Deacon

  I put a finger light against his anus.

  “I want this.”

  “Take it,” he said immediately.

  I shook my head, bent and lapped at his cock lightly, once, twice, again, and got another growl.

  I fought back the pulse between my legs and looked at him again.

  Then I went for it.

  “Plugged.”

  “You gonna suck me off with me full?” he asked gruffly.

  Oh my God.

  He didn’t say no.

  He didn’t say no.

  Try me.

  I was trying him.

  And he was proving himself to me.

  “Not off, but I am gonna suck you,” I answered cautiously.

  “Then you ride me.”

  “That was my plan.”

  “Fill me, Cassie, then get on with it.”

  “You’re bossy for a guy tied to a bed,” I noted, doing it flippantly and miraculously, considering I felt the area between my legs become drenched just with the idea of taking his ass.

  “You think at this moment I won’t wreck your bed to get loose and bury my dick in you, what you’ve been doin’ to me, six months without your body, six months without you, six months of nothing, you think wrong. Plug me. Suck me. And fuck me.”

  He wasn’t saying no.

  And I wasn’t wasting this opportunity.

  “You got it, baby,” I whispered, then stroked his cock from base to tip with my tongue before I moved from the bed.

  I had no idea what I was doing, except taking what he did to me as a guide.

  So I made fast work of getting what I needed (something he had left when he left me, I thought callously; now I was glad I didn’t have to run to his truck because that would suck).

  I came back to the bed and sucked his cock while I prepared him with oil. When I had him ready, I wrapped my hand around his cock, holding it to my mouth while I circled the tip with my tongue and pressed the tip of the plug to his ass.

  I stopped circling. “Ready?”

  “Do it,” he bit out through clenched teeth.

  Suddenly, I was unsure.

  He said he would do anything for me; he was using this to prove it, to prove I had his trust, to prove that meant something, to prove my trust meant something to him, to prove he loved me. But was that anything in the sense of doing something he didn’t want?

  “Do you want this?”

  “Do it,” he rumbled.

  I pressed it in a bit.

  His head fell back and the headboard moved forward and slammed back into the wall.

  Maybe that wasn’t good.

  I pulled it out, calling, “Deacon.”

  His head jerked forward, his eyes burning, his face filled with need.

  At the sight, my nipples tightened and my clit pulsed.

  “Plug me, suck me, and fuck me, Cassidy.”

  I put the tip to him again. “Tell me when you’re ready for more.”

  “Drive it in.”

  I blinked.

  “Drive it in, Cassidy. Fill me and suck me.”

  Oh my God.

  My entire body spasmed.

  “Are you sure?”

  The bed moved with his buck.

  “Fill…me.”

  I held his eyes and drove it in.

  His head shot back and his grunt reverberated around the room as the bed moved again with the violence of his reaction.

  “Dea—”

  His head shot forward.

  “Suck me.”

  I bent to him immediately.

  I felt him tense all around me, certain the bed would fly apart, all the restricted power of him fighting to be unleashed.

  I added a hand and stroked him tight while I sucked him hard, and when I did, I got a deep groan.

  He liked this. He was getting off on this.

  That knowledge affected me so deeply, I was about to put my hand between my legs or give up and ride him when his voice came at me, guttural.

  “Twist it.”

  I lifted my eyes to his but kept working his cock.

  “The plug, Cassie, give me more. Jack me, suck me, and twist it.”

  My nether regions convulsed but I did as he asked and watched his head fall back again. “Fuck yeah. Keep doin’ that shit, baby. Fuck.”

  Oh yes, he liked this so much he was totally getting off on what I was giving him.

  God, was this beauty what he felt when he did this to me?

  He’d said it was. He’d said I’d get it when I had it.

  I so got it.

  I watched him, listened to him, sucked him, jacked him, twisted the plug, my sex now throbbing. Deacon at my mercy, Deacon taking what I was giving him, demanding it, getting off on it.

