To Love a No Good Nigga

  “So, you and Piccolo are back together.”

  Aw, shit, here we go. My heart thundered in my chest but I kept my face neutral. I had learned a long time ago not to let Dean see you sweat. “Are we?”

  “Don’t toy with me, Raven.” He leaned back in his seat and lit a cigar. The scent made me want to toss my cookies all over the plush carpet. “But…We can deal with that later. Now, we have some more important shit to discuss.”

  I waved my hand in front of my face. “California?”

  “Yeah.” His assessing eyes burned a whole into mine. “What’s wrong with you? Cigar smoke never used to bother you.”

  “I guess I’m not used to it anymore,” I lied smoothly, praying he’d let it go.

  “Hmm…Well, I need you be at the car rental company first thing in the morning on Saturday after you meet me here. I’ve taken the liberty of reserving a small nondescript sedan for you.” He tossed two envelopes in my lap, one small and the other large. “One is for your expenses, hotels, food, and what not. The other is for the Colombians. You give them the money, they give you the work, and you bring your ass back home. Simple, right?”

  It was simple, too simple, but I wasn’t about to complain. “And after I do this you’ll leave me alone, right?”

  “I’ll be out of your pretty hair forever, baby girl.”

  Putting the envelopes in my oversized purse, I nodded and made my way out the door. There were no more words needed. Everything was set to go. I would do this one thing for Dean and I would have my life back.

  Stepping out in the warm spring air, everything seemed much brighter. I had the love of my life, the devil was going back into his fiery cavern, and I was having a healthy baby. What could possibly go wrong?

  Chapter 46

 

  SPARROW

  How dare Blue think that he, the youngest, could tell me what to do? I had never listened to anyone’s advice before and I wasn’t going to start now.

  All of a sudden he and Ty thought they were some type of hardnosed criminals. They had been either smoking too much weed or watching too many music videos. It was probably both. Everybody knew that they weren’t anything but some nerds. Naw, I had to handle this shit myself.

  Yesterday, Blue called to tell me that he, Ty, and Ced were going to make the delivery for me and to talk to Sherry. I could only roll my eyes in disgust. Yeah, psychos really listened to reason. So, that was why I was getting things together myself.

  Getting the money together had taken a little longer and proved to be more difficult than I originally thought. I had a good three hundred thousand in the bank but that was nowhere the amount Sherry asked for.

  I didn’t want to ask ‘Zay for the money because he’d want to know what I was going to do with a few hundred stacks. It was hard enough for me to use the bathroom without the man waiting outside the door for me. I loved that man but, damn, could he let me breathe?

  I couldn’t ask either of my sisters or my parents for the cash because word would get back to Blue and I wasn’t in the mood to argue with that man. I contemplated taking out a loan on the business but I didn’t want to jeopardize the business in this slow economy because of my mistakes. So in the end I had to settle for a personal loan.

  Riding through the streets of the suburbs, I dialed Sherry’s number. “It’s me.”

  “Sparrow, how lovely of you to call me.”

  I rolled my eyes. Sherry was getting on my last fucking nerve. I wanted to tell her about herself but as my grandmother used to say “Only a fool argues with fools.” So, I remained cool, calm and collected.

  “Look Sherry, I have your money.”

  “Good,” she sneered. I could practically taste the greed. “When can I expect it?”

  “I can drop it Thursday around nine. That’s two days away. Does that work for you?”

  “It sure does. Meet me at this address…”

  I listened intently as she rattled off an address deep in Aurora before hanging up. Anxiety filled the pit of my stomach and I thought I would have to pull over. Taking a deep breath, I calmed down. I tried to remember that after Thursday my life would go back to its peaceful state. I felt the apprehension drift from me slowly only to return when I arrived at the office.

  In front of LadyBird Interior Designs was a media circus. Camera crews from all the major networks, journalists from all the major papers, and spectators stood on the sidewalk in front of our business. Light bulbs flashed as I pulled into the small parking lot.

