The Hawk: Part Eight
Winter weather arrived on Laurie’s heels, keeping the Snyder-Abrams clan inside. Roads were icy as sleet fell, but Sam braved the streets while Laurie kept the fireplace aglow. Renee was glad that Ann didn’t go into details with Paul about those visits, for the little boy might have felt slighted. Yet Renee coveted the togetherness, even if two were missing.
Mostly Renee enjoyed sharing in the role of motherhood. Lynne seemed bigger every time Renee saw her, and Jane was more animated, which Renee presumed was due to another adult’s presence. Yet Jane didn’t treat Laurie any differently than how she did Sam, and Renee felt even closer to her godchild. Ann was slowly warming to Laurie, but she had asked if he was Lynne’s husband. Quickly Laurie told an artful lie, that he was Lynne’s brother, and was visiting from New York City. Ann didn’t seem intrigued by either detail, but she did start calling him Uncle Laurie. Lynne was still referred to as Jane’s mama, but Ann was interested when the new baby would arrive. Two months remained, Sam told the little girl, not that Ann understood how long that was. But as Sam responded, Renee shivered, wondering not only if Eric would be home, but where might Laurie be?
By the end of Laurie’s first week, there was no clear answer to either question. Seth was still in Florida and Stanford hadn’t again contacted the Snyder household, although he had been in touch with the Aherns, strictly about art. The landscape had been packed up, and a check had arrived at their bank, a sum that Renee considered with a slightly ominous sense attached. Eventually Renee would return to work, once Ann was in school full time, but even then Renee wouldn’t need to be away from home for more than half days. The landscape had fetched more than she or Sam had dreamed, and a few decisions had already been made. They would pay off their house, and of course get another car. Sam wanted a station wagon and while Renee didn’t care, she didn’t want her family knowing what they had earned from the painting’s sale. Perhaps Lynne had an idea, and of course Laurie was aware. Other than them, no one else needed to know.
Renee spoke to her mother daily now, for Marie loved updates about her newest grandchildren. Marie said little about the son dwelling under her roof, but Renee had spoken to Brenda during the week; her priest had asked her to give Ritchie another chance. Brenda wasn’t sure what to do, but Renee had been blunt; unless Ritchie got sober, nothing in the couple’s marriage would be different than before. Renee wasn’t sure what would happen, although she told Sam that Ritchie would never stop drinking. He would end up dead like their grandparents, all because of booze.
Marie and Eugene had braved the bad weather to visit the Aherns; while Renee and her mother chatted in the kitchen, Gene taught Paul and Ann how to play Go Fish, Sam helping Ann hold the cards in her small hands. Paul caught on quickly, but Ann grew bored. She joined the ladies, sitting on Renee’s lap while Marie tried to avoid speaking about Ritchie and Brenda. Marie knew how unwell Ritchie was, but the notion of divorce ran so counter to the family’s faith. After the Nolans left, Renee emptied out the spare ashtray, brought out for her father’s visit. Then she wondered how her mother would react if Brenda did go through with it. Marie would take it harder than Ritchie would.
Over the weekend, the Aherns went car shopping, leaning toward another Bel Air, but this model was a nine-passenger station wagon. Sam asked Laurie if he could drive home the old car; Renee had offered, but Sam felt this was a man’s task. On Monday, after dropping off Renee and Ann at the Snyders’, Sam and Laurie went to the dealership. The manager had offered to take the old car as a trade-in, but Sam wasn’t ready to part with it. He didn’t know what he would do with the Bel Air coupe, but he didn’t feel he could sell it until Eric had finished that painting. Lynne had told Sam he could keep one of the cars with her, freeing up space in the Aherns’ driveway. Leading Laurie back to the Snyders’, Sam wasn’t sure which car to sell, although for now he would leave the old car at Lynne’s. Sam parked the station wagon in front of the gate and Laurie pulled up in the old car behind him. The weather had turned mild again and both men stood for a moment, admiring the vehicles.
“You know I rarely drive, but that was fun.” Laurie smiled, motioning to the old car. “I’ll keep the battery fresh until you decide what to do.”
Sam smiled. “I suppose there’s no need, I mean….” He had enjoyed Laurie’s company while the paperwork had been completed. Now Sam wanted to show off another…. Another new car seemed exorbitant, but this time Sam hadn’t erred on the side of caution. Next summer, he could drive both the Aherns and Snyders wherever the families decided to go, and if Laurie was still around, room would remain for him too. Sam had prayed it wouldn’t come to that, but having once felt the way Stanford did now, Sam wasn’t sure how the New Yorkers’ situation would be rectified. It might take Stanford witnessing a most improbable event, yet Sam so hoped once Eric was home, that would be it.
“Shall we go announce our arrival?”
Laurie’s tone was jovial, but Sam assumed much swirled behind Laurie’s smile. “Sure. Then Renee and I should be on our way, gotta get Paul in another hour.”
