Defy the Stars
Deeply regretting my earlier decision to ally myself with them and Sam, who was already drunk, I crept around the outskirts of the room, hoping no one would notice me as I headed upstairs.
I found a room and sat on the bed at its centre. It was a plain room, just a white duvet on the bed and no ornaments of any kind. It suited my bleak mood. After everything I’d been through, to know that Cody wasn’t going to be prosecuted and sent to prison was the last straw.
I put my head in my hands. I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come, so I just sat, listening to the music and laughter that drifted up from downstairs.
‘At least you won’t have to testify in court.’ It was Leo.
I looked up. He was standing in the doorway, an expression of sympathy on his face.
‘Your dad called,’ he said, holding out his phone to explain how he’d heard the news. ‘I’m so sorry, Riv.’
I bristled. Only Flynn was allowed to call me Riv. ‘Go away.’ I could hear my voice was like ice.
Leo blinked. ‘River, I’m sorry, I thought you might want to talk.’
‘I don’t,’ I said. ‘Not to you.’
Leo gasped. I looked down, fury roiling inside me. I knew I was being desperately unfair. Cruel, in fact. It wasn’t right to take my anger out on Leo. None of this was his fault.
‘Right.’ Leo was still in the doorway. I looked up. He was gazing at me, a look of total misery on his face.
Suddenly I felt mean. Disgusted with myself. I jumped up and ran over. ‘I’m sorry, Leo. I didn’t mean that. It’s just . . .’
He put his arms around me. It was good to be held. Maybe I should sleep with Leo instead of Sam. I hugged him back.
For goodness sake. What was I thinking? Sleeping with Leo would only hurt him more. And it wasn’t what I wanted at all. I should just be by myself.
With a sigh I pulled away.
‘This is my room,’ Leo said eagerly. ‘You can sleep here too if you like.’ He hesitated. ‘Or you can just have it.’
‘We can share it,’ I said. ‘As friends.’ I peered into Leo’s eyes to make sure he understood. ‘Share the bed, right, but that’s all?’
‘Okay.’ He nodded happily. ‘I’ll get your stuff from downstairs.’
‘No rush.’ I managed a smile. ‘It’s only nine o’clock.’
‘Right, yeah.’ Leo looked crestfallen.
For a second, I wondered if I was doing the right thing offering to share his room. Still, I’d made it clear nothing was going to happen.
We went back downstairs and I was instantly pleased that I wasn’t going to end up with the others in the basement or on the sofas overnight. All the punch was gone and Freddie, Emmi, Sam and both Grace’s friends were clearly totally drunk. They were playing some ridiculous game involving imitations of farmyard animals and a bottle of tequila.
I looked at Sam. He was so off his head that his eyes were glazed over and he was staring lustfully at the shorter of Grace’s two friends. Thank goodness I’d changed my mind about sleeping with him.
He told us with a slurred sneer that Grace and James had gone outside for a walk. Leo and I glanced at each other, then decided to go outside ourselves.
It was a mild evening and we sat on the gate of a nearby field, watching the stars slowly fill the sky as darkness fell over the countryside. We talked properly for the first time in ages. Whatever his true feelings, at least now Leo was speaking as if we were friends. Just friends. He even mentioned liking a girl he’d met on his visit to his new sixth form college in Devon. Of course, being Leo, he was quite low key about it, but I felt hopeful that it was a sign he was, perhaps, genuinely starting to move on from his crush on me.
By the time we went back inside the cottage it was past ten o’clock and properly dark. Sam and one of Grace’s friends were kissing on the sofa. Grace and James were watching TV holding hands, with Grace’s other mate looking very disgruntled beside them. There was no sign of Emmi and Freddie. I was guessing they had disappeared downstairs, into the basement bedroom.
Leo and I got ourselves some cold pizza from the fridge and sat at the kitchen table to eat it. After a while James and Grace joined us and we all charted together for a while.
It was nice. Yet, though I felt calmer than I had done earlier, there was still a dull, depressed weight inside me.
