Earthling Ambassador

  Tyler showed the princess how to paddle with her hands and kick with her legs. "You're not wearing flippers, so you'll have to kick really hard."

  "You!" The princess pointed at Greta. "Get me some of those flipper things immediately!"

  Greta frowned. "On this planet we say please."

  "We don't have any flippers in your size, Princess." Sean swung her board around so it was facing the shore. "Anyway, I'm going to give you a push, so just enjoy the ride.Whatever you do, don't look behind you!"

  A beautiful, smooth, curling wave was heading toward them. It was perfect for boogie boarding but it was very big.

  "Not that one, Sean!" called out Nicola. "At least try a smaller one."

  Sean cupped his hand behind his ear and frowned, shrugging his shoulders and pretending that he couldn't hear what she was saying. Oh, for goodness sake.

  "Ooh, I don't want to watch!" Katie covered her eyes.

  "Is he trying to kill her?" asked Shimlara with interest.

  The wave was nearly upon them.The princess paddled her hands and kicked her legs, imitating Tyler. She looked very determined. Nicola had to admire her.

  "Now hold on tight!" Sean gave the boogie board an almighty shove.

  Clinging on to the sides of the board, the princess plunged headfirst over the crest of the wave. "WHOOOEEEEEEE!" she shrieked as her tiara flew straight off her head and the board streaked toward the shore.

  "She's going too fast," said Greta. "She's going to--"

  The boogie board flipped over and the princess flew through the air, her arms and legs flailing before she crashed into the water.

  "Ouch," winced Shimlara.

  "Uh-oh," said Katie.

  They watched Tyler paddling his board over to the princess.

  "You've made a lot of mistakes, but I'd say that was your worst yet, Nicola," remarked Greta in a satisfied way.

  "I'm sorry, Nic," said Sean glumly.

  Suddenly the princess erupted out of the water. She caught sight of Tyler and lunged toward him, dragging her boogie board behind her, yelling something they couldn't understand.

  "Quick! She's going to kill him," said Nicola. She started to swim over to them, but Sean grabbed her arm, holding her back. He was smiling.What was there to smile about? This was no time for jokes!

  "Listen," he said.

  Nicola listened.

  The princess was shouting, "Again! Again! I want to do it again!"

  CHAPTER 34

  It was much later that day, and the Space Brigade and Princess Petronella sat on the beach wearing old sweats from the trailer. Greta had surprised them by efficiently finding firewood and building a perfect campfire the way she'd learned to in Girl Scouts.

  After swimming, they'd all gone food shopping at the local supermarket (where a girl had approached the princess and Shimlara and begged them to consider joining her basketball team).

  Now Tyler was showing Shimlara how to fry sausages, while Sean toasted bread rolls on the fire, and Katie and Nicola chopped tomatoes. Greta was making disapproving remarks about their cooking techniques and everybody was ignoring her.

  "So every single time you want something to eat you have to cook it yourself?"The princess was stunned that they didn't have Telepathy Chefs on Earth yet.

  "Cooking is fun,"Tyler told the princess. "You can help us by buttering the rolls if you like."

  "I am not trained in the art of'buttering a roll,' Tyler," said the princess. Her hair had fallen out of its bun and was curling in messy tendrils all around her shoulders. She actually looked rather pretty in the crackling light of the fire.

  "You just dip the knife in the butter, like so," demonstrated Sean. "And then smear across the toast. Not too thick. Not too thin. It's not exactly an art."

  To everyone's surprise, the princess took the knife from him and tentatively began buttering the rolls.

  "Oh, look, the colors of the sky are changing!" Shimlara pointed at the horizon, where the sky was turning pink and gold. She explained, "The suns on Globagaskar don't go down slowly like that each night.They just disappear at six o'clock, as if someone has switched off a light."

  Nicola said, "Every time there's an extra beautiful sunset, our mom makes us run outside to watch."

  "Yeah, she won't even let us wait for the commercial break," complained Sean.

  "It's really beautiful," said the princess quietly, almost as if she were speaking to herself.

