Barely a Bride
“I hear His Grace, the Duke of Sussex, paid you a lengthy visit.”
Alyssa sat in the main salon on a sofa across from the Marquess of Shepherdston and Viscount Grantham, watching as Shepherdston gracefully balanced a cup and saucer on his knee and Grantham attempted to do the same—but not nearly as gracefully.
“You and everyone else in the ton,” she muttered.
“How’s that?” the marquess asked.
“I said His Grace paid calls during his recent stay at Haversham House.” Alyssa sighed. Shepherdston was a bit more slender, and his eyes were a light, almost golden brown instead of blue, but he reminded her very much of Griffin. Griffin would never be quite as elegant or refined because he was bigger—taller and broader of shoulder and hip. But his voice… She struggled to keep from trembling with longing at the sound of it because Jarrod’s voice was nearly identical to Griffin’s—or her memory of Griffin’s voice—and Shepherdston and Griffin appeared to share a great many mannerisms: the lift of the eyebrow, the tilt of the head, the way they both frowned when deep in thought.
“Then the rumors are true,” Colin said.
“That depends upon the rumors, Lord Grantham.” Turning her attention back to the marquess, Alyssa added, “His Grace paid the first call in order to present me with a gift to celebrate Lord Abernathy’s and my wedding.”
“What sort of gift did His Grace bestow?” Grantham demanded in a thick Scottish burr that did nothing to conceal his disregard for the duke.
Alyssa concentrated on the viscount, studying him at length. He was very handsome and charming in a rougher sort of way than Griffin or Shepherdston. A fraction shorter than both his friends, Grantham had a stockier build with wide shoulders and heavily muscled thighs. His hair was sandy blond, and he wore it longer than was fashionable, but it was his grayish green eyes and the cleft in his stubborn chin that seemed to define his looks. Looks that were the antithesis of the Marquess of Shepherdston’s. “A pair of mute swans, a peacock and his hen, and an orchid plant his mother named in my honor.”
“The Dowager Duchess of Sussex named a plant in your honor?” Shepherdston shook his head. “As a wedding gift?”
“An early wedding gift.” Alyssa emphasized the word. “In honor of her son’s bride.” She watched as the expression on the marquess’s elegantly handsome face went from confusion to complete understanding.
“Since I married Griffin, the duke could rightfully assume that Mir—the woman he marries—the future Duchess of Sussex—might object to having a rare flower named for some other lady on the premises. So he made me a gift of it.” She couldn’t be certain, but she thought that Griff’s friends were deliberately baiting her—testing her to see how she’d react.
“That was nice of him.” Colin’s reply was laced with sarcasm. “Seeing as how you are married to Abernathy.”
But Alyssa refused to be baited. “I thought so,” she said. “After all, the plant is very rare and very valuable to collectors.”
“People collect plants?” Shepherdston was intrigued despite himself.
Alyssa leveled a look at him. “Does it surprise you, my lord? Surely, you understand that people collect many things, especially rare and valuable things.”
“Including mistresses,” Colin added.
Alyssa glared at him. “I’ve done nothing to encourage His Grace to continue to pay me court.”
Jarrod cocked an eyebrow. “And yet he paid a call here nearly every day he was in residence at Haversham House. And you invited him.” Jarrod didn’t like baiting her, but he wanted to make certain Griff’s wife hadn’t changed her mind about Sussex. After all, he and Colin had sent the duke.
“Only because Miran—” She broke off, then looked up to meet their curious gazes. She took a deep breath. “I invited His Grace to visit because Lady Miranda was here.”
“To act as chaperone for the two of you?” Colin asked.
“No, you…you…” Alyssa did something she almost never did. She lost her temper. “You lackwit!”
Colin blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
“You should beg my pardon!” Alyssa snapped. “I not only married your fellow Free Fellows League member, but I was foolish enough to fall in love with him.”
Colin froze, brought up short by her anger and her slip of the tongue. “I can’t believe Griffin confided in you.”
“Griffin didn’t confide in me!” she exclaimed. “Griffin doesn’t know that I know anything about your secret League.”
“Then who?” Colin demanded.
“You,” she answered, meeting Colin’s stare. “And you.” She glanced at Jarrod.