  I checked my makeup in the rearview mirror, adjusted my Fendi sunglasses, and grabbed my attaché case. As soon as my Giuseppe heel touched the pavement cameras and microphones were thrust in my face. I smoothed the silhouette of my red Alice + Olivia peplum skirt suit and held my head high as I waded through the crowd.

  “Ms. Bird, how do you feel about the case against Princeton Tillers?”

  I continued walking towards the building.

  “Do you have a comment about his treatment of your sister?”

  I didn’t bother to answer.

  “Some say your sister brought this on herself. Do you agree?”

  That question stopped me dead in my tracks. Slowly I turned towards the young journalist who asked the question. My expertly arched left eyebrow inched up and my painted lips twisted in a scowl. “My sister may not have handled the entire situation in the best possible way however, that does not give Mr. Tillers the right to physically assault her. There is no reason on this Earth for a man to lay his hands on a woman especially one that is carrying his child.”

  I turned and continued my trek to the office. I opened the heavy door and locked it behind me, the clamoring of questions temporarily shut off. I walked into the conference room and started a pot of coffee. My sisters would be there any minute. I set out the agenda and a platter of snacks. I had just sat in one of the soft leather chairs when the Robin and Raven walked in.

  Raven went straight for the food. Her pregnancy had her eating every second of the day. I had never seen a person stuff their face so much. It was like she was eating for six instead of two. The way Pierre was waiting on her hand and foot you would have thought the woman was carrying the heir to the throne.

  Robin poured a cup of coffee, a self-satisfied smile gracing her face. This gave me pause. Robin didn’t like distractions of any kind. Interrupting her was akin to playing Russian roulette. So for her to seem so unruffled by the frenzy outside of our building unsettled me.

  “Um…Robin, please tell me you didn’t plan this.”

  Her eyes shifted to the left, a telltale sign she was guilty.

  “God damn it, Robin! What were you thinking? In case you’ve forgotten I’ve got a stalker out there. The last thing I need is the press outside of here. Shit!”

  Robin’s fist landed on the polished wood with a thud. Her wet eyes held the wildness of a woman on the edge. “He deserved everything he got and more! I lost my only child at the hands of the man I loved. Excuse the hell out of me if I derive a little pleasure from his downfall. None of you can say that you wouldn’t enjoy watching Dean’s or your stalker’s lives crumble right before your eyes.”

  Silence filled the room as both Raven and I mulled over her statement. Yeah, I would love to see Sherry take a flying leap but I wouldn’t jeopardize everything to see it happen. I also wouldn’t knowingly put my sisters in danger to see it happen.

  Raven’s maternal instincts kicked in and she rubbed Robin’s back in an attempt to soothe her. I rolled my eyes. “Robin, both Sparrow and I understand how you are feeling right now. I think that maybe you should take some time off to get it together...”

  “Hell no,” I interrupted. “The last thing she needs is to be alone with her thoughts.”

  “Sparrow! That is really insensitive.”

  “Fuck insensitive. Robin has lost her damn mind.” I gathered my purse and headed to the conference
room door. Ignoring Robin’s tears and Raven’s glare, I continued to speak my mind, “I really hope you know what you’re doing. I’d hate to see this bite you in the ass.”

  I left the room and put my sunglasses on in the lobby. Taking a few deep breaths I tried to calm down. Things were getting more and more out of hand. As I prepared to wade through the crowd outside the office a sense of foreboding enveloped me. Something bad was about to happen but I wasn’t sure if was me, Robin, or Raven that was going to be on the receiving end of a sinister plan.

  I knew that once I gave Sherry the money I would be free of her. If Raven played her cards right she could be free from Dean and be able to have her child and build a family with Pierre peacefully. That only left Robin.

