Revenge of the Girl With the Great Personality

  I see some paperwork next to her and pick it up.

  “Oh, that’s for next weekend’s pageant,” she says with a hint of annoyance.

  It’s the form the emcees use to introduce each contestant. I start to read it aloud: “Mackenzie has blond hair and blue eyes. When she grows up, she wants to be Miss America. Her favorite food is macaroni and cheese. Her favorite subject is math, and her best friend is her mother.”

  “Mom wrote that.” She looks tired. Too tired for someone her age.

  “Figured.” I nudge her knee playfully with mine.

  We hear Mom’s voice calling out from her bedroom. “Who’s that? Is Lexi home?”

  “Yes,” I shout.

  She comes out. “Oh. How’s your father?”

  “Good.” I hope she won’t press me on the subject.

  “That’s good.” Mom studies me and it’s almost like she can tell I’m holding something back. “What did you talk about?”

  “Ah, stuff …” I hesitate. She’s never asked details before. I wonder if she knows about the new woman. And if she now knows that I know. Is this a test? “Um, he wants both Mac and me to come up in a few weekends.”

  Mac’s face lights up. “Can we, Mama?”

  “I’ll check the pageant schedule.”

  Mackenzie sinks down into the couch. “I’d rather see Dad than go to another pageant.”

  Mom waves her finger at Mac. “Well, maybe if you spent more time thinking about the pageant, you wouldn’t botch your routines.”

  I shoot Mom a look. All Mac does is work on the pageants. I don’t think I could remember all the different routines she has: beauty, talent, western wear, outfit of choice, parade of desperation…. (Okay, I may have made one of those up.)

  “Did your sister tell you what happened? It was a complete disaster. She totally lost her feet.”

  I look over and see tears welling in Mac’s eyes.

  I grab her feet. “Looks like she found them again. Phew, that would’ve been rough.”

  Corny, I know. But Mac smiles.

  Mom, however, is not amused. She studies me for a few beats. I contemplate telling her the truth. I don’t see why I have to be put in yet another awkward position with her by holding back. And when Dad does finally decide to tell her, he’ll probably let it slip that I already know.

  I open my mouth, then close it again. Today has not turned out as I had hoped, and the last thing I want is for Mom to take this news out on me. I had to deal with the back-and-forth during the divorce, hearing my mom say awful things about my father. Mac’s too young to remember, but unfortunately I’ll never be able to forget the screaming, the accusations of lies, the fighting.

  “Is there something you want to say?” Mom stands over me.

  “No,” I lie.

  She storms back into her room muttering something under her breath.

  Mac sits back up. “Are you going out with Cam and Benny tonight?”

  I shake my head.

  “Taylor?”

  “No. I wasn’t sure when I’d get back.”

  Mac walks over to the entertainment cabinet and pulls out a DVD. “Do you want to watch The Muppets with me?”

  “Honestly, Mac, there’s nothing else I’d rather do right now.”

  And oddly enough, that’s the absolute truth.

  I’m headed to lunch on Monday when I see Taylor in an intense conversation with Logan and Alyssa.

  “Hey, guys,” I say as I cautiously approach them. I’m still not used to being part of their circle, so I never really feel like I belong.

  “It’s a disaster!” Alyssa exclaims.

  Logan puts his arm around her and kisses her on the lips. What is with him anyways? Why does he feel the need to kiss or touch her at every opportunity? I mean, Taylor and I kiss, but in private. Well, most of the time.

  I try to shake off the jealous feeling that’s overwhelming me. I thought that as Taylor and I got more serious I’d stop obsessing over Logan, but old habits (and delusional fantasies) die hard.

  Strangely, Alyssa doesn’t seem comfortable with the kiss, either. She never seems as excited about Logan’s affections as I would be, or any other sane girl (well, maybe not so sane in my case).

  “Is everything okay?” I ask.

  Alyssa juts her bottom lip out. “I just realized the booster dinner is the same night as my preliminary pageant for Miss Teen Dallas. So not fair.”

