Faithless

clever tool used to guilt people into believing.

  The crucifix in front of him now was different. While it stayed true to the crown of thorns and nails piercing flesh there was no blood. Jesus wore a serene almost peaceful look. He gazed across the sanctuary like a father watching over his children as they played. Todd was too far away to tell for sure, but he thought he could see a wistful smile adorn his face.

  Todd found himself smiling back.

  "Sheriff Todd?" Rebeckah called, pulling him away from his observation. She looked very pretty, as she always did. It was nice to see her out of her cafe uniform even though the sky blue dress she now wore was relatively plain. Her hair was longer than he thought and, seeing it down for the first time, he noticed the highlights shining through her chocolate colored locks.

  "Hello, Rebeckah," he greeted as he shook her hand.

  "It's nice to see you." She was smiling at him. He was flattered to see a small blush filling her cheeks. "I saved you a seat. Would you like to join me?"

  "I'd love to," Todd said with a grin. Rebeckah's smile grew. The blush that had been a pink dusting transformed into a full red bloom.

  As Todd followed Rebeckah to their seats everyone they passed greeted the two. It made a warm feeling spread through his belly. He couldn't explain why it felt like he was finally home.

  Their seats were in the middle of the row on the left side with people surrounding them on all sides. There was no jacket or purse, nothing to guard the seat, no indication that they were taken. Only an empty space on an otherwise crowded bench. It struck Todd as a little odd that no one had claimed the seats, but he shrugged it off as the mouths of small towns.

  Mrs. Hammish, the school music teacher, began to play the organ signaling the beginning of mass. Everyone stood as the music swelled. Although the song was familiar Todd didn't know the words.

  It was a beautiful melody. Not overbearing yet it still managed to ensnare him. Looking around to observe everyone else, Todd was amazed at the looks on their faces. They all looked happy and so full of joy as they sang about God's everlasting love. He could practically see God's love filling them up.

  The thought made him a little jealous. Todd didn't have that type of faith. In fact, he didn't have any type of faith. He never had that absolute certainty that God not only existed, but loved him as well.

  Todd never felt anything like that. Todd just felt kind of stupid, especially now when he was the only one not singing.

  Someone tapped his arm. Turning back to Rebeckah he saw her holding out a hymn book already opened to the page he needed.

  Todd smiled at her thankfully before joining in the song. When his voice joined the others, merging into one melodic prayer, Todd felt a warmth spread through his chest. Standing with the other townspeople and singing with them made him feel like he belonged there.

  He imagined that if his mother had never sent him away, this might have been his life all along. Respected by everyone with a beautiful woman at his side.

  Todd smiled to himself.

  Father Gary stepped onto the altar and stood by the podium as he waited for the music to finish. Todd watched him as he gazed out into the crowd. The priest had a special way about him. He seemed to be able to look everyone in the eye at one time.

  When the last echoes of song finished reverberating through the church Father Gary said, "Please be seated."

  Several of the old pews groaned in distress as everyone sat down at once.

  "Good morning, everyone," Father Gary greeted enthusiastically. "While every morning is a good one under the Lord's grace, today is especially glorious. Not only is it my first day back," Father Gary was forced to stop speaking due to the sudden rush of applause and cheering. He smiled graciously before waving it away. "Thank you, but today isn't about me. Today is the day we baptize Kenny and Michelle's first born into our Lord's service." Father Gary drew the crowd's attention to the couple in the front row.

  Kenny Bunker was a third generation mechanic who often joked that his first set of tinker toys was a V6 engine. Kenny was no comedian, but he was a good man who treated everyone fairly. His wife Michelle was also a mechanic, just as friendly as her husband only with a brighter smile.

  The people around them congratulated the parents. Kenny’s grin was so wide it was clearly visible to Todd from where he sat six rows back. The proud father kept turning every which way to shake offered hands.

  Michelle remained sitting face forward.

  Todd noticed that her shoulders were quivering as if she were laughing or crying.

  Todd couldn't see Michelle's face. She kept facing forward towards the altar. He noticed her shoulders quivering slightly as if she were crying.

