Writer's Muse Magazine: Winter 2013 Issue

It was a bitter cold winter night. James had to go out to get the wine he had forgotten earlier. Julia, his girlfriend, was irritated with him and he thought, rather than listen to her complain, he should just go and get the wine. As he walked against the wind, he had his head bowed and his coat pulled tight against his neck. Not watching where he was going, he walked into a young boy partially hidden in the shadow of an apartment building. It was three days until Christmas.

  James stumbled and the young boy fell to the cement.

  "Oh, sorry young man, are you okay?"

  The boy looked up from the sidewalk and said," Yes, I am fine."

  As the boy stood up, James noticed his appearance. He was small and painfully thin. His only attire on this bitter cold night was a sweater, t-shirt, and dungarees. On his feet were worn through tennis shoes.

  As the boy stood up James said, "Have you nowhere to be tonight? It is bitter cold and you have not much on to protect you from the cold."

  "This is all I have to wear outside. That is why I was standing close to the building. It helps to keep me warmer. I wait here every night for my father to come walking by. He likes that I am here for him after work."

  "May I ask your name?"

  "I am Robert. My family calls me Bob. My father should be coming by soon."

  "Okay Robert it is far too cold for you to be standing here like this. Perhaps you should head on home. I am sure your father would understand."

  "I am home. This is the building where we live."

  "Well, can't you just watch out a window for your father?"

  "No sir, there are no windows where we live. We live in the basement of this building."

  James was staring at this boy and wondered how it is anyone could bring children into the world that they can't take care. He just did not understand why anyone would do that.

  "What do you mean? You live in the basement of this apartment building? Why are you and your family not in an apartment?"

  "My mother works here cleaning out apartments when people move out. My father works somewhere else. I am not sure where. The apartment manager gives us the basement rent free in exchange for the work my mother does."

  "Well, that's not very acceptable. Do you have any brothers or sisters living with you?"

  "I have two older brothers and two older sisters. It's very small and cold in the basement but it's all my parents can afford."

  James frowned as he listened to this young boy.

  "Okay, so when do you expect your father to come along? I would like to talk to either him or your mother."

  "I am never sure what time my dad will be home. He works overtime whenever he gets the chance. I could take you down to meet my mom though if you like. I am not sure though if she is home yet. She had to work at another building today."

  "Well, can we check and see if she is home?"

  "Sure, just follow me."

  James was thinking how much this young boy reminded him of his childhood. His father had left and his mom worked whatever job she could get. Sometimes she would work two jobs to make ends meet. He had grown up under similar circumstances as this young man and wanted to see how bad off they really were. He followed the boy to the back of the building.

  Robert opened a door in the back of the building, off of an alley. They walked down a flight of stairs and entered through another door.

  James looked around and saw a sparse amount of furniture. A couch, chair, and a curtain hung from the ceiling. There were two young boys sitting on the couch.

  One boy jumped and said, "Bob, what are you doing bringing a total stranger down here? You know you are not allowed to do that. Mom is going to be very angry with you."

  "Dave, it is fine. This man wants to talk to mom. I brought him down here so he could do that. Is she here yet?"

  "No," replied Dave, “I expect though she will be here soon enough."

  The other young boy just sat on the couch and never uttered a word.

  "That's my other brother. He is deaf and can't speak. He did learn some sign language but not enough to talk with anyone. Do you know sign language mister?" asked Bob.

  "I'm afraid I don't. But it is something I was planning to learn."

  Behind the curtain were two single beds that had no frames. There were two girls sitting on the beds. Both were young but still older looking than Robert. One girl looked up as Robert moved the curtain back to show James what was behind it. Then Robert waved for him to follow ignoring the girls who had tried to say something to him.

  They walked into another room, with a doorway but no door on it. In here and to the right were a double bed and two more single beds. A curtain also hung up to hide the beds from the "kitchen" area. Again all the beds sat on the floor. Also in this room sat an electric hot plate and a refrigerator. James walked over to the refrigerator and looked inside. There was a bowl of macaroni noodles, a little milk and butter. Nothing else. He looked up and saw a cupboard above the hot plate with a few cans of food but nothing more. To the right sat a wash tub with a few dirty dishes in it.

