This Changes Everything

  *POP*.

  Holos gone.

  I feel the sudden silence and complete solitude. I welcome it, even though it accentuates my aloneness.

  I get ready for bed, pondering.

  Near the end of my formal meditation, after the dedications of merit, long-life prayers for all Lamas, auspicious wishes and final prayers, I make two more aspirations: “Whatever is most beneficial, may I please help it to occur. For all beings, timelessly, everywhere: may I always be of greatest benefit."

  Then, I make a request: "If it is best for my sweetheart and all beings and causes no harm, may our love blossom in this timeline.”

  I lie down to sleep.

  Even though I know Epifanio can’t hear me, I whisper: “I love you. I hope you discover that you love me, too. Good night, Dear One.”