The Unpredictable Way of Falling

  “You don’t fucking know me, man,” I snap. “And don’t pretend like you do.”

  “Yeah, but I know that you and this gorgeous one right here,” he throws a grin in Ens direction, “We’re just plotting to take down my boss along with the Fareland mafia. And people who care about shit like that don’t shoot innocent people.”

  “You think you’re innocent?” My icy laugh reverberates through the air. “You work for the fucking devil.”

  The asshole fucking smirks and taps the end of his gun against his lips like a fucking psychopath. “Do I?”

  Suddenly, Ens shoves me so hard I stumble to the side. Then she storms around me and gets way too close to Holden. “Yes, you do, so wipe that stupid smirk off your face, you fucking asshole.”

  I regain my balance and move to her side. Holy shit, I’ve never seen Ens so angry.

  Not wanting her to get hurt, I snag ahold of her elbow and draw her behind me, but she digs her heels into the ground.

  “What’re we going to do?” Ens hisses. “He’ll tell my dad.”

  “I don’t know.” I keep the gun aimed at Holden, knowing he could’ve very well shot me when I stumbled. Yet, he hasn’t and I have to wonder why. I mean, my father is enemies with his boss and I was just plotting to take down his boss. Shouldn’t I have been shot already?

  “Will I tell your dad, though?” Holden smirks, playing a damn mind game with us.

  “What? You’re saying you’re not going to?” I question with doubt.

  “Maybe before you start making assumptions about me, you should ask me why I’m even working for Gregor,” he challenges, no longer grinning.

  I shake my head. More than likely he’s just trying to mind fuck with us. But seeing no other option, I decide to play along.

  “Fine. Why are you working with Gregor?”

  His gaze bounces back and forth between Ens and I. “I’m not sure if I can trust you two.”

  Ens lets out a frustrated growl. “God, can we please just tie him up to the bed already?”

  “I never knew you were into kinky shit, Ens.” Holden grins. “And I’d totally take you up on that offer except my best friend’s in love with you so that kind of makes you off limits.”

  “Carter’s not in love with me,” she argues, scowling at him. “And I don’t want to tie you to the bed to… be kinky. I want to tie you to the bed so we can torture you until you confess all your secrets.”

  “Torture me, huh?” Amusement rings in his tone. “And what forms of torture would you use?”

  “Well, first, I’d cut off all your fingers. Then I’d smash your toes with a hammer. Then I’d pull out all your teeth,” she says in a dark tone. “And then I’d let El take over, and we both know the part of you she’d go for first. She’s kind of sick and twisted like that.”

  Holden and I both wince.

  “What the fuck?” I whisper, gaping at her.

  “What?” she shrugs innocently. “I got all of it from a movie, but it seems like it’d work.”

  “I think you might be the sick and twisted one,” Holden says. “But I wouldn’t doubt for a second that El is either.”

  “Good.” Ens grins. “Then you realize the severity of the situation you’re in.”

  “I’ve got a gun pointed at you too,” Holden points out, raising his gun. “And unlike Gaige, I have the balls to pull the trigger. In fact, I’ve done it before.”

  I can’t tell if he’s bluffing, but I know one thing… “He won’t shoot you, Ens. Not if he really works for Gregor.”

  “But I thought we already established that I might not be really working for Gregor.” He targets the gun at Ens.

  Tension ripples through her, her breath catching in her throat.

  I prepare to shoot him. I may not want to be a killer, but I’d rather have blood on my hands then have another friend get taken away from me.

  My finger hovers over the trigger as I get ready to fire—

  “Will you relax? I’m not going to shoot her.” Holden lowers his gun. “I just needed to know that you were trustworthy.”

  “And me almost shooting you proved that?” I keep my gun aimed at him, but move my finger away from the trigger.

  “You were willing to shoot Gregor’s right-hand man to protect Ensley and the plan,” he emphasizes. “And I’ve read enough about you to know you’re not a killing sort of guy, despite who your father is.”

  “Wait… Read about me…” What the hell is he talking about?

  “In one of the files.” He appears way too amused. “I was given before I started working as an undercover agent.”

  Ens and I exchange a look of pure and utter shock.

  “So, you’re saying you work for the cops?” I ask. “Because, I got to say, that doesn’t make me feel a whole lot better.”

  “Not for the Fareland police,” he stresses. “For a private agency that specializes in taking down men like Gregor and Winston who have a lot of power over the law enforcement.”

  “What’s the name of the agency?” I ask, unsure if I believe him or not.

  “I’m not sure I can trust you with that information just yet.” He tucks his gun into his shoulder holster but I make no move to put mine away. “But what I can tell you is that I’ve worked for this place for a couple of years now and they’re completely trustworthy, unlike the cops in Fareland.”

  “So cops work at the agency?” I try to get more details from him.

  “All the agents are trained agents.” That stupid smirk rises on his face again. “Even me.”

  “So, what you’re trying to tell me is that you’ve been an undercover agent since you were sixteen years old?” I question with cynicism.

  He shrugs. “Most don’t start as young but since my uncle’s in the agency, he got me in early.”

  “Your uncle’s in the agency?” Ens stares at him in astonishment.

