Five

  With the new day came a stronger determination. If Cassie wouldn’t talk to me, I would figure things out without her.

  I pulled out my laptop and looked up one word: Fairies.

  How could I get through millions of webpages? I tried to narrow my search. This time I typed: Fairy lore.

  Now all I had to do was wade through nearly four million sites. One said that the fae were called Sidhe, pronounced ‘she’. My brows lifted at that one, but I tried it anyway. Even with the drastic reduction in results, I would never get through all of them in my lifetime.

  I started with the first. Good old Wiki. A chill ran up my spine as I read:

  They are said to live underground in the fairy mounds, across the western sea, or in an invisible world that coexists with the world of humans.

  The more I researched the deeper fear sank into my chest. To my dismay, it didn’t stop there. By the time I read a few more pages, full-blown trepidation had spread down to the tips of my toenails. I learned nearly every country on the planet has some sort of fairy lore. The beings are called different things, of course, but the stories were remarkably similar. One eerie theme kept popping up. It seemed that fairies like to steal humans, mostly women.

  I even found out fairy people were absurdly called ‘the lordly ones.’ If Aunt Grace was right, and I hadn’t caught Cassie’s hallucination bug, I might just have plenty of them after me soon. Just how many made up a pack?

  I couldn’t believe Aunt Grace had said that I was created for fae lords, as though my sole purpose in life was to service them. Forget what I wanted. I belonged to them. As if I would ever let that happen.

  I had finally admitted to myself that this might be real. Only time could give me an actual answer on that one. But if any man thought I was going to just let him have me, he was up for a huge disappointment. I hoped this was just an elaborate ruse set up by Aunt Grace to make me regret disobeying her.

  Unfortunately, all the hope in the world wouldn’t make something like that true. It really wasn’t her style. She was more likely to come get me herself than to send some guy on a bike.

  Besides, she had already made it clear I couldn’t come home. Few things could make her sound panicked like that. It was fine by me. I didn’t want to leave.

  I needed to focus on my classes. I came to St. Mary’s to get a great education, so I could make something of myself. I was not about to let a pack of fae lords, no matter how intimidating, steal my life from me. If they did come around, I would simply tell them to go find another girl to terrorize. I couldn’t worry about what some imaginary people, as Cassie had called them, might do to me. I already had enough reality to deal with.

  My schedule was demanding and didn’t allow me to be distracted. My hardest class was biology. Cassie had wanted me to take it with her. I preferred it to chemistry, so I agreed.

  That’s where I was now, with Cassie sitting next to me. She kept shyly chancing glances.

  When I finally smiled at her, she visibly relaxed. I had come to the conclusion that she would open up to me in her own time. Pushing her hadn’t done me any good. There had to be a good reason for her to be so guarded. Besides, days had passed and nothing else had happened. I was beginning to think Cassie had been right. We hadn’t really spoken much, but she was slowly starting to relax around me again.

  All I had to do was be patient—or be taken by fae lords. Either way, I would find out what was going on. Until something occurred, though, I had to live.

  Thankfully, I hadn’t felt the terror that had blighted my life since my first day here. I was slowly settling in to my routine. I found a job that I start next week. The positions on campus had been filled fast, but our librarian gave me advanced notice about an opening at the Hesburgh Library at Notre Dame.

  I still had no idea why Aunt Grace told me to stay away from there, but my funds were dwindling to nothing. Maybe I had misunderstood her? I had no way of really knowing. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to contact her for a real explanation. My phone wouldn’t work. I hadn’t had any luck with Cassie’s, either. That worried me more than I wanted to admit.

  If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought something was blocking my calls. After several attempts, I had finally gotten a hold of the customer service department. The guy working with me gave up after a few hours of me trying to explain the absurdness that had become my phone. He suggested I buy a new one—another expense I couldn’t afford.

  My blasted e-mails wouldn’t even go through. I went old-school and mailed a letter home before I came to class. I needed to contact Aunt Grace. Her comments were like a pesky fly landing on my brain at the most inconvenient moments: like now.

  Excited conversation erupted all around me. What had I missed?