  As James followed Robert back into the other room, he was filled with such sorrow for this family. His childhood was bad but there's is worse. This family lived just two blocks from him and yet he had never noticed this young boy before. He thought that, the only reason he noticed him today was because he bumped into him. It had been years since he had grown up and left the neighborhood where he had spent his childhood.

  As they walked back into the other room, James saw the young girls sitting on the couch and an older woman standing at the door to the apartment. The older woman waved her hand at the girls and they left to go behind the curtain again.

  "Robert," his mother addressed him for the first time. "Who is this man, and what is he doing here in our home?"

  "Mom, he wanted to talk to you or dad about something. I don't know what. I thought, since you were not here that I would show him where we live. I hope you don't mind?"

  "Well, young man, you should never bring strangers into our home. It's not safe to do that. Hello, my name is Susan and I think it very inappropriate that you are here. What is it you want?"

  Susan looked James over with eyes a faded blue, and with dark circles around them. She was very thin and was wearing a pair of ripped jeans, a faded blouse, and a sweater. She was tall but very thin. It was obvious this family was not eating much.

  James stepped forward and extended his hand.

  "Hello, I am James Albert and I do apologize for coming in here but I wanted to speak to either you or your husband. I accidentally bumped into Robert on the sidewalk out front of this building and could see how cold he was standing there waiting for his father. He explained a few things to me about his life and living circumstances and I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help. It is obvious how badly you all need help and I would like to lend assistance if you will accept it."

  James watched as Susan stiffened up her spine and her eyes became hard as diamonds.

  "Look, we are not charity cases. My husband and I both work hard for what little we have. The only reason we are in this position is because my husband lost a good paying job last year and has not been able to find anything equal in pay. Yes, we struggle, but we are a family and we are happy just to be together. We do not need anyone else's charity."

  Just then one of the girls came out from behind the curtain.

  "Mom, did you bring anything home to eat? We have not eaten anything all day."

  Her mother looked at her with such a pained look on her face that James couldn't help but notice how bad things were for this family.

  "Look, Susan, I am not here to offer charity. I want to offer you and your family assistance. I don't know what kind of work your husband does but I could offer you both jobs at my computer company downtown. I understand that you clean apartments out after people have moved out. Well, I could sure use someone to clean up my offices at night after everyone has left for the day. Wou
ld you and your husband be interested in something like that?"

  She looked at him and the tears began to fall down her pale cheeks.

  "I would have to talk to my husband about it but I think he would be okay with it. I just don't know how we would get downtown from here. It's such a long way and we don't have a car."

  Just then, James could hear heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. A huge man walked through the door and, as he looked around the room, he saw James and had a hint of curiosity on his face.

  He stepped up to his wife and kissed her on the cheek. Wrapping his arm around his wife, the man said, "What's going on in here? Who is this gentleman?"

  Susan explained everything to her husband. As she explained to her husband what he wanted, all the children gathered around their parents. James could see what a loving family they had. Even though they lived in such a cold and drafty place with little to eat, they were still a family and James realized for the first time in his thirty five years what was really important. Until then, he had never thought about a home and a family. The spirit of Christmas had entered into James' heart.

  "Hello James, I am Richard. I am the father here and I would like to thank you for your generosity. However, it will be impossible to accept your job offer since we have no way of getting downtown from here. I am sorry but it is what it is."

  James shook hands with Richard and said, "Look, my building is downtown. On the top floor of that building is an apartment I use very rarely when I am too tired to go home. It has three bedrooms and is totally furnished with everything you and your family would need. That way you would never have to leave the building to do your job. Really, you would be doing me a huge service by helping me out with this. I just fired the last company that held the cleaning contract and need to replace them quickly. My employee's are not the neatest people in the world. Will you help me out with this please?" He glanced around at the children and smiled at each and every one of them.

  "Alright," said Richard with a huge smile on his face. "When can we start?"

  "How about if we get you moved into the apartment first thing tomorrow and then we will discuss when you will start. Is that okay with you?"