  “Most of my family is, except for my father,” he says tightly. “He took another path in life.”

  Yeah, while Holden’s father might not be in the mafia, he’s not a good man. He’s controlling, abusive, and he cheats on Holden’s mom all the time. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

  “Why did you want to join the agency, though?” I wonder. “What made you decide to risk your life?”

  A coldness glazes his tone. “Gregor took something from me a couple years ago. Something very important.”

  “What was it?” Ens and I ask simultaneously.

  He balls his hands into fists. “It doesn’t really matter.” He takes a breath to collect himself and then reclines against the trunk, looking as casual as can fucking be. “So you guys think you can take down Gregor and Winston all by yourselves?” And he’s back to being a smirking asshole again.

  “We want to try,” Ens says before I can stop her. Always so trusting. Too trusting. I worry about her getting involved in this. “But we definitely are going to need some help.”

  “Well, I don’t know where you can get some help,” Holden says and her expression sinks. “But I know the agency would love your help in taking them down.”

  She perks up again. “Really?”

  He nods. “You’re Gregor’s daughter. You can probably get further into his world than I ever could. I’ve been working for Gregor for over six months and I still don’t know where he’s keeping those girls, or how he smuggles his drugs in, or how he’s even stealing the girls.” A haunted look passes over his face and I think it’s then that I start to believe him.

  “So if I did this—went to the agency and helped them—I’d be working undercover to do what?” Ens asks, hugging her arms around herself.

  “To find out all his secrets,” Holden replies. “And get enough evidence to take him down and free those women. Because if we don’t find them soon, they’ll probably never be found—Gregor will never talk.”

  “That’s exactly what I want,” Ens says, letting her arms fall to her side.

  “You can think about it if
you want to,” Holden tells her. “It’s a pretty big decision—putting your life on the line like that.”

  Ens shakes her head. “I don’t need to think about it.”

  Of course she doesn’t. This is Ens. She has a good soul, not a tainted one like mine. Which is why, when the two of them look at me, waiting for me to say something, I take a moment to really think about what I’m doing. About the danger. About how my father would react if he ever finds out.

  But then I think about Willa.

  I can’t believe I’m doing this.

  It’s about time.

  “I want in.” I leave it at that, not ready to explain my reason. Explain what happened to her.

  Now that I’ve made the commitment—made the right choice—I need to send my father a text and tell him why I haven’t told him Ens’s location yet. Tell him that Ens and El ditched me and I have no clue where they are. Hopefully, he’ll accept that answer and not question if I’m being truthful. Knowing him, though, he might not believe me.

  “Good.” Holden scans the area and then glances at his watch. “We need to go then.”

  I tuck my gun into the waistband of my jeans. “Go where?”

  “To headquarters.” He crosses his arms. “Gregor’s out of the country and he won’t get back for a couple of weeks, which gives us about a week to get this done, which isn’t even close to being enough time. But it’ll have to work.”

  “Get what done?” Ens asks quietly from my side.

  “Training to defend yourself, to learn how to run the equipment, like bugs and hacking computer software,” he explains. “You’ll also need to do some weapon training.”

  “I already know how to do both of those,” I admit. “I’m actually pretty good with computers.”

  “Show off,” Ens teases, but her tone conveys a nervous edge.

  I start to smile, but don’t quite make it there. “But I don’t really understand what I’ll be doing. I mean, Gregor knows who I am.”

  “You’re not going to be working for Gregor,” he says, straightening his stance.

  “Then who am I going to be working for?”

  “The same person you’ve been working for your entire life.”

  My mood plummets. “My father.”

  Holden nods. “He’s connected to the sex trafficking—I know he is—but I need a man inside to figure out how he does it. And to get proof.” He pats my shoulder. “And besides, this will be your opportunity to get revenge.”

  My heart thrashes. Does he know about Willa? “How do you know I want revenge?”

  He shrugs. “It’s just a guess, but I think I’m right.”

  He’s wrong, though. I’m not doing this to get revenge for myself. Well, not completely.

  I’m here to get revenge for her.

  And maybe, just maybe, find Willa.

  Eleven

  Ensley

  To say I was surprised by Holden’s confession is a huge understatement. I was shocked. And baffled.

  At first, I didn’t believe him. But the more he talked, the more I realized he was telling the truth.

  Still, I have a difficult time wrapping my head around the fact that Holden—Holden—is working undercover for some agency that helps take down the bad guys.

  While we wait for El and Carter to come out of the motel room, Holden makes a few calls to the agency. He remains in listening distance—I think to prove that he is in fact telling the truth. Eventually, he puts Gaige on the phone, and any of my doubt that Holden is lying evaporates.

  “So, does Carter know anything about this?” I ask Holden as I plant my butt on the hood of El’s car

  He sits down beside me. “No. Only the agency knows about the agency. Now that you’re going to be part of it, you can’t talk to anyone outside of the agency about the things you do, see, and hear. That means don’t tell your mom. Besides, you don’t want to bring her into this and put her life in danger.”

  “I won’t tell her.” But I still need to call her and tell her I’m okay. When Gaige gets done, I’ll borrow one of the burner phones. I’m just not sure exactly what to tell her. “Is it hard to live a secret life?”

