Breathless (Blue Fire Saga #1)

CHAPTER 19. FIRST KISS

  Time is not a line but a dimension, like the dimensions of space—Leesa rubbed her forehead, trying to wrap her brain around that concept for her physics midterm. She had been studying hard all week, sleeping little and playing less, and felt confident she’d done well on her first three exams. Physics tomorrow would be the toughest by far, though. Her tired head was filled with symbols, equations and theories. Luckily, Professor Clerval didn’t believe in exams—instead, he had assigned the class a paper that wasn’t due until next week. So after her physics test, the crunch would be over—until finals, anyway. Ugh!

  At least she wasn’t alone in feeling stressed. Her dorm was filled with girls wandering the halls like zombies, wearing no makeup, their eyes bloodshot, vacant looks blanking their tired faces. Yellow light leaked under doors and soft music filtered through the walls at all hours of the night as many of her floor mates pulled all-nighters. Leesa had been up until the early hours twice already this week and would be putting in another late night tonight. It was nearly one o’clock now, and she still had two more chapters to review.

  Even the usually effervescent Cali had been subdued this week, joking more than once she wished she’d bought stock in Red Bull. Caffeine and herbs could do only so much, though, and Cali was showing the effects of the late hours. Leesa had tried her first Red Bull ever at the beginning of the week, and she was now downing a couple of cans a night. She was pretty sure some of the other girls were using something stronger than energy drinks and coffee, but Red Bull was more than enough for her.

  On top of everything else, she hadn’t seen Rave all week. Not that she would have had time for him, but he didn’t know that, since they couldn’t talk on the phone or text like normal people. So where the heck was he? He could have come by, even though she would have had to shoo him away. At least that would have been something. She wondered if he’d gotten cold feet in addition to his cold hands.

  The words on the page were beginning to blur, so she decided to take a short break. Standing up reminded her how long she’d been hunched over her desk—her spine creaked and protested like she was eighty frigging years old. She forced her shoulders back, trying to stretch the muscles in her upper back, then slowly rolled her neck in small circles. She needed to get out of her room, so she headed toward the stairway to see how Cali was doing.

  Cali’s door was open, and Leesa saw her friend sitting on the bed wearing her purple sweatpants and pink hoodie, a textbook on her lap and a notebook full of scribbled pages open beside her. Five empty cans of Red Bull tossed haphazardly off the side of her bed showed how long she’d been studying.

  Cali looked up at Leesa’s arrival. A tired smile curved her lips. “Hey, Lees, c’mon in.” She closed her book. “I could use a break.”

  Leesa stepped into the room as Cali unfolded herself from the bed, moving as stiffly as Leesa had a few minutes earlier. “I know the feeling,” she said sympathetically as she watched Cali try to stretch out the kinks.

  “This ain’t like high school, huh?” Cali said.

  Leesa shook her head. “Not even close.”

  “I was never up past midnight—not studying, anyhow,” Cali said, grinning.

  “And I never had a Red Bull until this week,” Leesa said. “I guess new experiences are what college is all about.”

  “Yeah, but I’m liking some of those experiences better than others.” Cali stifled a yawn. “Just one more day, and this experience will be over.” Her face brightened. “Then we have the big Halloween party. That’ll be fun.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Miss Enthusiasm strikes again,” Cali teased. She grabbed Leesa’s arm. “C’mon, let’s take a walk around the dorm. Stretch out the kinks.”

  Leesa followed Cali into the empty hallway. It was fairly quiet. All the doors except Cali’s were closed. The only music she could hear was soft and muted—studying music. No light peeked out from beneath Caitlin and Stacie’s door, but most of the others glowed with the telltale yellow strip that said, “Yep, we’re still up studying.”

  “Stacie’s sleeping, lucky girl,” Cali said. “She’s some kind of braniac. Caitlin says she never studies past midnight. Still gets all A’s and B’s.”

  “And here we are, prowling the hallways at one o’clock, with more studying still to go,” Leesa said, sighing. “What I wouldn’t give to be in bed right now. What about Caitlin? Don’t tell me she’s sleeping, too.”

  “Nah, she’s pulling an all-nighter at the library. Says if she stays here, it’s too easy to get distracted or go to bed.”

