Defy the Stars

  I laughed again and we carried on walking along the winding cliff path. The rain teemed down as we reached the stony beach at the bottom. Clouds shrouded the moon, but the white tips of the waves lit up the sea as they sucked and spat pebbles back on to the ground.

  As we walked along, I started shivering from the cold. My clothes were damp against my skin and my body ached with exhaustion. I tripped over a large stone and, though Flynn’s arm around my shoulder prevented me from going flying, my ankle ached when I tried to put weight on it.

  I limped for a few steps, then stopped. Flynn was peering at the beach ahead.

  ‘What is it?’ I asked.

  ‘I just want to check something, wait here a sec.’ Before I could say anything, Flynn vanished into the darkness. I sat down on the damp stones and felt my ankle. It wasn’t badly hurt, but right now, as tired and cold as I was, it felt like the last straw.

  A few moments later and Flynn was back. He held out his hand and pulled me to my feet.

  ‘I’m afraid we can’t get to Starhaven. At least, not right now.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean that that the tide’s coming in and we’re going to be stuck in this bay until it goes out again,’ he said.

  19

  I stared at Flynn. ‘The tide’s coming in?’ I gazed up at the sheer rockface around the bay, my heart sinking at the thought of having to climb back up the cliff to escape the water. ‘Are you sure?’

  Flynn gazed out over the dark sea. It was broken only by small ripples of white. The bright lights of Starhaven shone in the distance.

  ‘Yes,’ he said.

  The rain was still falling heavily. My hair was plastered to my face. I brushed it away, feeling like crying.

  ‘It’s like we’re on a different planet,’ I said, swallowing down a sob. ‘A million miles away from everything. A million years.’

  Flynn pulled me towards him. His hands on my back felt strong and warm. ‘I don’t care where I am, so long as you’re here too.’

  I held him tight as the rain poured down around us and on us. Thunder rumbled in the distance. I shuddered at the sound.

  ‘It’s like the world’s ending,’ I said.

  Flynn held me more tightly.

  ‘I wouldn’t want to be in a world where you aren’t,’ he whispered.

  We clung to each other as a crack of lightning flashed through the sky. Over Flynn’s shoulder, the sudden blaze of white lit up the far corner of the beach. A dark shape loomed up, then vanished again as the lightning died away.

  ‘What was that?’ I pulled apart from Flynn and pointed to the end of the beach.

  He followed my gaze as more lightning split the sky. This time we both saw it clearly.

  ‘It’s a hut,’ Flynn said.

  ‘Come on.’

  He helped me hobble across the stones to the little wooden shed. Flynn yanked at the door. It swung open. We went inside. It was empty. Almost derelict in fact, with bare boards on the floor and walls and the wind whistling in between the slats. A blanket had been laid in the corner, next to a couple of candles and a box of matches.

  ‘Looks like someone uses this place already,’ Flynn said.

  ‘Maybe that means the tide doesn’t get this far up,’ I said.

  Flynn nodded. ‘Yeah, you’re right, otherwise this would be wet.’ He held up the blanket, then spread it over our shoulders. ‘Come on, at least this gets us out of the rain.’

  We huddled together at the back of the hut. Flynn put his arm across my back, nudging my head down against his chest. ‘Why don’t you try and sleep,’ he said. ‘Or is your ankle hurting?’

  ‘No, it’s better now I’m not walking.’ I tucked the blanket under me and nestled closer to him. We sat in silence. I had always marvelled at how easy it was for us to be together without speaking, as if the normal need for words to fill the void between two people just didn’t apply to Flynn and me. Now I marvelled twice over at how this was still the same despite the fact that we hadn’t seen each other for months.

  As we sat, holding each other, I started to feel warm for what felt like the first time in hours. I yawned, my body rising and falling against his.

  ‘Sleep, Riv,’ Flynn murmured. ‘Sleep. I’ll stay awake . . . keep watch.’

  ‘Keep the vampires from my door?’ I smiled. ‘Like in the song?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘With your undying, death-defying love for me?’

  ‘Go to sleep, Riv.’

  I closed my eyes. And I slept.

