Divorced, Desperate and Delicious

Lacy stared at the tip of her nose and decided to count to ten and then she’d get up, slip on something soft and cottony, and give herself a hard swift kick on her cotton-covered butt. No, she’d give herself two. One for not having condoms, and another lick for letting herself get this close to having sex in the first place. Then, after she’d given herself a good talking-to, she’d hand Chase Kelly his walking papers. No, running papers. He’d have to move really fast or she’d go after him and drag him back.

  She hadn’t counted to three when the bathroom door opened again. Naked from the waist down, she reached for the edge of her comforter and pulled it over her. Chase’s footsteps approached, then the mattress shifted in the familiar two-in-the-bed way that wasn’t so familiar to her anymore. The subtle give of her Serta just reminded Lacy of how long she’d been alone. She closed her eyes and felt the whisper of his breath across her chin.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have asked about protection before I started this, and slamming the door was stupid.” His lips brushed over her cheek.

  “We can’t do this.” She put her hand on his naked chest to push him back, but she didn’t push. Instead, she just felt him: chest hair soft against her palm, firm flesh over firmer muscle. His heart thumped against her hand. Her heart thumped against her rib cage and the empty ache doubled between her legs.

  “I can’t let this happen,” she said. “It would be stupid, and I’m a lot of things but stupid isn’t one of them.”

  “I know,” he said. “But I can still . . . make you happy.”

  His hand slipped under the comforter. She caught it around her belly button. “No,” she said.

  “Lacy,” he whispered in her ear. “Let me pleasure you. Let me do this for you.” He dipped his finger into her navel.

  She shook her head, wondering why she’d never known before how sensitive that little dimple in her tummy was. “No. I’m fine. Let’s just call this one big mistake and—”

  “You’re not fine,” he said. “And the only mistake here is we don’t have protection. It’s been too long for you. You’re shaking. I can do this. I can give you what you need without ever—”

  “But I don’t think I can,” she said, still holding his wrist tight against her lower stomach.

  “I’m not asking you to return the favor,” he whispered, and kissed the edge of her lips. “This is all for you. Just you.”

  “You don’t understand. I don’t think I can come without . . . Just stop.” She draped her free hand over her face and wished her Serta would swallow her up, or all those Serta sheep would show up and take Chase Kelly to dreamland.

  “Oh, I see. Well, then, you’ll just have to let me try.” He nudged her palm from her eyes. “I’m really good at it.” He kissed her again. “Of course, I’ll have to use my tongue . . . and my fingers.” He wiggled his hand against her belly. The soft tap of his five fingers caused the ache between her legs to grow more intense.

  “No.” She bit down on her lip. “It won’t work.” His lips brushed against her temple, and her hips shifted and her grip on his hand loosened.

  “Don’t you remember how it was when you were a teenager and didn’t want to go all the way? Didn’t you . . . experiment? I’ll keep on my jeans, but I can make you feel like a million bucks. Sex without sex.”

  Sex without sex. The words echoed inside her head. She’d never had sex without sex. Sure she’d learned to take the edge off her celibate frustration, but solo orgasms were like cooking for one: With no one to help stir the sauce or taste the spices, it hardly seemed worth it. And while the food might curb the hunger, eating alone made one feel . . . lonely.

  “A million bucks, Lacy. It’s like a home run without actually going to bat.”

  Lacy considered all the ways he might help her knock the ball out of the stadium. Her two previous partners hadn’t exactly won awards in the art of foreplay. Peter considered undressing a woman all the stimulation a female needed—and most of the time he’d wanted her to come to bed naked. Why, five times out of ten, sex with Peter brought to mind the country western song, “I Shaved My Legs for This?” While Brian had been a better lover, even he’d struck out more times than not. Well, he hadn’t struck out; she had. She simply wasn’t good at it.

  “Sex without sex,” Chase whispered against her throat.

  No, she’d never had an opportunity to have sex without sex. No double orgasms, no sex on the floor, no phone sex, no shower sex—she truly was the no-sex queen. So maybe sex with no sex was right up her alley.