  If I had learned anything over the last few months it was that nothing was more deadly than a scorned woman. In her plan to take down Princeton Tillers Robin had forgotten one detail, Anita. Anita may have been mousy and quiet but something told me not to sleep on her. My grandmother always said that it was the quiet ones you had to watch out for. I had learned that the hard way. I prayed that Robin wouldn’t have to.

  Chapter 47

  ROBIN

  I had done it! I had destroyed Princeton Tillers. While I was lounging on my couch with a glass of wine he was sitting in a jail cell trying to protect his virgin ass. The family he had neglected to tell me about and then turned his back on me for was sitting in their house watching their lives crumble before them. Yes, I had done it. I had accomplished my goal. So, why was I so miserable?

  The answer was simple. I was still alone. Sparrow has gotten back together with Isaiah. Raven and Pierre had reconciled. Blue had his friends Ty and Ced. My parents, though unhappy, had each other. I was the only one alone and lonely as hell.

  This startling revelation propelled me off the couch. I climbed the stairs and looked at the first room on the left. My shaking hand gripped the cool brass handle and slowly turned the knob. I flipped the switch and my breath burned in my lungs at the sight before me.

  A hand carved white crib sat center stage on the gleaming hardwood floors. Pale yellows and greens made the room suitable for a baby boy or baby girl. The walls were painted in a wraparound mural that depicted a scene of a meadow on a spring day. Tall blades of grass sprouted from the baseboards. The bright blue sky with fluffy white clouds seemed to float from the top of the walls to the ceiling and the yellow sun beamed on the flowers and gleaming pond.

  I sat on a rocking chair near one of the dressers and hugged a soft stuffed teddy bear to my chest, my feet resting on a hand woven rug. Tears cascaded down my puffy cheeks unchecked. I was all alone. All I had was this fucking house.

  This house was made for families not a single woman. It was filled to the rafters with emptiness just like me. I wasn’t sad, depressed, or crazy. I was empty, hollow, and barren like the deserts in Nevada. This house held all the memories I would like to forget. How was I to move on with my life if I kept coming home to the house of horrors every night?

  “You can’t.”

  I gasped in surprised and my head snapped up. Blue was leaning casually against the doorjamb, the set of keys I gave him dangling on his left index finger. I didn’t realize until that moment that I had been speaking out loud. That was the thing about living alone; you tended to speak out loud just to hear a voice in the house.

  “What’s up Blue?” I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes. The attempt was futile as I couldn’t have stopped producing more liquid pain if my life depended on it.

  “I should be asking you that. Sparrow called me…”

  Stupid bitch, I thought to myself.

  “And she thinks that you need help. I agree with her.”

  “I don’t need anybody’s help. I’m fine,” I lied.

  I was anything but fine. Here I was talking to myself in the room of my dead child that I had trapped a man into giving me. The same man that I had intentionally gotten locked up after my scheme of getting him to leave his wife didn’t pan out. Yeah, I was as far removed from fine as one could be. I prayed that he could read the desperation in my eyes and hear the cry for help in my voice. I needed him.

  Blue tossed the keys in the air and caught them repeatedly before turning his attention to me. “Yeah, well, that’s too damn bad. You’re coming back to New York with me. I think it’s best if we get you out of Chicago for a while.”

  “Blue…”

  “I don’t want to hear it, Robin.” His eyes turned hard. “You’re leaving and that’s final. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you can come back in a year or so. You’re also selling this house. I told you when you bought it that it was too damn big but you didn’t listen. Now look at you. You’re sitting in the nursery of your dead child holding on to a stuffed animal and crying drunken tears. You need to get your shit together. I’ll be back for you on Sunday. That’s four days away so you better get started packing and putting a sign in the yard.”

  With that, he was gone. I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t think that this was some sort of intervention. Hell, I was glad that he had done it. As the eldest I sometimes thought that I knew best. Now, I knew that I didn’t know a damned thing.

  Getting up from the chair, I wiped my eyes and willed myself to stop the waterworks. I raced down the stairs and called a moving company I had worked with in the past. Next, I dialed the number to the only person I knew would help me with the sale of the house on such short notice with no questions asked.

