Commencement

  *****

  Tim and Tamiko had been to about 15 different stores in Midtown, when Tim finally settled on buying his mom a Hermes handbag and matching belt that Tamiko had picked out. He even offered to buy Tamiko something for her help, but she wouldn’t let him. She wasn’t going to give him any mixed signals. Then Tim suggested they stop and have something to eat before they headed back. He allowed her to pick the spot and she decided on Manny’s pizza shop on 57th and Lexington Ave. Tamiko ordered a plain cheese slice with a sprite, and Tim just ordered a can of ginger ale. They were sitting at one of the small tables in the back of the shop.

  “Thanks for coming out with me today on such short notice. I really appreciate it. It’s just that next week, I wouldn’t have been able to find the time.”

  “It’s no problem. Is that all you’re going to have after all that walking around?”

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  “I noticed you didn’t eat much at Emily Ann’s last night, either. And that ginger ale just says, ‘I have stomach trouble’ all over it. Are you feeling okay?”

  “It’s not a big deal. It’s part bad diet, part stress related.”

  “Does the stress part have anything to do with that new vice president you were telling me about last night?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Tim, I don’t think it’s fair that you should have to work yourself sick like this. Why don’t you just tell your boss that things aren’t working out? Maybe he can move this guy somewhere else and you can get another VP.”

  “Because I work in corporate America, Tamiko. As a manager in the corporate world, I have to know how to work with each person in the department to get them to produce. If I complain to the bosses they may think I’m the one who’s not effective. On top of that, they’ll think I’m a whiner. Besides, most of the higher ups are in love with Preston, and they don’t really care for me and in the business world, favor can take you where talent can’t.”

  Tamiko wanted to tell him that God’s favor was more important than man’s favor, but she remembered what happened at Emily Ann’s.

  “They’ve got to like something about you. I mean you’re still there after the downsizing.”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes I think they just want me to train Preston and then once he’s got the hang of everything, they’ll hand me my walking papers, too.”

  “That’s crazy! One man can’t do all of that work by himself.”

  “I’m doing it already.”

  “So, shouldn’t that make you more valuable to them?”

  “Valuable, but not irreplaceable.”

  “Well, I think you’re irreplaceable”, Tamiko found herself blurting out.

  “Really? What makes you say that?” asked Tim looking at Tamiko rather intensely. For a split second Tamiko saw a very different Tim. Not the cocky, arrogant, pretentious know it all persona he projected most of the time, but someone much more vulnerable and human. For the first time since she had known him, he actually seemed to be seeking validation rather than granting it. It softened her toward him, but at the same time made her feel a little ill at ease.

  “You’re one of the smartest guys I know.”

  Tim seemed to take that as if she were patronizing him with a trite cliché, and sat back stiffly in his chair.

  “Now you sound like my mom. C’mon, Miko, there are tons of smart guys out there.”

  “But you’re also loyal, tenacious, resourceful….”

  “You mean like a German Shepherd?” he griped, rolling his eyes.

  “Sorry. I was only trying to be a friend.”

  “I know…” he whispered regretfully. “It’s just that…never mind. I’m sorry.”

  “Apology accepted. So when is your mom’s birthday?”

  “Wednesday. She’s going to be the big 50. But don’t tell her I told you. Most people think she’s 35 and she’s not the type to correct them.”

  “I totally get it. My mom is the same way. So does she always have such expensive tastes, or are you giving her a special treat?”

  “My mom is a total diva, so with her it has to be the best. The hard part is finding something she doesn’t already have. Since she’s a systems analyst with her own firm she can afford to buy most of the things she wants for herself.”

  “So your mom has her own money?”

  “Yes. She’s not the ‘white man’s whore’ that Richard makes her out to be. She comes from money. Not Bloomberg money mind you, but good money. We’re from what you would call the ‘black elite’.”

  “You mean like that book “Our Kind of People”?”

  “Exactly like that.”

  “So how did she meet your dad?”

  “She met my dad when the company she used to work for got a contract from the company that my dad owned. She was the leading analyst on a project to upgrade the accounting software system that was being used in his company. They ended up working closely together and having an affair, which resulted in yours truly.”

  “Were they in love?” Tamiko asked, but then upon further thought realized the impertinence of her question. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that. I’m just too nosy for my own good at times.”

  “It’s fine. I don’t really mind talking about it…with you, anyway. But even I don’t know the answer to that question. Sometimes I think they were, and then other times… I’m not sure. He was engaged around the time of the affair, and my mom knew it, but she didn’t care. Then she got pregnant and she wanted him to dump his fiancée and marry her, but he said that dumping his fiancée would’ve amounted to career suicide. He’d lose face with a lot of people he couldn’t afford to, and subsequently lose his means of making money. So he told my mom if she kept everything on the ‘down low’, he’d make sure we were well taken care of. If she didn’t, everyone involved would be ruined.”

