A Shade of Kiev

  As I looked down into his tortured eyes, the truth came crashing down on me. I had let him strip me away, layer by layer, and now that I found myself standing before him almost naked, I wondered what kind of a person I had allowed to behold me.

  What if I’ve made a mistake even coming here?

  What if he doesn’t deserve to be saved?

  As Matteo barged past, brushing me aside to launch himself at Kiev once again, my knees buckled. I collapsed in a corner, barely paying attention to the hawk sitting a few feet away from me. Conflicting emotions erupted within me all at once. So many things about the situation didn’t make sense to me. But most of all, I didn’t understand why Kiev wasn’t fighting back. Why is he just lying there?

  Matteo stopped his renewed tirade of blows and gripped Kiev’s neck, pulling him into standing position. I watched as the two men looked into each other’s eyes.

  “I just need you to know”—the words escaped Kiev’s lips in a rasping whisper—“that I loved your sister.”

  “Bastard! Shut your mouth! Shut your lying m—”

  Matteo choked mid-sentence and, letting go of Kiev, fell to his knees. His hands balled into fists as he crashed them down against the floorboards. He continued beating the floor until his hands were a bloody mess. Tears streaming from his eyes, his entire body trembling and racked with sobs, he dropped his head to the floor and lost himself to grief.

  Kiev fell beside him, clutching his leg, his eyes still fixed on Matteo. “I can’t expect you to ever forgive me. Kill me now, or send me back to Aviary. But… I just need you to know that I loved your sister. I loved Natalie… until her last breath.”

  Then Kiev shed tears of his own. They dripped down his face slowly, then all at once, mixing with blood and dirt. Minutes passed by as the two men lay on the ground shaking, their hearts suffering as one.

  “N-no, Kiev,” Matteo managed finally, looking up at him, pain traced in his eyes.

  Kiev stared at him in bewilderment.

  “God knows I don’t want to believe it,” Matteo said. “I want to believe you’re a cold-blooded killer. I want to believe that you meant to kill Natalie and that you enjoyed every damn second of it. But no matter how hard I’ve tried to convince myself… I-I can’t see it in your eyes. I just can’t see it in those cursed eyes.”

  “What?” Kiev breathed, his voice choked up. “I killed your sister, for Christ’s sake.”

  “Don’t think a second goes by when I forget it,” Matteo said, wincing. “But of creatures who inhabit the darkness, there are two types. Those who revel in it, and those who fight to escape it.”

  Kiev continued to stare at Matteo, inhaling a sharp breath.

  “The Elders have cast their shadow over many lives,” Matteo said, his eyes darkening. “I should know. I was once a child of the same evil that inhabited you for centuries. I can’t ever forget what it felt like to hold absolute belief that I was incapable of disobeying my father.” Clenching his fists, he shivered. “It’s a hold that makes a person believe he is no longer capable of goodness, and so he simply stops attempting to fight the darkness. Until—by some mercy—a glimmer of hope sparks from a fire outside of him. A hope that springs alive, and eventually has the power to transform if he cares to guard it enough…”

  Matteo paused, his eyes glazing over as he drifted off somewhere else.

  “No,” he murmured after a few moments, his bloodshot eyes becoming focussed again. “I don’t think that damning you is my path to solace.”

  Overwhelmed and worn down by the clashing emotions firing from all three of our hearts, it was my turn to break down into tears, sobbing alongside the two men. I forgot myself as I partook in their grief with abandon.

  Without thinking, I walked over to Matteo, kissed his cheek, and cradled his head in my arms. Though tears still dripped from his eyes, he looked shocked by my display of affection. Indeed it was the first time I’d ever so much as touched him since I’d known him. Then, drawing out the dagger from my belt, I ripped a piece of fabric from the end of my nightdress. I dipped it into the fresh water barrel stored nearby, and wiped the blood away from Kiev’s injured face. At least now that Matteo had stopped cutting him, his shallower wounds were beginning to heal.

  The hawk sitting in the corner of the boat shuffled his wings. He eyed the two vampires with contempt.