  He kissed her again, softly, seductively, and she loosened her hold on his hand a little more. If it wasn’t really sex, then she wasn’t really in danger of throwing herself on the altar, was she?

  “I won’t take off my pants, I promise.”

  She let go of his hand. She expected him to go directly to work, because it might take a lot of work. Instead, he pushed back the covers and reached for the hem of her shirt.

  “You get to come. I get to look.” He winked and slipped the pink T-shirt over her head. Sliding his hands beneath her back, her white bra fell loose.

  The man knew his way around women’s underwear. Probably knew his way around a woman’s body as well. She had a feeling sex without sex was going to be a wonderful thing.

  If I can do it.

  Insecurities bubbled to the surface, giving her a hive-raising case of stage fright. What was it Peter had said to her in defense of his elevator fiasco? You’re not frigid, but you’re barely lukewarm.

  The silky feel of her bra whispering over her breasts sent old doubts scattering.

  “Mmm,” Chase said, and cupped her breasts in his hands as his thumbs brushed back and forth over her tightening nipples. “You’re beautiful.” He sounded breathless. Stretching out beside her again, he kissed one breast and then the other. “How do you like it? Soft?” He took her nipple in his mouth and suckled. She moaned and arched upward.

  He raised his face. “Or like this?” His teeth grazed her nipple, nipping at the tender skin. Her breath caught.

  “And the verdict is . . . ?” he asked, and turned her face to look at him. “Hard or soft?”

  “Both,” she said, and her eyelids fluttered shut.

  “Look at me,” he said, running a finger down her neck.

  She opened her eyes.

  • • •

  Chase studied Lacy, lying on the bed before him. Her baby blues were so readable, so honest, and desire burned in the irises. He wanted her to see him, not to go somewhere off in her head and pretend he was her ex-husband. “I want to see the passion in your eyes, Lacy. Keep those baby blues open for me, okay?”

  She nodded and he kissed her again. He moved his hand to the waiting dampness and, parting her with two fingers, he watched her face as he searched for just the right spot. When her eyes widened, he knew he’d found it. But he’d no more than touched the tiny nub when she tightened her legs together.

  “Have you really never come like this?” he asked, hoping she was telling the truth. The idea of being a first for her thrilled him. He rubbed his finger over her again.

  “Never.” The word barely left her lips and she pulled away from his hand as if embarrassed or concerned. ‘‘And I . . . don’t think . . . I can. Look, I’m just a vanilla wafer, a lukewarm wafer at that.”

  “And I’m ice cream. Isn’t that what you said?” he asked, and kissed her—one of those open-mouthed kisses that came hard, wet, and was given to changing a woman’s mind. “Don’t fight it,” he whispered against her lips, and his hand found her under the covers again. “Go with it. Relax and let me have fun. It’s just like sex. When you feel like jerking away, don’t. Push against me instead.”

  He took her breast in his mouth, loving how it puckered against his tongue. Her hips rose a bit, pushing against his fingers as he moved over her silky wet skin. He felt her withering, felt her growing wetter with every stroke of his finger against the tender little nub. But every few minutes she’d pull away
, fighting instead of going with it. She didn’t know how to let go. Neither had she completely opened her legs for him. He moved to nibble on the curve of her neck. “Think about what I’m doing. How I’m touching you, where I’m touching you.”

  “I can’t. I’m not good at this,” she insisted.

  “Shhh. We’re just getting started. And you’re good all right. Bet you taste good, too.” He trailed kisses over her belly as he slipped to the waiting treasure. He’d be damned if he let her down. Lacy would go all the way over the edge, even if it took all day.

  Positioning himself between her half-opened knees, he kissed the inside of her thigh. “Make room for me,” he said. “Let me see you, all of you. No hiding.” He slowly pushed her legs farther apart and she let him with no resistance. “That’s it.” He lowered his face to her, breathed in her scent, and nearly lost it with wanting to rip his pants off, to bury himself inside her and rock against her, to rock hard until his body burst with release.

