The Lighthouse of Oz

  The next morning, Scruffy and Bright Eye continued their journey and soon found that the river passed through an unbelievably vast field of poppies. The heavy aroma of the poppies made them sleepy as it did to anyone who passed through that field. The two neighbors, however, were prepared. Scruffy had an antidote which he drank. Bright Eye put on a gas mask, which made him look like a plague doctor. They passed several people and a variety of animals. All of these people and animals were sound asleep and, quite likely, would never wake up ever again. Some of them, if one could judge by the plants growing around them, had been sleeping there for a long time already.

  The two neighbors very nearly kept going and left the sleepers to their poppy-induced slumber. Scruffy, however, stopped along the bank. He said, "Hold on, just a moment."

  Bright Eye stopped a little way further along the river bank. He turned himself around in his boat and said, "Don't tell me that you're planning a rescue."

  Scruffy said, "Hardly. I might, however, be able to help these folks." He was searching through a bag that contained his possessions.

  Bright Eye asked, "What are you thinking, man? For all we know, these folks want to sleep here. By trying to help, we could be making things worse. Do you realize that? Some of the most heinous villains in this world are well meaning but badly misguided people who just want to help but don't know what they're doing and so make a hash of things."

  Scruffy, by this time, had found what he was looking for. It was a smoke bomb. Scruffy opened the top of it and then poured in some of his antidote for poppy induced sleepiness. He closed the smoke bomb. Scruffy said, "I'm not planning on helping them, exactly. I'm certainly not going to rescue anyone. What I was hoping to do was to give them an option. This smoke bomb will wake everyone up for a few minutes. Those who want to leave will have a chance to do so. Anyone who wants to go on sleeping, will likely be annoyed with us but need only wait an hour or so for the antidote to wear off."

  Bright Eye asked, "Do we really want to get involved? We're not heroes. We're just two guys on a journey."

  Scruffy lit the fuse and flung the smoke bomb into a cluster of sleeping people. Scruffy said, "Let's scram."

  The two neighbors went on their way as a cloud of smoke spread out behind them.

  The poppy field was soon far behind the two neighbors. Bright Eye removed his gas mask and stowed it in a box. He made some adjustments to his monocle. He looked quite pleased with himself. Scruffy couldn't imagine why and didn't bother to ask. He smiled and kept paddling. They traveled quickly and easily for the rest of the day. In this part of Oz, farms were smaller and more sporadic while buildings were larger and more complex and increasingly common. Increasingly, the buildings were green rather than blue. The two neighbors were nearing the famed Emerald City, the greatest (and only) metropolis in the Land of Oz.

  This was were they met a six foot tall wogglebug that, weirdly, stood only on its hind legs and walked around like a human. It spoke like a human, too. The wogglebug said, "Hello, good travelers. How do you do? Could you tell me, please, if you have noticed the new lighthouse that has appeared a few days ago?"

  Scruffy said, "We have. As it happens, we are on our way to visit it."

  The wogglebug was nearly dancing with joy. It said, "Oh, I'm delighted to hear it. You must tell me all about it if you get back."

  Scruffy asked, "If we get back? What do you mean, 'if'?"

  The wogglebug asked, "Haven't you heard the rumors?"

  Scruffy and Bright Eye both said that they hadn't.

  The wogglebug said, "Sometimes, when people visit that lighthouse, they never come back."

  Bright Eye asked, "What happens to them?"

  The wogglebug shrugged and said, "No one knows. The story that I heard was that the lighthouse appears every so often. People go to have a look at it. Most of them are never seen again. Eventually, the lighthouse disappears. Maybe it takes people with it when it vanishes. On the other hand, it's just a rumor. You'll probably be fine."

  Bright Eye asked, "Do you know any other rumors about this lighthouse?"

  The wogglebug scratched one of his antennas and said, "I know that it's visible from all over the Land of Oz, which is odd because nothing else on the ground is visible from that far away. Our line of sight usually gets blocked at some point. A lot of people don't see it at all. Those who do see it, are often drawn to it like moths, like the two of you are. That's it, I'm afraid. That's why I'm hoping that someone will go there and make it back to tell me about it."

