The Hawk: Part Eight

  Paul attended kindergarten on Wednesday, the elementary school a few blocks from the Aherns’ house. Sam, Renee, Paul, and Ann walked there together, Ann in Renee’s arms on the way, but Sam toted her once Paul was in his classroom. The teacher knew his history, and while he’d been registered as Paul Hamilton, before Christmas, Ahern would be his last name. Sam had requested the teacher to use Ahern when possible, as not to confuse the little boy. So far both children were adjusting well, and Sam didn’t want any minor details intruding.

  Sam and Renee seemed to be having a harder time, only because life with others in their household was a novelty. Their godchildren rarely slept over, and only for that one week had Lynne stayed in the Aherns’ guest room. Falling asleep listening to small inhalations across the hall, the couple woke at the slightest noise. Then slumber was hard to find, for their minds were full of newfound ideas, their hearts teeming with unexplored emotions. Parenthood wasn’t simply making sure kids ate their breakfast, brushed their teeth, and didn’t talk with their mouths full.

  For Sam, fatherhood carried a solemn responsibility, but he did wonder how much of that was related to these particular youngsters. They had lost so much, and even if they seemed comfortable in this new home, how would this define their characters? The Aherns hadn’t gone to church on Sunday, but Sam wanted to go that weekend, wishing to introduce that part of his and Renee’s lives to their…. They had kids, he inhaled, as he handed Ann to Renee, their house a few yards away.

  Ann wasn’t heavy, but Sam needed to retrieve his key. He watched Renee and that little girl go ahead of him. They reached the Chevy, then both stared at Sam. He smiled, but his heart ached, for there stood his wife and a carbon copy of Renee, except for the slight blue of Ann’s eyes. Sam had decided he didn’t want to see a picture of Beth and Roy, there wasn’t any need. If later on the kids wanted to inspect photographs, they could visit Aunt Vivian.

  “Hurry up,” Renee called. “We’re waiting on you.”

  “Yeah, we’re waiting,” Ann giggled.

  Sam smiled. “You ladies are too fast for me.” He reached them, stroking Renee’s face, then patting Ann’s cheek. “What’re we gonna do today?”

  “Well, I was thinking….” Renee raised her eyebrows. “Maybe we can visit Lynne and Jane.”

  Sam nodded as Ann looked at Renee. “What about Paul?”

  “He’ll be in school until right before lunchtime. If we go soon, we can have a nice chat, then come back and pick him up. Would you like to see where Jane lives?”

  Ann looked slightly panicked, then she placed her head on Renee’s shoulder. Sam watched as his wife smoothed Ann’s hair, crooning something to the little girl. Ann had enjoyed playing with Jane, although the differences between them were stark. Then Sam considered how well Helene and Jane got along, but Helene was used to kids of differing ages. Maybe Helene had appreciated being the elder around Jane, where in her house she was the baby of the family.

  Sam also knew the reason for Renee’s idea; at Lynne’s, there was no one for Paul to play with, and while both kids would need to acclimate to the Snyder property, for now Ann would spend more time there than her brother. Fran and Louie and their youngest children had visited on Sunday, Paul and Ann getting along well with Brad, Johnny, and Helene. But other than last Friday night, when Lynne and Jane had dropped off dinner and twin bedsheets, the Aherns and Snyders hadn’t seen each other. That house was huge compared with this one, maybe a little forbidding. Then Sam shook his head. It was one of the most welcoming places he knew, somewhat mysterious, but only on first glance. Of the two kids, Ann was the more timid, perhaps due to her age and that she was a girl. Paul probably wouldn’t find it scary, just a little lonely, no one his age with whom to play. “You know, that’s a good idea. I’ll give Lynne a call, see if she’s free.” He would also mention that no pie needed to be made. Sam wasn’t sure if Renee had told Lynne about that, but Sam didn’t want to take any chances.

  For as long as was feasible, Sam would smooth out all rough edges. Paul’s classmates were far too young to ask difficult questions, like where was he from, why was he only now joining them. Perhaps it was good that the kids were so little, maybe their integration into a new family would be fairly seamless. And Renee was right; the sooner Ann became familiar with the Snyders’ home, the better. For now, Lynne could easily get out and about, but she was nearly six months pregnant, and depending on when Eric returned, the Aherns would be shuttling between the households. Fran wanted to have them over for dinner sometime next week, and Joanie had mentioned hosting them after that. Sam knew Renee’s relatives were eager to meet the kids, but everyone accepted the children required an unhurried introduction to two very large clans. Sam had already decided that for Thanksgiving, regardless of where Eric was, a turkey would be roasted in the Aherns’ kitchen. Unless Sam was taking care of Eric, he permitted.

  Yet, Marek had called over the weekend, congratulating the Aherns and inferring he would be happy to help in whatever manner was needed. That pastor was included in the long list of those waiting to meet Paul and Ann, so many people Sam considered family.

  Then he stared at his wife, her smile so bright, her eyes at peace. Ann was also gazing at him, a little grin on her face. “So, are you gonna let us inside?” Renee said, but her tone was gentle.