“That’s impossible.” Jarrod shot Colin a warning glance before he narrowed his gaze at Alyssa. “No such organization exists.”
“Yes, it does,” she contradicted him.
“All right,” Jarrod answered in a soothing tone of voice designed to humor her. “Tell us about it. Tell us what you think you know of a league of Free Fellows.”
Alyssa repeated the conversation she’d overheard at Almack’s.
“How?” Jarrod demanded.
“I was standing behind the potted palms,” she answered. “I couldn’t make my presence known without revealing that I’d overheard. And, quite frankly, I was fascinated by your conversation.”
Colin frowned. “You agreed to marry Griff after hearing all of that? Knowing he didn’t want you?”
She smiled at Colin. “He wanted me,” she answered. “He didn’t want a wife. There’s a difference, Lord Grantham.”
“Very good, Lady Abernathy.” Jarrod applauded.
“I may have been innocent when I married him, but I recognized that look in his eyes the first time I saw him. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I knew it sent tingles up and down my spine, and that was more than any other man had ever managed to do.”
“Including Sussex?” Colin drawled.
“Especially Sussex!” Alyssa snapped. “I wish everyone would stop pushing him at my head. He was never my choice, only my mother’s. I didn’t want him before I married Griffin, and I’m not interested in becoming his mistress now.”
“What about his duchess?” Jarrod asked.
“I could have been his duchess if that’s what I wanted. Ask Griffin. He knows.” She threw her hands up in a gesture of pure frustration. “I only allowed His Grace to call at Abernathy Manor because Lady Miranda St. Germaine wants him.”
Jarrod shook his head. “Not likely. Those two despise one another. Have for ages.”
“Think again,” Alyssa said. “Miranda didn’t act as chaperone for me. I served as a chaperone for her.” She looked at each of the Free Fellows. “At least, it was supposed to appear that way.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Unfortunately, I’m not much of a chaperone.”
Jarrod took her measure. “You’re in love with Griff?”
She nodded.
“Does he know?”
“No,” she answered.
“What if he doesn’t love you in return?” he asked.
“He isn’t required to love me in return.” Alyssa met their gazes steadily. “I married him knowing that he did not. That doesn’t alter the fact that I love him.”
“What are you going to do?” Colin wanted to know.
“I’m going to love him,” she replied. “That’s all.”
“You aren’t going to try to change him? You aren’t going to try to make him settle down here at Abernathy Manor with you once he returns from the Peninsula?” Jarrod asked.
“I pray every day that Griffin will return from the Peninsula safe and sound,” she said. “And in exchange for his safety, I promised God I wouldn’t try to make Griffin do or be anything he doesn’t want to do or become. I’m in love with a Free Fellow, and I won’t make any claims upon him beyond those in the marriage settlement. He has fulfilled his obligation to me. He’s free to be whatever he wants to be. And wherever he wants to be.”
“Even if it’s not with you?” Colin
asked.
“Even so.” She bit her bottom lip to stop its quivering as she nodded.
“About the Free Fellows—” Jarrod began.
“No need to worry,” Alyssa assured him. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Is it?” Colin challenged.
“As safe as it is with you,” she retorted.
“Fair enough,” Colin answered.
They reached an understanding that night—Alyssa, Jarrod, and Colin. And what they all understood was that each of them, in his or her own way, had Griffin’s best interests at heart.
Alyssa respected and admired his friends for that. And they learned to respect and admire her. She loved their friend, but she promised to make no demands upon him.
Griff was as free as he’d ever been. Unless he chose otherwise. And Jarrod and Colin knew that he would never break his word. And neither would they. The Marquess of Shepherdston and Viscount Grantham continued to call upon Griff’s bride as often as they could and at least once a month as they had promised, secure in the knowledge that the secret of the Free Fellows League was safe.
She knew only what she’d overheard at Almack’s, and Alyssa, Lady Abernathy, would never reveal her husband’s secret association, endanger the current work of the League, or keep her husband from seeking his destiny.
She would never bind Griff with the bonds of love. Not because she didn’t want to but because she had given her word. And she intended to honor it.
Griff was a Free Fellow for life, unless he chose otherwise, and Jarrod and Colin knew that Griffin would never choose otherwise. He had given his word and made a blood oath, and he intended to honor it.