Commencement

  ****

  It was 7:00 by the time they reached Manna’s, and since it was during the middle of the week, the place was not as crowded as it usually was. They took seats at a booth near the window, and soon a waitress took

  their order. As Tim moved forward in his seat, he looked as if he was more than just tired. He looked defeated.

  “So how was work?” asked Tamiko taking his hand in hers. She knew that what ever was bothering him more than likely had something to do with Preston.

  “Excruciating.”

  “I guess the presentation didn’t go as you expected?”

  “Let’s just say I now know how Napoleon felt at Waterloo.”

  Tim breathed a heavy sigh and took both of Tamiko’s hands in his. His face wore a very sad expression, that Tamiko had never seen before and it frightened her.

  “What I’m about to tell you can’t go any farther than where we are right now.”

  “Of course.”

  Tim took a deep breath and let it out.

  “The firm has decided to phase out my department in favor of an new automated process, suggested by none other than you-know-who.”

  “What?! That doesn’t … how can they do this after everything you’ve done for them?”

  “It’s business, Tamiko. It’s all about saving money.”

  “I’m so sorry, Tim. If there’s anything you need right now, just let me know.”

  “I’m not worried about money, Tamiko. It’s just the way everything played out. I feel like I was set up. They’re even saying that if I want to collect severance pay, I’ll have to stay on for the next six months and help Preston with his reorganization plan. It’s like they’re making me dig my own grave.”

  “They have some nerve! Maybe you should just leave. Forget about the money.”

  “I thought about doing that, but I’d stand to lose way more than they would. Besides, I need some time to think about what I’m going to do next.”

  “Who knows? This could turn out to be a good thing. Now you have the chance to get a better job, where you’ll be able to work for a company that will appreciate what you have to offer.”

  “I don’t know about that. With the job market being the way it is, I just might end up trying to get Allen to hook me up at the Sheraton.”

  “Don’t talk like that. You’ve got a MBA and a lot more experience than Allen has.”

  “Experience doing what? Ordering supplies? A monkey could have done my job, which is why they’re going automated. My resume’s going to be a joke.”

  “How can you say that, Tim?”

  “Because it’s true. In fact, I probably would be at the Sheraton this very minute if it hadn’t been for my dad. Truth be told, I had some of the same problems Allen had getting a job even though I had my MBA. I didn’t get hired at Herns and Marshall because they thought I was the most qualified candidate. My dad pulled some very long strings to get me set up there.”

  “So what, if you’re dad helped you get the job? You wouldn’t have lasted two minutes there if you didn’t have some talent.”

  “Two years isn’t that long a stretch either.”

  “Don’t be so pessimistic. I’m sure you’ll be able to find another job. And even if things get tough, don’t be ashamed to reach out to your Dad again. Maybe he’s the person that God will use to help you.”

  “Not this time. According to my mom, he’s been arrested for securities fraud.”

  “Oh my gosh, Tim! I’m sorry. I know how much you care about him. Have you heard from him at all?”

  “No. Not that I could do anything for him anyway.”

  There was a silence between them for a moment. Tim looked as if he wanted to cry, but was trying to be brave. Tamiko kept trying to think of something to say to help bring him out of his doldrums.

  “Do you think your mom could help you out?”

  “No. Absolutely not. She’d want me to work for her and then she’d just use the job as a way of controlling my life. I’d rather live in a dumpster.”

  “Don’t you think that’s kind of extreme. Your family can’t be that bad. After all, they’re family: the people you can turn to when things go south.”

  “If only this were a perfect world with perfect people. But it’s not. It’s never been for me, and losing my job is yet another reminder. I don’t know Tamiko, sometimes I just feel like why do I even bother to get out of bed in the mornings, you know? I spend my whole life trying to make it, but it seems like the harder I try, the worse I fare.”

  “You’re not alone, Tim. Lately, I’ve been feeling the same way. I didn’t want to say anything about this because I didn’t want to burden you any more than you already are, but I found out a couple of days ago that my principal is planning to let me go at the end of the year.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding! You’ve only started a couple of months ago.”

  “Unfortunately, the principal thinks I don’t quite cut it as a teacher. Maybe she’s right.”

  “Or maybe it’s your racist supervisor! Don’t you guys have a union that can stand up for you in matters like this?”

  “We do, but I’m a first year teacher. I don’t have tenure or anything, so it’s pretty much up to the principal. And it’s not like I can prove that Steele is a racist. She’s never said or done anything overtly racist.”

  “They never do, do they? I’m really sorry, Tamiko. And here I was thinking I had problems.”

  “But you don’t have to worry about me. I’ve got this all under control. I’m not going to let them do this to me. I’m just going to wait until the end of next week and then I’ll just quit.”

