Peace Love Resistance

  As much as I wanted to turn around and tell her that I was right there, and I was hers, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I wanted to hear how the story ended, too.

  “Wait. Orange moonshine? I don’t remember orange moonshine being in the story.”

  Tristan paused, briefly giving them the lowdown of a drunken night and a van rally somewhere out west, counting with her fingers. “Bongo drums, dancing, a lot of orange moonshine, a full moon, and sex. That’s about all I remember. And then Baby-T. He was conceived, drunk on moonshine, on a night of a super moon, and he arrived on a full moon. This kid is such a crystal child. You watch, he’ll wake up so many people it isn’t even funny. Right, T-Man?”

  My body reacted to the glance over her shoulder, stepping behind the pillar when she paused to rub Baby-T’s back. A loud thump from my suddenly pounding heart echoed in my head when she didn’t speak, fearing the moment she stepped around the barrier between us. I opened my eyes and exhausted a quiet breath when she continued.

  The girl in the gray hoodie seemed to be the only one uninterested. She looked around a lot and she made me nervous. Not to mention, I didn’t put anything past Clay Wise.

  “Some destinations are all you see, and you focus all your time and energy on that one destination. You force yourself to get there with all your strength, and then when you arrive…You’re like. Wow. This is what this feels like? And then you move on to the next one. You know what I’m talking about. If I could just lose the weight, if I could just get this promotion, if I could just marry this guy. You’re always chasing a spot, but when it’s a destination lesson. You’re hit from nowhere. You didn’t set out to find it, it found you, and you’re not leaving without some impact. Not until you’ve learned the lesson.

  “You can’t just dust yourself off and move on when a lesson destination hits you. No matter how much you’re aware, things out of your control are in synchronicity. If you don’t remember anything at all from what I’ve said over the last few hours, remember this. You’re getting everything you ask for. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever self-talk you’re telling yourself, you’re getting it. Be careful who and what you let in there. I’ve thought about meeting Tobias ever since I found the esoteric word, twin flame. With everything in me, I know I attracted him, and I attracted this lesson that I had no idea what to do with. He didn’t come how I ordered him.”

  “He was this dumb little preppy kid who thought the world owed him something with an arrogant chip on his shoulder. Not once did I think about my twin flame coming to me asleep. I visualized us so many times it isn’t even funny. How deep we’d feel, how connected we would be, and—.”

  Another pause caused my heart to speed up, but then one of the girls broke the silence. “What?”

  Tristan grunted, a realization stopping her train of thought. “Huh… Nothing. I’m just happy I met you guys. Thank you for being my friends and listening to me. You have no idea how much it’s helped. I feel so content with you guys. I might not let you go. Thank you. I appreciate all of you.”

  I smiled warmly at Baby-T and I swear he thought the same thing I did. It wasn’t the new friends. It was us. Our trio. Our one plus one equals three. Her me and Baby-T.

  “Anyway. I knew from the first moment I saw him, he was the one. While I was doing everything I could to find that one person who shared my soul, Tobias was busy in a lower place, unable to see past his cell phone. When you’re in a lower vibration like Tobias was, but you know there’s more and you start questioning it, it’ll find you. We’re all searching, but most of you earthlings are too busy with all your distractions and you miss it. That’s why you hit those lesson destinations like a brick wall. Just because you’re too busy to see the signs doesn’t mean you won’t look around and find yourself smack dab in the middle of a lesson destination. I shook my head so many times at that boy, asking why, it isn’t even funny.”

  “That’s when the hard lessons are learned. As much as I fought it, as much as I denied him, as much as I begged for it not to be him, it was. It was and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. We were so different, but so the same. We were easy and as contradicting as that sounds, together we were the space between a heartbeat. Even looking back now, all the times I got so mad at him for being like them, it was just a spot that we leaped over without notice. When I first met Tobias, I knew I was about to be tested beyond belief. I knew that, yet I couldn’t keep my toes out of the water. As much as he drove me crazy, I couldn’t get enough of him. Fire and ice. I can’t explain it guys, but I’m telling you, if it’s not easy to be together, if it’s hard, or you can’t be you without the lies, maybe he’s not the one. You know?”