  "Yes sir. That would be just fine. I don't know how we will move all this furniture though."

  James looked at all the thread bare furniture and said, "Not to worry. Unless you really want to keep this stuff, the apartment is already furnished. You won't need to bring anything but your clothes."

  Richard beamed the biggest smile James had ever seen and said, "You are the answers to my prayers. I have prayed every night for a miracle and God has sent you to me. I thought He had forgotten me because it took so long for him to answers my prayers."

  James smiled and Richard and his family and said, "It is my pleasure to help someone out who truly deserves the help. The world we live in is not such a nice place and I am not normally this generous to others but I can see a family who deserves it in yours. Tomorrow I will send someone by to pick up you and your family and they will take you downtown and show you the apartment. I hope you will like it there."

  That night, James walked back into his apartment in the suburbs as Julia stood in the kitchen cooking dinner for both of them. He walked out silently to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  "Oh, James. You frightened me. I didn't hear you come in." He turned her around in his arms and planted a kiss that was both passionate and loving on her lips.

  Blushing furiously, Julia said, "Well, honey, what has gotten into you?"

  "You have baby. For the first time in my life, I realized just what is important in this world; a good woman and some kids to chase around this far too quiet place." He then explained what had happened on his way to the store.

  When he was done with the story, Julia had tears in her eyes. "I always knew you had it in you to have compassion for those in need. You just needed to find the right person to express that compassion." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. That night they made love for the very first time. Before, it had always just been physical, but not that night.

  The next morning James sent a car to pick up his new "family" and bring them down to the building. James smiled as the children ran around the apartment. Susan and Richard just stood there and tears fell to their cheeks and dripped off. They could not believe their good fortune at this bright and shiny apartment.

  Susan turned to look at James and said nothing. She wrapped her arms around his neck and said, "God has finally answered our prayers through you. You have brought us home again."

  As she said that, the tears welled up in James' eyes. "I am not sent from God, I am just a man who wants to help someone who needs it."

  That night, when he arrived home, he kissed his woman with such tenderness and love that she nearly broke into tears herself. Then he got on bended knee and said, "Julia, you are my life, my love. Without you, I have nothing. Will you please be my wife?" Then he pulled out the biggest diamond Julia had ever seen. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she took the ring and placed it on her ring finger and said, "Yes James. I will be your wife." They kissed then and the angel who brought James and Robert together smiled and gave thumbs up to the Man above.

  After James had left them to their new apartment, Susan and Richard wandered throughout and could not believe their prayers had finally been answered. The apartment was beautiful and it was fully stocked with food as well. That night, the family sat down at the dining room table, said a prayer of thanks and had their first real meal in more than a year.

  When they all went to bed that night, Richard looked up and the ceiling in their bedroom and said, "Dear Lord, thank you for hearing my prayers. You have given us a blessing in the form of a man who understands that we are not charity cases but willing to work for whatever we receive. Please bless him with all of your graces that he might have a life worthy of such generosity. Amen"

  For the first time in more than a year, Richard felt that all would finally work out well for them all. Thanks to the generosity of one man.

  About the Author

  Haven Malone is a new author. She is retired, and enjoys spending time with her family. She loves to create fictional stories and her favorite would be love stories, although she is also partial to fantasy. Her story “Dreams” publication is a mix of fantasy and reality. Her author page can be found on Facebook at:

  https://www.facebook.com/HavenMaloneAuthor.

 

  Tis the Season to be Jolly

  by Katherine Magnoli

  There once lived a girl named Katie, who was the youngest of 7. Katie grew up always wanting what was best for others. Then one day Katie woke up a few weeks before Christmas and found a check in her mailbox, she thought to herself for a minute, maybe this was her chance to do something nice for herself for a change. She thought and thought and then it dawned on her that she would use the money to go on a much needed vacation.

  She began to make her plans and figure out exactly what she would need to do to get this done. After a few days planning, things really seemed to be going her way when slowly but surely everything began to unravel. Katie’s dream vacation started to slip through her fingers.