  He gritted his teeth. Later. He’d find his own release later. He lowered his mouth to her. The moment his lips touched the tender pink flesh, she jerked away from him. “Relax,” he whispered, and pulled her back.

  “I can’t. We should just stop. I’m not going to be able to—”

  “Relax. It’s going to happen.” He kissed and savored the honey of her want. “You do taste good,” he said, and had to smile when he realized the Christmas music still blared in the background.

  “Ohhhh,” she said, as he laved her with his tongue.

  He wrapped one arm around her leg to hold her in place. “See how important the tongue is?” he whispered, and, sliding two fingers inside her, he suckled and licked until he felt her giving in to the moment. Her hips suddenly started shifting. Not to jerk away, but in that slow up and down motion, the dance of pleasure, of release. She made a throaty little noise and her thighs tightened around his neck. He pressed a hand under her soft bottom, holding her against him as he took her closer to that home run. Then he felt her let go. Her sex convulsed around his fingers. She cried out at the same time the first lyrics of “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” came over the stereo system. He pulled his mouth away, his fingers still stroking, and raised himself up on his elbows.

  He smiled at the sight of her. She had her neck arched back and her bottom lip sucked into her mouth. Her fists clutched handfuls of the white sheet and her entire body trembled. A light purring noise continued from her throat. He’d never known a woman who needed this as much as she did.

  When her whimpering stopped, he moved to lie beside her, wiping her moisture from his chin. He frowned when he found her eyes shut. “Where are those baby blues?”

  Her lids fluttered open, and he saw the passion filling her eyes. He smiled at her, running his finger down her cheek. “Didn’t think I could do it, did you?”

  Her face reddened. “I didn’t think I could do it.”

  He grinned, not because it was funny but just because it felt right. A lightness entered his chest, and Chase recognized it as happiness. His life was a mess and he was . . . happy. Damn, it had been a long time since he’d felt this.

  “You are so beautiful.” He kissed her then, moving his tongue over her lips.

  “See how good you taste,” he whispered into her mouth.

  She hesitated as if the boldness of his words stunned her. But she didn’t withdraw, and she allowed him to continue kissing her. Pulling back, he slipped one of his still-damp fingers into her mouth, letting her taste herself further. She brushed her tongue over his finger, and the action made the crotch of his jeans shrink two sizes.

  Feeling as if he would burst, he pulled her to his chest and ran his hands over her naked back, over her curvy waist, and lower to the roundness of her buttocks. He wanted to grind himself against her, to find his own release, but something kept him from it. This was for her. And amazingly, he didn’t feel cheated. Well, a certain part of him did, but he could wait.

  “You ready to go again?” he whispered in her ear.

  “Oh, no!” she said, and flushed red.

  He laughed and spotted an innocence in her he hadn’t seen in a woman since he’d been in high school. Something told him Lacy hadn’t known very many lovers. “Come on, one more time. I thought you were an expert on multiple orgasms,” he teased.

  She shook her head. “But if you want, I could . . .” She moved her hand to his zipper. “It’s only fair.”

  He grabbed her wrist. The offer should have had him shucking off his jeans. His sex throbbed with want, but something stopped him. Maybe it was her innocence. Maybe it was just that this felt different. Maybe she wasn’t the only one holding back. He pushed the thought over a mental cliff.

  “I’ll get mine when we can go all the way,” he said. “Which better be soon.” He nuzzled her neck, but he felt her tense in his arms. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” she lied, and buried the left side of her face in his shoulder.

  They lay there without speaking, her head pillowed on his chest. All three cats joined them on the bed. The gray feline stayed on the edge of the bed, as if thinking of escape. Chase stared at the creature and it stared back with fear in its eyes. But Chase also saw the cat’s need to be with people, to be loved. Glancing down at the woman curled beside him, he realized Lacy and the animal reminded him of each other. Both of them had been hurt, let down. And damn, if he didn’t understand how it felt. Life could be brutal.

  Lacy had her eyes closed, but he could tell she wasn’t asleep. Lowering his cheek to her temple he whispered, “So, how was it?”