  "Go, Earth!" whispered Shimlara, while Sean did a silent victory punch in the air behind the princess's back.

  Something is probably about to go wrong again, thought Nicola. But her luck must have been changing, because at that moment she felt a delicate flutter against the top of her hand. It was a butterfly. Its wings were black with an intricate pattern of blue spots like wrapping paper.

  "Oh look, a butterfly," said Nicola casually. "Do you have butterflies on Globagaskar, Princess Petronella?" Of course, she knew perfectly well that they didn't. She held out her wrist to the princess.

  "No, we don't have flying butters."The princess looked enchanted as the butterfly flew straight onto her hand, almost as if it knew it had to help out with the mission. It flew up near the princess's face and caressed her cheek with its wings before it flew off.That butterfly deserved a medal.

  "You just got a butterfly kiss," said Katie. "Now you'll have good luck."

  "Really?"The princess seemed quite dazed.

  "Okay!" said Tyler briskly. "I think the sausages are nearly ready. How are those rolls going?"

  The princess bent her head obediently. "Nearly done."

  As Nicola looked around, she saw that every member of the Space Brigade, even Greta, was trying to suppress a giant grin.Things were looking up.

  She sneaked a look at her countdown watch. It said:

  Tomorrow is the day--Are you nearly done? If not . . . PANIC NOW!!!

  For once, Nicola didn't feel like throwing the watch on the ground and smashing it into a million pieces.There was actually no need to panic.Things were progressing well. After they'd eaten dinner, she would very politely but firmly ask the princess if she would please change her mind about destroying Earth.

  The princess would say "sure, no problem" and apologize profusely for even considering such a thing. After that they would all go to sleep on the beach in their sleeping bags, and the next morning after a delicious celebratory breakfast, they would fly the princess back to Globagaskar.

  Then Nicola could relax and enjoy her birthday. She would probably receive particularly excellent presents because everybody would be so pleased with her.

  Of course, on the other hand, the palace guards could be about to track them down on Earth any second now, the princess could refuse to change her mind (after all, she'd never changed her mind about anything before), and Nicola and the rest of the Space Brigade could be spending her birthday being tortured while Earth was being destroyed.

  Tomorrow was either going to be Nicola's very best birthday ever--or her very worst.

  CHAPTER 35

  ASK NOW! HURRY UP AND ASK HER!

  Nicola wasn't saying a word out loud, but inside her head she was yelling and screaming at herself like Mrs. Zucchini on the hottest day of the year.

  They'd eaten the sausages and Princess Petronella had called them "strangely delicious." She had also gotten a bad attack of the hiccups after drinking a can of Coke and had actually giggled when Sean had teased her about it.Then she'd said the stars in the sky reminded her of the diamonds on the Rainbow Palace back home and had commented on the fact that even though the "yellow dirt" had burned her earlier, it had quite an "unusual texture." Now they were all toasting marshmallows on sticks in the fire, and the princess was asking lots of interested, polite questions.

  She hadn't said one nasty thing about Earth, or in fact one nasty thing at all, for ages. Nicola was almost starting to like her, for heaven's sakes! Now was the absolutely perfect time to ask, but she was suffering from a terrible attac
k of nerves. She couldn't bear to see the princess turn back into her bossy, hard, princessy self, and if she said no, what then? Nicola was all out of ideas.

  She shouted silently at herself: STOP BEING SUCH A COWARDLY CUSTARD!

  It's okay, Nicola, just relax and take your time.You've done a great job so far.

  It was Shimlara's voice inside her head. Nicola looked around for her and saw that she was lying on her stomach on the opposite side of the fire, not even looking at Nicola.

  Nicola responded, I thought it was bad manners to read people's minds without their permission!

  Ooops! Sorry! It's just that you were yelling so loud in your head, I couldn't help but overhear it!

  The princess held up her stick and said, "Can I eat my mershmullow yet?"

  "Marshmallow," corrected Katie gently. She examined the princess's marshmallow. "A perfect golden color! Go ahead."

  The princess opened her mouth to swallow it whole and everybody yelled out at the same time, "CAREFUL, IT'S HOT!"