  This made Katie very angry and she began to lash out at all who would listen. She alienated herself from her loved ones who did not take too kindly to her aggressive behavior, which was very out of character for her. She kept on digging her heels in deeper feeling justified for all the harsh words she said. She even made a point to tell her family that she would not be spending Christmas with them because no matter what she would be going on her vacation this month and she wouldn’t let anything get in her way.

  Her older sister, though understanding of how Katie felt, did try to talk sense into her, hoping to convince her to maybe put her dream vacation on hold. Katie stubborn as a mule kept saying no. She needed and deserved a break and that’s all that mattered to her.

  Then one day Katie was hom
e alone with her anger when she wanted to make a snack. She went into the kitchen and looked at her options, when she decided on a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. She scrambled for a spoon, when she came across her baby nephew’s spoon tucked in the drawer. Visions of playing with her nephews and making them countless bowls of “Mucky Charms” as they called it ran through her head.

  She then decided that she would stop being selfish because it is the Holiday Season and this is the time of year where other’s happiness is most important. She immediately logged onto Facebook to tell her older sister she had decided to put her dream vacation on hold. She explained that she could not bear the thought of ditching her family, who at times drove her crazy, but that she undoubtedly loved.

  When Katie and her sister were done talking she turned on the TV so she could watch Mary Poppins, a movie she had spent many years of her life watching with her family. She sat there eating her cereal and smiling, as she thought, “I can’t wait to see all of them.”

  About the Author

  With a birth defect affecting her spine but not her mind, Katherine Magnoli spent twenty-nine years viewing the world from her chair. She lends her unique perspective to authoring children’s books about the challenges facing those with disabilities. Originally from the suburbs of New York, Katherine lives in Sunny Isles Beach, FL.

  https://www.realspecialeducation.com/

  Black Friday

  by Katherine Williams

  After her family celebrated Thanksgiving, it was a tradition to go Black Friday shopping. So Cara and her family loaded up in the car, heading for the mall. They were talking and laughing, just enjoying being together until a drunk driver hit their car killing her parents and sisters instantly. She was rushed to the hospital and ended up in surgery over two hours.

  Upon waking in the recovery room, Cara asked about her family. When she was told that they didn't make it, her world fell apart, tears rolled down her face unchecked. The nurse trying to comfort her, held her until the pain medication kicked in.

  The next time she woke up, looking around she noticed she was in a private room. She heard a light tap on the door before it opened, admitting a man. Watching him as he came closer, she thought she had remembered him from before but wasn't sure. "Who are you?"

  Adrian smiled at her question. "I am your doctor Cara; I repaired the damage sustained in your accident." Picking up her chart looking over it, then back to her she still had bruises and cuts with stitches from the shards of glass that had been removed. "I know you were told about your family, but I have some news on your medical problems. We had to do a complete hysterectomy in order to stop the bleeding. I'm sorry Cara, I know you are young and I'm sure you wanted children, but in order to save your life it had to be done.

  Cara just sat there emotionally numb; there were no tears to cry. She had cried those out for her family, at this moment she really didn't care if she lived or died, in a soft whisper she asked him. "Why didn't you let me die?"

  Adrian knew she was dealing with the deaths of her family, but did she not realize they wouldn't want her to feel this way. His anger about to get the best of him, he called for a nurse telling her to get a wheelchair. "I want to show you something Cara; I think you need to see this to help you thru these feelings."

  Cara really didn't want to go anywhere, but it seemed she didn't have a choice. Sitting in the chair as her doctor wheeled her out and down the hall. "Where are you taking me?" He wheeled her onto the elevator, not answering her question.

  Adrian knew she would not be happy, but he really didn't care this was something she needed to see. After reaching the fifth floor, and wheeling her off the elevator, he stopped, kneeling down beside her. "Listen and listen closely, what you are going to see will probably devastate you, but I feel you need to see it."

  Cara looked at him, his eyes as hard as steel as if daring her to fight him. "What am I going to see? Please tell me." Watching him stand and once again begin wheeling her down the hall, everyone greeting him by his first name, which to her was odd. They came to a door, as he opened it she held her breath preparing for the worst. As they entered the room a small voice echoed in the small room.