  Forty-five minutes later Cedric was sitting across from me, concern lurking in his chocolate depths. Once upon a time he and I were destined to be together. If I hadn’t fucked that up the same way I had fucked everything else in my life up then I may have had the family I so desperately craved.

  Cedric was handsome as hell. Deep chocolate skin that held not one single blemish or scar though he was a bit of a head banger back in the day. His 6’2” height and muscular build made me feel safe around him. Deep dimples caressed either side of his full lips and his white teeth were so even that one would think they were fakes. He was a few years older than Blue, but at the age of 28 he had the maturity of a man in his forties.

  “Thanks for coming over on such short notice, Ced,” I said, sitting on the sofa next to him.

  “Don’t worry about it, Robin. You know I always got you.”

  The way his eyes caressed me made me nervous. I wiped my sweaty palms across the rough denim of my jeans and cleared my throat. “So, I’m moving to New York and I need to sell the house.”

  “You’re moving with Blue?” he asked. His body was rigid and his eyes bored into mine.

  “Yeah, I need to get away from Chicago. I can’t move forward if I’m stuck in the place that has brought me so many painful memories.

  “There aren’t any good ones?” he whispered.

  I sighed and looked anywhere but at him. I knew what he was asking and the reason behind it. Cedric was my first in many ways. Unlike my sisters who were hot in the pants, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 23 years old. Cedric was 19. He and I had hooked up over Christmas break and were pretty much inseparable during that entire month I was home from college. He loved me but I thought I was too mature to be with him. Forget the fact that he had made me a woman. I threw the love he had for me back in his face and kept it moving.

  I wished I hadn’t done that. I wished I had been woman enough to try to make it work. If I had, Lord only knows how my life could have turned out. Looking into his eyes, I knew that if I wanted to I could reach out and take what he was once again offering but I couldn’t. I was too damaged to give him the love he deserved back.

  Taking a deep breath, I broke his heart for the second time in ten years. “No, there aren’t any good ones.”

  The light in his eyes flickered and then dimmed. He nodded his head and stood. “I’ll take care of th
e house for you, Robin. Don’t worry about it. I hope things work out for you in New York. Maybe then you can throw away the bad memories that have shrouded the good ones.”

  Cedric leaned over and kissed me on the forehead, his lips lingering longer than they should have. His lips smoothly moved from my brow to my lips and gently probed them open. Our eager tongues danced together in a rhythm that I had thought long forgotten. Pleasure that I only felt with him erupted in my chest and poured through our joined lips.

  Backing away from me, Cedric allowed his gaze to get its fill. “One year, Robin,” he whispered breathlessly.

  “Huh?” I asked, my mind still muddled from the explosive kiss.

  “You have one year to get your shit together and then I’m coming for you.”

  He turned and left the house. A smile spread across my lips. I didn’t know if it would work between us. All I knew was that I was tired of over analyzing our situation. For once, I was going to go with the flow. I hopped from the couch and ran up the stairs. I opened my closet and dressers and began packing my bags. I only had a year and I had to be ready for when Cedric would come and make me his woman.

  Chapter 48

  BLUE

  “What’s up with him?”

  Ty looked at me and shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s been happy for no reason for the last day and a half.”

  I rolled my eyes in disgust. He had seen Robin a day and a half ago. I didn’t know what had happened between them years back, but they hadn’t been the same. All I knew was that I couldn’t handle another one of my boys falling for one of my sisters. There was always too much drama when they realized what I had figured out a long time ago, my sisters weren’tshit.

  “Blue, I want to tell you something and I don’t care if you beat my ass.”

  Here we go, I thought to myself.

  “I’m marrying Robin.”

  “What?” I had taken two steps towards him before Ty pulled me back in my seat.

  “I love her man. I always have. I know I should’ve told you years ago that we had messed around…”