  “What’s going on?” he asked, glaring at Matteo. “I’m tired of waiting.”

  He spread his wings and walked toward us, his eyes set on Kiev. I stood up and brandished my dagger, forcing him to take a step back.

  “I… I’ve changed my mind, Perseus,” Matteo said, gathering himself to his feet. “You’re no longer needed.”

  The hawk let out a furious shriek and flew at Matteo. I didn’t understand how he found the strength, but Kiev shot up and tore a gash through Perseus’ wing with his claws before the bird could reach Matteo. The hawk screamed with pain, then set his eyes again on Kiev, attempting to grip him within his talons.

  “We have to finish him!” Matteo panted. “If we let him escape, he’ll return to Aviary and inform all the others of your whereabouts. Then none of us will be safe.”

  The hawk shook himself free from both vampires. Then he turned his angry eyes on me.

  In one swift motion, I found myself being lifted into the air, sharp talons digging into my arms. I was too alarmed to even scream. The one thought that circled my mind as Perseus began his ascent was that if he planned to take me back to Aviary, perhaps it was for the best.

  Chapter 43: Kiev

  The sight of the hawk carrying away Mona set my body on fire. Adrenaline coursed through me as I yanked out Matteo’s dagger from my leg. With all the strength my wrecked body could muster, I leapt upward. Perseus shrieked as my claws dug into him for grip.

  Gripping the dagger, I sliced through the talon nearest me. The hawk’s shrieks grew so loud it felt like my ear drums were about to explode. Weakened, he released his hold on Mona. She fell down and hit the water with a splash. I trusted she’d make it to the boat where Matteo would assist her.

  Then I attempted to cut the remaining talon. As I reached across, the hawk’s sharp beak shot down and cut through my hand, making me lose hold of the dagger. As I clung to the irate hawk with one hand, my claws felt dangerously close to losing their grip.

  I can’t let him get away.

  I knew the consequences that his escape would bring about. I couldn’t bring that kind of misfortune upon Matteo’s island. Death would be less painful than bearing that guilt.

  I dug my free hand into the swaying body of the hawk and achieved a better grip. Slowly and steadily, attempting to avoid the hawk’s beak, which kept stabbing down, trying to main me, I worked my way round his body until I reached his back where I positioned myself between his two giant wings. He continued to writhe in the air. Though severely injured, Perseus was still a fiercely strong creature—especially now that he was angered. He was vengeful as a raging bull.

  I lifted myself up directly behind his neck. Grabbing hold of one of his wings, I poised myself to slice right through it. But he lunged down, making me lose my grip. I slid off his back, and were it not for my lightning-fast reflexes grabbing hold of his remaining talon at the last minute, he would have escaped.

  Again, I attempted to climb up, one hand after the other.

  “Don’t even think about it.” His beak pierced down, this time catching my arm and digging into my flesh. Groaning, I once again found myself hanging from one arm. I was keenly aware of our rapid ascent. The hawk climbed higher by the second, his wings working furiously. We were now so high I could barely see the sea through the clouds any more.

  If I didn’t end this battle soon and I let him reach land, even if I killed him, I would lose my own life. There were only so many feet a vampire could fall without being fatally wounded.

  And dawn was close. Too close. As soon as the sun rose, I would have lost the battle.

  I have to kill
him now, or die trying.

  Chapter 44: Mona

  Although no part of me doubted his prowess, my mind was alight with panic that Kiev still hadn’t returned. To make matters worse, I could no longer see either of them in the sky, and all sounds of their struggle had vanished.

  The sea chilled me to the bone. I knew these waters were dangerous just from the temperature. Deep waters in these parts were never safe. There were all sorts of sea predators. I ducked my head under the water and called for the dolphin, relieved when he came to me.

  “Mona! Get back in the boat,” Matteo called. “It’s not safe, even with the dolphin. You can wait for Kiev here with me.”

  I ignored Matteo and continued to zigzag in the waves, my head tilted upward as I scanned the skies. The clouds broke every so often to reveal the full moon, but otherwise it was a black night.

