Forgotten Silence: A Grey Wolves Novella
“Um, Costin, what is she talking about?”
He was as confused as his mate. “I have no clue.”
“DON’T MAKE ME COME IN THERE! Oh, and I have your kid. I kidnapped him earlier when Thia woke me up. Y’all need to think about some sort of security if you sleep so deep that I can steal your son,” Jen yelled.
Sally started to bury her head in his chest but then redirected for the pillow. Costin wasn’t having it. He moved her shoulders so that her forehead landed on his sternum. “You lean on me, Sally. Got it? From here on out, you lean on me.”
She nodded after a few heartbeats. “You. I lean on you,” she repeated.
He kissed the top of her head. “Good girl. Now…” He gently pushed her back and rolled her over. “Let me go deal with your best friend before she breaks down our door. I’ll find out what she’s done with our kid and then we can get ready.”
She smiled up at him. It wasn’t her usual big smile, but it was a start.
Costin snatched a robe from the back of a chair as he headed toward the front door of their suite. His steps felt lighter than they had the night before and, though things weren’t entirely fixed—not by a long shot, he finally felt as though they were moving in the right direction.
He pulled the door open to find a perturbed looking Jen staring back at him.
“You walk too slow,” she said coolly.
“What is this about packing and a flight?” he asked, ignoring her comment.
“Sally is one of my best friends. I would do just about anything for her. Seeing her in a broken heap on her bathroom floor last night was not cool, dimple boy, not cool at all. Now, based on your relaxed face, I can tell there’s been some mending done between the two of you. That’s good. But I still pulled rank on you and made the decision, along with Alina, Lilly, and Jacque to send you and Sally on a little trip. I’ll fill you both in downstairs. Hurry it up.”
He started to respond but Jen pushed him back far enough into the suite that she was able to grab the door and slam it closed in his face.
“Get a move on DB, daylight’s a wasting.” He heard her yell through the closed door, her footsteps getting further and further away.
Costin rubbed his face as his wolf growled. He didn’t like being touched by another female, no matter how brief. Having gone without Sally’s touch for so long, hers was the only one he desired.
With a final grumble he headed back to their room, willing to humor Jen, but he wasn’t about to rush any time he had with his mate. He’d rather endure Jen’s wrath than sacrifice a second with Sally.
Chapter Three
“They say it takes a village to raise a child. And while I agree with that sentiment, I don’t believe that a person meets some magical age where they no longer need the village. I believe that even when a child has grown into an adult, the village is still just as important as it was when they were younger. They still need the support, love, and guidance. They still need to feel that acceptance from people who will stick by them no matter what. So, really, it takes a village to help a person from the moment their eyes open for the first time until their eyes close for the last time.” ~Sally
Sally bit her lip when Costin’s hands slid down her side as he pulled her shirt down. From the moment they’d climbed out of bed, he hadn’t been more than two feet from her. He touched her every chance he got, with a hand on her hip, fingers brushing across the nape of her neck, or his lips grazing her shoulder. He was overwhelming her, but not in a bad way.
When she’d gone into the closet to get dressed, he’d followed her and began helping her undress. She had felt the determination in his mind and knew there was no point in arguing with him. She let him help, and the little touches continued.
When all of her clothes were in place, he pressed a kiss to her lips and smiled down at her. “You’re beautiful,” he said, and, through their bond, she could sense just how much he meant those words.
“Thank you,” she replied, feeling as though her words were an incredibly inadequate response.
“Any time, love,” he murmured against her cheek, his warm breath causing a shiver to run down her spine.
At least she knew the attraction she felt for him wasn’t gone. Costin could still cause her body to flush and her breathing to quicken simply by uttering sensual words or touching her softly. She’d been attracted to him since the moment they’d met, and that attraction had only grown as their relationship progressed. Sometimes it felt so raw and animalistic, which was strange to her.
“That’s my wolf you’re feeling, Sally.” He purred into her mind. “Most of the time I can keep his desires shielded from you. But I’m beginning to think that maybe you need to feel what man and wolf combined feel for our mate.”
The sensual tone in his voice and the bedroom eyes that were boring into hers seemed to push at the dark thoughts that still covered her mind. She wanted to believe every word out of her mate’s mouth. But she was so scared.
She felt his fingers slide through hers, and then he was tugging her forward out of their closet. “We need to make tracks or Jen’s going to be coming in after us.”
She followed, but started to pull her hand back as they walked into the hall. Costin only held it tighter. “Not letting go, remember?” he asked, looking at her from the corner of his eye. “You are mine, Sally. And until you fully believe that again, I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
They followed the sound of voices until they entered the kitchen. It was a flurry of movement. Sally thought it looked like synchronized chaos as food was passed around, glasses full of orange juice or milk traded hands, and bodies slid past each other headed for one destination or another. Never once did anyone bump into one another.
Jacque was the first to notice them, and she froze in mid-bite, a piece of bacon hanging limply from her closed lips. Fane noticed her reaction and stopped as well, following his mate’s gaze. Then the whole kitchen paused, and all eyes were on them. Sally fidgeted under their scrutiny. She felt as if they were waiting for her to have another breakdown.
