Cowboy Up

  "You look good in my hat, darlin'."

  I shrug, the movement making his hat fall down over my forehead.

  "Though I should probably get you one that fits better," he jokes.

  I lift my hand back off his shoulders to adjust the too-large hat. Not wanting the anticipation to get thicker, I ignore his joke. Mentally, I take one last swing at the walls I had used to protect me for my whole life and give the man holding me everything. I know he sees the enormity of my feelings written all over my face when his whole body jolts and his eyes darken. "You've got me now, handsome. Time to give me the rest."

  He starts walking, not looking away from me and me not looking away from him. When he turns us from the house and toward the stables, I frown in confusion.

  "Trust me?" he questions, not missing a beat, knowing me well.

  "Always," I answer emphatically.

  His chest expands with my answer like that one word was everything to him. He enters the stable that houses his personal horses. I don't ever make it my mission to come in here with all the black-eyed beasts, but I know enough about this place that when he stops at the last stall, chills break out.

  Onyx.

  I know very little about him, but I heard Clayton and Drew talking about him and what I discovered broke my heart. He's a pure black Arabian horse that Clayton saved. I don't know all the details, but something along the lines of Onyx's old owners sold him for meat in exchange for cash. When a shipment of horses was stopped on its way to Canada, one of Clayton's old friends called him for help in placing the fifteen horses on their way to slaughter. No one wanted Onyx, so Clayton loaded him up and brought him back to the ranch.

  That was about three months ago, and according to what I've overheard, Clayton spends every spare second he isn't needed elsewhere working with Onyx. When I first came here I remember seeing Onyx from a distance as he bucked and bucked, going wild in his desire to be left alone and even though I feared him immensely, I felt drawn to the beast.

  I feel the horse's eyes on me as Clayton brings us farther in, and I shiver in his arms.

  "You doin' all right, darlin'?"

  I nod, not trusting myself to verbally answer without fear in my voice.

  "I wouldn't bring you in here if I didn't think Onyx was ready to finally meet you."

  I jerk my wide eyes from the black beast and look at Clayton. "What?"

  "Knew the second I saw Onyx he was meant for you. He's a fighter. Hell, he'd fight the wind if he thought it was tryin' to get in his way. He's beyond loyal to those he lets close though. You earn that from him and he'll protect you from everything and anything. Includin' that damn wind. I knew the second I found him that there was only one person a warrior like Onyx was built for."

  Shocked by his words, I can't do anything but drink in my handsome man's serious expression. When I feel something nudge my back, I jump in Clayton's arms. His whole face grows soft and full of affection.

  "Told you," he grunts, tipping his chin in the direction behind me.

  I turn, finding Onyx close to my back, his eyes focusing completely on me. When I don't move, he bumps me again with his nose and makes a show of blowing air through his nostrils. Clayton turns us so that his back is to Onyx, allowing me to study the beast without turning my neck so harshly. Something in the way the horse is looking at me sends a rightness-filled calm through me. I lift one hand and slowly move it toward Onyx. His tail swishes, and before I have a second to let myself fear him, he bumps the tip of his nose against my palm. He does this twice more before I find myself smiling at his antics and rubbing my hand against the slope of his head. If he were a cat, I imagine he'd be purring loudly.

  "He likes you," Clayton says softly, kissing me against my neck. "I've been waitin' for this moment, and darlin', I had no doubts that you two would click instantly. You haven't been around horses enough to understand, but you've just become the most important person to him and all you did was give him your trust. Onyx and me . . . we've got that in common. All it took was one touch from you and you became our everything."

  I keep caressing Onyx, but feel emotion grow into a thick ball in my throat. "Honey," I breathe, not capable of more.

  "It sounds like a pile of shit, but I promise you, Linney, I mean everything I just said."

  "He's just a horse. A horse that just wanted to be petted."

  Clayton laughs, his hilarity jolting my body. "Darlin', in the time that Onyx has been here, he hasn't willingly let a soul touch him. He tolerates what's needed to cool him down after a ride, and that's usually done with a lot of bullshit from him. I can feel him itchin' to buck even me, someone he likes slightly more than toleratin', right off when I'm walkin' him."

