Adrenaline

  Jared: You didn’t teach him about sex, did you?

  Madoc: I’m not his parent, and it’s not like I gave him condoms. Relax. I just told him it’s normal, and every guy does it.

  Jax: ...

  Jared: ...

  Madoc: You guys masturbate, right?

  Jared: *swallows, walks away

  Jax: *coughs, walks away

  Madoc: Aw, come on! You bunch of babies. We can talk about this!

  ***

  Fallon: Madoc, get off me.

  Madoc: Shh...just let it happen.

  Fallon: I’m sleeping.

  Madoc: I’ll only be a minute. I promise.

  Fallon: *laughing

  Madoc: You know, my birthday is coming up soon.

  Fallon: Duh, we’re hosting a party. Like I could forget.

  Madoc: I’d really love to go where no man has gone before.

  Fallon: My ass isn’t on your flight plan, James T. Kirk. Hands off.

  Madoc: Don’t you wanna make me happy for my birthday?

  Fallon: Like you did when I asked for a new drafting table for MY birthday and, instead, you installed a stripper pole in the theater room?

  Madoc: :D

  Fallon: Or last Christmas when I wanted Green Day tickets and you made me play Marco Polo with you in a pitch black house at night to find them?! I nearly broke my nose walking into an upstairs door!

  Madoc: :D

  Fallon: Or how about last Valentine’s Day, I wanted a kinky little getaway to a bed & breakfast, but you talked me into some schoolgirl outfit and broke us into your old high school at night to have sex in the locker room?!

  Madoc: :D

  Fallon: This year, I think we’ll try something I want for your birthday. How do you feel about...strap-ons?

  Madoc: :O

  ***

  Madoc: You know you’re my best friends, right? I will always be there for you guys. I mean it. We’ll be together forever.

  Jared: *rolls eyes

  Madoc: I’m not just saying that because I’m drunk. I really do love you guys. Like REALLY love you.

  Jax: *snort

  Madoc: And the fact that our parents are having sex is so awesome. I mean it wasn’t really awesome when I found out, but I’m totally cool with it now.

  Jared: *arches brow

  Jax: *facepalm

  Madoc: And your mom’s hot! And she must be pretty good in bed if my dad kept her around all those years.

  Jared: >:(

  Jax: Oh, shit....

  ***

  Jared: Shit.

  Madoc: What’s wrong?

  Jared: Tate just texted me. Apparently, Fallon convinced her that she needs a motorcycle. Awesome.

  Madoc: What’s wrong with that? Have you seen Fallon on a motorcycle? It’s pretty hot.

  Jared: Tate rides with me on mine. That’s it.

  Jax: *snort* Apparently your woman needs more to ride than what you give her to ride.

  Jared: >:(

  And hopefully Jax survives that comment.

  Character Q&A

  ***JARED, MADOC, and JAX Interview!

  You asked! They answered!!

  1. Jared, if Tate and Fallon weren’t in the picture, would you and Madoc have ended up together?

  Jared: Are you high?

  2. Jared, we learned why Madoc has your loyalty...Why are you loyal to him? Why did you befriend him in the first place?

  Jared: After I pushed Tate away, Madoc was a good distraction. He was a hellraiser and lots of fun. We teamed up and both weren’t interested in sharing too much about ourselves. It was a good arrangement. Madoc was like the one place in my life where there weren’t any complications. Just easy fun. Now, I’m loyal to him, because he’s with me through thick and thin. We can rely on each other.

  3. Jared, have you and Tate discussed a future with little Tates and Jareds running around?

  Jared: We’ve talked about college plans, but no—we haven’t gone as far as marriage and kids. Tate and I just want to enjoy being happy without changing anything right now. It’s good the way it is. We just want to be calm.

  4. Jared, are we ever going to find out if there will be a little brown haired girl with storm-blue eyes riding on your shoulders and how did you know that Tate was your IT girl?