Leo and James and Grace were all lovely but my soul was with Flynn, wherever he was, whatever he was doing. I ached with longing to see him, to feel his kiss on my lips and his fingers gently stroking my face, whispering how much he loved me in my ear.
I sat back with a sigh. How was I ever going to survive the rest of my life without him? Was it always going to feel like this: small and limited and dull? How could anyone else ever make me feel alive like Flynn did?
I took my drink and wandered over to the window. It was pitch black outside, only a few lights twinkling from houses in the distance. And then my phone beeped. I glanced at it, assuming it was from Dad, with some sort of update on the Cody situation.
But it was from Flynn.
26
I stared at my phone, reading and rereading the text.
It’s me. I’m outside. I need to speak to you. Please come. After everything I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. Fx
Flynn was here? Outside?
I couldn’t believe it, and yet the text was from the number he’d given me, his phone. I peered through the window again. It was pitch black outside, just the light from the house casting spooky shadows across the gravel. There was no sign of anyone out there. Anxiety crawled across my skin, making me shiver.
‘Is everything all right?’ Leo asked from across the kitchen.
I turned to face him, but I barely saw him. My heart was thundering in my ears.
‘It’s fine,’ I said, forcing a smile on to my face. ‘I just need some air.’
‘And some company?’ Leo asked hopefully.
I caught Grace and James exchanging a look across the table.
‘Thanks, Leo, but no. I just want a minute outside alone.’ I sped away before he could say any more. Music was blaring out from the living room, Sam and Grace’s friend were still making out on the sofa. They didn’t look up as I raced past to the front door. As I opened it, my phone beeped again.
I’m going away, Riv. Abroad. I just want to say goodbye. I’m in the garage. Fx
I glanced across the gravel to the garage. Light from the door I’d just opened cast a narrow path from the house, past James’s car, to the garage door. The garage itself was still in darkness.
Why was Flynn being so mysterious? Well, the answer to that was obvious. He wouldn’t want to muscle in on the entire weekend without speaking to me alone first. He must know that he wouldn’t really be welcomed by any of the others, not even James.
As I hesitated, the inside of the garage lit up. Light spread out like a pool from the door, illuminating the gravel beyond. A five-pointed star had been drawn in the pebbles. Flynn had drawn a star just like that on Dad’s car window.
All my reservations about seeing him vanished. He was here, just a few metres away, waiting for me. I couldn’t turn my back.
I closed the door quietly behind me and raced across the gravel to the garage. The door was pulled shut, not properly closed. I pushed it open and peered inside.
‘Flynn?’ I whispered.
No reply.
I took another step through the door. ‘Flynn?’ I whispered again.
‘Here.’ The voice spoke in a low whisper. I turned towards its sound.
And then a dark figure loomed over me, the light went out and Cody slapped his hand over my mouth, silencing the scream that rose in my throat.
27
Cody dragged me backwards across the garage floor. I kicked and punched at him, but he was too strong. I tried to yell, but his gloved hand over my mouth muffled the sound. My fingers clawed at his. Panic filled me. I couldn’t tear him away. His skin smelled of stale cigarettes, his
cheek rough and cold against my face.
‘Quiet!’ he hissed. He held me tightly against him. The tough leather of his jacket pressed against my back. He dug his fist against my stomach. There was something in his hand. I looked down, on to the barrel of a gun.
I froze.
Panting, Cody spun me around. He pointed the gun at my chest and swore.
‘You stupid, stupid bitch,’ he whispered. The venom in his voice made me shiver.
He walked me back, into the corner of the garage. I glanced around. A low shelf stood on one side of me. It was full of drills and screwdrivers and bits of wood. On the other side a black tarpaulin lay crumpled on the floor. Cody pushed me back against the wall. It was cold through my top.
‘Flynn.’ His name slipped out of me in a sob.
‘Oh don’t you worry.’ Cody raised his gun so that the barrel rested against my neck. ‘I’m going after him too, make sure he pays for helping you run away from me. The pair of you have ruined my life. Bentham’s cut me loose, the police are on my case.’
I stared into his mean grey eyes. ‘But you’re free,’ I stammered. ‘I don’t understand, the police dropped all charges.’