  I woke, feeling warm. The whole blanket surrounded me, pulled up over my head and down to my toes. For a moment I had no idea where I was, then all the memories of the day before rushed through me. My eyes sprang open. I was in a hut, on a beach. Strips of bright light shone in through the tiny gaps in the walls. Where was Flynn?’

  I turned sharply, expecting him to be on my other side.

  But he was gone.

  ‘Flynn?’ I sat up. ‘Flynn?’

  No reply.

  Blinking the sleep out of my eyes I struggled to my feet and hurried to the door. My ankle ached a little, reminding me of our clamber down the cliff last night, then all the terrible events that had preceded it.

  I pushed open the door. Light flooded the hut, blinding me. I held my hand, shielding my eyes from the sunshine.

  Wow. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was already high in a clear blue sky. I tilted my face up to its warmth for a second, then peered across the bay, looking for Flynn.

  The tide had clearly risen then retreated again and the sea was now in the distance, leaving a long stretch of beach that led to the town we had been aiming for last night.

  There he was – a thin, dark figure far away near the sea, silhouetted against the sun. He was bending over, picking something off the stones. Then he turned back, as if sensing me watching him.

  He raised his hand. I waved back, then pushed my hair off my face. Ugh. It was all matted, in dry, salty clumps at the side where I’d slept on it. Flynn was walking back towards me now. I glanced down at my clothes. They were covered in dirt. So were my legs and arms. My face must be the same, as well as streaked with make-up. I stood, self-conscious that I must look truly hideous.

  Flynn was running now. I held my breath, watching as he drew closer. He was so beautiful, all lean and muscular, with that perfect face. A bunch of seaweed dangled from his hand. What was that for?

  A second later, he reached me, his eyes more green than gold in the bright light.

  ‘It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?’ he breathed, dropping the seaweed at my feet.

  I drew back as he tried to kiss me. My stale breath would totally spoil the effect of this lovely morning.

  ‘Don’t. I look horrible,’ I said.

  Flynn blinked in surprise. ‘Riv.’ He hesitated. ‘I don’t know how to tell you just how beautiful you are to me. Right here. Right now. Always.’

  I stared at him. ‘Shut up, I’m a mess.’

  ‘No.’ Flynn took my face in his hands. He smoothed the skin under my eyes with his thumbs. ‘I love you.’

  I gazed into his eyes, my heart swelling. ‘I love you back.’

  We kissed, then Flynn bent down and picked up the bunch of seaweed. ‘I got this for your ankle.’

  He made me sit down, while he pressed the damp green fronds around the tender area. The seaweed felt wonderfully cool against my skin.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said.

  He kissed me again. We sat on the stones, watching the tide come in and out.

  ‘That wasn’t quite the last night together I’d imagined,’ he said softly.

  I glanced across at him and in that moment all the trauma of the past twenty-four hours seemed to melt away. For the first time since Cody had forced me into his car, I felt at peace.

  It wasn’t the sparkling sea or the bright, fierce sun. And it wasn’t knowing that here, on this beach in what felt like the middle of nowhere, we were safe.
br />   It was being here with Flynn, without drama or trauma.

  And in my heart I knew the truth, the clear, undeniable, powerful truth.

  We belonged together. It was really that simple.

  ‘Maybe we should give ourselves one more try at it,’ I suggested, shyly. ‘You know, have the whole of today and tonight, then go to the police tomorrow.’

  Flynn’s eyes lit up. ‘D’you mean it?’

  I nodded. We sat for a few moments longer, then wandered along the stony beach, keeping the tumbling waves on our right as we headed towards Starhaven. I was still limping a little, but I barely noticed, my heart was so full. A whole day more before I had to face the police. And reality.

  We held hands and chatted as we walked. ‘We’ll buy some food as soon as we can,’ Flynn said. ‘I want two hamburgers and a big bag of chips.’

  ‘I’d like a cheese sandwich and some lemonade. Proper lemonade,’ I added. ‘I’m so thirsty my tongue feels swollen.’

  We rounded our bay, then the next. Starhaven was only a mile or so away now. As we wandered hand in hand, a tramp appeared in the distance. His hair hung long over a stained orange T-shirt and his trousers were tied at the bottom with string.

  ‘D’you think it was his blanket we used in that hut?’ I whispered.

  ‘Maybe.’ Flynn put his arm protectively around me.