  “So what do you think we should do?” Cassie asked.

  I scanned the room, hoping for some kind of clue. Nothing. I finally settled for the dumb approach. “Huh?”

  Cassie’s little laugh was barely audible. She sucked her upper lip inward and cleared her throat. “How do you think we should organize our presentation?”

  I had no idea what she was even talking about, so I improvised. “Your ideas are always way better than mine.”

  She smirked and tapped her finger pensively on her chin a few times. “Well, we could do a power-point, but that’s boring. There has to be something she wouldn’t expect.” She turned her hand over in a one-sided shrug. “You’re the creative one.”

  “Who are you talking about?” I asked in confusion.

  She looked at me as if I had just grown another eyeball. “Professor Blakely. Earth to Rayla. Where have you been for the last half-hour?”

  I grunted. I needed to focus. No amount of thinking about the fae was going to help me pass this class. For whatever reason, I was sure the professor didn’t really like me. She seemed sharper with her comments to me than the other students. I could have been imagining her coldness, though. Just like everything else lately. Either way, I wouldn’t pass on a chance to get a few extra brownie points from a great presentation. “Maybe we should think about it for a while. Something fantastic is bound to come to us.”

  Cassie tapped her pen pointedly on her notebook. The light from the windows bounced off the shiny red surface and into my eyes. “I would rather have a plan,” she said. “That way we’ll know what to shoot.”

  I frowned at her, angling my neck away from her so I could actually focus on something other than the light blinding me. She’d said something about shooting. I was quite sure hunting wasn’t allowed on campus. I’ve always found dissecting disgusting, and the thought of slicing and dicing something I killed just wouldn’t going to work for me.

  I wasn’t about to go to the river to catch an unsuspecting frog, either. I refused to do it in high school, and I hadn’t changed my mind about the subject. Back then, my biology teacher had taken pity on me and order sharks instead. Absurdly enough, I hadn’t minded cutting into the predator. I learned more about myself in that class than I had in anatomy.

  Cassie shook her head before shoving her notes under my nose. Our midterm assignment was to photograph as many species of birds in the nature area as possible. The winners would get their presentations posted on the department’s website.

  This assignment should have captured my interest. I had no idea why it hadn’t other than that I had no desire to ever put a foot in the Nature Area again. I shrugged that thought away. Fear would not rule me. “Maybe we could do a collage of all of the birds.”

  Cassie’s eyes crinkled when she grinned. She yanked her folder away from me playfully, scanning her notes. “We have to do better than that!”

  I laughed. “Leave me alone. A three dimensional collage beats a power point any day.”

  She murmured something incoherent, suddenly distracted. She kept glancing over to the corner of the room.

  I didn’t want to, but I had to tell her about the library. She wouldn’t be happy. “I start my job on Monday.?
??

  “Great.” She sounded like she was trying for enthusiastic, but it hadn’t come out that way. Eeyore could have done better.

  All thoughts about her being happy about my schedule disintegrated. “I’ll only be working ten hours a week.” I had really wanted twenty.

  Her gaze locked on the corner again. “That’s good.”

  I waved my hand in front of her face. “Is that all you have to say?”

  She turned toward me, her expression bleak. “What else is there? You won’t listen to me.” She bit her bottom lip, something she did that when she was nervous.

  She had offered to pay for everything. She even said her parents gave her extra cash for me, but I couldn’t allow them to pay for my college tuition and everything else. They’d covered it up as a scholarship, but I found out differently when I called the school to ask some questions. Embarrassment and pride kept me from talking to them about it. One day, I would repay them. Until then I was going to keep my debt to a minimum. Still distracted, she glanced around the room again. “Cassie, what’s wrong with you? What are you looking for?”

  “Nothing.” Her tone told me differently. “I thought I saw a girl from my Spanish class.”

  That excuse might have worked on someone who hadn’t known her for years, but I wasn’t buying it. She’d gone pale. Her eyes were wide, frantically searching the room for something, not someone. Her gaze darted to corners, under desks, and on the floor.

  Not many students hung out there. “Did you lose something?” It was the only logical conclusion to justify her odd behavior.