  “Kiev!” I found myself yelling up at the heavens.

  Matteo approached me in the boat and extended a hand down to me. Although I was now shivering, I shook my head. Leaving the water felt like one step toward defeat. Leaving the water felt like letting go.

  Matteo followed me in the boat as I moved forward. His strong arms grabbed me by my shoulders and he pulled me onto the boat. He sat me down on a bench in the corner and, retrieving a blanket from one of the cabinets, wrapped it around me, rubbing my shoulders as he did.

  “We’ll wait here until he returns,” Matteo whispered, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

  Normally I would have flinched at Matteo’s affection but right now, I found myself grasping for any comfort I could hold onto. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was earnest in his promise.

  “But what if he doesn’t?” I asked, my voice shaking.

  Matteo sat down next to me and breathed out deeply.

  “I believe he will return.”

  We sat in silence. The events of the last few hours seemed to be a blur as my mind was still trying to process them.

  “So it was you all along,” I croaked. “It was you who caused Kiev trouble back at The Tavern. You who set Giles on Kiev in the tunnels. All of your friendliness was an act…”

  Matteo nodded.

  “I suppose I’ve never told you that I was an actor—part of a theater—before I was turned,” he said, his eyes downcast. “It sure as hell wasn’t easy, but I played my part well.”

  “And the hawk? How did you—?” I asked.

  “Perseus…” Matteo muttered, rubbing his forehead. “An old acquaintance. He betrayed Aviary many years ago and became an outcast. But I knew he was desperate to return. Once I’d managed to track him down, it wasn’t difficult to convince him that bringing Kiev back there would be the best way to win back Aviary’s trust.”

  I realized now how rarely I had seen Matteo around the island recently. I had been too wrapped up with Adrian to notice it before.

  I stood up and looked out toward the ocean once again. The sky was still empty. I turned back to Matteo, my voice starting to feel more constricted as each second passed.

  “Are you really still considering provoking the vampires of The Black Bell, or was that just a guise?”

  “How could we not still dream about claiming one of their witches?” Matteo heaved a sigh. “I don’t think we’ll ever be able to forget about it. But I’m not going to force Kiev to take part in the mission if he doesn’t want to.”

  Silence fell between us and tears threatened to drip from Matteo’s eyes again. He brushed his hand against his face to catch them. I found my hand reaching for Matteo’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

  “Something has changed in you, Mona,” Matteo said softly. I withdrew my hand from his shoulder in a flash. “Ever since that vampire entered your life, you’ve been behaving differently.”

  I stood up and walked to the opposite end of the boat, clutching the blanket closer around my shoulders. I shivered as I looked out at the empty waters, which were beginning to reflect a deep orange glow emanating from the skyline. I continued standing there, away from Matteo. Away from the pressure to voice what I knew I couldn’t. I stood in the same spot until the tip of the orange sun peeked out from behind the horizon.

  I don’t know myself any more.

  I should be hoping that Kiev won’t return.

  But with the dawn came Kiev.

  Chapter 45: Mona

  I gasped on seeing him drop from the sky—followed by the dead body of the hawk—and swim toward us. Matteo reached out and hauled him onto the boat. I could see that he was bleeding badly, but I avoided looking at his face. Now that the sun’s rays were breaking through the clouds, the two vampires sat beneath the covering at the center of the boat. They exchanged words in low voices as we headed back toward the island.

  I remained standing at the front of the boat. I closed my eyes, hoping the wind would calm the flames burning me up inside.

  When we arrived back on the island’s beach, a strong hand gripped my arm and pulled me beneath the covering. I didn’t need to look up to know that it was Kiev. Eyeing us, Matteo sighed and picked a large parasol. Careful to shield himself from the sun, he left the boat. I looked after Matteo with desperate eyes.

  No, captain. Don’t go. Not now.

  I trembled as Kiev held me.

  “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

  I felt my lips quiver as I continued to avert my eyes.

  “For what?” I choked.