  Scruffy asked, "Why don't you come with us and see it for yourself? Do you have a boat?"

  The wogglebug hesitated for just a moment. Then it said, "I wouldn't dare. I'm afraid that the lighthouse would eat me. Godspeed, good travelers." The wogglebug ran away.

  Bright Eye said, "What a strange creature."

  Scruffy asked, "Do you mean the wogglebug or us?"

  Bright Eye asked, "What do you mean? What's so strange about us?" He then made some adjustments the ridiculous contraption that he called a monocle.

  Scruffy said, "Not a darn thing. We have a spooky, haunted lighthouse that might try to eat us and we're making a b-line for it. Nothing strange about that. Nothing strange at all."

  The two neighbors spent the night in a wonderful (and very green) inn. On the way in, they spotted a wanted poster tacked to the wall. The poster had a picture of Scruffy's smoke bomb on it. Beneath the picture was written, "The owner of this smoke bomb is sought by the Rip Van Winkle Club for interrupting their marathon sleep session in Munchkinland's poppy field."

  Scruffy dryly said, "I hope they catch the jerk."

  Bright Eye slapped him on the back of the head.

  The following day, the two neighbors traveled along the southern edge of the Emerald City itself. Green skyscrapers towered over them. More people than they had ever seen walked along the wide streets. All of the people in the Emerald City dressed resplendently and in green.

  They didn't meet anyone who knew anything about the lighthouse. They found, however, the main archive of Oz which housed everything officially known about anything by anyone in the Land of Oz and about the Land of Oz. They left their boats at a dock and walked into the archive. They did not feel entirely welcome. The archive was clean, orderly and quiet. Scruffy and Bright Eye were none of these things. Several snobby archivists watched them suspiciously. The two neighbors paid no mind to them and proceeded to search through the archive's records.

  They found only a single reference to the lighthouse. That reference had very little to say and mostly told them what they had already learned. The lighthouse came and went as it pleased. It appeared in different places but always on the sands of the desert and always exactly one step outside the borders of Oz. Its light was visible from almost anywhere in Oz. Most people didn't notice it.

  Anyone who entered the lighthouse was never seen again.

  Scruffy and Bright Eye left the archive and continued their journey. Soon after, the river emptied into a vast lake that was just outside the Emerald City. It was big enough that they could not see the far side. The lake was clearly a vacation spot for people from the Emerald City. Lots of people were there. Some were playing on the beach. Others swam and splashed in the water. Nautically minded folks were cruising around in sailboats. One enterprising fellow had set up a kiosk on the beach. He was serving hot sake and funazushi.

  The two neighbors set off straight across the lake. The shore behind them with the magnificent green towers of the Emerald City on it receded steadily away. Eventually it vanished from view altogether. Even the people in sailboats were left far behind. None of them ever went out that far from shore. The two neighbors still couldn't see the far shore ahead of them. They couldn't see any land at all. The water was clear but they could not see the bottom. They were in two small boats on an enormous lake. Neither said anything but both worried that maybe
they should have stayed along the edges of a lake this big. Their boats were meant for navigating shallow and narrow rivers, not wide open and deep water. They kept going, anyway. Several uneventful hours passed. Little fish swam in the clear water. Seagulls flew overhead. A pair of ducks swam alongside the two neighbors.

  Something big swam beneath them. Bright Eye thought that it looked like an eel with a squid's head. It was graceful, silent and big enough to eat a shark. Scruffy identified it as a freshwater grick. They watched the grick swim away until they lost sight of it.

  They could see the light from the lighthouse. It was directly in front of them.

  Bright Eye adjusted his monocle and said, "I think that I can see the outline of the lighthouse itself but it's still a long way off. What do you want to do?"

  Scruffy asked, "What do you mean?"

  Bright Eye asked, "Do we really want to do this? After the stories we've heard about that lighthouse, I'm not sure anymore that I want to go there. This might be about as close as I want to get to it. We could turn around and head home. Call me a coward if you like. That lighthouse scares me.”