  “No.” She turned toward me, looking confused. “I don’t know.” Her skin was tight. A ruddy glow spread up her neck and her breath came rapidly.

  I touched her shoulder. “What is it? I’ll help you find it.”

  She sighed. “It doesn’t matter.”

  She was trying to dismiss the subject. Unfortunately, I still had no clue what we were even talking about.

  “Hey,” she said brightly. “The first home-game is Saturday. You’re coming, right?”

  I mustered up as much animation as I could. “Wouldn’t miss it!”

  “Could you sound any more bored?” Her zeal heightened the intensity of her next words. “This is going to be a terrific game.”

  All games were wonderful to Cassie. She wouldn’t care if it was raining, snowing, or worse. She would find something to exaggerate about. “I’m excited. Really.”

  “Pretend I believe you,” she said dryly.

  I put a sly twist into my smile thinking of our old games. “Only if you pretend I’m just as stoked as you are.”

  “Deal,” she said.

  I sauntered my way to my acrylics class wondering if I expected way too much of myself. I had thought my art classes would be easy, but I found them more difficult than I had anticipated.

  The other day I went over my schedule with my counselor. If I had even a shot of getting into the FBA program, I had a lot of work ahead of me. The competition was fierce, and if I didn’t step up my game, I would be lucky to get my BA.

  Every art teacher I’d had since the seventh grade had raved about my talent. From the artwork I had seen already, all the students in the Fine Arts program had amazing gifts. What I had to find out was how mine differed from theirs. I loved all kinds of art: sculpting, writing, dancing, even drama—when other people did it—not so much when I attempted it.

  I especially excelled in painting. My dream was to become world renowned, but I had to have connections for that to happen. I just didn’t quite know how to get them yet.

  I hurried into the classroom and took out my supplies. The dull landscape on the easel mocked me. I’d gotten the composition right, but the colors needed work. I was going for serene, but I had missed the mark by a few thousand miles.

  Professor Brown said, casing the classroom, “How do you feel when you think about the place you have chosen? What noises do you hear? Is the wind blowing?”

  He stood near my shoulder, observing me. The fresh scent of his soap wafted around me, but it couldn’t disguise the intimidation that seeped into my heart. Did he want me to answer him? I glanced at him sidelong.

  He shook his head fractionally. Even though I waited for him to do it, he didn’t roll his eyes. “Your job is to make me feel the wind, hear the birds, and smell the flowers. You need to create a mood with your color choices.” He put a pointed twist in his tone. “Exact matches of nature will only leave your work flat.”

  Thankfully he moved on to terrorize a girl in the next row. I had always gone for realism in my work, but perhaps he had a point.

  I rearranged the pictures in my hands. Looking at the images brought back some of my happiest memories of mine and Cassie’s favorite spot to play, but those wouldn’t translate onto the canvas. I had to figure out how to capture my feelings with color. Cool-tones were serene to me, but those were hardly hues associated with the desert.

  I spent most of class just trying to mix the right green. By the time I left, I was tempted to chuck my brushes across the room. Professor Brown hadn’t come around again, and I was thankful.

  When I raced out of the building I nearly ran over Natalie Walker. A guilty smirk tugged on my lips. “Sorry. I need to pay more attention to where I’m going.”

  Her emerald eyes absolutely shone with hilarity. “I swear that was what you said the last time I saw you.”

  “Yeah, well, you’d think I would have learned my lesson.” I sent her a big smile. “How are things?” I liked Natalie. She was cheerful, and that was something I could use in bucketfuls.

  Her gaze darted around as though she were a secret agent worried about eavesdroppers. She motioned me closer, whispering, “I had no idea that a barely concealed convent could be this much fun.”

  I didn’t know how the school compared to a real nunnery, but I shrugged at her irreverent statement. The whole Catholic thing was new to me. Maybe it was an inside joke? “Do you know something about this place that I don’t?” I had done quite a bit since coming here, but I wouldn’t classify much of it as pleasurable.

  Her brows furrowed in confusion. “You’re not enjoying your classes?”