  “For not telling you about my past… about Natalie.”

  “You had no reason to tell me,” I said, trying to summon every bit of willpower I had left in me to not let him hear my voice break.

  He breathed out a frustrated sigh.

  “Look, I’m tired of playing games. And I’m damn tired of letting the past keep chains on me. I know you want nothing more to do with me now. And I’m glad. But I ask you to tell me one thing…just to put my curiosity to rest. Was it Mona or Irina I kissed?”

  His words gutted me like a blade in a fish.

  “Wh-what are you talking about?” I yanked my arm away from his grasp and turned my back on him. Closing my eyes tight in an attempt to lock in the tears, I swallowed, my throat dangerously dry, and said, “I’m sorry you ever had any confusion about that.”

  I paused, breathing out deeply before attempting to speak again.

  He walked up to me. His toned chest pressed against my back as he once again held my arm and turned me around to face him. This time, he reached for my chin and forced me to look up into his eyes.

  I gasped.

  Those eyes were my complete undoing.

  Gone was that frightening red, and in its place was a breathtaking emerald green.

  Bewildered, I couldn’t keep myself from spluttering, “Your… your eyes? Wha—?”

  He looked as confused by my words as I felt. Turning around, he gazed at his reflection in a glass windshield. He stood frozen for several minutes. When he turned back to face me, he looked in a world of his own. His eyes had glazed over and his voice was hoarse as he spoke.

  “Huh…”

  I didn’t understand how it could have happened, or what it meant. But each second I remained staring into those beautiful green eyes of his, I felt myself sliding further and further away from where I knew I needed to keep myself. I had been trying to detach myself from him, but now I couldn’t find the strength to stop looking into his eyes.

  “Well, I-I’m happy for you,” I said.

  I flinched beneath his steady gaze.

  “I’d just like a simple answer.”

  “Why?”

  He paused and I could see that he was choosing his next words carefully. It cut me to see how uncomfortable I was making this for him.

  “We—”

  “We?” I hissed. “There is no we. There never has been any—”

  My voice broke. My heart pounded and blood rushed furiously to my face. I began to sweat.

  And then I lost all control.

  “I have feelings for nobody!” I screame
d, my throat stinging. “Irina fell for Adrian. That’s all that ever happened!”

  I was horrified by the words as soon as they had escaped my lips. As soon as I realized how they sounded out loud. I fell to my knees, covering my face with my hands, every part of my body shaking.

  His body brushed against mine as he lowered himself down onto the floor next to me, leaning against the bench alongside me. I raised my eyes to his and as I did, more passion coursed through me than I knew how to handle. Attempting to stifle my emotions would have been like trying to extinguish a forest fire with dry wood.

  I had lost all sense of what was right and wrong. All I had left was my rapidly beating heart exploding in my chest. Beating to break free from its cage.

  As I reached both hands to his face, brushing my fingers against his skin, there was no way I could pretend that I was Irina.

  I was Mona.

  I knelt higher so that my face was level with his. He held my waist and stood up, pulling me back to my feet with him.

  “That’s all that ever happened,” he repeated, his voice husky.

  He brushed the tears away from my eyes with his thumbs, still staring at me.

  My shoulders sagged.

  There was no point denying it any longer.

  He’d seen the truth in me.

  The intensity of his gaze was now too much to bear. I closed my eyes and as soon as I did, my lips found his. His kiss was cautious, slow, at first. Exploring the contours of my lips, before requiring more. I grasped his hair, and pulled myself closer, closing the gap between us. Taking hold of my waist, he lifted me up against him so that he could reach all of me. His hands slid down beneath my thighs, his grip around them growing tighter with each second that passed.

  It was only once I forced my lips away from his that the inevitable pain I knew would come began tearing through my chest.

  I ran out of the shelter—something I cursed myself for not doing to begin with—and jumped into the water. I sprinted across the beach as fast as my weak legs could carry me toward the gate. Kiev caught up with me as soon as I’d stepped through the gate. He held a parasol in one hand, gripping my arm with the other.