  The princess stopped with her mouth still open and stared at them.

  "Thank you." She smiled, and nibbled at the side of the marshmallow. "Mmmm, yum! It's all soft and sticky on the inside!"

  "Whenever we go camping," commented Sean, "Mom always burns her marshmallows black. Every single time. She starts talking and forgets what she's doing."

  Nicola laughed. "Yes, and she gets so angry and surprised each time it happens!"

  "Do you get to go on vacations with your parents?" asked the princess.

  "Of course," said Sean. "Don't you?"

  "Never," said the princess. "They like to go on big trekking vacations to mountainous planets and they say my legs are too short to keep up. Plus, someone has to stay at the palace and be in charge of things."

  Greta said, "My parents never take me on vacations, either.They're always going away for big work conferences and they say I'd be bored. So I have to go on vacations with my Auntie Bev, and all she does is knit and drink cups of tea! It makes me so angry!"

  "I know! Me too!" said the princess with surprise.

  "Sometimes," said Greta, "I'm in such a bad mood, I'm really mean to my Auntie Bev, and I make her cry.Then I feel guilty because it's not her fault."

  "I know!"The princess looked really excited. "I make all my servants cry, too! I make them scrub floors even when they don't need scrubbing! Is that what you do to your Auntie Bev?"

  "Ah, not exactly," admitted Greta.

  "And when I'm feeling really cranky," continued the princess, "I do even BIGGER things, like I might just order the army to go and destroy some random planet--oh."

  The princess stopped talking and suddenly seemed to remember where she was.Was she actually blushing? There was silence, except for the crackling of the fire and the crash of waves.

  Interesting. Nicola thought about how sad and difficult it must be to have parents who don't even like you enough to go on vacations with you. She remembered how she'd convinced her mom and dad to take her and Sean to the snow last winter and what a fantastic time they'd all had, even though Nicola's mom really hadn't wanted to go in the first place. She'd thought it would be too cold. Nicola had spent ages convincing her to change her mind, describing all the parts she knew would appeal to her mom--like hot chocolate by the fire and beautiful mountain ranges and Sean and Nicola not fighting at all (which had nearly turned out to be true).

  Actually ... that was an example of a time Nicola had convinced someone to change their mind when their mind was already made up!

  So Georgio hadn't needed to change that last question after all. Her answer to that question should have been yes. She could do it! She was the right person for the job. It was all a matter of understanding the other person's point of view and caring about them enough to try to understand what mattered to them.

  Nicola decided it was now or never.

  She said, "Have you had a good time today, Princess Petronella?"

  The princess lifted her chin. She said, "I think I've had the best day of my whole life."

  YES! Nicola did cartwheels inside her head.

  She stood up on the sand. She felt a bit stupid, but it seemed the right thing to do.

  She said, "Princess Petronella, as the Earthling Ambassador, I would first like to apologize for kidnapping you.We didn't know what else to do.We just wanted you to see our planet for yourself. As you can see, although it's not perfect, it's beautiful, and it's our home, and we love it."

  She took a breath.Tyler nodded at her encouragingly.

  "I'd also like to thank you again for your help on Arth. We wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for you. So, I know I've already asked you this question once before, but I'm going to ask it again. Princess Petronella, will you please change your mind about turning Earth into a garbage can? Please?"

  The princess stood up, too.

  She said, "Okay, I must admit, I was planning to cut off all of your heads and place them around the palace walls as a warning to other kidnappers--ha ha!"

  She stopped laughing when she saw the expressions on their faces.

  "Sorry.Yes. Not that funny. Anyway, I was pretty mad at you, but then I don't know why--this has never happened to me before and it's unbelievable, considering that I'm royalty and you're all just ordinary people, not even nobility, and apart from Shimlara, you're Earthlings--but the thing is, I started to sort of ... like you."

  "We like you, too!" said Katie generously.

  "Sort of," added Sean.

  "Plus," continued the princess, "I like this funny planet. It's fun capturing waves and being kissed by flying butters. That's why I've decided--"

  BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM!