  I took a chance, pulled the plug out, stretching him around the bulbous part, then I started gently stroking him with it.

  The bed moved again with his buck and his head jerked up.

  More need. More hunger.

  God.

  God.

  It was a miracle I didn’t come with just one look.

  “Don’t…stop,” he growled, voice harsh with the emotions in his face.

  I fucked him gentle while jacking and sucking him hard. His head dropped back again and his legs strained powerfully against the ropes in a way I thought the bed would break loose.

  I was losing it, getting into it, giving it to him, all of it harder, faster, when his head shot up again.

  “Drive it in and climb on. Now, Cassie.”

  With zero hesitation, I did as told, and when I was in position, I slammed down fast, taking him deep, my head falling back at the magnificence of him filling me.

  God, I missed him.

  Everything.

  All of him.

  Every inch.

  “Ride wild,” he ordered.

  I again did as I was told, riding wild, abandoned, moaning, mewing, whimpering, one hand going to my breast to roll my nipple, the other one between my legs to work my clit.

  “Take what you need, baby, fast as you can so you come.”

  I looked down at him, all of that power contained for me, all I knew he’d given to me, and fucked him harder.

  “Need you to come,” he gritted, his whole body strung tight in a way I could actually see it.

  “Then you’ll get what you need,” I whispered, rammed down on him, arched back and came. I did it moving on him. He liked when I rode his cum and he gave me what I liked when I was tied for him.

  I returned the favor.

  He’d been holding back. I knew this when I heard his grunted climax mingle with my whimpering cries as we both found it at the same time.

  And it was marvelous.

  The best I ever had.

  But then again, with Deacon, it always was.

  I dropped my head forward, resting a hand to his chest and trailing it lightly to his abs. I was still moving, slowly, taking him in and gliding him out, watching our connection.

  He’d been right. I could do this for eternity, watching me take him.

  It was beautiful.

  “Untie me now and do it without losing my dick.”

  I lifted my head when I heard his voice and moved immediately to do what he asked as best I could. He would never leave me tied if I didn’t want it, so I gave him the same.

  It was kind of hard to keep his cock while I released his ankles, but by a miracle, it happened.

  I barely got the last tie loose before I was on my back, Deacon on me and still inside.

  “You know what I just gave to you?” he demanded, voice still rough from sex.

  All my insides clutched.

  “You didn’t like it,” I said and my voice was fragile with a thread of dread.

  “Fuckin’ loved it,” he clipped.

  “I…uh…” I stammered, confused as to the intensity of his mood.

  “Still plugged for you, Cassidy.”

  I blinked.

  “Lyin’ on you, seated deep ins
ide you, ass filled, for you.”

  Understanding dawned, my body relaxed, and I whispered, “Deacon.”

  “Do anything for you. Do anything for you and like it. Do anything for you that you want and nearly beg for it. You wanted my ass, I gave it to you. I’ll give it to you again. No one, woman, no one I’d give that to. Except you.”

  “I—”

  “I trusted you and you gave it to me good.”

  “Yes,” I agreed quietly.

  “You trust me and I give it to you good.”

  I pressed my lips together but nodded my head once.

  “You want more?” he asked.

  I wasn’t sure what he meant, but even so, I didn’t know if I could take more, whatever it was.

  My head decided for me and nodded again.

  “You got all of me, woman. You just took the last I had to give. I’ve fucked your ass, and essentially, you just fucked mine. Now I’m lyin’ on you, filled with the plug you drove deep ’cause that’s what you wanted and I gave it to you. You got off, fuckin’ huge. You got me off, arguably bigger. You gonna want that again?”

  Absolutely.

  “Yes,” I breathed.

