Specimen

  “Stop!” she cries.

  My movements cease, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Pressure behind my lids begins to build. All I can do is stand still, holding her against the wall. If I move, I won’t be able to control myself, command or not.

  She’s safe. She’s okay. Everything is all right.

  I can’t convince myself. Time is lost as we stand there, Riley pressing her hand to my chest and me with my fingers still cupping her pussy. Her breath is hot on my neck and shoulder. I concentrate on her breathing until I can convince myself to pull my hand from between her legs. I shift slightly so I can look at her face, but she won’t meet my eyes. Her jaw is tensed, her breathing irregular.

  It’s a long time before I am able to speak again.

  “I thought you were hurt.” I reach up and stroke her cheeks with my fingers, forcing myself to be gentle. “I thought I might fail.”

  “I’m fine, Sten,” she says. She still doesn’t look at me, and I’m not reassured. “Everything is fine.”

  “I’m sorry.” Whether or not my anger is warranted is irrelevant. I’ve upset her. I’ve scared her, and I don’t want her to be afraid of me.

  “It’s all right.” She finally looks at me. “I understand. This is part of your training, too. You’re having difficulty moving from one mindset to the next. That’s good for me to know. I can adjust for that. There’s a setting in the primary implant that can be changed. It requires surgery, but it’s minor.”

  Everything is about my training, my conditioning. She’s the doctor, and I’m the specimen. Everything I do is just another number in one of her charts.

  I’m a lab rat to her.

  “Don’t fucking do that again,” I say as I take a step back, releasing her.

  It’s a plea, not an order. I know who is in control here, and it’s not me. Her words make it even clearer than it had been before. When she assures me it won’t happen again, I don’t even believe her.

  I follow her back to the lab. My focus isn’t on Riley’s ass as she walks in front of me, but internal. My muscles are still tense, and there’s an ache in my thighs. There’s still anger bubbling inside my gut, and I have to fight to keep myself from punching the walls.

  In the lab, Riley hands me my usual liquid nutrient drink. I hold it in one hand, staring at the contents and wondering what is really inside of it. I’m almost always given one at night, and I quickly fall asleep right afterward. If it is drugged, I’m not ready to drink it. I have questions on my mind.

  “Are you still wiping my memories?”

  “What do you mean?” Her tone is steady, but her shoulders tense slightly at the question. She knows exactly what I mean; she’s just biding her time before she answers.

  Fine. I’ll play.

  “Sometimes I think I’ve forgotten things.” I spin the cup in my hand and watch the contents swish around. “It seems like days have gone by, but I don’t remember what I’ve done.”

  “Your past memories were erased to make room for the cyber implants,” Riley says. “We’ve talked about that. You’re training now. I need you to remember that, or we’ll be behind schedule. There’s no reason to erase anything new.”

  She’s lying. I know she is. I shave every day, but sometimes when I wake up, I have slight scruff and other times more of a beard. I’ve been injured twice—once when I first woke up and once during a training exercise. Both times, my wounds were treated. Both times, I woke up the next day with no sign of injury.

  The simulation was a lie. She’s lying to me now about my memories. What else has she told me that isn’t true?

  Chapter 5

  “I’m not tryin’ to tell ya how to run yer farm, Galen.”

  An older man with an angular face leans against the barn door and chews on the pad of his thumb. I’ve known him for years, and I trust him implicitly, but his words distress me.

  “I know yer feelin’ obligated to continue yer father’s legacy ‘n all, but the fact is, the fields are barren. You ain’t gonna get any grain out of ‘em.”

  “I can handle it.”

  “Ya’ve taken good care of yer sister ‘n all, but it’s time ta give it up.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Galen!”

  A tall skinny girl runs up from the far side of the barn. The golden hair that hangs well past her waist blows in the dry wind. She’s all smiles and skips as she runs. She’s getting to be too old for that kind of play, but it makes her happy.

  “Hiya, Greenbean!” I call back. “How was school?”

  “Awful,” she says with a smile. “All they talk about is the condition of the planet and how we have to work together to fix it. I get enough of that from you!”

  She laughs. I reach out and tousle her hair.

  “Some of the squash is ready,” I tell her. “Go grab a couple and we’ll have them for dinner.”

  “Sweet!” She runs off.

  I’ve got to make this work even if it means spending everything we have on water. I glance at the large tank near the house, knowing how close it is to empty. If Dad were here, he’d know just what to do, but he’s been gone over a year. It’s only me and my sister now.

  “Ya can’t do it on your own, boy.”

  “I have to,” I tell him. “I’m the only son.”

  I wake.

  The lights in the lab are as bright as ever, but the room is empty. I rarely wake before Riley arrives, but I sense it’s earlier than usual.

  The dream plays through my head again. It’s all so familiar—the red barn, the white house with cracked shutters, and the young girl who brings out such strong emotions in me. The older man was new to me though. I don’t remember him from other dreams.

  Not a dream.

  Sitting up in the bed, I take several deep breaths and stretch my arms above my head. I wonder how long it will be until Riley arrives and what she will have in store for me today. The recent simulations have been difficult, and she told me more were to come. I’m nearing the point where I’ll join some of the other volunteers so we can learn to work together.