  Scruffy said, “I won't. That lighthouse scares me too. I've been scared of that thing since the moment I first saw it.”

  Bright Eye asked, “Okay, so why continue? If we start now, we might be able to return to that beach resort by dark.”

  Scruffy said, “I'm going on because I'm scared. I don't like being scared. I have to face this thing and stare it down and try to make sense of it. If I don't then I'll probably spend the rest of my life fearing it. That would drive me nuts. I don't want to live like that. I'd rather face this scary, spooky, haunted lighthouse and maybe get eaten by it. Call me crazy if you'd like.”

  Bright Eye said, “You're crazy. You would rather die in fear than live in fear? Is that what you're telling me?”

  Scruffy said, “Maybe. When you put it like that, it really does sound crazy. On the other hand, they say that only people who actually enter the lighthouse are the people who vanish. How about if we stay outside? We'll be fine as long as we don't go in. Hopefully. Probably."

  Bright Eye said, "Famous last words. 'We'll be fine.' Alright, then. Let's find out what's on the other side of this lake. If nothing else, I don't want to spend the night out here."

  The two neighbors gave the lighthouse one last suspicious glance. They had almost convinced themselves that it might attack them. It was unchanged. They continued on their journey.

  Scruffy said, "At least it's not raining."

  Just like that, rain poured from the sky. Someone may as well have turned on a gigantic faucet.

  Scruffy looked at the sky and said, "Really?!"

  Bright Eye said, "You've jinxed us!"

  Scruffy said, "At least it's only rain. It's not a thunderstorm."

  A bolt of lightning darted across the sky. An explosion of thunder knocked the two neighbors flat.

  Bright Eye yelled, "At least my neighbor hasn't been struck by lightning!"

  Scruffy yelled, "Oh, come on! That's just petty!"

  The far shore came into view. The two neighbors double timed toward it. The downpour continued. The lightning and thunder continued. Thankfully, neither Scruffy nor Bright Eye was struck by lightning. Sadly, they continued to yell hateful things at each other, none of which were worth remembering.

  They reached the far shore and found that it was taken up entirely by a cornfield. The only exception was a smallish cabin with a covered porch on the front. The cabin was painted yellow. The two neighbors pulled their boats out of the water and hurried onto the porch. They spent the next few moments just being glad that they had found shelter from the thunderstorm.

  Scruffy asked, "Whose cabin do you suppose this is?"

  Bright Eye said, "Let's find out." He knocked on the door. No one answered. Scruffy looked through a window. He saw no one inside. Bright Eye tried to open the door but found that it was securely locked.

  Bright Eye said, "No one is here."

  Scruffy said, "Fine by me. If nobody is home, then they won't mind us spending the night on their porch."

  Bright Eye asked, "You would sleep on somebody else's porch without permission? Do you have any couth at all?"

  Scruffy said, "Of course I do. It's just that, at times like this, practicality takes precedence. We'll clean up when we leave in the morning. They'll never know we were here. No harm done. Of course, if you would prefer, we can always spend the night in our boats."

  Bright Eye looked at the thunderstorm that carried on all around them. Then he said, "Alright." The two neighbors laid out their sleeping bags on the floor of the porch. They cooked dinner over little gas stoves. They sat comfortably on top of their sleeping bags and watched the thunderstorm while eating dinner. Brilliant bolts of lightning lit the sky like a strobe light. Thunder rattled the windows of the cabin.

  Bright Eye asked, "So, where do we go from here?"

  Scruffy said, "That depends. Are we still heading for the lighthouse?"

  Bright Eye said, "Yes. Certainly." He leaned back against the wall of the cabin and smiled. He said, "I wouldn't miss it for anything."

  Scruffy asked, "I thought you didn't like that lighthouse."

  Bright Eye said, "I despise it. I loath it. I'm terrified of it. I haven't had this much fun in years! Well, getting caught in a thunderstorm while on a lake was completely miserable but other than that, this has been the most thrilling adventure that I've ever had. Besides, I can't have you facing that lighthouse all by yourself. You'll get yourself eaten."