  Sam nodded. “Yeah, I sure am.” He took the key from his pocket, then walked to the front door. He heard Renee on his heels, chatting to…. Their daughter, a phrase Sam was still trying to fit into his vocabulary. For all the changes having occurred, that was the strangest one, referring to Paul and Ann as his son and daughter. But as Sam unlocked the door, he turned to find his wife and child right behind him. Of course Ann was Renee’s little girl, those fiery tresses, pale eyes, and youthful impertinence so much like the woman Sam adored. Mother and daughter spoke about going to Lynne’s house, where Jane lived, and where another baby would join them. Mrs. Snyder was having another baby, Renee explained, piquing Ann’s interest. Sam stepped into the living room as his daughter inquired whether it would be a girl or boy. As Renee said they would wait to see, Sam found himself hoping for another daughter for Lynne and Eric. He didn’t ponder that as Ann made it clear she hoped for a girl.

  Forty minutes later Sam and Renee sat in Lynne’s living room while Ann and Jane played nearby. Lynne didn’t sit for long due to a back ache. She wondered if this baby was a boy, for it seemed bigger, or maybe caring for a toddler increased Lynne’s fatigue. She was pleased, however, for how well Jane and Ann were getting along. The girls were building a castle with blocks, then to Lynne’s amusement, Sam joined them on the floor. Lynne took his spot on the sofa, then immediately Renee grasped Lynne’s hand. They exchanged happy gazes, tears in the corners of Renee’s eyes, as Sam grew animated, making Jane and Ann giggle.

  “Who’s the bigger kid?” Renee whispered, motioning to those on the floor.

  Lynne nodded, wishing Eric was there. But she quickly put that aside, reveling in this new side to Sam’s character. He had played blocks with Jane before, but his mood now was more engaged, and while that could be because Ann was older, Lynne knew the truth. Ann was Sam’s daughter, and if this was how attached he’d allowed himself at this early stage, how close would this girl, and her brother, become as time passed? Lynne had watched it happen since Jane’s birth, but complicating factors had intruded. However, no shield remained over Sam’s heart, for his laughter was rich, his speech enthused. Jane picked up on that joy, laughing more than Lynne had heard in a good while. Not that Jane was unhappy, but not since Laurie’s visit had she been so entertained.

  That was the difference with a man around, Lynne accepted. She caressed her baby, then took a deep breath. Mother and daughter did the same things, little to break up the monotony. But a new member was being added to their circle, two actually, although Ann would figure more prominently in Jane’s life. Lynne knew a rising joy, yet she couldn’t escape a bittersweet sensation. Unlike for the Aherns
, it wasn’t related to the loss of the Hamiltons. Lynne saw all that Eric was missing, and there was no way to give these days back to him.

  In the past, Lynne had never rued that aspect of Eric’s absences. Yet, this was the first time since Jane’s birth that Eric had left, and that made all the difference, and not merely for the one away. Jane had lit with Laurie’s company, and she did the same with Sam. She was also this way around Marek, but perhaps that was to be expected, for she had grown up with her father’s constant presence. If Eric had a regular job, maybe this wouldn’t be so pronounced, yet Lynne didn’t miss how animated was her daughter, which drew from Ann a similar level of excitement. The girls had started chasing each other around the living room, and Sam was on his feet too. Lynne didn’t fret that they would knock something over; the house was fully baby proofed. As the girls hollered, Lynne relished the noise, not that Jane and Eric had stirred such a commotion, but the level of sound had decreased significantly since his departure. Lynne still found herself falling into lapses of silence, although now she turned on the television in the evenings. Jane didn’t seem overly interested in it, for which Lynne was grateful, but the white noise soothed.

  “I’m taking these two outside before they knock something over.” Sam spoke definitively, yet his tone was light. It was the sound of a father, Lynne recognized, a voice absent from this home since summer. Even Laurie had projected that tone during his visit, Marek too providing a paternal tenor that Lynne simply couldn’t muster. She sighed, then stood, her back again sore. She pressed against it, then felt hands on her shoulders. “You okay?” Renee asked.

  She eased knots Lynne hadn’t realized were there, then Lynne smiled. “You’re just what the doctor ordered. My goodness but I’m getting old.”

  “You’re nearly six months pregnant. That would make anyone tense.” Renee placed her hands along the small of Lynne’s back. “How’re you feeling?”

  Lynne nearly said lonely. “Tired. Haven’t slept well the last couple nights. I think Junior had a growth spurt.”

  Renee chuckled. “Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you look a lot bigger, and I just saw you on Friday.”

  “I hope this baby doesn’t come early.” Then Lynne bit her lip, not wishing to cry. “It’s so good to have you all here today.” Lynne turned to face Renee. She wanted to tell her many things, how precious was this blessing, even if it had seemed somewhat precarious. “Ann’s gorgeous and she, well, she’s so attached to you and Sam already.”

  “Yeah, it’s a little strange, but….” Renee sighed in contentment. “I never thought it would be like this, I mean, it’s, well….”

