soon your money problems will evaporate like the fog on a hot summers day. Sylvia, I see nothing but wealth and happiness for you two."

  "Do you see a trip to Jamaica?"

  "Oh yes, Sylvia, definitely Jamaica. I see blue skies and white clouds. I see emerald green waves breaking on white sandy shores."

  "Oh, Ms. Griffith, I don't know how to thank you for what you've told me. I'm so indebted to you. How I envy you for being able to see the future so clearly!

  "How could this pumpkin head be so gullible," thought Adele. Audibly, she remarked, "Maybe you have some psychic ability too, Sylvia. Remember, you told me last week that I was coming into some money? I did receive an amount during the week. It was completely unexpected. Have you ever had any supernatural training?"

  "Oh, no. Nothing at all. The image in my head last week was only a trick that my mind played on me. I'm sure the money you received was just a coincidence."

  No sooner had Sylvia completed her remark than she gasped and slowly rose from her seat. "I feel so peculiar," she murmured. "I don't know what's happening to me or why. It must be that I'm in the presence of the universal forces that you attract. I'm receiving another revelation about you. It's stronger than the first. Does the name Gordon Cutler mean anything to you? I see that your husband has found out about someone named Gordon and is suing for divorce."

  Adele blanched. "Ridiculous. That's impossible. There's no Gordon in my life."

  The two women stared at each other wordlessly. Adele broke the silence. "I'm afraid I'm exhausted now. I can't continue. I'm sorry. Please come back next week. There is no charge for today. Let yourself out."

  Abruptly, Adele walked away leaving Sylvia gaping. She went directly to the extension phone in her bedroom and phoned her husband. "A spooky woman was just here," she began, "and she told me that, that…"

  "That I'm divorcing you? Yes, Adele, I filed papers today. The grounds are adultery. I've had you followed. I'm naming Gordon Cutler as co-respondent."

  "You dirty weasel, you're not going to do this to me! I won't let you! I'll fight you every step of the way! That hot, painted Jezebel that has you so mesmerized is not going to take my place!" She slammed down the receiver and threw herself on the bed sobbing bitterly.

  On the following day, Adele received a phone call from Sylvia. I've had another vision, Ms. Griffith," she bubbled. "This was the strongest yet. I saw you with winnings of one thousand dollars. I need to place a bet for you at Off-Track Betting. Do I have your permission to do this?"

  "How much will it cost me?" Adele asked suspiciously.

  "One hundred, exclaimed Adele, "but you don't have to give me anything. Let this be a little gift to show you how much I appreciate everything you're doing for Jimmy and me."

  "All right then. Go ahead and bet for me on whichever nag your vision tells you is going to win. But, Sylvia, I don't want to sound unappreciative. I don't think this will go anywhere. Besides, I don't care whether I win or not. I've got problems that a mere thousand dollars is going to solve."

  The next day, Sylvia called with the good news that Adele was one thousand dollars richer. "Thanks for the good news," Adele murmured. "By the way, there's no need for you to call me Ms. Griffith any longer. My name is Adele." They hung up.

  "How did she do that?" Adele wondered as she reached for a chocolate cream. "Could it be that this unattractive, dowdy woman really does have psychic powers? Wouldn't this be ironic? If Sylvia is indeed gifted, how can I cash in on it?" Adele phoned Sylvia.

  "Sylvia, my friend, you know that thousand dollars that I won? Do you suppose that you could roll it over and make another bet for me at Off-Track Betting? Just between us psychics, you suppose you could arrange to have another vision?"

  "Yes, I know I can. I picked up the power at your place. Oh Adele, you've done so much for me. I now want to repay you for all your kindness."

  "Sylvia, my dear," Adele breathed the words dulcetly, "Can you put, say seventy or eighty thousand on the next bet? When you win, that would set me up for life!"

  "Oh yes, I know you'll win, Adele. But I don't have that kind of money. You'll have to give it to me in cash
."

  "Come over at ten tomorrow morning. I'll have the money for you."

  The next morning, Adele waited for the bank to open. She withdrew everything from her money market account. The bank officer asked her if she really wanted to do this and she assured him she did.

  Later at her home, the bell rang and the Adele scurried to the door. It was Sylvia. Adele handed her a bundle of bills.

  "Here, Sylvia," she said. "Vision me up a fortune!"

  "No problem!" Sylvia stated confidently.

  Time passed slowly that day for Adele. She sat next to the phone watching television and eating chocolates. Finally the phone rang and Adele seized it eagerly. Sylvia was on the other end. "Sylvia, I'm so happy you called. What's the good news?"

  "I have information of the greatest importance to you. May I come over?"

  "Oh yes, please do. I can hardly wait!"

  An hour later, Adele opened the door and was surprised to see a slim vision of loveliness standing at the entryway. She had to look twice to make sure who it was. It was Sylvia! What a difference! For the first time, Adele noticed that Sylvia's eyes were a deep blue, set against the background of her coiffured, shiny blonde hair, they sparkled like sapphires. She was dressed in a stunning two-piece black suit and was wearing stylish black stockings to match. There were fancy white ruffles on her blouse. Slung over her shoulder, she carried a Gucci black leather bag.

  "Sylvia, what have you done with yourself? You're beautiful."

  "Sit!" Sylvia's voice was sharp.

  Surprised by the severity of Sylvia's