  “Distracted like walking the halls?” Leesa said, laughing.

  Cali smiled. “This is a break, not a distraction. There’s a difference.”

  “Okay. As long as it’s a break, let’s take five more minutes, and then I have to get back to work.”

  Leesa closed her Blue Book and took what felt like her first real breath in almost two hours. A glance at the clock told her she still had five minutes left for the exam, but she was done—sooo done. She felt good about her performance, though, and was confident she’d gotten at least a B. Definitely good enough for physics. All her studying had paid off. She’d been up until four that morning, slept until eight, then snuck in some last minute cramming before the exam. Now she just wanted to go home, maybe take a nap.

  She walked her booklet up to the front and dropped it on top of the few others already there. A couple of science geeks had been finished for a while, but most of her classmates were still frantically scribbling in their booklets as the final minutes ticked away. The professor, a preppy blond guy in his late thirties, nodded and gave her a small smile—her reward, she guessed, for finishing early. Leesa smiled back before turning and heading for the door.

  The bright sunny day grew much brighter when she saw Rave smiling up at her from the bottom of the steps. He was wearing a black long-sleeve T-shirt and jeans. And those darn gloves, even though it wasn’t all that cold. Seeing him here was the last thing she expected, and her fatigue seemed to melt away. She smiled back and limped quickly down the steps.

  “Hi, gorgeous,” he said. “How’d you do? Did you slay that physics monster?”

  “I done good,” Leesa said, smiling. “The monster’s dead, at least for now. But how’d you know what I was doing? I never told you about my midterms.”

  “I have my methods.” Rave grinned and took both her hands in his. “Just because you don’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not around.”

  Leesa’s smile widened. “Somehow, I believe that.” She squeezed his hands. “And I like it, too. Though I prefer seeing you.”

  Rave’s expression turned serious. “I need to talk to you. How about I take you to lunch?”

  Leesa raised her eyebrows, feigning shock. “You mean almost like a real date?” She let her body go partially limp, held up only by his strong hands. “I may faint.”

  Rave laughed. “Yeah, like a real date. Almost,” he mimicked. His face and voice turned serious. “After you hear what I have to say, you may not want any more dates, real or otherwise.”

  Leesa stared into his eyes, her mind racing. What could he possible say to make her not want to see him? Any thoughts of a nap disappeared.

  “How about over at Clayton?” she suggested, naming the Student Center building. “It’s the nearest place with food. Not great food, for sure, but food.”

  “As long as we can get some privacy, I don’t really care about the food.”

  Privacy. Need to talk. May not want any more dates. What was going on here? Rave was being even more mysterious than usual. No way was she going any farther than Clayton before hearing what he had to say.

  “Let’s go, then.” She let go of one of his hands, but kept a tight grip on the other as she led him around the corner toward the Student Center.

  The dining hall was cavernous, furnished with plain, utilitarian plastic chairs and square wooden tables that could be pushed together to accommodate groups of a
ny size. The rear wall was almost all glass and looked out onto a grassy courtyard. To the right was the cafeteria-style food service section, dominated by a long glass-covered counter stocked with sandwiches, salads, vegetables and side dishes. Behind the counter at the far end, a giant grill sizzled with hamburgers and hot dogs.

  Leesa and Rave crossed to the food line, where Rave grabbed two red plastic trays and handed one to Leesa. The line was mercifully short and moved quickly, with most of the kids skipping past the salads and vegetables and heading right for the sandwiches, fries and burgers. The smell of grilled beef and fries beckoned them, even here at the far end of the counter.

  Leesa also ignored the salads. She was too anxious to hear what Rave wanted to talk about to waste time picking out salad fixings. A burger and fries would do just fine, thank you.

  Rave followed her lead, and a few minutes later they found a table in the far back corner that provided the privacy Rave wanted. The din of dozens of animated conversations still filled the space, but it was quieter here than at the more popular window tables. Hiding her impatience, Leesa squirted ketchup onto her fries and burger, and then offered the bottle to Rave, who shook his head.