  I lift my hand from Onyx and frown at Clayton. "You're basin' this all on the fact that he nose-bumped me a few times?"

  "No, I'm basin' this on the fact that he came to you, asked for you, and even now is tryin' to get closer to you."

  I turn to glance at the horse and see that Clayton wasn't lying. He's pushing himself as far into the opening in his stall door as he can get. When he realizes that isn't working, he becomes agitated. I reach out to press my hand against his nose again, gasping when he stills instantly and presses gently against my hand.

  "Trust me?" Clayton questions again.

  I look away from Onyx and nod, feeling a rightness click into place.

  "I'm goin' to let you go so I can get the horses ready. You okay with that?"

  My heart warms, knowing that he's kept me in his arms for the past five minutes because he knew I was fearful of being this close to an animal I don't understand well enough to not fear. I press my lips to his before nodding.

  "Then let's get ready for our first ride together, darlin'. Those roads collided and it's time we check out the new path before us."

  Oh, wow.

  Reluctantly, I slowly lower myself with his help until I'm standing and watching as Clayton gets Onyx and Dell, his horse, ready. When Clayton opens Onyx's stall, the horse walks to my side instantly and doesn't leave his spot next to me. His solid mass presses against me in a soothing way. I don't even realize I'm running my hands over his coat, loving the feeling of his powerful softness, until he makes a sound that makes me think he's enjoying the attention. For the first time, I feel no fear being near one let alone two horses, but I have a feeling that has a lot to do with Clayton and my trust in him, even if I feel the connection to Onyx that he was speaking about. When I look at Dell, a horse I know has the most even temperament and calm nature, I shiver and push my side into Onyx, who huffs air out. Maybe Onyx doesn't scare me as much because, him being solid black, those seemingly all-knowing eyes aren't so noticeable. Dell, though, is the opposite of Onyx. Dell is pure white. The way his eyes contrast against his coat makes them look even more arresting.

  "I know, big guy," I tell Onyx softly, still looking at Dell. "He creeps me out too."

  Clayton chuckles. I ignore him and keep talking to the horse at my side. "I should tell you, I don't know a lick about horses, but I promise to respect you. Just . . . I don't know, try and not go crazy and buck me off you. I don't want to break my back and have to be put in a home."

  This time Clayton bursts out in a deep belly laugh.

  "What?"

  "God, I have no idea what I'd do without you in my life."

  "That's good. Maybe that means you won't ship me off to live in a home when I break my back and become a burden."

  Watching him tighten something on the saddle before turning, I drink him in. His full lips are smiling, the shadow of his facial hair along his jaw making him look rugged and sinful. But it's the brightness shining from his eyes that holds me captive.

  "There will never be a day that I won't have you in my arms when I wake, Caroline. I don't care what's thrown at us in this life, me needin' to care for you will never be somethin' I look at as a burden. I'll spend every second of every day showin' you that I deserve that honor." He steps closer and lifts his
hat off my head, placing it opening side up on a shelf near us. "Even if you get thrown from a horse and break your back--even then will I love every second that I'm blessed with you in my life."

  I feel my chin tremble and I know if he keeps going, I'm going to burst into tears.

  "You ready to take a ride with me, darlin'?"

  I swallow thickly, my chin still fighting with my emotions, and nod.

  Clayton moves to help me mount Onyx. Knowing that he wouldn't be putting me on the back of this horse if he wasn't confident in the animal's abilities eases some of my nerves. I listen intently as he continues to explain everything I need to know as Onyx waits patiently for me to climb onto his back.

  "Left foot in the stirrup and pull your body upward. Take your time and swing your other leg around. Just hug his back with your legs and slip your other foot into the stirrup. I'll hold his reins, but he's well trained, darlin', and I suspect he'll be statue still while you get sorted."

  "He's not gonna just take off with me danglin', right?"

  I'll give Clayton credit, if it weren't for the slight twitch of his lips, I wouldn't know how bad he wants to laugh at me.

  "Trust, darlin'."

  "Trust. Right. I do."

  "Then get your hot ass in the saddle, baby. We've got plans."