  “Then I’ll give it to you. I’ll give it to you and love every minute of it. No boundaries. That’s us, Cassidy. That’s who we are. That’s what we were both searchin’ for. That’s what you gave me. That’s what you wanted from me. That’s the way it has to be. That’s what started on your kitchen table. Everything I was holding back came loose and I gave you Deacon on that table and you wanted it. You wanted me. That’s why I needed for you to call me Deacon ’cause I was holdin’ on to that, holdin’ on to givin’ me to you, free of the garbage that was suffocating me. Suddenly feeling clean with my Cassie. Then, the next fuckin’ day, I fucked it up, settin’ boundaries. Now they’re gone.”

  Oh my God.

  Was he saying…?

  He lifted one of his big hands and rested it at the side of my head as he dipped his face close to mine. “In this bed, out of it. Naked or not. No boundaries. All in. Nothin’ held back.” He pressed his hips between my legs and I drew in a sharp breath. “You’re all mine, Cassidy, every fuckin’ inch. And I’m all yours, just the same. Do you understand me?”

  This was too big, too amazing, too precious to process, but it forced itself into my head and settled there all the same.

  Name’s Deacon Gates.

  Gates.

  Not John Priest.

  He gave that to me.

  And he gave it to Milagros.

  All in.

  Nothing held back.

  No boundaries.

  I understood him.

  Completely.

  “Yes,” I repeated.

  “Do you agree with me?”

  I felt tears sting my eyes as I replied, “Yes, honey.”

  “You’re mine.”

  I nodded.

  “I’m yours.”

  I nodded again.

  He pressed the pads of his fingers in and dipped his face even closer. “It’s a beautiful war, baby.” He dipped so close, the tips of our noses brushed but his eyes never left mine. “And I…just…won.”

  Looking into his eyes as he said those words, that’s when I started crying.

  He pulled away an inch and let me, his thumb circling my temple, catching the tears because they were there, but only because of that. Mostly, he just let them fall.

  I did too.

  Deacon let me cry for a while before he was done with it.

  And I knew he was done when he asked, “Can I take that as your surrender?”

  “Doesn’t feel much like surrendering,” I told him quietly.

  His lips quirked and he replied, “Then I’ll take that as your surrender.”

  My eyes slid to the side on my “Whatever.”

  “Cassie?”

  I looked back to him.

  “Baby, you got work to do,” he informed me.

  “Sorry?”

  “Shocked as shit, it feels good, but it’s gotta go, and I want your mouth wrapped around my cock when you pull it out.”

  His words made me squirm underneath him.

  “Fuck, she likes it up the ass any way she can get it.”

  My eyes narrowed. “You said you liked it too.”

  He put pressure on my head with his hand until it turned and then he put his lips to my ear.

  “Let you plug me before I bind you and I’ll work you full. You up for that?”

  I squirmed again.

  Deacon kissed my neck and said there, “She’s up for that.”

  “I’m really not in the mood for teasing, Deacon,” I informed the pillow.

  “Good,” he returned, releasing me so I could right my head and catch his eyes. “’Cause I’m in the mood for my Cassie to wrap her sweet mouth around my dick again, doin’ it this time unplugging my ass, but want her to keep goin’ until she sucks me off.”

  My brows drew together. “You just came.”

  “Then you got your work laid out, woman. But I’ll make it worth it, you do that sittin’ on my face.”

  And it happened again.

  I squirmed.

  Deacon grinned.

  At the sight of it, I couldn’t help it.

  I missed it.

  And there it was, back.

  I wrapped him in all four limbs.

  He knew what that meant. He told me with his eyes. Then he dipped his head and took my mouth, giving my tongue a light stroke with his before he lifted his head again.

  “Like you wrapped around me, baby. But want your mouth and your pussy, so get a move on, yeah?”

  I stared into his beautiful, tawny eyes, taking them in, knowing I’d never forget the look in them, and knowing right then from what was shining out of them, I’d never have to.

  Then I said, “Whatever.”

  “Cassidy?”

  “What?” I snapped, but my heart wasn’t in it. I was just being ornery.