  At least he takes off his gloves to eat, she thought as she watched him pull them off and drop them onto the table. He picked up his burger in both hands and took a big bite, his dark eyes smiling at her over the top of the burger. It looked like she was going to have to wait a bit longer to hear what he had to say, so she went to work on her food. First some fries—underdone and soggy—then a bite of her burger. As usual, the meat was cooked to medium. Still, the burger wasn’t bad. Not great by any stretch, but not bad.

  Leesa found herself eating more quickly than usual and forced herself to slow down. Rave would get to what he wanted to say when he was ready. He asked a couple of questions about her midterms, but for the most part they concentrated on their food. When Rave put his burger down to eat some fries, Leesa thought she saw char marks on the bun. How had he managed to get a toasted bun? Hers was cold and doughy.

  Finally, they were finished. Leesa still had more than half her fries left, but she’d had enough. Rave’s plate was empty. She looked at him expectantly.

  “Enjoying our date?” he asked playfully.

  “Immensely. The cuisine was superb, the atmosphere enchanting, the service exceptional. Now, if I can get some delicious conversation for dessert, it’ll be perfect.”

  Rave reached over and grabbed her plates, piling them atop his. He slid her empty tray beneath his and deposited them onto the adjacent table, clearing the space between them. He rested his forearms on the table.

  “You wanted to know why I know so much about vampires,” he began.

  “Yeah,” Leesa replied, surprised this was the subject he was so anxious to talk about.

  “And you’ve probably been wondering why I kept my gloves on when I held your hand?”

  “Um, yes, again.” Leesa wondered at the juxtaposition of the two subjects. Please, please don’t tell me you’re a vampire, she thought. Her fingers began twirling in her hair.

  Rave smiled. “I bet your friends gave you some grief about that.”

  “Yeah, they teased me some,” she admitted, embarrassed that he’d guessed she had told her friends.

  Rave leaned over the table until his face was mere inches from hers. “And you’ve probably wondered why I haven’t kissed you yet, right?”

  Leesa gulped, her heart racing. Her fingers twirled more vigorously. The whole room seemed to have gone quiet, but she knew that had to be her imagination. “Double yes. Triple yes.”

  Rave kept her fastened in his gaze for another moment before leaning back onto his chair. “The answer’s complicated,” he said finally. “And must remain a secret. But you deserve to know. Will you promise to tell no one?”

  Leesa’s brain was spinning. Complicated. Secret. Tell no one. Where on earth was he going with this? What did vampires have to do with holding hands and kissing? For some reason, her mother’s wild story popped into her head. Not again, please, she prayed. She studied Rave’s face. He didn’t look crazy. He looked anxious, but determined. And damn handsome.

  “Yeah, I promise.”

  Rave smiled. She could see some of the anxiety melt from his features.

  “Do you believe in vampires, Leesa?”

  Uh-oh, here we go, she thought. “Not completely. But more than when school started, that’s for sure. Professor Clerval makes a compelling case. And you talk about them with such certainty.”

  “You’re not alone. Most people don’t believe they truly exist. But they do, I promise you. Have you ever heard of volkaanes?”

  Leesa shook her head, frowning. “No, never. What’s a volkaane?”

  “Among other things, they are hunters of vampires.”

  Leesa thought back to Professor Clerval’s discussion about why there weren’t more vampires. Hunters. Helping keep the population in check. But he’d never mentioned volkaanes. “What kind of creature can slay a vampire? They’re supposed to be so strong, so fast, so dangerous.”

  “They are immensely strong, very fast, and very, very dangerous.”

  “And yet you say a volkaane can kill one.” She tried to imagine what kind of creature could kill a vampire, and was suddenly struck by the thought that she was now accepting vampires as fact. “What do volkaanes look like?” she asked.

  A wry smile played across Rave’s lips. “They look a lot like me,” he said.

  It took a few seconds for his words to register. What was he saying? That he knew so much about vampires because he hunted them? Was he telling her he was a volkaane, whatever that meant? Was that why he was so sure Stefan was a vampire?

  “Are you saying…?” Leesa’s fingers busied themselves in her hair again.

  Rave nodded. “Yes. I’m a volkaane.”