  The man gazed at us as we passed him. He had a thick beard and leathery-brown skin. His eyes were a striking pale blue with dark rings around the irises. He stopped as he saw Flynn.

  ‘Hello,’ he said, as if he knew him.

  ‘Hi,’ Flynn said uncertainly. His grip on my shoulder tightened.

  I looked at the tramp. His hair was completely matted, but his face was clean and his eyes were calm. I was sure he didn’t intend to hurt us.

  ‘Hello.’ I smiled.

  The tramp glanced at me, then back to Flynn. He waved his hand in the air, as if gesturing to another person.

  ‘Do you see him?’ he asked Flynn, tilting his head to one side.

  Flynn frowned. ‘See who?’

  There was a long pause. The waves crashed in my ears. The tramp sighed. ‘Death,’ he said. ‘He’s there, just behind you.’ He pointed at an empty space on the beach behind Flynn. Then he moved closer so I could see the brown and yellow of his teeth. He smiled, like he meant to be friendly. ‘He’s in the shadows, waiting.’

  Flynn’s mouth gaped.

  ‘Go away,’ I said firmly.

  The tramp ignored me. He was still gazing at the empty patch of beach.

  ‘It won’t be long,’ he said, in a matter-of-fact way, as if he were talking about when the next bus might arrive.

  Flynn and I stared at him, but he no longer seemed aware we were there. A moment later a seagull squawked overhead and he wandered away, leaving the two of us alone.

  20

  I turned to Flynn, feeling shaken.

  ‘What a weirdo,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah.’ Flynn shrugged. The shock had gone from his face, his expression now one of mild irritation. ‘Probably high.’

  ‘Right.’ I looked at him carefully. Despite his apparent unconcern, I could see the shadow of anxiety behind his eyes. ‘He was just some crazy guy, Flynn,’ I said.

  ‘Sure.’ He smiled. ‘I know.’

  I took his hand and we walked on, along the beach. Soon I forgot all about the tramp. It was just so lovely to be with Flynn, the sea sparkling and the sun shining. My ankle still ached a little, but not enough to spoil the walk. All the bad stuff that had happened last night felt like it belonged to some horror film. I knew that I was going to have to face the whole drama of Cody and the shooting eventually – but that would be tomorrow. Today stretched ahead of us.

  And tonight. A night in a proper room. Together.

  As we neared Starhaven, Flynn checked his phone again. ‘I’ve got a signal,’ he said. ‘D’you want to call your mum or dad again? I think they’ve left voice-mails.’

  I took his phone and searched the call log. Three unidentified mobile numbers appeared as missed calls from last night. There were five voicemail messages. I handed the phone back to Flynn.

  ‘I don’t want to speak to Mum and Dad right now.’

  Flynn peered at the call log. ‘Whose is the third number?’ he asked.

  ‘Leo’s, probably, but I can’t be sure.’ I sighed.

  ‘Leo was calling you?’ There was a sharp edge to Flynn’s voice.

  I looked up. He was frowning.

  ‘I told you,’ I said. ‘We’re friends. Good friends.’ I thought of Leo’s unhappy face when I’d told him I couldn’t see myself ever going out with him. ‘Just friends.’

  ‘He’s in love with you, isn’t he?’ Flynn stopped walking and stared at me.

  I hesitated. ‘Maybe,’ I said. ‘Yes, he hasn’t said it but I think he is.’

  Flynn gave a low growl.

  ‘But I don’t love him, Flynn.’ I took his hand. ‘And I’ve never let him think I did. I—’

  ‘It’s not that.’ Flynn frowned. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think I was mad.’ He kept hold of my hand as we started walking again. ‘I was just thinking maybe you’d be better off with . . . with someone like Leo.’

  My heart flipped over in my chest. ‘No,’ I said. ‘That’s not how it works. You can’t choose who you love. The universe just tells you.’

  Flynn snorted. ‘You’ve spent too much time on that hippy commune, Riv.’

  I grinned. ‘Whatever, you’re still stuck with me.’

  We walked on. In the end I decided to send a text to all three phone numbers to reassure them I was still okay. My message just said:

  Got delayed but I’m fine. Don’t worry. Home tomorrow. Love Rxxx

  I pressed send, then told Flynn to turn the mobile to silent, so we could ignore any further attempts to contact us.

