The Invisible Man: A Grotesque Romance

  CHAPTER VII

  THE UNVEILING OF THE STRANGER

  The stranger went into the little parlour of the "Coach and Horses"about half-past five in the morning, and there he remained untilnear midday, the blinds down, the door shut, and none, after Hall'srepulse, venturing near him.

  All that time he must have fasted. Thrice he rang his bell, thethird time furiously and continuously, but no one answered him."Him and his 'go to the devil' indeed!" said Mrs. Hall. Presentlycame an imperfect rumour of the burglary at the vicarage, and twoand two were put together. Hall, assisted by Wadgers, went off tofind Mr. Shuckleforth, the magistrate, and take his advice. No oneventured upstairs. How the stranger occupied himself is unknown.Now and then he would stride violently up and down, and twice camean outburst of curses, a tearing of paper, and a violent smashingof bottles.

  The little group of scared but curious people increased. Mrs. Huxtercame over; some gay young fellows resplendent in black ready-madejackets and _pique_ paper ties--for it was Whit Monday--joinedthe group with confused interrogations. Young Archie Harkerdistinguished himself by going up the yard and trying to peepunder the window-blinds. He could see nothing, but gave reasonfor supposing that he did, and others of the Iping youthpresently joined him.

  It was the finest of all possible Whit Mondays, and down thevillage street stood a row of nearly a dozen booths, a shootinggallery, and on the grass by the forge were three yellow andchocolate waggons and some picturesque strangers of both sexesputting up a cocoanut shy. The gentlemen wore blue jerseys, theladies white aprons and quite fashionable hats with heavy plumes.Wodger, of the "Purple Fawn," and Mr. Jaggers, the cobbler, whoalso sold old second-hand ordinary bicycles, were stretching astring of union-jacks and royal ensigns (which had originallycelebrated the first Victorian Jubilee) across the road.

  And inside, in the artificial darkness of the parlour, into whichonly one thin jet of sunlight penetrated, the stranger, hungry wemust suppose, and fearful, hidden in his uncomfortable hot wrappings,pored through his dark glasses upon his paper or chinked his dirtylittle bottles, and occasionally swore savagely at the boys, audibleif invisible, outside the windows. In the corner by the fireplacelay the fragments of half a dozen smashed bottles, and a pungenttwang of chlorine tainted the air. So much we know from what washeard at the time and from what was subsequently seen in the room.

  About noon he suddenly opened his parlour door and stood glaringfixedly at the three or four people in the bar. "Mrs. Hall," hesaid. Somebody went sheepishly and called for Mrs. Hall.

  Mrs. Hall appeared after an interval, a little short of breath, butall the fiercer for that. Hall was still out. She had deliberatedover this scene, and she came holding a little tray with anunsettled bill upon it. "Is it your bill you're wanting, sir?" shesaid.

  "Why wasn't my breakfast laid? Why haven't you prepared my mealsand answered my bell? Do you think I live without eating?"

  "Why isn't my bill paid?" said Mrs. Hall. "That's what I want toknow."

  "I told you three days ago I was awaiting a remittance--"

  "I told you two days ago I wasn't going to await no remittances.You can't grumble if your breakfast waits a bit, if my bill's beenwaiting these five days, can you?"

  The stranger swore briefly but vividly.

  "Nar, nar!" from the bar.

  "And I'd thank you kindly, sir, if you'd keep your swearing toyourself, sir," said Mrs. Hall.

  The stranger stood looking more like an angry diving-helmet thanever. It was universally felt in the bar that Mrs. Hall had thebetter of him. His next words showed as much.

  "Look here, my good woman--" he began.

  "Don't 'good woman' _me_," said Mrs. Hall.

  "I've told you my remittance hasn't come."

  "Remittance indeed!" said Mrs. Hall.

  "Still, I daresay in my pocket--"

  "You told me three days ago that you hadn't anything but asovereign's worth of silver upon you."

  "Well, I've found some more--"

  "'Ul-lo!" from the bar.

  "I wonder where you found it," said Mrs. Hall.

  That seemed to annoy the stranger very much. He stamped his foot."What do you mean?" he said.

  "That I wonder where you found it," said Mrs. Hall. "And before Itake any bills or get any breakfasts, or do any such thingswhatsoever, you got to tell me one or two things I don't understand,and what nobody don't understand, and what everybody is very anxiousto understand. I want to know what you been doing t'my chairupstairs, and I want to know how 'tis your room was empty, and howyou got in again. Them as stops in this house comes in by thedoors--that's the rule of the house, and that you _didn't_ do, andwhat I want to know is how you _did_ come in. And I want to know--"

  Suddenly the stranger raised his gloved hands clenched, stamped hisfoot, and said, "Stop!" with such extraordinary violence that hesilenced her instantly.

  "You don't understand," he said, "who I am or what I am. I'll showyou. By Heaven! I'll show you." Then he put his open palm over hisface and withdrew it. The centre of his face became a black cavity."Here," he said. He stepped forward and handed Mrs. Hall somethingwhich she, staring at his metamorphosed face, accepted automatically.Then, when she saw what it was, she screamed loudly, dropped it, andstaggered back. The nose--it was the stranger's nose! pink andshining--rolled on the floor.

