Second Chances

  She nodded, taking a breath. She wanted nothing more than to hear his story.

  He went on. “When I was thirteen, my dad decided that he didn’t love my mum anymore and went to live with a lady he worked with. I was devastated and my mum hit rock bottom. I didn’t realise at the time, but she went through years of severe depression. In a way, it was like both my parents had left me.

  “Dad tried to visit me now and then, but I was so angry with him that I think he decided I was better off without him. I haven’t seen him in over five years. After quite a few years, Mum got back to normal, but I’d already gone off the rails. I was old enough that she couldn’t make me go to church anymore. I mucked up at school and hung out with the wrong crowd. Mum picked me up from the police station more than a few times. I feel bad about what I put her through, but I didn’t care at the time.

  “During my last year of high school, I met Erin. She had been through some rough stuff at home and was also pretty messed up. We hung out together whenever we could and she was the only person I could be myself with. She was my best friend and my first love.

  “One day, when Mum was at work, Erin came over and we started kissing on the couch. One thing led to another and you can probably guess the rest. It was the only time, but it changed things forever. After that, Erin started crying all the time and didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. After a couple of months she told me she was pregnant. I wouldn’t believe it at first. I’d kind of missed the birds and the bees talk growing up, with my mum and dad both being so absent. I didn’t realize that it could happen so easily.

  “Erin wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but I convinced her that we should raise the baby ourselves. Even though I knew we were both young, I was determined to be a better father than my dad. Mum hit the roof when she found out about the baby, but after a few weeks she calmed down. She tried to help me get my life back on track. She organised counselling for me and helped me to get my apprenticeship.

  “Erin didn’t want me there for the actual birth, so she rang me after Luke was born and I came to the hospital to see him. He was so small and fragile. I knew from the first moment I saw him that I would never let anything separate us.

  “Erin didn’t feel the same way. Even though he was the cutest little guy, she didn’t like to hold him and it was as if just the sight of him irritated her. She and Luke were living with her mum and I’d come over in the evenings to help with Luke, then I’d leave once he was in bed. One afternoon when I got home from work, she was sitting with him on the doorstep. Both of them were crying. She handed him to me and told me to take care of him because she couldn’t. She ran off and left me with Luke—he was three months old. That was the last time I saw her. I tried to track her down. I even went through missing persons, but no-one had a clue where she went. Her mum was too stoned to care. She left town soon after that.”

  “So what happened then?” asked Rachel.

  “Well, Mum helped me to raise Luke. She used to be a nurse, so she was great with him. We got his sleeping and feeding sorted out. I balanced working part-time and looking after him. It was hard, but the toughest part was how lonely I was. My school friends were more interested in partying and hanging out at the pub than talking about baby stuff. The guys at work are great, but they don’t really talk about much apart from cars and football.

  “When you invited me to come to church with you, it sounds strange, but I felt like the sermon was meant for me. I feel a bit like Zacchaeus. He was an outsider and no-one wanted to hang out with him. But when Jesus walked past, He walked right up to Zacchaeus, picked him out of the crowd and spoke to him. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that since Sunday. I rang your pastor yesterday and we met up. He read some verses to me from the Bible and told me that Jesus is at the door of my heart knocking, and all I have to do is open the door and let Him in. My big news is that I’ve asked Jesus to come back into my life.”

  “That is amazing,” said Rachel, stunned, hardly able to breathe.

  “God is amazing,” he replied, smiling.

  It was getting dark and an icy blast of wind blew past them, knocking over the empty mugs. They gathered their things and walked back to the front door. Nate put his arm around her as they walked back up to the house, protecting her from the wind. His touch made her feel delicate and feminine.

  “I feel so blessed that you shared your story with me,” she said as they stepped onto the porch.

  “I’m sorry to burden you with all that. I just want you to understand where I’ve been.” He paused, thinking. “Rachel, I know we’ve only known each other a short time, but I hope that one day we might be more than friends. I know it’s probably asking a bit much, given all the stuff I just told you.”