  Volunteers.

  I’m not so sure anymore.

  He called me by name. He called me “Galen.”

  I open my mouth, nearly uttering the name aloud just so I can hear it, but after a quick glance to the mirror on the wall, I keep silent. It’s been a while since I’ve woken up with a beard or a haircut or having forgotten going to bed altogether. I am no longer losing chunks of time.

  I have my suspicions. Even though Riley has denied it, I’m sure they have continued to remove bits of my memoires since I arrived here. I have no doubt that I’ve had similar dreams in the past and that I’ve told them to Riley.

  I’ve dreamed of the same place many times now—a farm in the middle of dry, cracked earth. Each dream has included the blonde-haired girl.

  I have a sister.

  Sometimes I sense that she is in danger. I want to help her, but I can’t. Someone always stops me. Details are elusive, and I wake with a dark, gnawing feeling in my chest.

  “Good morning, Sten.”

  That’s not my name.

  I return Riley’s greeting as she steps through the doorway with a tablet in her hand. There’s a sliver of blue beneath her lab coat today, and her shoes match the bright color. She never wears make up or jewelry, and today is no exception. Only the brightness of her clothing, which is usually earth-toned, is different.

  “How did you sleep?” she asks.

  “Fine.” I have to fight against an urge to talk about my dream. Now that I’m in her presence, my mistrust wavers. I focus on her every movement as she goes about checking my vitals. Every time her fingers touch my skin, the sensation travels straight to my dick.

  I haven’t tried anything with her—not since I shoved her against the wall in the virtual simulation room. Every day, the desire is there. No, not desire—it’s much more than that. It’s a deep-seated need, but I’ve managed to keep my restraint.

&nbsp
; Barely.

  “It’s time for another round,” Riley says. She reaches into one of the table drawers and brings out a syringe. There’s a tray full of vials on top of the table. I lie back on the bed, and she slips the needle into my arm. The liquid feels cold. I can feel it spreading through my veins.

  Six injections. By the time she’s done, my skin is tingling, my dick is hard, and I can’t stop clenching my hands.

  “Feels different,” I say.

  “I’m increasing your dosage,” Riley tells me.

  “Why?”

  “You’ve done so well, I thought it was about time to up the ante.” She grins down at me, but I don’t see the humor.

  I find it strange that I understand her reference to a poker game but can’t recall who I really am besides a name and a girl from a dream. Card games don’t seem like the kind of thing that would have been included in my programming.

  “Your body actually gets used to the dose,” she says, clarifying. “We have to increase the dosage to keep seeing more progress.”

  “You said I’ve been doing well.”

  “You have been.” She places the syringes along with the vials in a bag and deposits them on the table by the door. “I do need you to perform exceptionally well during the tests today.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re going to have a visitor.”

  “Who?”

  “Captain Mills,” Riley says. “She’s heard a lot about how well you’re progressing, and she wants to see you for herself.”

  “Mills? As in the Mills Conglomerate?”

  “Exactly,” she says. “Captain Heather Mills is the niece of Graham Mills, the head of the corporation.”

  “What does she do here?”

  “She’s the head of Project Mindstorm, overseeing my work and that of the other doctors here. She’s also in charge of all the military developments of the technical teams.”

  “Are they the ones who designed my implants?”

  “They are.”

  Suddenly, my body goes rigid. I can’t move at all, but I can feel a surge through my entire system. I can see it, taste it, smell it. My heart forces blood through my veins, warming my insides. As the blood flows, the muscles in my legs, arms, and chest flex.

  “Sten? Are you all right?”

  I try to focus on her face, but my vision is blurred.

  “Hold on, Sten. You just need to ride it out.”

  “What…” I can’t utter another word. My throat seizes up, and for a second, I am unable to take a breath.

  Riley’s palm touches my face as she presses a sensor to my temple. My arm jerks, and I grasp her hand. I press it to my chest.

  “Relax. Focus on your breath.”

  “I can’t!”

  She takes my free hand in hers and holds it to her body, right over her heart.

  “Focus on me, then,” she says. “Feel my heartbeat.”

  My fingers twitch. I can feel the steady beat in each fingertip. Closing my eyes, I count the beats. One hundred. Two hundred. Three hundred.

  Minutes pass. I keep counting. Eventually, my body begins to adjust and my muscles relax. I become aware of not just her heartbeat but of how close my hand is to her breast. My dick strains in my shorts.

  I reach out with my legs, wrapping them around her waist and bringing her body toward my crotch. Releasing her hand, I reach up and grab the back of her head and use the other hand to push the collar of the lab coat out of the way. The blue of her blouse contrasts with her skin. It’s beautiful, enticing.

  With one finger, I trace the edge of her collar, brushing over her skin. I can feel her heart beating under my fingertip, and I want to taste the spot where I’ve touched her. I look back to her eyes. She’s staring at my lips.

  I bring us together, pressing my mouth to hers gently at first but then with more vigor. I can taste mint on her breath as my tongue slides over hers. I thread my fingers through her hair and tighten my thighs around her waist, holding her close to me. I trail my finger farther down her collar and spread my hand to cup her breast.