  “You kill vampires?” she asked, trying to wrap her head around all this. “How? Wooden stakes? Chopping off their heads? And what does that have to do with not holding my hand or kissing me?”

  Rave put his hand out on the table, palm up. “Touch my hand, Leesa.”

  She hesitated, still not sure what was going on, then pulled her hand from her hair and reached across the table, stopping when it was a few inches above Rave’s outstretched palm. Her fingers began to grow warm. She looked up at Rave’s face.

  “Go ahead,” he said.

  She lowered her hand slowly until her palm rested atop his. His skin was warm, almost hot. Rave let her control the moment, making no move to hold her hand.

  She looked at him questioningly. “It’s so warm.”

  Rave smiled. “That’s why the gloves. I wasn’t ready to explain the heat.”

  Leesa closed her fingers around his hand. His heat flowed into her, made her hand and arm tingle pleasantly. “I get it…I think. You would’ve had to tell me about being a volkaane.” She grinned, remembering the charred marks on his bun. “I wish you’d told me before we ate. You could have toasted my bun.”

  Rave laughed, glad she wasn’t freaking out about what he’d just told her.

  A sudden thought made Leesa blush. “Are your kisses as hot as your hands?” she asked.

  Rave grinned. “Hotter.” His expression turned serious. “And much more dangerous. It’s how we slay vampires.”

  A puzzled frown creased Leesa’s brow. “You kill them by kissing them?”

  “In a way, yes.” Rave brought her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. More heat surged through her, hotter this time. “Our fire draws the life breath from them—burns them from the inside out.”

  Leesa remembered Cali’s story about the Mastons’ deadly kiss. What if some of the other stories were true as well? Get a grip, she chided herself. This was Rave. He would never hurt her. “I guess your kisses give a whole new meaning to ‘takes my breath away,’” she joked.

  Rave laughed, then turned serious. “This is the first time I ever wished that wasn’t the case.” H
e glanced around, making sure no one was looking, and then held his free hand close in front of his chest where only she could see it. “Watch.”

  Leesa stared at Rave’s hand, not sure what she was supposed to see. Slowly, a pale blue glow began to envelop the ends of his fingers. She thought her eyes were playing tricks on her, but a moment later, tiny blue flames flickered from his fingertips. He let the flames dance for a few seconds before closing his fist. The flames disappeared.

  “Our inner fire,” he explained. “Remember when your phone died? You were holding my hand. That’s why we don’t use anything electrical.”

  “So if you kissed me…?”

  “I’d have to be very, very careful. If I forgot myself for even a moment, it could kill you.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “And I have a feeling that kissing you would make it far too easy to lose control.”

  Leesa’s heart sank. What were they going to do? This was so not fair. She was so drawn to him, and knew now he felt the same way. How long could she go without kissing him, when all she wanted, even now, sitting here at the table holding his hand, was to lean across and press her lips to his? Damn his inner fire—what was she supposed to do, kiss him through an oven mitt? And if kissing was so dangerous, how would she ever be able to make love to him? She felt herself blushing at the thought.

  “Isn’t there any way?” she asked finally.

  “There must be,” he said, kissing her hand one more time before returning it to the table. “I’ve already started looking, asking. It’s very rare, but volkaane and human have mixed before. I’ll find a way, I promise.”

  “You’d better. I don’t know how long I can last.”

  “Believe me, I feel the same way.”

  Leesa stood up, limped around the table and sat next to him. “What would happen if I kissed you quickly?” She scarcely believed the words were coming from her mouth. This was so not like her, to be this forward. But it was not like her to want to kiss someone this badly, either. “If I just brushed my lips against yours? Would that be safe?”

  “Yeah. As long as I kept my mouth closed, you’d be okay.”

  Leesa leaned closer. “Then you’d better keep it closed.”

  Rave swallowed hard. “Yes, ma’am,” he managed to say.

  Leesa closed her eyes and pressed her lips lightly against Rave’s, pulling away almost before touching him. Just that momentary contact sent waves of heat surging deliciously through her body. As lame as it sounded, she was sure she saw fireworks, too. She was glad she was sitting down—otherwise she felt certain her knees would have given way.

  “Wow,” Rave said, smiling.

  Leesa returned his smile. “Double wow.”