  I shifted my backpack to the other shoulder. “It’s just harder than I thought it would be.” My gaze fell to my loafers. “It also doesn’t help that Cassie and I haven’t been getting along very well.”

  “That’s no good. But who’s Cassie?”

  I couldn’t believe I hadn’t mentioned her the other day. “My best friend. She’s also my roommate.” She was way more than that to me. She was like my sister—one that felt more like my second cousin twice removed on my great aunt’s side, lately.

  Natalie’s eyes narrowed slightly. She pursed her lips thoughtfully, shielding her eyes from the glaring sun. “You’re way braver than I am. I need my own space. That’s why I picked a single in Regina. Why are you fighting?”

  I didn’t know the answer to her question. I moved a little bit so she wouldn’t have to squint at me. “It’s a long story.”

  She grabbed my arm lightly, pulling me into motion. “I’m not trying to pry, but if you need to talk…”

  She didn’t have to say another word. I had to talk to someone or burst. “She’s refusing to tell me something, and I don’t quite know how to handle it.” Cassie and I hadn’t had a real conversation in days. The amorphous blob of tension in our room had become difficult to maneuver around. Time to change the subject. My problems with Cassie had already taken up too many of my thoughts today. “What are you doing that is so much fun, anyway?”

  Natalie’s features turned bright. She squealed. “I met a guy over the summer.”

  From the look on her face he was the best thing since chocolate. “Lucky,” I said, if a little insincere. I didn’t need that sort of complication in my life. One thing had me curious, though. She couldn’t have been here much longer than I had. “That’s awesome. I was about to ask you how you met him so soon? Boys are sc
arce around these parts.”

  “He’s a student at Notre Dame, so I actually get to see him more now than when we were home.” Her eyes glazed over while a pretty blush colored her cheeks. “I’ve only known him for two months, but it feels like years. You should have seen me when I found out he attended Notre Dame. They could barely get me off the roof.”

  I’d felt that way once, too. Infatuation is a dangerous thing. It masquerades as love when you don’t know any better. I hoped that when I had the feeling again, I would be wise enough to tell the difference. I stopped my mind from rummaging through the place that housed the feelings I once harbored for Brody Smith. He just wouldn’t stay buried.

  “What’s he like?” I asked.

  “He’s cute, funny, clumsy—”

  “I am not,” a man said from behind us.

  Natalie gasped, turning. Her smile along with the blush coloring her cheeks set her face aglow. “Rayla, this is Sam.”

  He looked like he was a few years older than me. He had a flashy smile, deep brown eyes, a hawk nose, and straight black hair cropped below his ears. Natalie captivated him so much he barely glanced at me.

  “Good to meet you,” I said.

  He grabbed Natalie’s hand and pulled her against him. “I might say the same if my girl here wasn’t making me sound like such a loser.” He cocooned her slowly in his arms.

  “I was not,” Natalie said indignantly, but her body language belied her tone as she leaned into him.

  He tweaked her nose. “First of all, baby, no guy ever wants to be called cute. Second, clumsy is not a redeeming quality. And funny is for friends, not your hot new boyfriend.” With that said, he gave her a teasing smile.

  She shook her head seriously. “You didn’t let me get to the best part.”

  “Which was?” Sam asked.

  She craned her neck, her eyes sweeping over him before she nudged him gently. “What a great kisser you are.”

  Sam took his turn at blushing. They were cute together, but I was totally in the way.

  “Hey, Natalie, can I borrow your cell for a minute?” I wanted to find out if my hunch was correct: That I wouldn’t be able to make any calls home.

  When she handed me her phone, I stepped quickly away from the two of them. Oh, brother. The wallpaper was a picture of her and Sam, lips locked.

  I walked over to a bench, dialing home. To my utter surprise, Jenny answered.

  My breath whooshed out when I heard her voice. “Hi Jen!” I said. “Is Grace home?”

  Jenny grunted as if I had lost it. “She’s at work. How’s Snow?”

  That was stupid of me. My aunt was nearly always out. I should have tried her cell, but why hadn’t Aunt Grace told Jenny I wasn’t in Utah anymore? I didn’t have the time or the desire to get into that subject. “It’s good—busy.”