  She pulls back, breaking the kiss.

  “Sten, you’ll have to stop that now.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “I know.” She touches the side of my face, running her hand over my rough cheek.

  “I want you. I need you.” I don’t understand why I’m explaining myself. It’s clear to me from her scent that she wants this too, but she keeps pushing me away. She denies me as she denies herself.

  Why?

  “I’m sorry, Sten. I know this is hard on you.” Her fingers play under my jaw, and I press my face to her hand.

  I feel her touch on the inside of my wrist. Closing my eyes, I sigh heavily. The lust is still there, but it has subsided slightly. For now, her touch is enough.

  “How do you calm me like this?” I ask her.

  “All part of the service,” she says with a chuckle.

  Service. Service me. Service my cock.

  I pull her closer with my legs, and my fingers clutch at her hips. She withdraws her touch and pushes me away.

  “I can’t have you doing this, Sten.” Riley shakes her head. “Not today. Not with Captain Mills coming.”

  I swallow and look down at my now empty hands. They feel cold as she steps away from me. My imagination takes hold, and I see myself grabbing her, holding her on her back against the bed. I push her legs apart and force myself inside of her.

  “I…I can’t stop thinking about it.” Looking back to her, I see sympathy in her eyes.

  “I’ll get something arranged.”

  *****

  Riley’s absence is doing nothing for my emotional state. I can only assume it’s the increased dose that’s impacting me this way, but I can barely keep myself together. I keep rubbing my hands on my thighs. My palms are sweating. I’m thirsty and cup my hand under the faucet to drink at the sink.

  Where did she go?

  She said she was going to arrange something, but I don’t know what she meant. She left shortly afterward, and she’s been gone three hours. She’s never left me alone like this during the day before. Usually I wake up and she’s here, and she doesn’t leave my side until I lie down to sleep.

  Without any other direction, I decide to take a shower. Maybe a cold one would help. I undress, tossing my clothes into a basket near the cabinet, and turn on the water. I can’t stand the cold for long, and end up increasing the temperature after only a moment. I lather up, rinse off, and then grab a towel to wrap around my waist as I shave.

  Just as I’m finishing up, the door opens, and Riley enters. I turn abruptly, half prepared to demand to know where she’s been, but she’s not alone. There is another woman with her.

  This one is not a doctor. She wears no white coat. In fact, she’s barely wearing anything. She has on a tight, short skirt and a shirt with triangles cut out of the sides and front, showing most of her skin. It’s cut low enough that the top of her nipples are clearly visible. Her hair is long and black, her lips full and pouty.

  I can smell her sex.

  A deep growling sound vibrates through me. For a moment, I don’t realize I’m the one making it.

  “Sten,” Riley says softly, “this is Mary.”

  The woman glances at Riley sideways. Mary isn’t really her name, but I don’t think it matters. Her reason for being here is clear. This is what Riley has been “arranging.”

  “She’s going to take care of you.” Riley gives the woman one more glance before she leaves the room, and the door closes behind her.

  I stand completely still, barely breathing as Mary looks me up and down. She smiles a sly smile, sashays toward me, and winks.

  “You are a handsome one,” she says. She stands in front of me, reaches up and strokes her fingers from my shoulders, down my chest, and across my abs. “What do you want, baby?”

  I can’t answer her. It’s not a matter of want; it’s a matter of need. The physical drive is beyond my co
ntrol. The tension is unbearable.

  “Turn around,” I tell her. My voice sounds strange, disconnected. “Face away from me and get down on your hands and knees.”

  There’s a slight spark in her eye—a hint of fear—but she barely hesitates to comply. She spins around and drops to the cold, bare floor.

  “Spread your legs.”

  She says nothing, just does as I tell her.

  With one last glance at the door, I kneel behind her and grab the edge of her skirt. I shove it up to her waist, displaying her ass, which is only barely covered by thin, crotchless panties. My dick reacts immediately.

  She leans forward a little, balancing herself on her hands and elbows. I swallow hard as the muscles in my legs tremble with need. I shuffle forward to get myself closer to her. I can feel her body heat on my thighs.

  I grab the back of her neck with my hand, pushing her further to the floor and holding her there. Tearing the towel from my waist, I take my dick in my free hand and position it against her.

  Have I ever done this before?

  I grasp her hip and shove forward. She cries out as I enter her, but I barely hear the sound. I can only feel the warmth around my cock. I pull back and thrust into her again, my fingers digging into her skin. My ass clenches as I move, rocking into her as fast as I can.

  I want this to be Riley. I want to feel her body gripping my cock. I want to hear her grunts as I shove into her. This should be her body, but it’s not. I can’t even shake the thought long enough to close my eyes and pretend it’s her. All I can do is get this over with.

  I slam into her body relentlessly. My balls slap against her, and she moans with every stroke. I don’t hold back but embrace the sensation as it ripples through my cock.

  I release into the whore and immediately pull out. Pushing myself back to my feet, I take a step away as Mary glances at me from over her shoulder. Slowly, she pulls her short skirt back down enough to cover her pussy. She pulls her legs under her and pushes up with her hands.