  Adrian heard his daughter Emily talking to her grandmother, as soon as they walked in smiling when she asked where her daddy was. "I'm right here pumpkin, I brought a visitor for you." Pulling back the curtain the smile on Emily's face was almost as big as she was, moving to her he placed a kiss on top of her little bald head. "How's my favorite girl this morning?"

  Emily looked at the lady her daddy brought to see her with trepidation, unsure how to react she innocently asked her. "What happened to you?"

  Cara felt tears pricking at her eyes, trying hard not to cry her voice so clogged with emotion she almost couldn't speak. The little girl didn't look to be even five years old, so young to be in this hospital bed. "I had a car accident." The little girl reached for her hand, Cara didn't know what to do she looked at the doctor at his nod; she gently placed her hand in Emily's.

  Emily smiled as she held the ladies hand. "You are pretty, what's your name?"

  "Thank you, my name is Cara. What's your name angel?" The little girls face beamed when she said her name. "Emily, it is very nice meeting you. You are a beautiful angel." Turning to the doctor, she asked "Can I go back to my room? The pain is starting again."

  Adrian almost growled when she asked to leave, he knew Emily had touched her heart. He saw the shimmer of tears in her eyes, when she looked at him. Nodding he wheeled her out of the room quickly, letting his daughter and mother know he would return. They barely made it to the elevator before his anger got the best of him; as soon as the doors closed he exploded. "Are you so deep in yourself, you couldn't see a little girl who by the way is very sick reaching out to you?! Are you that cold hearted?!"

  Cara jerked as if he had slapped her, bowing her head the tears she had been holding in finally began to fall. All thru his tirade, her body began to shake from crying so hard. But he didn't seem to notice, he was so wrapped up in yelling at her.

  Adrian couldn't believe she wasn't even taking up for herself, what kind of person was she turning into? He saw her body trembling. Cursing to himself he kneels down beside her, he sees her tears. "Oh God, Cara I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled or brought you here."

  Cara lifted her head looking at him. "No, I'm glad you did. I didn't realize how lucky I was until just now, your daughter made me see that." Placing her hand on his, her eyes meeting his, she said "Your daughter is very special; she is an angel even though she is sick she still tried to comfort me. I didn't want her to see me cry, she doesn't need to see that from anyone."

  Adrian just stared at her, hearing the doors open he stood wheeling her back to her room. "Cara you will be released soon, I want you to stop by and see Emily before you leave. I believe you both can help one another." With that he left the room, just as the nurse arrived to help her back into bed.

  As Cara lay there that night, she couldn't get over what transpired that day. Emily was never far from her mind, and neither was Adrian. The worry he must have, the fear of losing his daughter. Dear God how his wife must feel, to have a child then, the child to be taken by cancer. God she must be going crazy, and here she was blubbering over the fact she couldn't have children when there were thousands of children out there who didn't have anyone to love them.

  Cara was finally released a couple of weeks later, she walked out of the elevator on the fifth floor and walked to Emily's room. Tapping gently on the door, she walked in smiling. Looking at the room seeing it empty, she turned and walked to the nurses’ station. Asking them where Emily was, the nurse looked up from the desk telling her she had been taken home. After thanking the nurse, she asked for their address telling her she wanted to see the little girl, and thank her father for saving her life. The nurse told her it was against policy to give out that information.

  As Cara left the hospital she spotted Adrian, walking over to him smiling. "Do
ctor, I would like to thank you for what you did for me." His gaze lifted to hers, a gasp came from her, seeing his eyes she knew something happened. "Adrian is Emily ok?"

  Adrian heard her voice but all he could do was to wrap his arms around her and cry. His little girl, his only reason for living was gone. "She died Cara, in her sleep two days ago. Dear God what am I going to do? She was my life."

  Cara held him tight knowing he needed someone, she felt tears rolling down her face. "Come on let's go to my house, you really don't need to go to work." Knowing he couldn't drive in his condition she saw a cab pulling up, waving it down she gave the driver the address and they drove away. The entire trip all Adrian did was look out the window; she knew how he was feeling. Like his entire world was crashing down on him, now he needed her just as she needed him.