  He was surprised when Michelle finally did turn around to speak to someone. The amount of tears soaking her red face made Todd’s eyebrows scrunch together.

  "It's always emotional," Rebeckah explained, her eyes following Todd’s to the couple. "Most of the mothers cry. When I was little I asked Mrs. Hammish why. She told me that it's a happy sad. For nine months the baby is in your belly growing. And then it's born and it's your baby. But when it gets baptized it's not your baby anymore. It becomes one of God's servants."

  "Aren't we all His servant?" Todd asked. He watched Michelle as her husbands whispered words brought a smile to her face. Her grip on the bundle in her arms tightened before she turned forward again.

  "We are, but the first born are special," Rebeckah explained, her voice a whisper next to him. Father Gary had continued speaking, sharing the community news.

  A potluck this Friday.

  Volunteers needed for a mission trip.

  "The Bible tells us the story of Moses and the plagues. The plagues were sent down as proof of His power. The tenth and final plague was the death of the first born.”

  It wasn’t a question, but Todd felt like he was supposed to nod so he did.

  Rebeckah smiled. “It’s kind of like that. But instead of being a punishment, we offer our first born to be His servants as proof of our devotion.”

  Todd didn’t understand at all. If anything he was even more confused now.

  “But-” he started only to be shushed by someone on his left.

  He turned only to see six-year-old Amy glaring up at him. Her father stood next to her looking caught somewhere between mortification and pride.

  Amy pressed her fingers to her lips before pointing to Father Gary, who was oblivious to the small group’s inattention.

  Todd nodded and smiled at the little girl before turning back to Father Gary. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rebeckah holding a hand to her mouth, her dimples giving away her hidden smile.

  "You got me in trouble." the sheriff whispered. A giggle escaped from between Rebeckah's fingers causing Todd's smile to grow.

  The chime of a bell drew Todd's attention back to the priest on the altar.

  The altar boy, a sixth grader named Stephen, held a delicate silver bell above his head. Kenny and Michelle had left their seats during Todd and Rebeckah's conversation. They now stood next to the nine-year-old, holding the newborn between them.

  "Repent,” Father Gary began, his voice carrying over everyone, “and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is to you and your children and to all that are far off, every one whom the Lord our God calls to Him." Father Gary had probably said the speech at least a hundred times yet he still spoke with such devoted passion, bringing tears to many patron's eyes. Todd saw Rebeckah brush the droplets off of her eyelashes.

  Father Gary took the babe from his parent's, giving him a gentle kiss on his bald head before holding him above the marble basin.

  "The Lord said to Moses, 'Consecrate to me all the firstborn. Whatever is first to open the womb among the people of Israel, both of man and beast is mine," the priest spoke voice full of authority leaving no room for question or doubt.
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  Even Todd had ceased his internal inquisition.

  He glanced around. Everyone was watching Father Gary with rapt attention. Love and trust radiated off of them like heat from a fire.

  Tod felt like he was out alone in the cold, a lonely orphan with his face pressed against the window. He wanted in.

  Todd looked back to Father Gary just in time to see him place the babe in the baptism waters.

  All at once a great cry rose up around him.

  Everyone stood up at the same time, Todd half a minute behind out of sync with their choreography. The sound of cheering and clapping rushed through the house of worship as the organist started up again, this time a fast paced joyful tune.

  People began to sing along. Young children stood up in their seats, some jumping up and down while others danced with exaggerated movement. Parents not only encouraged the rambunctious behavior; several even joined in.

  And still they cried, "Hallelujah!"

  "This is a beautiful moment," Rebeckah said. She took his hand in her, stealing his attention from the sudden chaos. Her skin was soft against his, her eyes so wide with joy that for a moment Todd imagined that he could see straight into her soul. Her smile nearly split her face, showing of her teeth. Rebeckah’s happiness amplified her natural beauty, taking Todd’s breath away.

  "He is becoming one of our Father's highest servants,” she continued, seemingly unaware of the effect she was having on him. “He will spend forever worshipping Him and doing His works. It's the highest honor a