  “I feel like you’re talking to me,” the bride of the trio interrupted.

  Of course Tristan gave her opinion. That’s what she did. “Are there lies?”

  “No, of course not. We’re getting married in a little over a week.”

  “I don’t care. And I’m not talking about lies that come out of your mouth. I’m talking about the lie in your gut. Even though Tobias wore gigantic blinders, not once did I keep who I was or what I stand for in a closet. If Mitch hasn’t seen that burning in your gut; that thing that we’re all born with…I’m just saying.”

  “Whatever. Get back to Tobias. I’d rather hear your love story. It’s way more interesting than mine.”

  Tristan took a deep breath, and even though I couldn’t see her, I knew the look. “That’s what scares me. Anyway, as asleep as he was, Tobias was such a good student. Except for that damned gratitude journal. I never did get him to write in that thing.”

  Another smile touched my lips, thinking about writing in that stupid thing every day for the past two weeks, trying any and everything I could think of to get her back. I couldn’t wait to show it to her.

  “He was so concrete and our love was so organic. We never got bored, we never ran out of things to talk about, love making was not even in this realm, and I swear we kissed a thousand times a day. Not just attention seeking kisses either. I’m talking full on make out sessions with all the gooey feelings. Every single time. God I loved kissing him.”

  “Gah! I feel like I’m waiting on a bench with Forrest Gump. Where the hell is he?”

  “He’s not here because I let my emotions blind me and get in front my baby. I didn’t protect him and that’s hard to look over. That’s a lesson destination that I’m not taking lightly. I can’t.”

  The three matching girls went back and forth, interrupting each other with worry while I stood there, inconspicuously hanging on to every single word, the other girl just sitting there. She didn’t participate at all.

  “Nooo, just stop. I’m not listening.”

  “Shhh, finish the story. He didn’t just let you go. There’s no way. Not Tobias. I’ll kill him,” one of the girls threatened like she knew me, like she was waiting for the end of the movie just like me.

  “God, I’m beginning to hate this story. Where’s the hero that rescued your baby in the middle of the night? Where is he, Tristan? It can’t end here in this bus station. It just can’t.”

  Tristan looked over to Baby-T before continuing, smiling at his vocal excitement. “What are you so excited about, little man? Huh? He’s out. My mom promised that she dropped the charges and he was told to get out of Connecticut,” she explained, a light chuckle before throwing me under the bus. “That’s the second state he’s been thrown out of.”

  “Do you think he’ll try to find you?”

  “Of course he will, but I’m going to a place he would never look. As much as I hate it there, I think it will be good for us. Plus we have Alanis here to keep us company. We’ll be fine.”

  “And then what? This is very disconcerting. We’ll never know if he found you.”

  “He won’t. I’m very good at hiding.”

  “But you’ll buy another van? You’ll go back to living on the road? Right?”

  “You have to. How else will he find you???
?

  “God, I hate this story. It can’t end here.”

  “Calm down, girls. It’s not even like that. I know I’m not okay without him. I know he’s not okay without me. We’re a team. One plus one equals three. He’s excruciatingly empty without us and I know it. I also know it’s for the best and it won’t be for long.”

  “Why? What do you mean?”

  Another pause, but this time to consider how much she should say. “My mom is involved in something that has to pass before I can find him. Something that’s best for all of us if he’s unaware. Tobias is way stronger than he thinks he is. He’s in a lesson destination just like me, but even when I had to dumb down to my mom’s husband in order for him to help me get Baby-T back, I knew it was temporary. I didn’t think the dumb boy would show up at my door. I’m still in shock over that one.”

  “That’s because he loves you. And then what?” the one holding Baby-T questioned.