‘They’re just waiting for me to slip up again,’ Cody spat. ‘It’s your fault they arrested me in the first place.’
‘If . . . if you hurt me, you’ll be caught . . .’
‘Will I?’ A nasty smile curled around Cody’s lips. ‘No one knows I’m here. And this is Flynn’s gun.’
I glanced down at the pistol. ‘Flynn’s?’
Cody nodded. ‘The one he was hiding for Bentham. Didn’t he explain how it works? Bentham and people like him . . . they don’t keep their guns with them, they keep people to hold them, people who have to be on standby, ready to deliver the gun where and when it’s needed at a moment’s notice.’
‘Flynn told me about that,’ I stammered. ‘He said he had done that . . . and that he’s stopped.’
‘Did he?’ Cody shrugged. ‘Well he’s back to it now. Bentham’s dumped me and given Flynn his job back. I took this gun from Flynn’s place just two hours ago along with his phone.’ He paused. ‘That’s how I figured out about the star thing. He’d drawn your name and this address with all these stars around it, the numpty.’
He studied my face. Desperate thoughts raced through my head. If only I could get away, back to the house, raise an alarm somehow. If only someone, Leo, would come to look for me. If only I hadn’t said I wanted to be on my own.
‘What are you going to do?’ I stammered.
Cody moved closer until he was right in front of me, then he narrowed his cold grey eyes. ‘I don’t know what Flynn sees in you,’ he murmured.
I shivered at the sneering menace in his voice.
‘I love him,’ I said. ‘And he loves me.’
Cody shook his head. ‘Love is for idiots.’ He stroked the side of the gun up my face, pressing the metal against my temple. I froze with fear. This was it. He was going to kill me.
‘Stop!’ The garage door slammed open.
Keeping the gun against my head, Cody spun around.
Flynn stood in the doorway.
Our eyes met for a second. His shone gold in the light from above the door, terrified yet determined. I had a sudden flashback to the moment he came up to me after the audition when we met – how his presence filled the room like thunder in a dark sky and how his smile was like sunlight breaking through the clouds. A new strength filled me.
Flynn held up his hands. ‘I called the police,’ he said, his eyes on Cody. ‘They’ll be here any second. Let her go, Cody. You have to let her go.’
Cody said nothing, just pulled me back, further into the shadows at the very end of the garage. Flynn flicked on the overhead light, then followed us.
‘Get back!’ Cody warned.
‘No.’ Flynn walked towards us. ‘You’re a coward taking this out on River. She hasn’t done anything wrong.’
‘She ratted me out. Now Bentham won’t have anything to do with me.’
‘So find someone new to work for.’ Flynn stopped a metre in front of us, his eyes on the gun at my throat. ‘River saw you kill someone in that car park. You can’t expect her to keep quiet about it. She doesn’t work like that.’
‘You kept quiet.’
Flynn’s eyes flickered over my face. He was checking that I was okay. I gave him a brief, reassuring nod.
‘I kept quiet to keep River safe,’ Flynn said in a low voice. He turned to me. ‘That’s the real reason why I left that night, Riv. I meant what I said about you being better off alone but there was more to it than that.’
I stared at his desperate face. ‘What d’you mean?’
‘Bentham came to our B & B,’ Flynn went on. ‘He’d tracked us through my phone. He did a deal with me. If I agreed to say nothing about what I knew about him to the police, if I went back to work for him, then he would let you alone.’
I gasped. ‘I thought it was Leo you spoke to.’
Flynn frowned. ‘I did speak to Leo, but not then.’
I bit my lip. So Leo had been telling the truth – and Flynn had lied to protect me.
‘So what if Bentham did a deal with you,’ Cody snarled. ‘He left me hanging out to dry thanks to her evidence. That was your fault.’
‘Come on, Cody,’ Flynn pleaded. ‘Bentham just got the police to drop all the charges against you.’
‘So? That wasn’t for me, that was for him, because he knew I could dump him in it.’
‘So what? You’re free aren’t you?’ Flynn took a small step towards us. ‘But you won’t be free for long if you hurt River.’