  I guess it’s a beauty-pageant thing to think that everything and everybody is out to get you. How could the athletic department not check the pageant schedule before setting a date for the night when all the athletes get feted at a dinner in their honor? How rude of them.

  I’ve only heard rumors about the booster dinner. It’s allegedly for all of the athletic teams at school, but most of the focus is on the football team. Just another ego boost to a group of people who don’t need it. I’ve always wanted to go, though, because I really am that pathetic. There’s a dance afterward for the attendees, and it’s all anybody can talk about the week after. Cam went to it once when she dated Jeremy, since he was on the football team. I, of course, have never been asked to go. Yet.

  But wait. If Alyssa isn’t going to be there …

  Logan wraps his arms around her. “It’s only a stupid dinner. You’ve been working so hard for this. I’m just going to hang with my guys and keep my fingers crossed for you.”

  “I know.” Alyssa shrugs her shoulder, like Logan’s arm is uncomfortable (jealousy, table of one!). “Nothing is going to get in my way. Nothing.”

  So that means …

  Logan looks at Taylor. “You don’t mind if I crash with you at the dance?”

  “Sure.” Taylor nods. “Lexi and I can slum it with you.”

  Wait. What? I guess this means that I’m going … and that Logan will be alone.

  Of course, all of this is lost on Taylor because he’s so nice. I really don’t deserve him.

  Alyssa looks slightly relieved. “Thanks, guys.”

  As if Logan would be lost without her.

  Stop it, Lexi.

  “Hey, Lexi.” Alyssa looks sweetly at me. “Promise me you’ll throw Logan a bone and dance one song with him.”

  What the what?

  She leans in. “You and Logan are such good friends; it would make me feel better knowing that he wasn’t going to be completely lonely the entire night, especially since you’re such good friends.”

  Yes, I get that Logan and I are “such good friends.” Thank you for reminding me for the millionth time.

  Logan also seems to be annoyed at Alyssa’s use of the phrase. He’s certainly noticed it. He puts his arm down, clearly done with his attempts to comfort her.

  I stammer, “Oh, well … Yeah, I guess … Um.” All three of them are staring at me since I’m completely unable to form a complete sentence. “I, ah, better head over to my table.”

  “You should join us,” Alyssa offers.

  “Thanks, but I’m going to go …” to where it isn’t this confusing.

  “You want me to join?” Taylor wraps an arm around me.

  I think of Cam. “Would you mind if it’s just me, Cam, and Benny? I feel like I need to focus on them a bit.”

  “Of course.” He kisses me on the forehead. “As long as I get to have you all to myself tomorrow night.”

  I excuse myself and head to my regular table. I talked to Benny last night and he’s having Chris sit elsewhere as well. I think it’s important for us to have a few lunches where it’s only the three of us. And I’m extremely grateful that we’re doing it today, since I’m having a crisis of conscience.

  “What’s the latest drama with the Beautiful People?” Benny asks as I sit down.

  “Oh, it’s … I think I’m an awful person.”

  “What?” Benny and Cam ask in unison.

  “Why can’t I get Logan out of my head?”

  “Because you’re a glutton for punishment,” Benny says with a grin.

/>   “Clearly.” I open up my lunch, but I’m not even hungry. I push it aside.

  Cam leans in. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing …” I fill them in on the latest developments. “I should be jumping for joy that I’m with somebody as amazing as Taylor, but now all I can think about is that Logan is going to be there. And that he might dance with me.”

  “You know,” Benny says, serious now, “we’ve often joked about doing a Loganvention on you and it seems like you may really need one.”

  I nod. “I do, I really do.”

  “Truer words have never been spoken,” Cam says with a nod.

  “Okay, repeat after me.” Benny is clearly enjoying this more than he should. “I, Alexis Anderson, do solemnly swear …” He gestures at me.