  Adrian watched the trees passing by as they rode along; he was so lost in his misery he didn't realize they had stopped. Until Cara spoke rousing him from his thoughts, slipping from the car he walked to her front door waiting until she paid the cab and joined him.

  Cara unlocked her door, and ushered him inside. They sat down in the living room, watching him she gathered her courage to ask about Emily's mother. "Adrian, do I need to call your wife? She needs to be with you during this."

  Adrian barked out a laugh. "That bitch of an ex-wife left as soon as Emily was diagnosed with leukemia. She said she didn't sign on to raise a sick child."

  Cara gasped. "How could any mother say that about her own flesh and blood?" She placed her hand on his, watching as he lifted his eyes to hers. "I am sorry she did that to you and Emily, neither of you deserved that to happen."

  Adrian held her hands, needing the connection with her. She knew what he was going through; she lost her parents and two sisters in an instant. Not by cancer, but by a drunk driver. Needing more than hand holding he pulled her into his arms, and they cried for the losses they had both endured.

  Cara stiffened at first, but feeling his arms around her made her need something she had never had. How long they held each other she didn't know, for when she opened her eyes, it was dark and the house had a chill to it. Adrian still asleep his arms wrapped around her tight, laying on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

  Adrian's eyes slowly opened when he felt Cara's weight shift, looking into her bright blue eyes he smiled for the first time in three days. "Hi, I think we both passed out. Guess we both needed the sleep, thank you for bringing me here," he said, letting her go as she pulled back.

  Cara smiled. "They gave me pain pills to take before I left, so the ride would be bearable. Are you doing alright now? I was worried about you; did you really think you could perform surgery when you just lost Emily?"

  Adrian knew she was right but it still rubbed him the wrong way, how did she know what he could and couldn't do? Standing up he looked over at her, a smirk on his face. "Don't use psychology on me; I don't need your help or anyone's." With that being said, he turned and walked out the door.

  Cara just sighed and let him leave, she couldn't win for loosing. Guessing it was a good thing she wouldn't be seeing him again. She needed to try and live her life without her family, and didn't need to think about Adrian anymore.....

  The following weeks until Christmas, were the hardest for her. But she made it through; she even went shopping for presents for her extended family. That's when she saw him; he was in the toy store she entered to find a special toy for her cousin. She walked over to him, gently touching his arm. "Adrian, how are you?"

  Adrian recognized the voice, looking down he saw the one who had haunted his dreams for the last few weeks. "I'm good, Cara how are you?" God she looked so good, he hadn't realized how much he had missed her.

  "I'm good, thank you doing some shopping for my cousin he wants some kind of transformer. I'm a little lost with this; I don't even know what it is."

  Adrian laughed, he knew all about being a fish out of water. It was kind of how he felt now with her. "Well, let's see if we can find it I wanted to apologize for what happened. I was in a dark place; I'm still digging myself out of."

  Cara smiled still her hand was on his arm. "We will forget all about that, we both were very raw at the time. So what are you doing on Christmas Day? If you aren't doing anything perhaps you would like to have dinner with me."

  Adrian was surprised she even wanted to be around him, she was truly a special woman one who should not be alone. "I would love to my mother left for Florida and will be staying there thru winter. So I will be alone, and I don't think that is what either of us need at this point and time."

  Cara agreed and together they found the toy, they left the store telling him what time to come for dinner. After they had dinner on Christmas, they were together constantly so much so they ended up engaged and married on Christmas Day the next year.

  The moral of this story is, although death is painful sometimes something good can come from the pain.

  About the Author

  Katherine Williams is an aspiring writer, with an active imagination who wishes to share this with readers through her writing. She started at a young age reading everything she could get her hands on. From her love of reading came, the love to write. From early on she knew she wanted to write.