He turned to me. ‘I’ve been checking in on you, making sure you were okay. I heard James was planning to come here and I followed you all down.’ He looked at me – his eyes as intense as I’d ever seen him. ‘I won’t let Cody hurt you, I swear it.’
There was a long pause. My heart hammered in my chest. Then Cody shook his head. ‘She’s a bitch,’ he said. ‘She dies.’
‘No,’ Flynn insisted.
He took another step towards us. Cody cocked his gun. Flynn stopped.
I held my breath. Outside, a car engine sounded in the distance, its wheels turning slowly, scrunching over the gravel drive.
‘People are here,’ I said.
‘It’s the police,’ Flynn insisted.
Cody pressed his gun against my neck. ‘I’ve got nothing to lose then,’ he said.
‘No,’ I begged. ‘Please. They know the man at the service station was an accident but if you hurt me now it won’t be.’
‘You think the truth makes any difference?’ Cody sneered. ‘Say goodbye to—’
‘No.’ In a single lunge Flynn reached us. One fist punched at Cody’s belly, the other gripped my arm, tugging me away.
A second later I was free. Cody staggered back, still holding the gun.
I turned, took a step to the door.
‘Stop!’
I froze. Turned back. Cody’s arm was outstretched. His gun waved dangerously in his hand. Flynn pulled me behind him.
‘That’s enough, Cody,’ he demanded.
‘Then I’ll kill you too,’ Cody muttered.
‘No.’ I couldn’t let Flynn put himself in danger like that. My whole body shaking, I stepped sideways, so Flynn and I were now standing next to each other, opposite Cody.
Outside the sound of the car engine had stopped. The whole outside world faded to silence. A thin smile curled around Cody’s lips. He steadied his arm and took aim. The gun shook as he pointed it at me.
I stared at Cody’s finger on the trigger, my whole life tumbling over inside my head. He was going to shoot. This was it.
A second later, a dark blur flashed in front of me as the shot rang out. Flynn stood suspended for a second between me and Cody, then, like a shadow, he crumpled and fell to the ground. Cody and I stared at each other.
For a split second I thought Cody was going to shoot me too. Then foo
tsteps sounded on the gravel outside, his face filled with horror and he rushed out of the garage.
I looked down, facing at last what I knew must have happened.
28
Flynn lay on the ground, his eyes shut, blood seeping from his chest.
I dropped to my knees, barely aware of the concrete floor slamming into them, cold and hard. I stared down at Flynn. His eyes flickered open.
‘Riv?’ he whispered.
‘I’m here.’ My breath caught in my throat.
Outside, voices were shouting.
A male voice, strong and steady, yelled that he was from the police. Cody shrieked that he had a gun. The first male voice told him to put the gun down.
Barely registering all this, I reached for Flynn’s hand.
‘It hurts,’ he said.
‘I know . . .’ I looked at his chest. The red was dark, spreading across his shirt. I peeled off my cardigan and pressed it against the wound. ‘Wait, I’ll get help.’ I started to get up, but Flynn held on to my hand.
‘Don’t go, Riv.’ He looked me straight in the eye. ‘There isn’t time.’
‘The police are outside. They can—’
‘There isn’t time.’ Flynn moaned softly. ‘I can feel there isn’t. Please, Riv. I need you to listen.’
I sat forward, my heart in my mouth. I gripped his hand more tightly. ‘What? Tell me.’
‘Tell Siobhan and Caitlin I love them,’ he whispered. ‘Tell my mum . . .’ He stopped, tears filling his eyes. ‘Tell her I’m sorry and I love her too. So much.’
A terrible fear swelled inside me. ‘You can . . . you can tell them your—’
‘No.’ Flynn said. ‘I can feel it . . . there’s not enough time . . . please.’
I nodded. Outside on the gravel Cody was still shouting, threatening to shoot someone. I heard Emmi and Grace shrieking with terror. Someone – a man – was yelling at everyone to get back.
I bent closer, my hair brushing over Flynn’s face. ‘It will be fine,’ I murmured, not knowing what I was saying. ‘It will all be okay.’