That little boy hadn’t been told about this outing and while heading to the house, Sam wondered what he might think of the station wagon. The Snyder and Ahern ladies were in the kitchen, and it took a moment for Lynne and Renee to find the girls’ jackets. Sam recalled the last time he had shown off a new car, on Jane’s first birthday. This occasion felt remarkably different, but many factors could be called into account. As the group trekked to the gate, Lynne and Renee were several steps behind, Ann and Jane leading the procession. Sam walked beside Laurie, then they waited for the mothers to join them.
As they stepped through the gate, Sam noted how Lynne’s effusive tone blended with Renee’s, even if Renee had just seen this automobile on the dealer’s lot. Laurie was chatty, picking up Jane, pointing out where she could sit beside Ann when the families took trips together. Ann approached Sam and he collected her, following Laurie and Jane. Sam let Laurie do the talking, hearing a newfound tone in that man’s voice. It wasn’t like Laurie was taking over for Eric, but discovering a role previously unconsidered.
Sam wondered if Renee and Lynne heard the same, but they were discussing the car. Renee thought it looked bigger than on the lot, and she asked Lynne if it seemed too large. Lynne noted that no, it was just right, a smile in her voice. Sam slowed his steps, for Lynne’s were weary, then Laurie caught up to them as if they were doing laps around the car. Jane clapped, then fought to be put down. Laurie acquiesced, then Ann did the same. The girls chased each other around the length of both vehicles, loudly laughing.
As the mothers leaned against the back of the station wagon, Sam continued to circle, mostly keeping watch along the road. Laurie did the same, then they caught each other’s gaze, smiling broadly. Sam felt he was looking in a mirror, although it wasn’t about physical similarities. Laurie paid attention to the girls’ location as though he was more than a relative, yet without the rightful claim as a…. Sam shivered, for in the last few weeks he had changed practically overnight from someone outside peering in to a man firmly settled by paternal roots. Would Laurie leave Stanford, not for Lynne, Sam knew, but for someone who could give him this sort of life? That felt as wrong to Sam as Laurie being apart from Stanford, which instantly made Sam flinch, but not for the same reason he had previously been uncomfortable around those men. Laurie looked lonely, even if he laughed, having caught Jane in his arms, and now Ann was in his grip. The girls giggled, then he let them go, and they took off again, Ann faster than Jane, but Lynne’s daughter wasn’t far behind. Laurie followed them, his long strides permitting him to catch them easily, then he lagged behind, hollering he was going to get them. Ann’s laughter made Sam’s heart soar, but a small worry was attached as Jane’s chuckles rang out; Eric and Stanford should be sharing in this merriment. Not that Stanford would be running after the children, but Eric would, or he’d be racing Laurie. Sam sighed, then walked to where Renee and Lynne still gabbed. Ann and Jane mad
e another pass, Laurie right behind them.
“Don’t know who’s the biggest kid,” Lynne smiled. “If nothing else, Jane will sleep well this afternoon.”
“Laurie might wanna catch forty winks too.” Renee gripped Sam’s hand. “We should be taking off, need to get Paul soon.”
“Yeah and I’m tired. Maybe all three of us will nap after lunch.” Lynne gazed at Sam. “What a good choice. Eric and I need to look into a new car.”
Sam nodded, but felt a chill. Lynne’s tone was cheerful, yet, how did she maintain such optimism? Then he smiled, feeling a little silly. Other than Frannie, Sam had never encountered such solid faith, and Lynne had only been going to church for a little over two years. Perhaps life with Eric had laid the foundation for this kind of strength. Then Sam winced and had to look away. Eric had said something along those lines the night he practically browbeat Sam into going for Renee. All Eric knew about forgiveness he had learned from his wife.
That woman now stood with her palms placed along her back, but her smile shone as she gazed at the trio still running around the cars. Laurie laughed as Ann yelled she was going to get him, Jane hollering nothing that Sam could understand, yet her joy was clear. As Laurie passed, Renee intercepted Ann, and while she protested briefly, soon she had placed her head against Renee’s shoulder. As Jane caught up, Laurie hoisted her into the air, then walked to where Lynne waited. Sam observed a family, albeit bound with transitory ties. Laurie didn’t embrace Lynne, nor did she move toward him. Jane wiggled in Laurie’s grasp, then she went to her mother’s arms. It was Renee to head to the gate first, followed by Lynne, then Laurie, who stood waiting for Sam to join them. Sam stepped gingerly, for the Aherns needed to be on their way.
Goodbyes were brief, then Sam, Renee, and Ann were in their new car, driving back to town. Reaching their street, Sam parked the wagon in the driveway while Renee helped Ann from the back seat. There was just enough time for Ann to use the bathroom, then the threesome headed for the school.
Ann and Renee chatted on the walk while Sam pondered what Paul might think of the car. Kindergarten was just being released as they approached and Paul ran toward them, making Sam’s heart race. The boy’s smile was a beacon and as they met up Sam impulsively grabbed Paul in his arms. Paul hugged Sam’s neck, then asked to be put down. Sam complied, but Paul didn’t go far, grasping Sam’s hand. The grip was strong as Renee and Ann reached them. “How was school?” Renee asked.