  The Last

  By Sumiko Saulson

  [This story takes place immediate after the ending of Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein”]

  Revenge is all-consuming. All at once, it fed me and fed upon me, the way steam fuels a locomotive, becomes its beating heart, propelling it ever forward, but in doing so, it squanders itself. Only by devouring itself can the hot water cause the train to engage in its forcible motion. When I was consumed with revenge, mine was a heated heart exhausting itself in the pursuit of my creator, but when it was over, I found myself spent.

  The heat was exhausted, and all that was left was cold

  .Cold, and ice… a desolate land of ice I exiled myself to after the only father I would ever know died, never loving me, never truly knowing me. I was as cold as the icy hand of Victor Frankenstein, which I held as I sobbed inconsolably by his bedside, and as cold as the grave he returned to in the frozen ground of his family cemetery. I was cold, and alone.

  Thus emptied of all remaining reason to cling to this tragic and ill-conceived life, I moved forward on heavy limbs, rickety and ill-coordinated. The snow and the ice smashed under my boot heel, and when I occasionally heard it crack, I deeply and profoundly wished with all of my heart that it would continue to do so, opening a great rift that would drag me under the sea.

  Contemplating death, I wondered if one so strangely formed as myself, and with such bizarre sciences made, would drown in its icy depths. I felt the life flowing through my patchwork limbs in strange contrasting levels of sensation. Some of my skin felt the prickling tingle of the icy wind that bit it, and in other places, the skin was dull and numb. I saw through two mismatched eyes, one of which was very nearsighted. From time to time, I would close one eye so I could get a better view of what lie ahead. One of my ears was prone to a constant ringing.

  My legs were uneven in length, and that caused one of my legs to drag slightly behind the others, a disability my creator surely did not intend. I imagine he did not consider the implications of using limbs and organs from donors of different ages: if he had, he might foresee the ache I felt in my sixty-six year old hip bones. Some strange animal or plant life entered my nostrils on the wind, and I sneezed. I doubted that Victor knew I was born with allergies.

  My leg and hip were getting the better of me, and I was going to need to find a place to sit. Considering that I was determined to die, I was surprised to find myself looking for a cave or some nook or cranny in which I might experience warmth, and have shelter from the long arctic winter.

  I stopped where I stood.

  If I was determined to die, there was no need for any shelter. I should just lay my body on the ground where I stood and allow nature to take its course.

&nbs
p; I slowly lowered my body onto its creaking knees, and then placing the palms of both hands into the snow, As I began to lower myself down onto my bottom, I looked at my hands… both tremendous in size, the one a ruddy pink with broken, yellow fingernails, the other an olive-brown kind of khaki with nails neatly groomed and manicured. These hands both belonged to other men once, but now, they were mine… cooperatively obeying my every command, even the ones that would lead to their own demise.

  I felt the soft flakes of downy snow land in cold spots against my skin, and I smiled. I was filled with a vast sense of knowing, an internal warmth aflame at the core of my soul as I realized suddenly, finally, that I was a part of nature. I was a part of this nature, and it was a part of me.

  When I finally hit the ground, I heard a mysterious cracking sound.

  Looking down, I laughed. I was sitting on top of the sled, the very sled that carried my maker to the ship where he died. It was a last little bit of the world of man, the world that had rejected me, smashed underneath my unnatural weight.

  My laughter began to slow as I became aware of the gray forms strewn about me in the snow. Some were speckled with blood, but most of the sled dogs just lay there, curled up in balls to ward of the cold. I stood up and began to walk around them, touching them… stroking their stiffening ears and patting their icy fur.

  I let out a wail of grief.

  Who had abandoned them here? Was it my creator who let them run free into the cold night, or was it theirs? The senseless death of the innocent creatures struck me to the core in a way the death of a man never had.

  Then I noticed something odd about them. In the center, several dogs were piled close together, one upon another. Sensing that they were protecting something, or someone, I began to peel back the bodies, and as I did, the bodies became warmer, and further from death. I continued until I reached the last.