  Then he removed his spectacles, and everyone in the bar gasped. Hetook off his hat, and with a violent gesture tore at his whiskersand bandages. For a moment they resisted him. A flash of horribleanticipation passed through the bar. "Oh, my Gard!" said some one.Then off they came.

  It was worse than anything. Mrs. Hall, standing open-mouthed andhorror-struck, shrieked at what she saw, and made for the door ofthe house. Everyone began to move. They were prepared for scars,disfigurements, tangible horrors, but nothing! The bandages andfalse hair flew across the passage into the bar, making ahobbledehoy jump to avoid them. Everyone tumbled on everyone elsedown the steps. For the man who stood there shouting some incoherentexplanation, was a solid gesticulating figure up to the coat-collarof him, and then--nothingness, no visible thing at all!

  People down the village heard shouts and shrieks, and looking upthe street saw the "Coach and Horses" violently firing out itshumanity. They saw Mrs. Hall fall down and Mr. Teddy Henfrey jumpto avoid tumbling over her, and then they heard the frightfulscreams of Millie, who, emerging suddenly from the kitchen at thenoise of the tumult, had come upon the headless stranger frombehind. These increased suddenly.

  Forthwith everyone all down the street, the sweetstuff seller,cocoanut shy proprietor and his assistant, the swing man, littleboys and girls, rustic dandies, smart wenches, smocked eldersand aproned gipsies--began running towards the inn, and in amiraculously short space of time a crowd of perhaps forty people,and rapidly increasing, swayed and hooted and inquired andexclaimed and suggested, in front of Mrs. Hall's establishment.Everyone seemed eager to talk at once, and the result was Babel. Asmall group supported Mrs. Hall, who was picked up in a state ofcollapse. There was a conference, and the incredible evidence of avociferous eye-witness. "O Bogey!" "What's he been doin', then?""Ain't hurt the girl, 'as 'e?" "Run at en with a knife, I believe.""No 'ed, I tell ye. I don't mean no manner of speaking. I mean _marn'ithout a 'ed_!" "Narnsense! 'tis some conjuring trick." "Fetchedoff 'is wrapping, 'e did--"

  In its struggles to see in through the open door, the crowd formeditself into a straggling wedge, with the more adventurous apexnearest the inn. "He stood for a moment, I heerd the gal scream,and he turned. I saw her skirts whisk, and he went after her.Didn't take ten seconds. Back he comes with a knife in uz hand anda loaf; stood just as if he was staring. Not a moment ago. Went inthat there door. I tell 'e, 'e ain't gart no 'ed at all. You justmissed en--"

  There was a disturbance behind, and the speaker stopped to stepaside for a little procession that was marching very resolutelytowards the house; first Mr. Hall, very red and determined, thenMr. Bobby Jaffers, the village cons
table, and then the wary Mr.Wadgers. They had come now armed with a warrant.

  People shouted conflicting information of the recent circumstances."'Ed or no 'ed," said Jaffers, "I got to 'rest en, and 'rest en I_will_."

  Mr. Hall marched up the steps, marched straight to the door of theparlour and flung it open. "Constable," he said, "do your duty."

  Jaffers marched in. Hall next, Wadgers last. They saw in the dimlight the headless figure facing them, with a gnawed crust of breadin one gloved hand and a chunk of cheese in the other.

  "That's him!" said Hall.

  "What the devil's this?" came in a tone of angry expostulation fromabove the collar of the figure.

  "You're a damned rum customer, mister," said Mr. Jaffers. "But 'edor no 'ed, the warrant says 'body,' and duty's duty--"

  "Keep off!" said the figure, starting back.

  Abruptly he whipped down the bread and cheese, and Mr. Hall justgrasped the knife on the table in time to save it. Off came thestranger's left glove and was slapped in Jaffers' face. In anothermoment Jaffers, cutting short some statement concerning a warrant,had gripped him by the handless wrist and caught his invisiblethroat. He got a sounding kick on the shin that made him shout, buthe kept his grip. Hall sent the knife sliding along the table toWadgers, who acted as goal-keeper for the offensive, so to speak,and then stepped forward as Jaffers and the stranger swayed andstaggered towards him, clutching and hitting in. A chair stood inthe way, and went aside with a crash as they came down together.

  "Get the feet," said Jaffers between his teeth.

  Mr. Hall, endeavouring to act on instructions, received a soundingkick in the ribs that disposed of him for a moment, and Mr.Wadgers, seeing the decapitated stranger had rolled over and gotthe upper side of Jaffers, retreated towards the door, knife inhand, and so collided with Mr. Huxter and the Sidderbridge cartercoming to the rescue of law and order. At the same moment down camethree or four bottles from the chiffonnier and shot a web ofpungency into the air of the room.

  "I'll surrender," cried the stranger, though he had Jaffers down,and in another moment he stood up panting, a strange figure,headless and handless--for he had pulled off his right glove nowas well as his left. "It's no good," he said, as if sobbing forbreath.