  Scruffy said, "I suppose that you're going to protect me? Like you protected me from getting struck by lightning a little while ago?"

  Bright Eye said, "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

  Scruffy said, "Never."

  Both of them burst into laughter.

  Bright Eye said, "Now, then, where are we and how do we get to the lighthouse from here?"

  Scruffy unfolded his map and laid it on the floor on the cabin's porch. He and Bright Eye looked it over. The map showed the lake that they had just crossed. The map also showed that the two neighbors had just crossed the border into Winkie country. The border was at the edge of the lake. Most importantly, the map showed a river in Winkie country that fed into the lake. That river crossed most of Winkie country and could be followed very nearly to the edge of the Land of Oz and the desert that surrounded it.

  The sun had gone down by this time and darkness was settling in. Scruffy folded his map. The two neighbors were both wet and tired from their journey across the lake. At that point, their most immediate concern was getting a good night's sleep. They crawled into their sleeping bags and went to sleep.

  Scruffy woke up in the middle of the night. He sat up and looked around. The darkness was perfect. He could see nothing. He could hear the rain hitting the roof of the cabin. He could hear the wind rushing by. He could hear the rumble of thunder.

  He could hear the splashing of footsteps on the wet ground near the cabin. Someone --or something-- was walking toward the cabin in the middle of the night during a thunderstorm. Whoever --or whatever-- it was walked in complete darkness without a lantern of any kind. A flash of lightning provided a moment of illumination. During that moment, Scruffy saw a floppy looking person walking past the front of the cabin. Scruffy didn't move. He didn't make a sound. He listened as the footsteps receded.

  Eventually, Scruffy laid down and went back to sleep.

  The next morning was cloudy and windy. The thunderstorm, however, was long over. The light from the lighthouse was clearly visible on the horizon.

  The two neighbors packed their belongings and returned to their boats. They traveled for several miles along the shore of the lake until they found the mouth of the river that crossed Winkie country. They traveled upstream for several hours.

  At about noon, the two neighbors found a
town beside the river. All the buildings here were painted various shades of yellow. In this town, the two neighbors came across their first really interesting bit of luck. A large river ferry (of the variety that had a steam engine in it and a paddle wheel on the back) was casting off just as they arrived.

  Bright Eye said, "Let's hitch a ride." He pulled up alongside the ferry and --when no one was looking-- tied his canoe to the side of the ferry. Scruffy followed and did the same. The two neighbors climbed aboard the ferry and helped themselves to a pair of chairs on the deck. They did their best to blend in with the other passengers.

  Bright Eye said, "This is the best idea I've had in weeks. At this rate, we'll be across Winkie country in no time at all."

  Scruffy said, "This really is a good idea. I'm glad I thought of it."

  Bright Eye gave Scruffy a dirty look.

  Scruffy said, "Oh, relax. I was just messing with you. What could go wrong?"

  At that moment, a passenger near the front of the ferry went hurling off the side of the boat and awkwardly plunged into the river. A particularly burly member of the ferry's crew was making the rounds and asking to see boarding passes. The two neighbors guessed that the passenger who went overboard didn't have a boarding pass.

  Bright Eye said, "Let's save ourselves the indignity."

  Scruffy said, "Absolutely."

  The two neighbors climbed off the ferry and returned to their own boats where they hid until the burly crew member passed. Then, they climbed back on board and returned to their seats.

  As the afternoon passed, the two neighbors saw many things from the deck of that ferry. They saw a flock of lemmings fly overhead. Only in Oz do lemmings have wings. They saw a flock of sheep playing soccer with a cabbage instead of a ball. Even in Oz, such a sight is rare. They saw a road that was paved with blue bricks. This sight delighted them to no end. They saw towns. They saw farms. They saw an enormous pumpkin patch that was tended to by a man who had a wooden body and a pumpkin for a head. He waved as the ferry went by. The two neighbors waved back.

  They met a passenger who was curious about them.

  The curious passenger said, "Oh, hello. I didn't see the two of you come aboard at any of the towns that we passed."