  A few moments later we reached the outskirts of Starhaven. We slipped inside the public toilets on the seafront car park. I was shocked by how grubby my clothes and face were. I did my best to wash off the worst of the dirt and to scrape my filthy hair into a ponytail.

  ‘I so need a shower,’ I said.

  ‘Food first,’ Flynn said. ‘I’m beyond starving now.’

  We found a little café just past the car park. Neither the burgers nor the sandwiches looked great, so we ate a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. My ankle was starting to feel sore again now, so we didn’t waste any more time searching the area, but went into the first B & B we came too. Luckily it was perfect – clean and basic, with white curtains and wooden furniture. Our room was on the first floor overlooking the sea. We showered together, washing each other’s hair. I made Flynn scrub at mine until the skin smarted.

  After he’d finished he drew me close, kissing me as the water ran down our faces. Later, we sponged the worst of the dirt off our clothes, then lay down on the bed. We talked and we made love all afternoon. In the end we got hungry again. We didn’t have much money left – just enough for fish and chips, which we ate on the harbour beach, looking out at the boats.

  We finished as the sun set, then leaned against each other watching the moon over the water.

  After a while I shivered and Flynn took my hand and led me back to the B & B. It had been a beautiful day and we had talked about everything that mattered – our friends and families and work and college. Everything except the future.

  Back in our room, I brought the subject up. ‘Tomorrow morning, should we go to the police ourselves, or call my dad first?’

  ‘Your dad, I think,’ Flynn said. ‘Maybe he’ll meet us at the police station. We can try and explain everything to him there.’

  ‘Afterwards,’ I went on, ‘what do you think will happen? To you, I mean.’

  Flynn shrugged. ‘I’ll probably be arrested for all the work I did for Bentham. I can try explaining I didn’t know what he was involved with until he asked me to hide the first gun for him, but that was months ago. Even if
I give them information on Bentham’s operation, I’ll probably be charged.’ He sighed. ‘And even if I plead guilty, it’ll almost certainly be a custodial sentence.’

  ‘You mean prison?’ The possibility that Flynn might be arrested and charged had crossed my mind before, but I hadn’t seriously thought he would end up in jail. ‘How long for?’

  Flynn shrugged again. ‘Several years, I expect.’

  ‘What?’ I couldn’t believe it. ‘But you didn’t do anything with the gun.’

  ‘I hid it for people who did. Which makes me partly responsible for whatever they did.’

  ‘It won’t stop me seeing you,’ I insisted.

  Flynn hesitated. ‘Maybe it should.’ He frowned. ‘Anyway, your parents definitely won’t want you to.’

  ‘I don’t care.’ I wandered to the window. It was hard to believe things would be so different tomorrow. ‘I wish everything didn’t have to change.’

  ‘I know.’ Flynn sat up on the bed. ‘Let’s not talk about it any more. Hey, I wish we had some music.’

  I stared at him, suddenly remembering his present to me. ‘We do.’

  I fished the tiny iPod out of my pocket and we stood by the window, one earphone each, and swayed through all ten of Flynn’s River songs, gazing out at the waves as they swept into the harbour. We danced until it grew dark outside. Afterwards we lay on the bed and kissed. Soon, I knew, it would be the last kiss before the spell broke and we had to face reality again. I held Flynn more tightly than ever as he whispered his feelings in my ear. I felt so full of love for him, and yet the shadow of tomorrow loomed over us – dark and threatening. And when we made love it was furiously, as if bombs were falling all around us and this was our final defiant act on earth.

  I slept soundly, exhausted after the past forty-eight hours of tension and drama. And then, deep in the darkness of the night, something woke me: a noise or a feeling, I couldn’t tell. But I sat bolt upright in the bed, gasping for air.

  Flynn was already across the room, his ear pressed against the door.

  ‘What is it?’ I hissed.

  He motioned me to be quiet with his hand, listened for a moment longer, then crept back to the bed. He sat down beside me. Moonlight shone in through a gap in the curtains, lighting one side of his face. I stared at the slope of his nose and the way his hair fell over his eyes. The scar where his dad had wounded him so many years before was a puckered line on his shoulder. My heart pummelled in my chest.