  “Your mom told you all this?”

  “Of course not. My parent’s have never actually tried to explain any of it to me. It’s basically what I was able to piece together by eavesdropping on all the hushed conversations behind closed doors over the years.”

  “So, I guess your parents don’t get along very well.”

  “Actually, they get along quite well. If they didn’t I wouldn’t have a younger sister.”

  “You mean you two have the same dad?”

  “Uh, duh. I thought you knew that.”

  “You mean your mom had another child for him? Even after he insulted her like that?”

  “He wasn’t trying to insult her. He was just telling her how it was and she accepted it. We don’t live in a perfect world, Miko. Sometimes you have to be willing to make a compromise if you’re going to get by.”

  “And you’re fine with all this?”

  “Why shouldn’t I be? Getting upset over it isn’t going to change anything. Besides, it’s not like I don’t know who my father is, or he’s never spent time with me. He’s done quite a lot for me actually.”

  “I’m sure he has” Tamiko said doubtfully.

  “If you’re going to pass judgment on my family…”

  “I wasn’t trying to pass judgment…”

  “Yes you were. You probably think that my dad should have just thrown caution to the wind and just up and married my mom and that would have solved everything. In the real world everything isn’t so cut and dried. He tried to do what was best for everyone given the circumstances. At least he provided for my sister and I. A lot of other men would have done nothing at all.”

  “Tim, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…you’re right. I don’t know enough about your family or your situation. Besides, no family is perfect. Not even mine. My mom and dad had their own issues, too. They almost ended up getting a divorce at one point.”

  “Really? Who wanted out? Your mom or your dad?”

  “My mom. She couldn’t handle the fact that the Pastor had to be on call 24/7 for members in the church. She especially hated it when he had to attend to the female members,
and believe me, I think she was justified in that. Some of them were total church groupies.”

  “I guess it’s the whole man with power thing.”

  “You could say that. Anyway, my mom was constantly accusing him of cheating with other women and my dad accused her of trying to sabotage his work for the Lord. At one point things got so bad that my mom took me all the way to Atlanta to start a new life for herself. I was only 9 years old. I didn’t know if I would ever see my dad again. It was one of the scariest times of my life.”

  “How long were you away?”

  “About a year.”

  “That is a long time. How did your parents work things out?”

  “I have no idea. When I was a little girl I would just pray to God that He would put my family back together. I just kept praying that prayer every single day. Then one day my dad showed up to talk to my mom. My grandmother took me out for ice-cream while they talked and when I came back, my mother said we were all going to be living together again.”

  “And you lived happily ever after.”

  “Not necessarily. My parents still have disagreements sometimes, but they work them out.”

  “And your dad should be the expert at that.”

  “I don’t know if he would agree with that.”

  “Speaking of your dad, what was with the third degree he was giving me when I walked in?”

  “He’s just a little over-protective when it comes to his baby girl, that’s all.”

  “I’ll say. And it’s not like we haven’t met before.”

  “But he doesn’t know you like he does Allen or Jim. You don’t come around as often.”

  “Maybe we should change that”, smiled Tim.

  “How so?” Tamiko asked warily.

  “Lately, I’ve been thinking that I don’t know you as well as I would like.”

  “Really?” she said, her eyes narrowing with suspicion.

  “Yes. We’ve been friends by association because we both know Allen. But, I’d like for us to be good friends, too.”

  “I thought I always annoyed you.”

  “Not all the time. To tell you the truth, I think you are one of the most intriguing persons I’ve ever met.”

  “You’ve said that before. I still wonder what you mean by it.”

  “I don’t quite know how to explain it. I think it might have something to do with what gets you so fired up about your God.”

  “You mean ‘fired at’ considering what happened last night at Emily Ann’s.”

  “And yet you still put yourself out there. It makes me wonder what could be so great about your God that you’re so willing to be raked over the coals.”

  “You really want to know?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you busy tomorrow?”

  “Not at all. You have something in mind?”

  “I was thinking that you could come down to the church for the morning service and then you could have dinner with me and my parents. How does that sound?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never really done the church thing.”

  “C’mon, Tim. It’s not a cult or anything. We don’t brainwash people or make them drink poisoned kool-aid. Just come once and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to come back.”

  “Alright. What could happen? Right?”

  “Service starts at 11:00. Don’t be late.”

  Twenty-Three