  “Heart and soul, gut and balls, I love you. There’s no one I’d rather hold. Not until I’m eighty. Not until the day I die.”

  I kept staring at him a beat before I burst out crying again, (though the last time I didn’t burst, this time I definitely did).

  Deacon rolled off me, gathering me in his arms and holding my face in his throat while I did it.

  When the tears quieted, but didn’t subside, I felt his words stir the top of my hair.

  “Do you love me too, my Cassie?”

  My Cassie.

  “Heart and soul, belly and womb, I love you too, Deacon.”

  His hand at my head and arm around me got so tight, they caused pain.

  I didn’t protest.

  I’d missed that too.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Daddy Was Home

  It was after our session upstairs, our shower together, we’d dressed and I’d told Deacon I needed to call Milagros to let her know I was okay. He’d told me he’d keep himself occupied in order to give me privacy while I did that.

  We went downstairs together and it was me who opened the door to the kitchen to let Bossy free. She immediately saw Deacon and started growling. Then she must have caught his scent because she stopped, began whimpering, dropped her head, and nearly crawled to him.

  My nose started stinging with tears again.

  Deacon instantly crouched and slowly lifted a hand her way, murmuring, “Yo, Boss Lady.”

  She sniffed his hand, her tail started wagging violently, and she jumped up on him, licking his face.

  Daddy was home.

  Apparently dogs didn’t forget.

  Boss Lady was so like me.

  I hurried into the kitchen to give them their moment.

  Okay, I did it so I wouldn’t bawl like a baby again.

  Once there, I set about making Deacon a snack.

  Because, of course, he’d told me he’d made his decision to return to me, didn’t waste time, so on his way, he didn’t eat.

 
* * * * *

  “So is his name John Priest or Deacon Gates?” Milagros demanded to know through the phone at my ear.

  While Deacon was eating and bonding with Bossy, I’d put on a jacket, scarf, and gloves, took my throw out to the porch, wrapped it around my legs, and called Milagros.

  Milagros wasn’t very happy with my explanation that I was fine, mostly because it came with the inclusion of the fact that Deacon and I were talking (amongst other things that I didn’t tell her) and working it out.

  “His name is Deacon Gates,” I said into the phone.

  “And how is that, Cassidy?”

  “Can I explain that part later?” I requested, buying time because I knew that explanation would be uncomfortable. I just hoped it wouldn’t end in me losing a friend who was important to me because I’d lied to her. “And I will, I promise.”

  She was silent a moment before she said, “I had a bad feeling about him and I didn’t say anything when he left you. I didn’t remind you of that. I didn’t because you didn’t need reminding because he took all the life out of you and I didn’t want to hurt you further. But now, his returning out of nowhere having a different name doesn’t make me feel any better, even if I hear it in your voice that you have that life back.”

  Well, that was good to know.

  I decided to go for it.

  “I knew his name was Deacon before,” I admitted hesitantly.

  This just brought silence.

  “I’m sorry. I really am,” I continued quickly. “But he was it for me and he came with boundaries. Now there are no boundaries, at least that’s what he says anyway. But we haven’t gotten into that and we need to get into it. The only thing I can tell you now is that I had him, the real him, and you, Manuel, and the kids did too. He just used a different name.”

  I heard her sigh before she said, “People do many things for many reasons, and those reasons are the right reasons even if another person might think they’re wrong. That other person, they do not live in those shoes.”

  God, she got it.

  I felt extreme relief.

  Then, unfortunately, she kept going.

  “But with that, mi amiga, you do those things and you don’t hurt people along the way. If you do, then they’re not right. They’re just wrong.”

  “I hear you.”

  “I hope he did what he had to do for the right reasons.”

  “His wife died an ugly death, Milagros.” I heard her soft gasp at this news but went on, “And he feels guilt he didn’t save her. He was working through that. My understanding so far is, he worked through it and came back to me.”