  “How was what?” She opened her eyes and reached over and stroked the white cat.

  “If you have to ask, it scares me.”

  Her lips shifted into a smile. “Let’s just say it was worth shaving my legs for.” Even joking, her voice sounded a little shy.

  He glided his hand over her hip, past her thigh to test the smoothness of her calves. “Mmm,” he said.

  Time moved with a slow uphill climb. Not that he really minded; he had a naked woman in his arms for goodness’s sakes. But this was the cigarette-smoking time, and as a nonsmoker he’d never really known what to do with it. Oddly enough, he’d never hung around this long with Jessie or the others he’d bedded in the last year to feel this what-do-we-do-now stage. With his late wife, well, there had been no awkward moments with Sarah. Just rightness. And when Lacy turned her head and her cheek pressed a little deeper into his chest, the moment’s awkwardness seemed to slip into oblivion.

  “Is that really the first time you came without going all the way?”

  She didn’t answer immediately. “Yes.”

  “Not even with the tongue? Oral sex?” He leaned on his side to see her face, to see if she spoke the truth.

  “I . . . I just never got there. Terrible lovers, I guess. Or maybe it was me.”

  “Definitely not you. And don’t be so hard on those other men either. “ He grinned. “They just can’t compete with the best.”

  Her laugh sounded along with the music of “Jingle Bells” and her ringing chuckle struck him as more soul-soothing than the familiar song.

  He traced a finger around the curve of her ear. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever watched a woman come to ‘Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.’”

  She chuckled again. “When and where did you get so good at that?”

  “In high school. In the back of my father’s Impala. I’d do anything to get in a girl’s pants, even if it meant leaving mine on.”

  She sucked on her lip for a second. “Well, it was so good, I’ll bet you didn’t ever get much further with those girls. I mean . . .” Her blue eyes twinkled with laughter. “Why go to bat if you can still hit a home run without taking a chance of striking out, or hitting a foul ball.”

  He grinned. “Oh, but you haven’t seen me use my bat. I never strike out or hit a foul ball. I’m a really good hitter. Just wait and see.” He touched the tip of her
nose.

  A soft chuckle escaped her lips, but the tension came again into her body. Chase ignored it. Whatever reservations she had about going all the way with him could be dealt with. She’d given him this much; eventually she’d give him more. He kissed her and wondered how soon he could get his hands on some condoms. Not soon enough, the tightness in his pants seemed to communicate.

  “You really are beautiful,” he whispered, and his gaze moved down over her breasts, her flat stomach, the tapered curves of her waist and the soft triangle of hair between her legs.

  She noted his gaze and reached for the sheet.

  “Oh no.” He laughed and pulled it back. “I told you the deal: I pleasure you, and I get to look.” He rolled on top of her, took her hands in his and raised them above her head.

  “So I’m going to walk around naked?” she asked.

  He grinned. “That or I can handcuff you to the bed. Have my way with you whenever I want, as many times as I want. Practice my . . . batting average.”

  She smiled, and then her gaze moved to his shoulder and she frowned. “It’s redder.” She pulled free and touched his arm. “Did you put more alcohol on it?”

  “Once,” he said, turning his head, and seeing she was right; the wound did look redder. “You don’t have any more antibiotics, do you?”

  “You should go to the doctor,” she said.

  “You be my doctor,” he said seductively. But as his mouth lowered, the doorbell rang. He growled and dropped his face into the curve of her neck. “Probably your FedEx guy back to beg for sex.” He sat up.

  Her eyes glittered with mischief. “Since I can’t get dressed, I’ll have to answer it naked,” she teased. “I’m sure Hunky wouldn’t mind. I think he’s been hoping I’d do that for over a year.”

  “Funny.”

  Chase got up and threw her jeans on the bed. The doorbell rang again. Fabio started yapping somewhere down the hall. As Lacy slipped her legs into her soft denims, Chase went to the window.

  “Shit!” he said. He moved back, his heart thudding against his sore ribs. “It’s Zeke.”

  Chapter Fifteen