“Morning,” Costin said, breaking the silence. “We would have moved faster, Jen, if you’d mentioned that hogs had descended on the kitchen and were in the process of raiding it.”
“Did I not mention that?” Jen asked as her eyes widened innocently. She shrugged. “Must have slipped my mind.”
Alina stepped forward from the crowded kitchen and motioned them over. “I saved you both a plate. I knew there’d be nothing left if I didn’t.”
“Wait, there’s more bacon?” Fane asked, his head whipping around to the plates his mother was pulling out from behind two cereal boxes.
“Not for you,” Alina said.
Fane looked at his mate, who still had bacon hanging from her mouth.
Jacque narrowed her eyes and spoke around the bacon. “Don’t you even think about it.”
He finally relented with a huff and took the seat next to her. It wasn’t until Fane glanced down to his side did Sally notice that Slate was sitting in a bouncy seat on the floor.
“Don’t let your mate slight you on your bacon, Slate. You make a stand.”
“A stand for bacon?” Jen asked dryly.
“I can’t think of a worthier cause,” Decebel said as he shoved a piece into his mouth.
“Really?” Jen asked with a spark in her eyes. “Because I can think of a few things you like even more than bacon, like—”
“NO!” The room erupted at once, and even Sally joined in on the declaration.
“NO!” Thia yelled from the high chair where she sat and then grinned big when all eyes turned to her.
“Traitor,” Jen grumbled at her daughter though her voice was filled with affection.
Sally looked around and then back to Jen. “Where’s Titus?”
“Gavril carried him off after he ate. He’s in good hands. Oh, Dec, I forgot to tell you.” Jen cast a dangerous smile at him. “I ordered Slate a wooden castle playhouse.??
? She paused and then smiled wider. “Actually, I ordered two.”
Wadim and Zara walked in on the tail end of Jen’s statement, and Zara smiled big. “Is this another Alpha-Luna argument I get to give commentary on?”
“No.” Decebel grunted. “Commentary is completely unnecessary.”
“I kind of feel like it is necessary,” Jacque said.
Jen nodded. “Agree, totally necessary.”
Without even thinking about it, Sally gave a thumbs-up as she dug her fork into her eggs. “I’m with them.” It felt so good to feel a part of her pack. She wasn’t even close to being over anything, but, for the moment, she was surrounded by people who loved her, and she fit with them.
Breakfast continued much the same way. Jabs being passed between Jacque and Jen, or Jen and Decebel, or Jen and Fane. It didn’t go unnoticed that Jen was the common denominator in all the arguments. Even Zara got a few in on Wadim, which completely tickled Jen.
“Do you have to argue with everything we say?” Jacque finally huffed as some of them began to stand and take their plates to the sink.
“Red, think about how boring life would be if we all just got along with each other all the time.”
“I think some would call that peaceful,” Fane said.
Jen snorted. “That’s not peaceful. That’s complacency. There’s nothing wrong with a good, healthy argument to make you see if your own opinions are air tight.”
“Jen, we were talking about the brand of diapers Slate seems to do best in. Why on earth do our opinions on diapers need to be airtight?” Jacque asked.
“Having a firm footing on where you stand on diaper brands is essential to having a quicker shopping experience when you’re in the store with a screaming child. You don’t have to think. You just grab what you already know is exactly what you want.” Jen smiled as if she’d just said the smartest thing since Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.
Sally snorted. “Sorry, Jen, but that was lame.”
“I think that should be my next T-shirt,” Wadim said. He ducked as a biscuit flew over his head.
Lilly walked in with Cypher by her side, and his hand reached out and snagged the flying baked good. He didn’t even miss a beat as he took a bite out of it and nudged his mate forward.
“Good morning,” Lilly said, her brow raised as she looked around the room. “Should I be concerned that there is food flying across the kitchen?”
Vasile stood from his place at the head of the table and shook his head. “It really isn’t breakfast if Jen hasn’t thrown a baked good at someone. And now that she has, I’m going to get started on my day.” He pressed a kiss to his mate’s lips and then left the room.
It wasn’t long after Vasile left that the room gradually cleared until Sally, Costin, Jen, Jacque, Alina, and Lilly were the only ones left.
“Why do I feel like this is an intervention?” Sally asked slowly.
Jen smacked Jacque’s shoulder. “I told you she’d think that. We totally should have ambushed her in bed.”
“And that wouldn’t have felt like an intervention?” Jacque asked.
Sally bit her bottom lip as she shook her head. “No, that would have felt like Jen being the nosy cow we know and love.”
“Good point,” Jacque said. “Next time we’ll do it your way.”
“If you would all just learn to do it my way the first time, then we wouldn’t get into half our usual messes,” Jen grumbled.
Jacque was about to argue, but Lilly held up her hand. “We have more important things to discuss.”
The two girls nodded. Jen added, “You’re right. I can berate y’all later.”
Sally met Lilly’s eyes as the woman who was like a mom to her smiled. “I’m not going to sugarcoat anything. You have us worried … really, really worried. Last night while you slept, Rachel took a look inside your head.”