  “Do you seriously want me —”

  “Do solemnly swear …”

  I give in. I so deserve this right now. “I, Alexis Anderson, do solemnly swear …”

  Benny continues. “To focus on my hot boyfriend and stop obsessing over Logan. I will not stalk his profile page, take different routes between classes so I ‘accidentally’ bump into him, delay packing my backpack so I can ‘coincidentally’ walk to the parking lot at the same time as him, or invent any other activity that’s invented solely to spend time with him.”

  Wow. This is embarrassing. And it’s all true. All of it.

  Benny gestures his hands at me.

  “Um, what you said.”

  “And no talking about him anymore. I’ve got a movie date with Chris tonight, so, Cam, you’re on duty.”

  She rubs her hands together. “Oh, this is going to be good.”

  Yeah, for one of us.

  On my way to meet Cam after school, I run to the bank to put my paycheck into my savings account. I always have a feeling of accomplishment every time I make a deposit. I love seeing the money grow and grow. And when I see my ATM receipt, I don’t just see dollars and cents. I see my future.

  I take the receipt and my smile quickly vanishes.

  My head is cloudy as I try to make sense of the numbers. It’s suddenly as if I’m reading a foreign language.

  Something is wrong.

  Something is terribly, terribly wrong.

  I feel bile start to rise in my throat and I quickly swallow in hopes of keeping the sick feeling from taking over me. There’s no way this can be happening.

  Over four thousand dollars is gone from my account.

  I run inside the bank and see several people in line. How did my account get hacked? Where did the money go? My mind starts racing with all those ads on TV for identify theft. Maybe that’s what happened to me. But how could that have happened? Who would want to be me?

  It has taken me nearly three years to save up that money, including working all summer and babysitting on my days off. And now it’s gone, just like that.

  I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown in line. I keep staring at the clock on the wall, hoping that it can provide an answer for me. But time seems to be standing still. I stare at the hands of the clock, willing them (and me) forward. I start clinging to the hope that the reason the line is taking forever is because there’s a computer glitch that accidentally took four grand from everybody’s account. I’ve got to cling to something. Since I really have nothing.

  Finally, it’s my turn.

  “How can I help you?” a very tired-looking woman behind the counter asks.

  My shaking hand gives her the receipt. “There seems to be an issue with my savings account. I know that I have way more money than this. I think I’m missing about four thousand dollars.”

  She looks at me suspiciously over her glasses. I give her my bank card and photo ID. She starts typing furiously on her keyboard. I try to remain calm, but I feel like I’m going to pass out.

  She examines the screen for a few minutes. “According to our files, you took out four thousand dollars last Thursday.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  She glares at me. “Here’s the withdrawal slip.”

  She turns her monitor so I can see the slip, made out for four grand.

  And signed by my mother.

  My.

  Mother.

  I try to find my voice. “That’s not my signature. That’s my mom, she …”

  She couldn’t have. She wouldn’t.

  But she did.

  The woman gives me a tentative smile and pats my hand. “You have a joint account since you’re a minor. You needed your mom to co-sign for it when you opened it up. It allows her access to the account.”

  I turn around in a daze and hear her call out for the next person in line.

  I feel the tears streaming down my face as I force each step to get to my car. Once I get inside, I collapse in sobs over the steering wheel.

  All the disappointment that I thought I felt, all the frustrations I thought I had, they’re nothing compared to this one moment.

  I’m devastated.

  I’m lost.

  I don’t know what to do.

  Everything’s ruined.

  I have no future.

  Nothing.

  It was all taken away from me with one signature.

  I drive straight to the SuperStore. I’ve never bothered Mom while she’s at work, but since she has zero respect for me, I don’t have the slightest desire to show her any.

  I’m aware that I’m borderline hysterical as I run through the aisles and aisles of every product you can name before I reach the customer service desk. Mom smiles as she sees me approaching, until she realizes that I look like I’m about to commit a murder.

  “I need to take a break,” she says over her shoulder to nobody in particular.