  The last dog was a young mother, sheltered by the bodies of the dead. I do not know if they covered her, or if someone covered her body with them like so much cordwood. Perhaps the wind blew their bodies against her somehow… I do not know. All that I know is that she lived. When I hoisted up the last, and lifted her to my bosom, I saw below her on the ground the reason she held onto life so long…

  There were three of them, three tiny puppies, frozen in the snow. I saw them and I knew that revenge was not the only thing that was all consuming. She had lived for her puppies, knowing they needed her to live. Maybe she was just an excuse that I used to give purpose to my life. I can’t tell you. But when I lifted her cold body up against my chest to warm it and she licked my icy cheek, fearless, and accepting, I knew I could not leave her there to die.

  That was when I knew I had to live my life, to the last.

  We live in a cave now, and I know that she doesn’t know that it is the bodies of her fallen comrades that I am feeding her as we sit by a fire fuelled with the broken bits of wood that were once a sled. She doesn’t worry about what we will do when the firewood is gone, or we run out of food. I worry for the both of us, and I live for the both of us. I have told myself, that I will have to live at least as long as she does.

  After all… how would De Lacy live without me?

  About the Author

  Sumiko Saulson is the author of three sci-fi/horror novels, and a horror blogger. She is a native Californian, and has spent most of her adult life in the Bay Area.

  https://sumikosaulson.com/

  Holy Daze

  By Serena Toxicat

  Time shifted with the earth's faults, and the holidays continued, as ever, to collect over the Amon household like swollen drops of plum wine, splashing their vibrant hieroglyphs on the akashic formica of remembrance. The Amons' day of opulence had fallen in a deeper well than even Renata had fathomed, and her husband finally became the ghost she had been longing for. An unwelcome guest in his own pillaged home, Mr. Amon came to visit only as much as he could stomach.

  January ushered the emergence of a new cycle of moons, paper horns, Gallo jugs and clove ham. February bore arrow-pierced aortas and chicken potpie, pink construction paper and sugary messages melting into sticky palms. Mid-March leprechauns brought the wearing of the green and blue and yellow, botched brogue, corned beef and ale, and wilting clovers marked with the three leaves of approximation. April showered candy sprinkles, pastel dyes and eggshells, stiff white bunnies, roast beef and shredded lettuce, and so on until the year's close with its mummified boxes and fuzzy stockings, an uprooted tree weighted down by shiny spheres whose gaudy paint revealed silver as it chipped perennially away.

  There were times, usually the day after such feasts, that Renata's kitchen would come alive with forked fire and ball lightning, shooting silverware and crashing ceramic plates. Cupboard doors would fly open and spit out a thousand souvenirs of America's wondrous sights, gaudily frosted wine glasses, plastic superhero cups, spices, cookbooks, weights and measures, calcified dreams of domestic bliss. And when they finally bowed to gravity, they would crash upon Evangeline and her brother, Elijah, or fall with purpose upon Renata's head, sending her groaning and shrugging or raising her palms to the sky through the yellow-stained ceiling in search of the holy water held by the plastic Lady of Lourdes.

  She would bless herself first, then sloppily splash the kitchen corners, dousing either of the lingering children before proceeding to the oven to inspect the inner realm.

  She had grown accustomed to ridding the house of the souls of various animals sacrificed to the holidays in the guise of stuffed, basted and roasted centerpieces, which had become trapped inside the electric inferno. Many such creatures of artifice and engineering lacked the wisdom of transition, and she would catch their form, prodding them to the light through the portal in the back of the oven. The gnosis of this dimension had been passed on matrilineally, and was a welcome panacea for years upon decades of carnivorous celebrations avenged.

  When she peered through the mystical gateway, she saw a pale yellow sky alive with winged animal shapes aglow in their transparency tasting freedom like canapés, rolling through pale gray and white sheep-shaped puffs, migrating away from the land of meat and money, and she would wring her hands and shake away the residues of toil and holy water.

  About the Author

  San Francisco-born and bred Serena Toxicat has been published in anthologies and magazines, and written award winning plays and poems in English and French. Evangeline and the Drama Wheel and her poetry book, Paper Wings, currently reside at Lulu.com and are dedicated to her cats, Isis and Selket.

  https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/toxicat

  A Child’s Wish For Christmas

  By Haven Malone

  Photo by Kathleen Chambers