  “Nate, I don’t hold any of that against you. God has forgiven you for all that stuff. You don’t need my forgiveness. I wish for your sake that you hadn’t gone through all that pain in your life, but who’s to say I wouldn’t have done the same things if I were in the same situation. I feel like there is some reason that our paths have collided and I’m excited to see what’s ahead of us.”

  “So does that mean that you want to be more than friends too?” he asked, his expression hopeful.

  “Yes, but I think it’s probably wise for us to take things slow. You have a son and I don’t want Luke to feel like I’m taking you away from him.”

  “Don’t worry about Luke.” He laughed. “He hasn’t been able to stop talking about you since you babysat him the other week.”

  Rachel smiled. “It’s getting late and I should go inside and check on Hannah.”

  “Can I give you a hug before I go?” he asked.

  Before she could answer, he wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug.

  “Mmm, you smell good,” he said.

  “You smell like motorbike fumes,” she replied, honestly. He laughed, releasing her.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow at church?”

  “Yes,” she said. “I’ll save you a seat at the back.”

  “I’ll make sure I wear padding in case you try to elbow me again,” he teased.

  He walked over to his motorbike and she waved as he rode off. Stepping in through the front door, she hoped that Hannah would be awake so she could tell someone her exciting news.

  * * * *

  Chapter 14

  Hannah woke the next morning feeling much better than the night before. She had woken twice, having to make an emergency dash to the bathroom. Needless to say, it would be a while before she would feel like eating chocolate and pizza again.

  She showered and dressed in jeans and a white singlet top. She stared in the mirror at her reflection, hardly recognising the person who stared back at her. Not hearing from Tim for two weeks had really taken its toll, judging by the dark circles under her eyes.

  Lord God, please watch over Tim and help him to forgive me, she prayed.

  She stuffed her dirty clothes into her suitcase and made her way to the kitchen. Rachel was at the bench, chopping some fruit.

  “How are you feeling this morning?” asked Rachel.

  “Much better. I hope I didn’t keep you awake last night?”

  “I was kind of awake anyway. I had a lot on my mind.”

  “Boy troubles again?” asked Hannah.

  “I had a visitor yesterday, after you went to bed. Nate came over to tell me something.”

  Hannah frowned.

  “Don’t be like that. He told me that he became a Christian. Isn’t that amazing! I mean, I’ve been praying for him, but I never figured God would answer my prayers so quickly,” said Rachel.

  Hannah felt a bit sceptical, but didn’t want to dampen Rachel’s excitement.

  “He said he wants to be more than friends with me, but we are going to take it slow because of Luke. Nate is so handsome. I can’t wait to see him again!”

  “Hang on, Rach. Do you really think it’s wise to get involved with him so soon after he’s become a Christia
n? I mean, won’t you be distracting him? And are you sure he didn’t just become a Christian so you would go out with him?” She watched Rachel’s face turn red and realised her words had come out with a bit more venom than she had intended.

  “Just because your love life is down the toilet, it doesn’t mean you have to ruin mine!” Rachel stormed out the front door, slamming it behind her. Hannah watched from the window as Rachel marched across the grass to a patch of rock on the ground where they used to play as kids.

  Hannah reflected on her words. Was she really just venting her own frustrations, or was her concern legitimate. Can things get any worse? At this rate she would lose her best friend as well as her fiancé.

  She took a deep breath, about to head out the door and apologise to Rachel, when she heard her phone ring. She ran to her satchel and checked the number—it was Tim. She nearly dropped her phone as she fumbled to answer it.

  “Hannah?”

  “Yeah, it’s me. How are you?”

  “I’m okay. I can’t talk long, my plane is about to leave. Listen, I have something I need to tell you. When do you get back in Sydney?” he asked.

  “Tomorrow afternoon. My plane gets in at 3:00pm,” she replied.

  “How about I meet you at the airport?”