  It takes me two tries to get myself up and into the saddle. True to Clayton's words, Onyx doesn't even flinch, letting me get myself positioned with my back straight and orienting myself to balance with my weight centered to my bottom like I was told. Clayton walks around and makes sure my legs are in the proper position, giving me a few tips as he does.

  "When we start ridin', keep your toes up, ankles stable, and your heels pointing downward. You let Onyx lead."

  "What do I do with these?" I ask, holding up the reins he just placed in my left hand.

  "That is how you steer. A gentle touch against Onyx's neck will signal the movements that you want. Move across his right side to go right and left side to go left. Keep them in your left hand, right hand on the saddle. We'll work on all of this another time, but even though I know he'll guide you without help, following me, I still want you to know what to do on the off chance that he decides to show off."

  "Okay." I gulp. "Right for right and left for left. Seems easy enough."

  "If somethin' happens and you need him to move quick, grab the reins in both hands and gently pull or squeeze in the direction you need him to go. It's not often that it happens to our horses, but if you need to emergency steer him, that's how."

  I nod, filing that information under let's not think about what could happen that would require emergency steering, and give Clayton a nod. "How do I get him to turn on?"

  His lips twitch again. "Squeeze with your legs and let him know you're ready."

  "That's it?"

  He nods. "Yeah, baby, that's all it takes."

  "You'll be close?"

  "Always, Linney. Always."

  21

  CLAYTON

  "I'm Gonna Love You" by Jamie Lawson

  She's a natural.

  You'd never know she's never ridden or that before this, she'd been afraid of every horse she encountered. Her smile is huge, carefree, and full of life. The only time I've ever seen her looking more beautiful is when she's under me and gasping out my name.

  We've been riding about ten minutes, but five into it she let go and I quickly changed our course so I could watch her longer.

  It didn't take me long to get everything I needed in order. I texted Leighton shortly after I got off the phone with Caroline earlier and asked her to give me a heads-up when Caroline was on her way home. Luckily, by then I'd finished with the doc and successfully sold eight horses to the buyers who had come down. Drew waved me off when I asked if he needed help, but the crooked grin on his face told me he was doing it more because he knew what I had planned and not because he didn't actually need help.

  The rest I'm hoping like hell Maverick took care of. Otherwise I'm going to be winging it and not giving Caroline a fraction of the romance she deserves. I can't remember a time I've ever cared about that, but I want to give her memories that have her feeling our love for the rest of our lives.

  Moving my hips, I lean back slightly. Dell instantly slows his trot. I wait, giving Onyx time to follow my lead, pleased as hell when he does so without hesitation. I hear Caroline gasp, but keep my eyes on Onyx while he follows Dell to the tie-off post. Dismounting, I loop Dell's reins around the post before taking Onyx's from Caroline and doing the same. Both horses stretch their necks to drink from the large watering basin as I move to her side and, with my hands on her hips, help her to her feet. Only when she's grounded do I look over her head.

  This spot has always been my favorite within all our acres: the peak where our land is the highest and the trees are few and far between. From here, you can see part of Maverick's land to the west, where he has a few housing structures for the riders enrolled in his rodeo school. The other side is all Davis land. Nothing but green earth and blue skies. Untouched by any man and unblemished by any structure aside from the fence that used to keep cattle locked in.

  "I used to come out here when I needed to get away. When my pops was drunk out of his mind and fightin' with anyone who would look at him. When Quinn's cryin' got too much to bear, knowin' I couldn't fix what hurt her or bring the only person she wanted back. And when Maverick left town, I found myself out here more and more. Wouldn't do anything more than just look out across our land, focusin' on nothin' and wishin' more than anything I could've protected them more. This was the only place on this ranch that felt like home to me, even after my pops passed away. Here the only thing I had to worry about was myself. Still, after he passed, and this place became all mine, I never felt like it was home unless I was out here." I pause, walking over to the table that Maverick set up for me, grabbing the bottle of red wine sitting atop it and filling the two glasses placed next to it. "I felt like that my whole life, Linney. Never findin' peace in my own house, on my own land, long enough to let me find my home--my sanctuary. It wasn't until a beautiful good girl, lookin' to be bad, sat down next to me in a dirty bar. There you were, surrounded by drunks and bikers, lookin' like you stepped out of the pages of a magazine--you were pure temptation. That moment, before we even left Hazel's, I felt like somethin' had snapped in place deep inside my chest. I found my sanctuary--my home--that night in your arms. I found it and almost lost it forever after just one night. You'll never know how thankful I am that I got my second chance. Knowin' that we might never have found this if I woulda let my stubborn pride keep me from findin' you--that kills me."