“Good. What’s for lunch?” Paul asked that every day, and usually the answer was the same, sandwiches of some kind. That day Renee giggled. “Maybe we’ll go out for lunch today.”
They hadn’t discussed that idea, but Sam nodded. Paul gave them each a sharp stare. “Why not sandwiches?” he asked.
“Paul, guess what Daddy brought home?” Ann’s tone held a secret, then she started to laugh.
“What?” Paul asked, looking at Sam.
“You’ll see in a few minutes.” Sam smiled, clutching Paul’s hand. “Let’s go find out.”
The foursome walked as quickly as Ann’s short legs allowed. Then Renee picked her up and their pace increased. As they reached their street, Ann pointed toward the Aherns’ house. “Look Paul, lookit what Daddy bought!”
As they approached the driveway, Paul’s grip increased. Then he dropped Sam’s hand. The boy gazed up at his father, shaking. “We’re not gonna ride in that are we?”
Sam knelt beside Paul. “Well yeah, I mean….” Sam shivered as the child’s eyes filled with tears. “Paul, what’s wrong?”
“They never came back. They said they were gonna come back but they never did. We waited and waited and….” Paul turned toward Sam, then wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck. Then hollow cries were thrust upon Sam’s shoulder.
Having set Ann down, Renee knelt beside them. “Oh Paul, it’s all right honey. Oh sweetheart!”
Sam stared at his wife, but Renee only sighed. She looked slightly ashamed, then she reached for Ann, who was starting to sniffle. “Kids, let’s go inside. We’ll have baloney sandwiches for lunch.”
Paul still wailed and Sam stood, then picked up the youngster, who continued shaking his head, crying hard. It took him several minutes to calm, but he hardly touched his lunch. Sam sat at the table with Ann while Renee took Paul to the sofa. Soon Sam heard footsteps, but only Renee appeared. “Paul’s gonna take a rest. He’ll finish lunch later.”
“Do I have to take a nap too?” Ann asked.
Renee sat beside her, then smoothed back her hair. “We’ll see.”
The meal was eaten mostly in silence, although Sam had many questions for his wife. Not that Renee might have answers, but they wouldn’t speak until Ann was asleep. It didn’t take long, for that morning’s activity had worn out the little girl. By one o’clock, Ann had fallen asleep, and as soon as Renee closed the children’s bedroom door, Sam motioned for her to follow him.
They went into the kitchen, sitting at the table. Sam had moved Paul’s plate to the counter, but the rest of the dishes remained. “What is it?” he said to Renee.
“They had a station wagon, a wood-paneled one.” Renee stacked the empty lunch plates. “I never thought about it, I mean, it was new, and I just never imagined either one would note the significance.”
Sam sighed. “I guess I can take it back to the dealership. If we tell them what happened….”
“But we need a big car.”
“We’ll look for a large sedan.” Sam grasped Renee’s hands. “Jeez, I feel terrible.”
“So do I, honey. So do I.” Renee looked around the room, then at Sam. “Do you think they’ll take it back?”
“We just bought the other car there, hopefully they’ll be happy to trade it for something else. I can’t imagine they’d wanna lose our business.”
Renee nodded. “Well, you know more about this than me.” Then she frowned. “Sam, why don’t you call Laurie, ask if he can bring the old car over. I don’t want Paul to see the station wagon again.”
“Yeah, that’s smart.” Sam stood, then headed for the phone. Lynne answered, then Sam spoke to Laurie. The conversation was brief, then Sam closed the call. “He said he’d be here in a few minutes.”
“Good, that’s good. My word.” Then Renee gasped. “Sam, what if this, what if….”
“What?”
Renee stood, then grabbed Sam’s hands, squeezing hard. “What if this sets him back, what if he decides….”
Sam had considered the same, but hadn’t wished to air such theories. “Let’s cross that bridge if we come to it. Hopefully once he sees it’s gone, that’ll be enough.”
“Yeah, hopefully.” Renee took a deep breath. “I guess there were bound to be bumps in the road. I just hope….”
She blinked away tears, then Sam wiped those that trickled down her cheeks. “It’s gonna be okay honey. Laurie’ll be here soon and I’ll go to the dealership tomorrow.”
“I just don’t want them to get hurt anymore. Oh Sam, the last thing I want is….”
Renee collapsed against her husband and Sam whispered that he loved her. He walked her to the sofa where they sat until Laurie quietly knocked on the door. Sam gave him the keys to the station wagon, then took those Laurie had from the old car. Sam walked Laurie out, but little was said. Laurie patted Sam’s shoulder and told him to call if they needed anything. Then Laurie got into the station wagon, starting the engine. Carefully he backed out of the driveway, then drove away. Sam looked at the keys in his hand, gripping them tightly. He sighed, then headed to the street, where the old car sat. He moved it to where the wagon had been, then got out, but didn’t go right back inside. Renee stood at the window, her arms crossed over her chest. Sam nodded, then slowly headed that way.
Chapter 153