  Jared: Yes, Penelope has plans to show you more after Falling Away. And I knew Tate was my IT girl the moment I pushed her away at fourteen. I never obsessed over anyone else from then on. She was always in my thoughts and tearing up my heart.

  5. Jax, will you be reaching out to your birth mother’s side of the family and and why/how will K.C. be your IT girl?

  Jax: I don’t know about my mother. I don’t feel like I need much closure as far as she’s concerned. Now, my father, on the other hand…

  And K.C.’s not my IT girl. She’s a mouthy brat, and I’d like to shut her up. And I’m having lots of fun thinking of ways to do that.

  6. Jared, when do you plan on asking Tate to marry you?

  Jared: When I damn well feel like it. And Tate will damn well know before you do.

  7. Jared: you briefly mentioned that your mom managed to provide a comfortable enough life style for you but you couldn’t understand how since she didn’t make much money...did you ever figure that out? And what exactly does she do?

  Jared: Yes. I found out. And so will you.

  8. Jared, what would you and Tate do if, for whatever reason, your mom and Tate’s dad started dating?

  Jared: Great. Then Tate and I can have my house, and my mom can move into the Brandts’.

  9. Jared, how do u really feel about Tate’s study date with Stevie?

  Jared: Stevie’s a good guy. As long as she comes home to me…

  10. For Jax, did you ever have hard feelings toward Jared for leaving you behind?

  Jax: I love my brother, and I don’t blame him for getting out. But I also realized how very different we are.

  11. Jared did you actually watch Tate drive away to Paris? And did you wonder what guys’ she was doing?

  Jared: Yeah, I watched her leave. I hated that that was the last time I was going to see her for a long time. Tate was my home, regardless of how I felt about her. I looked for her every day, and I thought about her every day. Watching her leave made me feel sick. And yes, I wondered who she was dating. When her dad talked to her on the phone when I was at the house, I’d leave, because I knew I’d obsess over it if I overheard things. I didn’t want to know who she kissed or who might be making her smile. I didn’t want to think about her forgetting me.

  12. Jared, what’s your favorite position? Do you cuddle afterwards or are you a hug and roll kinda guy?

  Jared: Um, well… probably doggy style, although I do love looking into her eyes. Maybe up against the wall, too, as long as I have control.

  13. Jax and Jared where would you want to live and why:

  Jared: any place with lots of room to drive.

  Jax: Here. Shelburne Falls.

  14. For Jared, is he going to or has he raced Tate yet?

  Jared: Yes. We bet on it. You’ll find out all about it.

  15. Jax why didn’t you leave with Jared when you had the chance?

  Jax: When you live a certain way for so long, it becomes your normal. You don’t feel like you have choices.

  16. Jared, when will you have a child with Tate and what would you do if she/he would behave more like their mother and less like their father?

  Jared: We’ll have kids if and when we’re ready. Tate and I are in no rush to change things. And I think Tate and I are a lot alike. That kid’s going to have a temper either way.

  17. Jax, what was your first impression of K.C??

  Jax: That she had a stick up her ass the size of a baseball bat. But I knew there was a real person underneath the façade, and I became more interested in seeing everything she tried to hide.

  18. Jared, in the past when you used to bully Tate, was there ever a time you ogled her as much as you did whe
n she came back from France?

  Jared: I always ogled Tate. Always.

  19. Madoc and Jared, either one or both of you could answer, have you ever thought about or have been in a three-way? If yes, who with. If no, would you?

  Madoc: If it had been with two girls instead of a guy and girl, I would’ve gone for it.

  Jared: If you read Until You, you know the answer to that.

  20. Jax, did you feel abandoned when Jared left? How did you get over that feeling?

  Jax: No, I didn’t feel abandoned. I had been alone before, and when he left, it was what I expected.

  21. Madoc or Jared, who lost their virginity first?

  Both: Jax

  Jared: Then me.

  Madoc: Yeah, I was last. And I wouldn’t change it.

  After Falling Away

  Deleted Scenes

  K.C. gets arrested…

  “This is getting more pathetic by the second,” my college roommate and best friend, Nik, taunted from my side. “What are you going to do, K.C.? Kill him with the power of your stare all night?”