  “I want details, Rayla. Have you met any cute guys?”

  She sounded so excited I couldn’t disappoint her. I still remembered the new-found interest I had for boys at twelve. “A few,” I lied. Sam was the first guy I had actually met since coming here.

  “I miss you,” she said, her voice cracking.

  Tears sprang to my eyes. “Me, too.” I hadn’t considered how much I would miss my family when I decided to come here. I hadn’t thought about a lot of things.

  She sniffed. “When are you coming home?”

  “I don’t know. I promise I will as soon as I can.” Guilt crept into my soul. She was really young, and I had left her to take care of Sarah. “How are things? Is Sarah minding you?”

  “It’s okay. It’s just not the same here without you.”

  I cringed. “Do you like your new room?” I figured she would be happy having some space to herself.

  “Yeah, it’s good. I’ve been using your lights, though. I think it’s going to take a little while for me to get used to sleeping alone.”

  I had hung Christmas lights across my entire ceiling, pretending they were for decoration. Fact was: I couldn’t sleep without them, not with the dark closing in on me. “Play the stereo, but not too loudly. Don’t give Travis an excuse to get you kicked out.” Travis had begged for my room, but Aunt Grace thought it was silly to move him and Jenny.

  “I’ll try that.”

  “I’d better go, Jen. Will you have Aunt Grace call me?”

  “I’ll tell her, but I’m not making any promises. She’ll be back at six.”

  I hung up more nostalgic than I could have ever imagined. Jenny was probably helping Sarah with her homework. Who would have ever guessed I would regret skipping that part of my day? I got voice mail when I called Aunt Grace’s cell. Figures.

  Natalie and Sam were making out under a tree when I rounded the corner. I was tempted to take off with her phone just in case mine didn’t work later, but I interrupted them instead. “Hi.” I reluctantly held the phone out to her. “Um, here, Natalie.”

  She wiped her mouth, smiling. “Did I mention what a great kisser Sam is?”

  I nodded. “Got that.”

  Awkward.

  “Hey, come get something to eat with us,” she said.

  I was about to decline when Sam mentioned they were meeting up with some friends. I could use more of those, especially now that Cassie was being so distant. Besides, I did have time to kill before my last class of the day. It didn’t hurt that I had skipped lunch. Since coming here, my appetite had nearly vanished. Still, I could make myself eat.

  When we walked into the cafeteria, I searched the tables wondering which group I would be joining. My gaze landed on the most striking man I had ever seen. His dark walnut hair fell in a messy array around his tawny features. To my surprise, we headed toward him. The man smiled charmingly as we walked closer. His bright eyes pulled me in, trapping me.

  A thick sapphire halo encased his startling pale blue irises. When I got closer, a starburst of aqua was visible around his pupils. It wasn’t the beauty of his odd eyes, exactly, that made my knees nearly buckle. I didn’t know what it was, but I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. My heart danced wildly to his tune.

  When the group stood, he towered over them, nearly a head taller than everybody else. He wore a black tee that clung in just the right places with faded jeans slung low on narrow hips and worn leather boots covering his rather large feet. I tried my hardest not to gawk.

  He smirked knowingly. I smiled as if I had just seen my first parade.

  The room full of people melted away, blocked out by the radiance of this one man—until Natalie cleared her throat.

  “Rayla, this is Zach.”

  “Hi,” I said breezily.

  “Back at you,” he replied with a lopsided grin and a barely noticeable lilt to his deep voice. Slight dimples lent a boyish charm to his otherwise chiseled features. “Come sit by me, Rayla.” He held his hand out to me expectantly. “I was beginning to feel like the odd man out.”

  No wonder. We were surrounded by couples. Natalie and Sam hadn’t bothered to mention that. I took a deep breath, lacing my fingers with his—and gasped. When his skin touched mine, an electric anticipation ran up my hand then spread throughout my entire frame like a warm flowing spring.

  Zach studied me, peering down at me through narrowed lashes. “Something wrong, love?”