  “Sure, sounds good,” she said. “I miss you,” she added, before realising that the connection had been cut.

  While she was happy to hear his voice, she wondered what it was he had to tell her. Was he going to tell her that the wedding was off? Maybe he had met someone else. She took a deep breath, trying to stop her thoughts from running away from her.

  As she moved over to the kitchen window, she caught a glimpse of Rachel and remembered their earlier conversation. She headed across the lawn to where here friend was sitting. As she approached, she could see Rachel sniffing and trying to wipe away tears from her eyes.

  “I’m a terrible friend,” said Hannah, sitting next to her.

  “It just sucks. It’s like you don’t want me to be happy or something. I just don’t get why you are so negative about this.”

  “I suppose it’s because I don’t want you to get hurt, but I know I’ve been too harsh. I mean, I haven’t even met Nate yet. Who am I to judge whether his conversion was real. I’m so sorry, Rach.”

  Rachel put her hand on her arm and smiled through glistening tears. “I forgive you. I know you are going through a hard time at the moment. Tim is an idiot to have left you hanging this long.”

  “Well, actually, he rang me about five minutes ago. He wants to meet me at the airport tomorrow. I think he wants to call off the wedding—he said he had something to tell me.”

  “That doesn’t mean he wants to break up with you,” said Rachel, but Hannah wasn’t convinced.

  “So when do I get to meet your mystery man?” she asked, changing to a lighter topic.

  “Tonight, actually. He’s coming to church.”

  “You know, with everything that’s been going on, I haven’t even asked you what he’s like. All I know is that he has a son.”

  “Well, he’s tall. He has reddish-brown hair and dark brown eyes. He rides a motorbike and he’s a mechanic. He has a husky voice and muscly arms. Does that paint enough of a picture?” replied Rachel dreamily.

  “Can’t wait to meet him.” Hannah grinned. “Shall we go inside and finish our breakfast?”

  Right on cue, Rachel’s stomach let out a groan. They both laughed as they walked back to the house together.

  * * * *

  Chapter 15

  Rachel enjoyed the rest of the day with Hannah. Her parents arrived home in the afternoon and Hannah was shocked by how much Jeremy had grown since she had last seen him.

  Rachel had waited out the front of the church for Nate to arrive, but he had texted her to say he was running late, so she eventually took a seat next to Hannah towards the back.

  During the first song, Steven glanced at her and waved. She smiled back, feeling a little guilty. She hoped he didn’t think there was something going on between them. She had enjoyed their date, but she didn’t intend to take things further, especially now that Nate was in the picture. When the first song finished, Nate walked in and sat beside her. On her other side, Hannah gave her a nudge. “What a spunk,” she mouthed. Rachel grinned.

  “Sorry I’m late,” whispered Nate, leaning closer. “Luke was having a tantrum.”

  She could smell the mint on his breath from his toothpaste and wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to kiss him. Nate smiled at her intimately, as if he could read her thoughts. She shook away the thought and tried to listen to the sermon.

  The minister spoke about the Samaritan women at the well from John, chapter 4. Rachel enjoyed hearing about how Jesus took the time to speak to the women, even though it was against the customs and practices of that day. He knew everything about her, how immoral her life had been, yet he offered her eternal life. It was a similar theme to the previous week, reminding them that Jesus offers true satisfaction. She hoped Nate got as much from the sermon as what she did.

  During the last prayer, Nate placed his arm around her shoulders. She enjoyed his closeness, but she felt a bit awkward about it. She hadn’t told anyone about their relationship yet, except for Hannah. She felt relieved when he removed his arm at the end of the prayer. It wasn’t soon enough, however. As she opened her eyes, she noticed Steven looking over at them, confusion in his eyes. She realized that she had given him the wrong impression during their date. She would have to set him straight.

  After the service, Rachel introduced Hannah to Nate and left them alone to talk while she went in search of Steven. She found him in the foyer talking to a couple of the youth group boys.