  “I wonder what your dad had to say about that?”

  “I haven’t told my dad. Yet. Anyway, it’s not his life, it’s mine.”

  “But do you really think that’s a good decision?”

  “But it has to be the right thing. Why else would God allow me to hear what was going on? Besides, I’d still be losing out if I stay. This way, I’ll at least have my dignity.”

  “You probably know more about what you’re facing than I do. But if you can, stay for the extra pay. That way you could get something out of the whole thing.”

  “I wouldn’t stay for all the money in Fort Knox. There are just some things that aren’t worth it.”

  “I won’t argue with you there. What do you plan to do after you leave?”

  “I don’t know. I always thought God wanted me to be a teacher, but now I think maybe I was following the wrong path. I guess I’ll just be fasting and praying for Him to reveal to me His direction for my life again, while I look for another job. It’s just that teaching meant so much to me. It’s the only skill I have, or at least, I thought I had. I don’t really know what else I’m going to do.”

  “It’s weird, you don’t seem too perturbed to say that you’re practically ready to give up your entire career.”

  “I’m not giving up, just changing direction. And that’s not to say the decision was easy. I still love teaching, in spite of everything that’s happened. But I want to live my life in the way God has ordained for me, and if that means giving up my aspirations to be a teacher, then so be it.”

  “So you’re still devoted to your God. Even after all this.”

  “If it weren’t for Him, I don’t know if I could go through all of this. He’s helps me to keep everything together.”

  “And how does that work?”

  “Because I know that He loves me and is looking out for me, and He can do what I can’t. Like the apostle Paul says, ‘…my strength is made perfect in weakness.’”1

  “Sounds very reassuring, but how do you know that your God is truly working for you?”

  “Because his Word tells me so and I can see him working in my life. He’s the one who allowed me to hear what that principal was planning. If that isn’t enough, I know he’s with me, giving me the strength to carry on no matter what the
situation.”

  “I’m still not sure if I get it Tamiko.”

  “Maybe one day, you will.”

  There was a moment of silence when the waitress brought them their dinners, and they began to eat. Tamiko noticed that Tim didn’t really eat much of his dinner and spent a lot of time just pushing the food around on his plate.

  “Is your stomach still bothering you?”

  “With everything that’s been going on in my life recently, I’d be surprised if it wasn’t.”

  “Have you seen a doctor, yet?”

  “I don’t need to see a doctor. I need a vacation. I still have my time coming next month.”

  “Still, you’re getting kind of thin. If you’re not getting enough nutrition, then you’ll not only have stomach problems, you’ll start to become susceptible to all kinds of diseases. Stuff that could make your stomach problems worse.”

  “Did you get that from Callie?”

  “My mom used to be a nurse, too, before she married my dad.”

  “And she gave it up to become a preacher’s wife.”

  “Don’t try to change the subject. You need to go to the doctor. Maybe they can give you something.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. They’ll turn me into an invalid junkie.”

  “So you’re afraid of doctors?”

  “I’m not afraid of doctors. I just don’t like or trust them.”

  “I find that to be very strange for someone who doesn’t believe in God.”

  “I never said I didn’t believe. I just said I wasn’t sure that He exists. Those are two different things. And for your information, I don’t think medical science has all the answers either.”

  “C’mon, Tim. I’m worried about you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. If you don’t want to go to the doctor for yourself, at least do it

  for me.”

  “Since you put it like that, I’ll think about it.”

  “I’ll come with you if you want.”

  “And will the doctor give me a lollipop? Honestly Tamiko, I’m 24

  not 4.” “I just meant for support. I know you don’t need me there, but I

  thought you wouldn’t mind having a friend to lean on.”

  “Fine. I’ll let you know if and when I decide to go.”

  “What time is it?”

  “8:30.”

  “I’ve got to go. I still have some things I have to do for school

  tomorrow.”

  “Yeah and unfortunately, I have to go to work early. I wish we had more time to spend together. I really like talking with you. It makes me feel …real… you know.”

  “It’s not so bad spending time with you either. As a friend of course.”

  “Are you free Saturday?”

  “Allen sent me a text earlier about meeting him at the Museum Library on Saturday. He’s supposed to fill me in on the details later, but maybe you can come to church with me again on Sunday if you want.”

  “O.K. It beats sitting at home watching cable. But is every service three hours long?”

  “For some people it’s long, but when you think of it in terms of the 168 hours there are in a week, it doesn’t.”

  “You are truly amazing”, smiled Tim for the first time tonight.

  “I don’t know if that’s completely true, but I’m glad you think so. You’re pretty special yourself.”

  “I wish. Maybe if some of you rubbed off on me.”

  “If you keep coming to church with me, it just might happen.”

  Thirty-four