  He props his feet up on the bumper. “Sometimes it is, but then I remind myself of why I’m doing this and it makes all the lying and pretending easier. And it helps to talk to other agents who are going through something similar.”

  “That doesn’t sound too terrible.” I rest my hands on my knees. “But I’m not very good at lying and pretending.”

  “I’m not so sure about that.” He gives me a sly grin. “I mean, think about all those years you pretended not to like Carter.”

  I go all bug-eyed. “How the hell did you know about that?”

  He taps his temple. “I’m a people watcher.”

  “Oh.” I feel like a moron about how transparent I was.

  “You don’t need to be embarrassed.” He nudges my shoulder. “Carter’s liked you for a while too.”

  I relax at his valid point. “That’s what he told me.”

  “Well, he was telling the truth.”

  I didn’t doubt that he was, but it’s nice to hear Carter’s best friend confirm it.

  “What role is Carter going to play in this?”

  “The same part he’s been playing. Gregor trusts him for some reason and I want to use that trust against Gregor. But we just have to get Carter to agree first.”

  “I’m sure he will.”

  “If he doesn’t, though, we’ll have a problem.”

  “You won’t hurt him,” I say. When he doesn’t utter a word, I add, “He’s your best friend.”

  “I know, which is why I doubt he’ll make the wrong decision. But if he does…” He trails off as the door to the motel room swings open and El and Carter step out.

  I want to make Holden finish his sentence but he’s already hopping off the hood and moving away from me. I glare at his back, vowing that I won’t let him hurt El or Carter no matter what happens. Then I turn my attention back to Carter and El.

  I can’t see their faces, but knowing El, she’s probably upset after learning that Winston is her father.

  Jumping to my feet, I rush over and hug her.

  “I can’t believe this is happening.” Her voice is scratchy, as if she’s been crying.

  “I know, but it’s going to be okay.” I pat her back. “And you’re not in this alone. I’m here for you. And so’s Carter.”

  “I know, but I’m not going to sit here and wallow in my own pity.” She moves back and dabs her eyes with her fingertips. “I want to do what Carter and you were talking about. I want to make those assholes pay for what they did to Carter, for what they did to everyone.”

  “So Carter told you about the plan?” I ask glancing between Carter and her.

  She nods. “Yeah, he did and I’m completely on board.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask, unsure if I want her to get involved. Not after everything that Holden just told me.

  “Um, yeah.” She gapes at me like I’m insane. “You know I’m not one for standing by and doing nothing.”

  “Yeah, you’re definitely not.” I remember all those times she stood up for me, the first being with Carter. Still, I feel that it’s my duty as her best friend to talk her out of this.

  But before I can get the words out, Carter steps up and scoops me up, startling the shit out of me. He hugs me tightly and urges my legs around his waist before burying his face into my neck.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, tracing a path up and down his neck.

  “Yeah.” His warm breath tickles my neck as he breathes in and out. “It felt nice to get everything off my chest. But I feel a little overwhelmed.”

  Oh. I wrap my arms around him. “Want a distraction?”

  “Fuck yeah, I do.” He slants back and then seals his lips to mine.

  That’s not really what I meant by a distraction, but okay…

  I relax and let his tongue delve between my lips. He groans as he
kisses me slowly, as if savoring every moment our tongues touch.

  I kiss him back with passion, but then pull back slightly. “Carter, as much as I’d love to kiss you right now, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  His eyelids open and worry floods his eyes. “Is it bad?”

  “No, it’s good. At least, I think it is.”

  More than likely Holden wants to talk to him first and see if he’s trustworthy, but I’d rather try to convince Carter first. That way, Holden won’t have a reason to do whatever it is he’s planning on doing to Carter if he doesn’t make the right decision.

  So, summoning a deep breath, I give him a quick recap of what happened while him and El were talking in the motel room. By the time I’m finished, he’s sat down in one of the patio chairs with me on his lap and shock has taken over his face.

  “Are you being fucking serious right now?” He holds onto me tightly. “Wait, are you sure he wasn’t lying?”

  “He wasn’t. He even called the agency right in front of us and Gaige talked to them. Besides, I could tell he was telling the truth and that he was doing it for a good reason. I think he might have a personal vendetta against Gregor too, but he wouldn’t elaborate on why.”

  Carter considers this for a lengthy amount of time. “I wish I knew for sure. I mean, he’s my best friend so I should know for sure, but honestly, I think we both lied to each other a lot.”

  “Well, now you don’t have to.” I loop my arms around the back of his neck. “Now you guys can really get to know each other like all BFFFBs do.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think it’s going to quite work like that.” He sweeps my hair off my shoulder and kisses the crook of my neck. “But it’s cute that you think so.”

  I shiver, the good kind of shiver that flows up through my toes all the way to my heart. “You won’t know until you try then…” I trail off as he sucks on my neck and softly bites my skin. “Carter.” I moan. “If you don’t cut that out, I’m going to look like I was attacked by a vampire.”

  “So?” He chuckles and bites at my skin again, causing my legs to constrict around his waist.