Sally’s eyes widened, and her chest felt tight. “She looked into my mind?”
“Without her permission,” Costin growled.
Sally put a hand on his arm, hoping to calm her wolf down. She wasn’t happy about Rachel getting in her head, but she didn’t want her mate doing something he’d regret either.
“Sally, you know why we did it,” Jen spoke up. “The things you were saying, sweetie. We couldn’t just pass them off as you being sad.”
Costin’s head whipped around to look at her. “What things were you saying?”
Sally knew exactly what they were talking about. She’d basically told them that taking her last breath was looking better and better as each day grew worse and the darkness inside of her continued to eat away at her soul. The healer closed her eyes. She didn’t want to look at him when she answered, but Sally should have known better than to think he’d let her get away with it.
“Sally, mine, open your eyes and look at me.”
She did.
“What did you say that had them scared enough to let a healer in your head without your consent?”
She opened her mouth, and then closed it, opened it again, and closed it. She knew she looked like a gasping fish out of water. Her eyes darted to the others, and Lilly gave her an encouraging nod.
She finally breathed out. “It would be easier for me to show you. I can’t say it, not to you, Costin.” She reached for his mind through their bond and, with much sorrow in her heart, showed her mate just how far she’d fallen into the dark depths of her own mind. She let him see the dreams, the times she cried in the shower, unable to catch her breath. She showed him the anguish she felt just before Jen and Jacque broke into the bathroom. She confessed she’d entertained thoughts of leaving this world. It broke her heart to let him see those things, and she felt shame choking her airways.
“Shhh, Sally.” She heard his soothing voice in her mind. “There’s no shame here, beloved mate. You never have to hide from me, never.”
Sally felt his arms come around her, and she opened her eyes. They were alone. Everyone had left and she found herself grateful for their consideration. Falling apart with Costin was hard enough, she didn’t need more of an audience. She looked up at Costin and stifled a sob as she saw a tear roll down his chiseled cheek. She had caused that. She just kept hurting him.
“Hey,” he said gently. “My tears are for you, Sally, not because of you. Your pain is my pain. Your sorrow is my sorrow. Every smile that you give me is mine. Every tear you shed is also mine. I don’t know what it will take to prove to you that nothing has changed between us. We’ve been through hell, but we can either let it make us stronger or we can let it destroy us. I personally would prefer the former.”
Costin stood and knelt in front of her. It was then that she saw the basin of water, a washcloth, and a towel.
“Thank you, Alina,” he said as the Alpha female, which Sally hadn’t even noticed, left them.
He smiled up at her, and those amazing dimples appeared. They still made her heart speed up.
“I feel it is necessary to remind you of my place in your life. When we started this journey, I knelt before you and professed my desire to be a servant leader in our family. That means I am willing to do any task that will better us as a pair, any task that will serve you and show you my love.” He slipped the shoes from her feet and then took off her socks. His hands were firm and steady as he rolled up her jeans. Her skin warmed under his touch, and she saw his smile as he noticed her reaction to him.
His fingertips ran down her calves, causing her to shiver. Costin picked up her right foot and propped it on his thigh. Then he took the washcloth and dipped it into the water. Sally didn’t think she could love him more than she already did. She was wrong.
“Do you remember me whispering in your ear the night we were bonded and married? The things I said to you when we joined as one for the first time?”
She nodded her head slowly, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
“You are the air I breathe, the food I eat, the water that quenches my thirst, Sally mine.
”
Sally swallowed hard as she realized he was repeating the words he’d said in their bedroom after their bonding ceremony and wedding. His hands were moving up her calf, just as he had done the first time he washed her feet, always pushing the limits.
“You are what I have waited for, what I have so desperately needed, and what I could never deserve. Every whispered promise, every confession, every longing, hope, and dream I have shared with you from that night until this morning. Those are my vows to you, my love. All you need to know is that I am yours, unequivocally, and you are mine.”
He set her right foot down and picked up the left one, again resting it on his thigh, and began the process all over again.
“What I would add to those words that I shared with you the night I made you mine in every way is this.” He looked her straight in the eyes, practically daring her to look away. “Every trial we have faced since that night has only made me more determined to make sure you remain with me always. I want you with me, Sally, because I know I will choose to love you even when you think I shouldn’t. I want you as my mate—my wife—because I know when I screw up and get it wrong, you will choose to love me. You are my true mate, my best friend, my beloved. Bond or not, I would choose you even if true mates did not exist.”
Pausing, he dried off each leg and foot, then rolled her jeans back into place. He tenderly put her socks and shoes back on her feet. But instead of standing, he pushed her legs apart and walked on his knees until he was in between them with his hands firmly gripping her hips.
“I’m going to ask you to do something for me, and I am going to do the same thing for you.”
“Okay,” she said hesitantly.
“I want you to write down the things that you need from me. How can I serve you? How can I meet your needs? What are the things I can do to help you get past the thoughts that are telling you that you don’t deserve me? I, in turn, am going to write down the things I need from you. The actions that will meet my needs, make me feel loved and respected. Are you willing to do that?”