  “HOW COULD YOU?” I scream at her. I don’t care about making a scene. I don’t care about anything right now, just getting what belongs to me. What I’ve earned.

  “Lexi, lower your voice.” She grabs my arm and pulls me into a tight back room filled with boxes.

  I start to sob. “You stole from me. How could you steal from your own daughter? I can’t go to New York now. I can’t do anything. And it’s all your fault.”

  “Stop being so dramatic. It was simply a loan.” She folds her arms, like this is all just an inconvenience to her. Like she didn’t ruin my life.

  I look up at her, my own mother. The only feeling inside me is contempt. “A LOAN? You took it without my permission. And how the hell are you going to repay me?”

  “Watch your language,” she says curtly.

  I’m shaking with anger. “You’re really not in any position to start judging people, Mom.”

  “You’re acting like a spoiled brat.”

  I get in her face. “I’m acting like a spoiled brat. Really? I’m the spoiled brat in this family? Who was the money you stole from me for?”

  She pushes me away. “You’re being unreasonable, Alexis. I was getting final notices. They were going to shut off the electricity. Last time I checked, you used the electricity in the house, didn’t you? And the TV?”

  “And why don’t you have the money for the electricity?”

  “That is none of your business, young lady.” I see Mom ball her hands into tight fists.

  I can hardly see straight, I’m filled with so much anger. All I can think to do is yell, “YOU MADE IT MY BUSINESS WHEN YOU STOLE FROM ME!”

  “Look.” Mom tries to steady her breath. “We needed some new things, the flipper and dresses for state preliminaries in a couple weeks. This is the big leagues, and that means money. We’ll be able to pay you back when Mackenzie wins.”

  I can see in her eyes that she truly believes that all our troubles will go away if Mac takes home a big trophy. “And what if she doesn’t?”

  She clicks her tongue in disgust. “Get over yourself, Lexi. You know, it would be nice if just for once you had some faith in your little sister.”

  I can’t believe this. “Just like the faith you have in your other daughter. You make me sick.”

/>   Before I realize it, the wind’s knocked out of me. I try to steady my breathing as I adjust my head, which had been suddenly jerked to the side. A stinging sensation burns my face.

  It takes me a moment to realize that my mother has slapped me.

  My mother, who has stolen from me, slapped me.

  Her hand, the one that just came in contact with my check, is now covering her mouth. “Oh, Lexi, I’m so …” She reaches out to me.

  I pull away and run out of the back room and through the store as quickly as I can. So many thoughts are spinning through my head. My money is gone. My mom hit me. I will never get to New York. I will never get out of here.

  I realize that I was supposed to meet up with Cam at the mall. But I can’t see her right now. I can’t see anybody right now. I don’t want anybody to know what happened to me. And I can’t go back to my house. I have nowhere to go.

  “Lexi!” I hear someone calling after me, but I keep running. I can’t talk to my mom. In fact, I never want to speak to her again.

  By the time I get inside my car, my entire body’s shaking. I try to put the key into the ignition, but I know that I’m currently in no condition to drive.

  “Lexi?” I hear a tap outside the passenger-side window. “Are you okay?”

  I turn to see Logan. The one person I’m supposed to have out of my mind is standing right in front of me with genuine concern etched on his face. He points to the lock. I close my eyes for a few moments, wishing for him to disappear. Of all the times I’ve wanted him to be near me, this is a time when I want him to be as far away from me as possible. I don’t want him to see me like this, to know what my family’s like. I need to hold on to some fantasies, as desperate as they are.

  “Lexi, please …” I hear him call out to me. I stare straight ahead as I unlock the door.

  Logan gets in and touches me lightly on the arm. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He speaks softly, as if he’s afraid of what he may hear.

  I can’t speak. I can’t do anything but cry.

  “What …” He reaches up to my still-stinging cheek. I instinctually raise my hand to block him. “Give me a second.”

  He gets out of the car and I see him talking to his mother in the rearview mirror. His mom looks upset as he pats his hand to his cheek.