  Suddenly, they couldn't hear a word she was saying. Everybody put their hands over their ears as a sound like a thousand firecrackers exploded above them.

  They looked up.

  It was like the sky had been ripped in two by giant hands and then set on fire.

  Through the gap in the flaming sky, a huge spaceship, the size of a mountain, zoomed straight toward the beach.

  Nicola gulped for air like a drowning person.

  Was it the end of the world already? Was she too late?

  CHAPTER 36

  "It's going to land on us! It's going to land on us!" shrieked Greta with her hands over her head, as if that would be enough to protect her from a crashing spaceship.

  "It's not! It's going to land in the water," yelled Tyler, his head tipped back to look up at the blaze.

  He was right.

  The spaceship crashed straight into the ocean.

  WHOOMPA!

  It hit the water with such a splash, an enormous wave of cold water crashed on to the beach, drenching them all and putting out their fire.

  For a second or two, nobody moved.They stood still, catching their breath and dripping, while their campfire hissed sadly.

  "My mershmullow!"The princess threw down her stick with its soggy marshmallow and stamped her foot. "Why do my mom and dad have to ruin everything?!"

  "Your mom and dad?" said Nicola. "You mean the king and queen of Globagaskar? Is that their spaceship?"

  "Yes, that's the stupid Royal Spaceship."The princess stuck her lower lip out and kicked at the sand.

  Nobody spoke.They all stared at the huge, glittering Royal Spaceship. It was like an entire shopping center had materialized.

  "Look," said Tyler.

  A long door slid open along one side of the spaceship and a metal walkway sprang out across the water to the beach.

  Immediately, about fifty palace guards came jogging briskly across the walkway, each cradling a different scary-looking weapon. As they got to the beach they fell to the ground and began wriggling across the sand on their stomachs.

  "Oh, for crying out loud," said the princess. She walked toward the spaceship waving her hands above her head. "MOM AND DAD! I'M OVER HERE! I'M FINE!"

  A man and woman came running down the walkway, both of them clutching their jewel
-encrusted crowns, purple velvet capes billowing behind them.

  "Our darling NELLY!" they cried.

  "Nelly?" smirked Sean.

  The king and queen stumbled up the beach and threw their arms around the princess.

  "Are you all right? Are you hungry? Are you warm enough? Where is your tiara? Oh, no, you're all WET! Did those dastardly kidnappers do that to you?"

  "YOU got me all wet when you landed the spaceship in the water." The princess pulled away from them. "And they're not dastardly kidnappers! They're my ... friends."

  The queen gasped. "Oh, no! They've brainwashed you!"

  "They have not!"

  "But Nelly, darling."The king lifted his crown and scratched at his balding head. "We hear you gave an order to turn their planet into a garbage can. I don't think these Earthlings would really appreciate that."

  "Yes, but what I was about to say, just before you turned up, was that--"

  The princess took a breath and turned away from her father to face Nicola. "I've changed my mind," she said. "I think Earth is a funny, strange, beautiful planet, and you're very lucky it's your home. I should never have said I'd destroy it. I'm sorry."

  Nicola felt such a fizzy happy feeling she thought she might float away like a balloon.YES! The mission was successful! At last!

  The king and queen looked at their daughter, aghast. "Darling, we're royalty.We don't say that word!"

  "What word?"

  "That word beginning with s."

  "But I am sorry."

  "It doesn't matter.You should never admit it out loud.

  Otherwise people will think we're just like them and that we can make mistakes."

  "But I did make a mistake."

  The queen threw up her hands in frustration. "Nelly, you're going to be the death of me!"

  The king said, "Let's just not hear that sort of language again, Nelly. Now it's true that we would never have approved of your decision to destroy Earth. It's such a dear little planet! What were you thinking? Why not destroy Arth if you felt like destroying a planet? So, we're glad you've come to your senses about that, but there is no need to act like a commoner and apologize.We don't speak like that in our family."

  "Okay, fine, whatever," said the princess. "Do you think you could just go away now? We were toasting marshmallows and then we're going to sleep on the beach and boogie on waves before breakfast!"