  “I’m going to wake up. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m just going to wake up and be thankful I met Alanis and I have someone to help me with the lesson in this destination. Just like I’m going to help her get through her destination lesson. Right, girl?”

  Tristan leaned over and kissed Baby-T’s hand and I ducked once again. Until she stood that is.

  “You have no idea how much I love you right now” the girl in the hood said, once again.

  “I do. And don’t mention it. I’m so glad I met you guys. Can you watch him for a second while I—.”

  “What’s wrong?” one of the girls sitting across from Tristan questioned.

  That’s when I stepped out. It was almost like Baby-T and I were waiting to connect. As soon as I was close enough, he practically climbed up my shirt. I knew Tristan was standing there in the middle of an, Oh my God, moment, her mouth agape and her eyes wide, but I couldn’t react to her. Not at the moment. One thing had my full attention. This boy. I wrapped both my arms around Baby-T when his little arms went around my neck and my emotions exploded. This boy was mine. This boy was my heart and that’s what knocked the breath out of my lungs. Literally. All I could do was fight the tears and hold on to him like I was never letting him go. I wasn’t.

  “Tobias? Oh my God. What are you doing? You dumb, dumb boy. What are you doing here?”

  “Come here you, dumb girl.”

  Tristan reacted exactly how I knew she would. She couldn’t wait to reach me. With one step over the back of a plastic chair, she was in my arms. I held onto her the same way I held onto Baby-T and I was never letting her go either. Neither one of us released the tight grip we had on each other. We stood there in the middle of a bus station, embracing each other without any barriers. That layer had been ripped off the moment she saw me take her baby from the stranger. There wasn’t a thing standing between us; no anger, no hurt, no betrayal. Nothing but pure raw love.

  I’m not sure how long the moment lasted, but I knew when it ended. Tristan released the hold she held on me, her feet dropping to the floor.

  “How the hell did you find me?”

  “I’ll tell you later. We need to get out of here.”

  “I can’t go anywhere with you.”

  For amusement only, I asked. She was going if I had to carry her out. “Why?”

  “I hate you,” she pouted, her hand squeezing my face while her lips kissed mine. She wasn’t going anywhere, and my heart knew it.

  “I’m sorry, T. I’m sorry I betrayed you. I should have told you about the tape, but I swear to God, I hid it to protect you, not to hurt you. And the other. My God, T. That killed me just as much as it did you. One second I was spinning out of control, having the best time of my life, and the next.”

  “It’s a lesson destination. There’s no warnings. You told your mom, T. You gave her a part of us that I didn’t give you permission to give away.”

  “Not because I wanted to be vindictive, Tristan. You know that. I didn’t think she would do something that low. God, girl. I can’t live without you, my heart doesn’t work without you, my mind doesn’t work without you, my life doesn’t work without you. Can’t you see that? I’d rather die than go another day without you, T. We’re in this together and I’m not walking out of here without you.”

  The whole scene played out like one of those Hallmark movies my mom used to watch at Christmas. Nobody was there but Tristan and me until that moment. Our little trio. Her new friends were the ones to remind us where we were.

  “Can we clap now?”

  Tristan smiled, her tense body finally relaxing into mine. “This is my, Ty, guys.”

  The entire bride party not only clapped, they cried. Everyone but the chick with the gray hoodie had tears in their eyes, and I used the time to say hi to Baby-T.

  “Hey, buddy. I missed you so much.”

  “I seriously have to pee. Come with me. We’ll be right back. How did you get here? I’m so confused, Tobias,” Tristan said, her sentences running together one after another.

  I followed her through the crowd of travelers with my eyes searching for anyone suspicious. “I want to get out of here, T. Seriously, I don’t like this.”

  “Did you like break into my mom’s house or something? How the hell did you know I would be here?”

  “Your mom told me. She gave me three grand in cash to get you the hell out of here. Something’s going down, Tristan. I really think it has something to do with Clay.”