  “Steven, can I talk to you?” she asked, as the boys wandered off.

  “What is it, Rachel?” he asked impatiently.

  “I just wanted to say that I hope you didn’t get the wrong impression from our date. I had a great time, and I appreciate you taking me out, but I think we should just be friends.”

  “Let me ask you something. How do you think it makes me feel to see you with another guy so soon after our date? I don’t think we can be ‘just friends’. I wanted more than that, but I’m glad now that I saw your true colours before I got in too deep.”

  He walked away and she felt ripped to shreds. She could see the hurt in Steven’s eyes, but his sharp words did nothing to make her feel sorry for him. She was furious. After all, she hadn’t signed a contract that made her his girlfriend or anything like that. As far as she was concerned, she was just exploring the possibility for romance with Steven, and now she knew for sure that she would never be interested in him in that way.

  She headed over to Hannah and Nate and they left to go to McDonalds for dinner with a group of people from church. She was relieved to see Steven wasn’t there. Afterwards, she gave Nate a long hug goodbye and then drove Hannah back to her parents’ house. Rachel had classes the next day and this would be the last time she would see Hannah for a while. The two friends hugged and Hannah promised to call her the following evening after she had spoken with Tim.

  That night as she lay in bed, Rachel prayed for Hannah, asking God to restore her relationship with Tim. She prayed for Nate and Luke, as was her habit each night for the last couple of weeks. She prayed for her future and that God would guide her and help her to make wise choices. Though she was still extremely angry at Steven for being so rude, she sent up a quick prayer for him too, praying that God would send a nice girl into his life who would be exactly what he was looking for.

  * * * *

  Chapter 16

  Hannah’s eyes scanned the airport terminal for Tim. She hoped he hadn’t left the airport already. Her plane had been delayed by 45 minutes due to bad weather in Sydney. She followed the rest of the passengers to the baggage carousel and spied Tim standing there with her hot pink suitcase and a bunch of wilted flowers. She walked over to him, eyeing him cautiously. He
folded her in a one-armed hug, made a bit awkward by the flowers.

  “These are for you,” he said. “Sorry, they got a bit mangled in the car.”

  “They’re lovely.” She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

  Tim wheeled her suitcase out of the airport and they walked to the car park. He paid the parking fee and then loaded her suitcase in the car, opening the door for her before taking the driver’s seat.

  She could feel her anxiety growing as the silence between them stretched out. She watched his side profile as he drove, not wanting to distract him by starting a serious conversation, especially since the roads were wet from the earlier storms. There would be plenty of time to talk later.

  He took a wrong turn, but she held her tongue. She didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot by criticising his navigation skills. After about ten minutes, though, she wondered if he had an alternative destination in mind.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention that I need to pick up some x-ray results from the doctor—an old knee injury has been playing up,” he stammered.

  She hoped the doctor would still be open as it was nearly 6:00pm. He pulled into the empty parking lot and they made their way to the reception. She sat on a chair in the waiting room while Tim had a word with the woman at the counter. He sat next to her and rested his hand on her leg, sending tingles up her spine—she had forgotten how good his touch felt.

  Hannah heard someone call her name, but it didn’t register at first. She then realised the doctor was waiting for her. It took another moment to realise that the man standing by the door was Dr. Matheson.

  “What’s going on, Tim?”

  “I think you might want to hear what he has to say,” said Tim. “It’ll be okay.”

  She felt her knees weaken as she walked over to Dr. Matheson. She cast a look of incredulity back at Tim before she followed the doctor into his surgery. She couldn’t believe Tim had set this up and she certainly would have some words with him later.

  “Have a seat,” said Dr. Matheson.

  She obediently sat down, finally taking a proper look at him. He looked older than the last time she had seen him, with creases around his eyes and a few streaks of grey in his light hair. He was still attractive, but he didn’t have the same effect on her as he had all those years ago. She took a deep breath as he sat opposite her in his doctor’s chair.