  Her wide brown eyes stay locked on mine when I stop talking and hand her a glass of wine, then take a sip from my own glass.

  "One day, we're gonna bring our children here, Linney, and you're goin' to sit on a blanket between my legs while they run all over this damn hill. Laughter will echo across our land while we bask in what our love created. There'll never be a day that I don't love you. Not one. I wasn't plannin' on you, baby, and I know you weren't plannin' on me, but sometimes what we need to finally feel whole is what we least expect. You are that for me."

  "Clayton," she whispers, tears filling her eyes.

  "Just a second, darlin'," I interrupt, bending to kiss her nose before taking our glasses and placing them on the table next to the picnic basket.

  "Clayton," she repeats softly; this time I hear her tears in her voice.

  "Sweetness, one second." When I turn, seeing the worry in her eyes, I take her face between my hands gently. "What is it, Linney?"

  She swallows, her whole head moving in my grasp as she does. Her mouth moves, opening and closing, but no words come. I relax my grip and bend to press our lips together. It doesn't take long before our kiss turns hungry and I regretfully pull my mouth from hers.

  "You good?" I ask with a smile that grows when her eyes don't open for a few more pounding beats of my heart. Finally her lashes flutter
, and she looks at me in a daze.

  "I just . . . I don't want you to think that I expect you to . . . I don't know! I mean, I was jokin', wantin' to let that nasty woman know she was wrong about you, but the second the words left my mouth I . . . I'm freakin' out here, Clayton!"

  There really is no way to describe what it feels like when all the pieces of you that had been out of sorts your whole damn life start to click together. When all those years of twisting them up because you couldn't figure out what you were missing are unraveled in an instant when you find what your purpose in life truly is. For me, I knew my place was here on the ranch and that my protection and love went to my siblings and only them. Because of my parents, I knew allowing myself to find what Maverick and Quinn had would be something too risky. I had resigned myself to that life, only recently feeling like I was spiraling, with my siblings no longer needing me. But then I met this woman and those pieces started shifting until I knew without a doubt that my crazy, shy, wild-when-she-wants woman was my purpose. My reason for waking and my reason for breathing. The woman who made the risk of loving her unquestionably worth it, because with her love, that risk is really just a reward. I would have done this weeks ago, but it wasn't until today that I knew it was time. I take her hands in mine and wink when her eyes grow a little wider. Not looking away from her, I drop to my knee. Her hands jerk in my grasp as she watches me. I inhale deeply and start putting mental pictures of this moment away so I'll never forget what it looks like to ask for forever with the person who holds your purpose.

  "Caroline Lynn Michaels," I start, having to pause when a lump of emotion crawls up my throat before continuing. "There will never be a time in my life, yours, and whatever waits for us beyond that when my heart won't beat a little quicker because of what my love for you does to me. You came into my life and showed me how wrong I'd been about so many things without even tryin'. I never wanted more for myself than what I had runnin' the ranch and seein' my family thrive, but then your love made me need things I hadn't ever allowed myself to think of before. Without you, there isn't anything here on this earth worth findin'. Not a goal I can set for my life that would mean anything to achieve. My purpose. Everything I could possibly achieve. It's all you now. You've turned my house into our home, put me back together when I hadn't even realized I'd been broken, and given me so much more in four months than some people will ever get in a whole lifetime. We burned our way through our own paths in order to find this road we're travelin' on now together. I only hope I'm able to give you back a fraction of what you give me. I was made to love you, Caroline, and there isn't anything that would make me happier than you becomin' my wife. Marry me, Linney. Marry me today, tomorrow, or the next day, and let me spend the rest of our lives provin' that I deserve the honor of you."