  “My mom? What do you mean my mom?”

  “Clay didn’t know anything about me showing up there. Your mom got me out of jail. She sent me here to get you.”

  “She did?”

  “Yes, did you give her the tape?”

  “No, I didn’t bring it. I hid it under the shelf behind the toilet in the van, but I told her about it. She didn’t believe me of course.”

  “Shit, T. I bet it’s not there. Somebody flipped the van. Who drove it to the police station?”

  “I don’t know. I was too busy dying inside. I missed you so much, Ty.”

  We kissed again before she ducked into the bathroom. First I kissed Baby-T’s cheeks about a thousand times, and then I looked around, not really seeing anyone but Tristan’s new friends. I nodded to them, sharing a half a grin and turned around with my favorite little person. “Poor kid. You been putting up with this all morning? Huh? I missed you so much and you gotta promise me to never do that again. You hear me? I’ll always be here for you, buddy. Always. I love you so much.”

  The only reason I even knew Tristan was back was from her fingers sliding into mine. I pulled her close and kissed her.

  “I have to get Alanis setup and then we can get out of here.”

  “Alanis?”

  “Yes, she needs a little help right now. She’s in a lesson destination.”

  “T, I’m totally cool with you helping people down on their luck, but what do you know about this girl?”

  That was a stupid question to ask Tristan Swan. Walking back to her friends, she reminded me how brutally honest she was. “I know that she just got out of prison, and she’s been there since she was seventeen. I’d guess her to be about twenty-five, so I’d say she did about seven years. I know that she was headed to Indiana to an aunt’s house that she didn’t really want go to. I know that I have the keys to a four-bedroom condo that nobody is using, and I know that I have the means to help her out. That’s what I know. Any more questions?”

  “Yes,” I said, my hand stopping her as we reached her friends. “Were you really going to come after me?”

  “Swear to God. We’re gonna have another baby. Wait until you hear my idea. It’s so perfect.”

  I tried to say the word back to her, but it wouldn’t come out. My mind said it though, over and over and over. Baby? She said baby. Even though I was looking right at her friends when all but one clapped for the news, I couldn’t really hear them. The word baby kept me from reality, knocking the wind clean out of my lungs. Both of them.

  The bride of the trio shus
hed everyone with her phone to her ear. Shhhh, be quiet, be quite. It’s ringing. “Yeah, hey, Mitch. It’s me. Um, yeah. I can’t marry you. I gotta call this thing whole thing off. No it’s not a joke. I don’t even like football, and I hate jazz. I hate it so much. I also hate how you talk over me when I’m trying to make a point, like your point is the only one that matters. I think I’m gonna hold out for the real thing. Good bye, Mitch.”

  Tristan dropped her hand from my chest and covered her wide opened mouth. “Sarah! You did not! Oh my God, girl. I’m so proud of you.”

  The ex-bride to be grinned, “Pfft, forget him. I’m holding out for that. I want to be loved like that.”

  “Good for you. And remember, if you feel like you can’t be the same girl you are here with your two best friends…He’s not the one. Right, T?” Tristan asked, her body leaning into mine and her lips kissing Baby-T’s and then mine.

  I still couldn’t talk though. Everything happened around me, and I could hear the voices, but I couldn’t really comprehend any of it. Glancing around at the suddenly quiet station, we all turned to see what everyone had quieted for. The attention was on the televisions in all four corners of the waiting area. Breaking news. An eighteen-year-old anonymous tape had been sent to a reporter who had once worked for Clay Wise. Two officers directed Mr. Wise into a police car right outside his fancy office, and his wife cried fake tears in the background. Jordan Piers…The same Jordan who had shared a jug of orange moonshine and a one night stand with Tristan. A night he probably didn’t even remember. He moved his arm in front of his wife and two daughters, blocking the cameras and refusing to answer questions, ushering them into the backseat of a gray sedan.