  It was the strangest thing in the world to hear that voice comingas if out of empty space, but the Sussex peasants are perhaps themost matter-of-fact people under the sun. Jaffers got up also andproduced a pair of handcuffs. Then he stared.

  "I say!" said Jaffers, brought up short by a dim realization of theincongruity of the whole business, "Darn it! Can't use 'em as I cansee."

  The stranger ran his arm down his waistcoat, and as if by a miraclethe buttons to which his empty sleeve pointed became undone. Thenhe said something about his shin, and stooped down. He seemed to befumbling with his shoes and socks.

  "Why!" said Huxter, suddenly, "that's not a man at all. It's justempty clothes. Look! You can see down his collar and the linings ofhis clothes. I could put my arm--"

  He extended his hand; it seemed to meet something in mid-air, andhe drew it back with a sharp exclamation. "I wish you'd keep yourfingers out of my eye," said the aerial voice, in a tone of savageexpostulation. "The fact is, I'm all here--head, hands, legs, andall the rest of it, but it happens I'm invisible. It's a confoundednuisance, but I am. That's no reason why I should be poked topieces by every stupid bumpkin in Iping, is it?"

  The suit of clothes, now all unbuttoned and hanging loosely uponits unseen supports, stood up, arms akimbo.

  Several other of the men folks had now entered the room, so that itwas closely crowded. "Invisible, eh?" said Huxter, ignoring thestranger's abuse. "Who ever heard the likes of that?"

  "It's strange, perhaps, but it's not a crime. Why am I assaulted bya policeman in this fashion?"

  "Ah! that's a different matter," said Jaffers. "No doubt you are abit difficult to see in this light, but I got a warrant and it'sall correct. What I'm after ain't no invisibility,--it's burglary.There's a house been broke into and money took."

  "Well?"

  "And circumstances certainly point--"

  "Stuff and nonsense!" said the Invisible Man.

  "I hope so, sir; but I've got my instructions."

  "Well," said the stranger, "I'll come. I'll _come_. But nohandcuffs."

  "It's the regular thing," said Jaffers.

  "No handcuffs," stipulated the stranger.

  "Pardon me," said Jaffers.

  Abruptly the figure sat down, and before any one could realise waswas being done, the slippers, socks, and trousers had been kickedoff under the table. Then he sprang up again and flung off his coat.

  "Here, stop that," said Jaffers, suddenly realising what washappening. He gripped at the waistcoat; it struggled, and the shirtslipped out of it and left it limp and empty in his hand. "Holdhim!" said Jaffers, loudly. "Once he gets the things off--"

  "Hold him!" cried everyone, and there was a rush at the flutteringwhite shirt which was now all that was visible of the stranger.

  The shirt-sleeve planted a shrewd blow in Hall's face that stoppedhis open-armed advance, and sent him backward into old Toothsomethe sexton, and in another moment the garment was lifted up andbecame convulsed and vacantly flapping about the arms, even as ashirt that is being thrust over a man's head. Jaffers clutched atit, and only helped to pull it off; he was struck in the mouth outof the air, and incontinently threw his truncheon and smote TeddyHenfrey savagely upon the crown of his head.

  "Look out!" said everybody, fencing at random and hitting atnothing. "Hold him! Shut the door! Don't let him loose! I gotsomething! Here he is!" A perfect Babel of noises they made.Everybody, it seemed, was being hit all at once, and Sandy Wadgers,knowing as ever and his wits sharpened by a frightful blow in thenose, reopened the door and led the rout. The others, followingincontinently, were jammed for a moment in the corner by thedoorway. The hitting continued. Phipps, the Unitarian, had a fronttooth broken, and Henfrey was injured in the cartilage of his ear.Jaffers was struck under the jaw, and, turning, caught at somethingthat intervened between him and Huxter in the melee, and preventedtheir coming together. He felt a muscular chest, and in anothermoment the whole mass of struggling, excited men shot out into thecrowded hall.

  "I got him!" shouted Jaffers, choking and reeling through them all,and wrestling with purple face and swelling veins against hisunseen enemy.

  Men staggered right and left as the extraordinary conflict swayedswiftly towards the house door, and went spinning down thehalf-dozen steps of the inn. Jaffers cried in a strangledvoice--holding tight, nevertheless, and making play with hisknee--spun around, and fell heavily undermost with his head onthe gravel. Only then did his fingers relax.

  There were excited cries of "Hold him!" "Invisible!" and so forth,and a young fellow, a stranger in the place whose name did not cometo light, rushed in at once, caught something, missed his hold,and fell over the constable's prostrate body. Half-way across theroad a woman screamed as something pushed by her; a dog, kickedapparently, yelped and ran howling into Huxter's yard, and withthat the transit of the Invisible Man was accomplished. For a spacepeople stood amazed and gesticulating, and then came panic, andscattered them abroad through the village as a gust scatters deadleaves.

  But Jaffers lay quite still, face upward and knees bent, at the footof the steps of the inn.