  I raised my eyes, glowering at her, knowing damn well what she was trying to do.

  “What would you like me to do?” I asked, evening out my voice to hide the tears lodged in my throat. “Kick him in the balls? Get in a cat fight with the girl? I’m better than that, Nik.”

  She pursed her lips and arched an eyebrow, gazing across the black dance floor like she wanted to give up on me.

  I followed her gaze and shook my head. Yeah, right. I wasn’t better. I was just stupid. I should’ve listened to my mother. She said I should listen to her, and when I don’t, I always regret it.

  And here I was, regretting it again as I zoned in on my boyfriend—scratch that, ex-boyfriend—who had his hand up the skirt of a girl who wasn’t me.

  Again.

  I thought all of Liam’s hearts and flowers meant something in high school. I thought that all of the times he’d said he loved me earned him chances. Turns out, I thought a lot of bullshit.

  The truth was…the first time he cheated on me during my senior year of high school, I forgave him, because I couldn’t let my mother be right. I couldn’t let her see my relationship fail and admit that I’d been wrong.

  I’d swallowed some self-respect, but I wasn’t swallowing it again. Nik, however, wanted me to go above and beyond. She wanted his dick in a meat grinder.

  She sighed, lifting the cranberry and vodka to her lips. “Yeah, I guess that’s why he’s two-timing you,” she spat out in a sharp tone, gesturing with the bright red drink in her hand. “Because you’re better, right? That’s why he’s thinking about you right now as he touches her?” She put her hand on her chest, acting dramatic. “Why he’s showing how much he cares about you by telling you that he had a late final tonight when he really just wanted to take someone else out. I’m starting to wonder how many other things have escaped your notice, K.C.”

  The plastic cup in my hand cracked under the pressure, and the tequila shot Nik had ordered me dribbled over my fingers. The burning in my nose heated up even more with my quick breaths.

  I needed that shot. Dammit.

  Actually, I didn’t need it. I just wanted it. I’d already had another one and half a beer. While I was still only twenty, Nik was twenty-one and had been buying my drinks. That was her answer when times were tough. Load up a row of shot glasses and drink until you’re numb. Not me, though. I’d pace myself. A buzz without being bombed.

  She passed me her shot, and I let it sit on the table.

  Good friend. The best one I’d had in a while.

  Her real name was Nikita—as in La Femme Nikita. Her mom had apparently been obsessed with the movie, the American re-make, and the television show. Nik was everything that I wasn’t, and ever since we’d met nearly two years ago, I was in a constant state of envy.

  Her long blonde hair hung in small spiral curls, she wore no make-up, and the tattoos around her wrists were ornate and dark. I wanted the blue streaks in her hair, her chipped green nail polish, and her unfashionable black t-shirt that said, ‘My Imaginary Friend Thinks You’re Weird’.

  I wanted to be Nik.

  And she kind of wanted to get in my pants.

  She’d been flirting with me since I first walked into our dorm room at the beginning of freshman year, and while I knew my mother wouldn’t approve of me living with a lesbian, I soon found out I couldn’t live without Nik. She was a breath of fresh air and a reminder that life is all around me when I often tried to block it out.

  Of course, she’d love the opportunity to get me naked, but she was really good at just being the kind of friend who gave me a kick in the ass when I needed it.

  I’d fallen out of touch with my friends from back home, and other than Nik, I didn’t have a whole hell of a lot here in Arizona that made me happy. My grades were great, but I hated the Political Science major my mother encouraged, and Liam and I had been on the downward spiral for months.

  Okay, years.

  I held my hand and skimmed the scar on the inside of my wrist with my thumb, trying to remember what the hell made me angrier. Liam cheating on me or me staying long enough for him to do it twice.

  She leaned down, resting her elbows on the table and rubbing her eyes.

  “For Christ’s sake, do something,” she pleaded. “For the love of all of the pink shit in your closet, make a fucking move!”