  “Not as hard as you’d assumed.” Lynne nodded, for she’d felt the same when Jane was born. Motherhood for both women had always seemed a faint dream, yet while it had come their ways in different manners, for each it was as if the right moment only had to arrive. Then Lynne looked at the floor. She couldn’t wait to hold her next child, but she didn’t want to deliver without Eric. That feeling had emerged over the last few days, then Lynne grimaced. She had truly realized it once Laurie left. Raising Jane on her own, with another on the way, wasn’t how Lynne had imagined parenthood, but with Eric as her spouse, what else was she to expect?

  Lynne kept that thought to herself, instead smiling at Renee. “When I was in labor, I felt like I was on a train, the Mommy Train,” Lynne chuckled. “And I so wanted you to come with me, I wanted that nearly as much as I wanted my baby.” Lynne laughed, but tears sprang from her eyes. “I told Eric that, and he said he felt like you’d be on that train one of these days.” Now Lynne wept freely. “And he was right. Oh Renee, I am so happy for you and Sam, and for the kids too. Paul looks so much like Sam, it’s crazy. And Ann looks just like you.”

  Those likenesses had been startling to Lynne last Friday, but she hadn’t commented upon it, nor had she planned to do so that day. Yet, how to dismiss the resemblances? It would be like saying Jane didn’t have Sam’s eyes, but now another child shared those vivid kingfisher irises, and Ann’s hair was exactly the shade of her mother’s. To Lynne, that word meant one woman, who now cried openly. Lynne hugged Renee, their tears turning to laughter. They wiped their faces, then walked to the French doors, finding their daughters seated on Sam’s lap near the patio table. Sam wore a somber face and the women rushed outside. “What is it?” Renee blurted.

  Lynne moved more slowly, but she was equally curious. Jane looked unbothered, but Ann seemed upset. Then Ann reached out for Renee, who collected her, patting her back. Sam appeared rattled, yet, he remained quiet.

  Jane remained unaware of any problem, chatting about pie. Lynne had been told that Beth had also been a baker, and no mention of pie had emerged. Lynne took Jane from Sam’s grasp, then felt the baby wriggling under the pressure. “Oh you,” Lynne said, looking at her large belly. “Okay, you win.” Putting Jane down, Lynne stretched out her back. Then she found Ann’s gaze directed her way.

  “The baby in my tummy doesn’t like it when I hold Jane.” Lynne kept her voice light, but it was still gravelly from her previous tears. “I hope this baby gets along with Jane as well as you do.”

  “Where’s Jane’s daddy? Is he dead?” Ann spoke softly, but kept her eyes on Lynne.

  Lynne fought another barrage of tears as from within the baby kicked hard. “No, he’s with a friend of ours who isn’t feeling well. He’ll be back soon.” Lynne sat next to Sam, and he gripped her hand.

  “Jane’s daddy is Eric,” Renee added. “And just like Lynne said, he’ll be home really soon.”

  “Are you sure?” Ann said slowly.

  “Yup.” Renee kissed Ann’s cheek. “How about we go inside and have a cookie.”

  “Pie,” Jane said, standing near Renee. “Pie!”

  Lynne glanced at her daughter, then at Ann, who stared at Jane. Ann seemed skeptical, then Lynne broke into a brief giggle; Ann looked so much like Renee, uncertainty mixed with hope. Then Ann gazed at Lynne. “Do you have pie?” Ann asked.

  “I do,” Lynne said. “Would you like some?”

  Ann raised her eyebrows. “What kind of pie?”

  “Sweet potato.”

  Ann’s eyes grew wide. “What’s that?”

  “It’s the best pie in the world if you ask a certain Pole.” Sam chuckled, then stood, picking up Jane. He faced the little girls, and Jane clapped, repeating pie.

  “Well, maybe I can try it.” Ann looked toward the house, then she pointed in that direction. “Mama, can I have some pie?”

  “Sure, let’s go have a piece.” Renee giggled, heading to the house. Sam and Jane were right behind them, but Lynne lingered in her seat as Ann’s curious tone rolled through Lynne’s mind. Yet, it wasn’t the pie to make Lynne pause, but how that little girl said Mama without any hesitation. Lynne patted her belly, then slowly got up from her chair. She found Sam coming back outside, his face showing concern.

  “Everything okay?” Lynne asked, as he reached her.

  “Yeah, just wanted to make sure you’re all right.”

  Lynne nodded, wiping a few tears from her face. “Everything’s fine Sam, it really is.”

  “Well, it’s certainly on its way. And once he’s home, oh Lynne, oh honey….”

  Sam embraced her, for now Lynne was a sodden mess. Yet, not all of her outburst stemmed from sorrow. She explained that, still weepy, as they reached the house. Lynne didn’t join those in the kitchen. She walked upstairs, not wanting to disturb Ann’s first encounter with pie in this house. There would be further moments for Lynne to enjoy, and Sam was right. Eric would return; Lynne just had to keep the faith.

  Chapter 147