  I inhaled and exhaled hard out of my nose, shaking my head.

  She was right. I knew she was right. She knew she was right. But what I couldn’t figure out as I stood there was how I could be angry and not sad. Pissed but not hurt. What the hell was wrong with me?

  I didn’t feel territorial about Liam or ready to go bawl in a stall in the ladies’ room. I wasn’t going to check my phone a zillion times tomorrow to look for apology voicemails or texts. I wasn’t sad.

  But I looked over at him and the redhead—it was a redhead last time, too—and I was damn-well angry. I squeezed my fists so hard I felt my nails dig into my palm. I’d been underestimated, forgotten, and disrespected. That pissed me off.

  I needed to be like Tate. My best friend back home. We used to be the same. Shy, timid, invisible…but one day she’d had enough, and she started to react instead of letting doubt weigh her down.

  I needed to be brave, Strong.

  Just do it, I urged myself. Move your fucking feet, K.C.

  But when I hesitated, Nik let out a bitter laugh. “You know?” Her soft, velvety voice could only mean trouble. “Her skirt is super sexy. I’d have my hand up it, too.”

  My eyes bugged out, and I slammed my palm down on the table, shooting daggers at my friend. That is it! “You want the girl?” I asked, taunting. “Well, wait here then. I’ll get rid of her boyfriend for you.”

  Ignoring the victorious, smug smile spreading across her cherub cheeks, I threw back her untouched shot on the table and swallowed down the burn at the back of my throat from the cheap tequila.

  As I cut my way across the dance floor—lit up with the reflection of the blue, green, and red strobe lights overhead—my sparkly, black flats barely touched the floor. I was high on adrenaline.

  Screw Liam, I kept chanting in my head. Screw Liam. I could do this.

  I quickly smoothed my hands over my black, layered miniskirt that was tight at the waist but flared out after my hips and then ran my index finger under my bottom lip, clearing up any smeared lip gloss.

  Poser pink lip gloss. That’s what Jaxon Trent called my make-up once. Poser.

  Another guy who thought I was gutless.

  I pushed his words out of my head, sucked in a deep breath, and tapped my fingers against my bare thighs as I charged up to Liam’s table.

  Not fifteen minutes later the whole world came to an end.

  ***

  “I can’t believe you just did that,” Nik whispered, wide-eyed, next to me as we sat in my parked Nissan Altima.

  “I’m going to thr
ow up,” I choked, gripping the steering wheel and chewing on my bottom lip. “What the hell was I thinking? That was a mistake.”

  “No, it wasn’t!” she burst out. “It was epic! It was awesome! You shined, K.C.”

  “And now the cops just pulled us over. That’s not awesome, Nik.”

  We were sitting next to the curb on a quiet residential street. Some homes were still lit up even though it was nearly eleven. No one, however, came outside to inspect the colorful flashing lights of the cop car behind us.

  Officer Baylor—I’d spotted his name tag—had taken my keys, my license, registration and proof of insurance, and was now back in his vehicle doing Lord-knows-what, and all I could think about was how the drop of sweat trailing down my neck was going to ruin my whole outfit. I had to look responsible. If I looked responsible in my cute, but classy attire and high, stylish ponytail, then I could get out of this. Appearance is everything, my mother would say.

  I knew it was a load of crap, but it was all the hope I had to hold onto right now.

  I blew out a long, slow breath and straightened my back. My fingers instinctively went to my mouth, but then I jerked them back down to the steering wheel again, remembering not to bite my nails.

  Nik cleared her throat, and I knew she’d been watching me. “Well, perhaps your lucky star is shining tonight,” she suggested.

  Lucky star. I rolled my eyes.

  I reached over to turn on the AC but stopped when I realized that the cop still had my keys. Damn Arizona summers.

  “There’s no such thing. And if there is, my luck has run out,” I grumbled, darting my head around to see if the cop had emerged from his car yet.

  “Don’t count your chickens until the fat lady sings,” she said matter-of-factly.

  “Before they hatch,” I corrected. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”