Zachary Pill, Of Monsters and Magic
knew he should have recognized her. There was something about her mouth and her hair—it was Nurse Nightshade with three eyes! She also seemed much larger against the U-Ghoul’s smoky backdrop than he remembered her. Had Doctor Gefarg done something hideous to her?
“You look surprised,” Nurse Nightshade said. “Since you’re using the U-Ghoul system, I assume you’ve learned more about your magical roots. But your expression suggests you didn’t know our clinic is under a camouflage spell. Though most of us are not human, we have to look as if we are to avoid problems with the locals. What you’re seeing now is my true nature.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know,” Zachary said.
She smiled and, three eyes or not, seemed as friendly as before. “I assume you’d like an appointment to remove your cast?” Zachary shook his head. Nurse Nightshade’s upper eye winked or blinked at him.
“I…uh…I was hoping to talk with Doctor Gefarg about something else.”
Nurse Nightshade’s expression grew serious.
“Probably not a good idea,” she whispered, leaning forward. “I suggest you talk with your father first.”
“My dad’s missing!” Zachary blurted.
“I knew something wasn’t right during your last visit,” she said. All three of her eyes were squinted in anger. “I take it Ker Sevikrage found you?”
Zachary nodded. “Bats attacked the night we got back from the clinic. My dad went after Krage. I’m stuck living with—”
“Shhh!” Nurse Nightshade said. “Don’t announce your location. It’s bad enough Doctor Gefarg can probably figure it out by reviewing this impression.”
“I have a big problem,” Zachary said. “I didn’t know who else to ask but Doctor Gefarg.”
“I’m not a doctor,” Nurse Nightshade said, “but we nurses run most everything around here anyway. Maybe I can help?”
Zachary nodded and went through a brief description of getting bit by the dragon picture, having Madame Kloochie slip a magical disc into his pocket and the scales that had grown across his shoulders. He didn’t bother to mention the horrifying dragon dream that still seemed frighteningly real to him. Zachary gasped as two right hands came up to Nurse Nightshade’s face. One pinched her lip while the other scratched her head. She had more than two arms!
Nurse Nightshade either didn’t notice his reaction or chose to ignore it. Either way, she said, “I think you need to summon Larzell. Even if Doctor Gefarg could help you—and I’m not sure he could—I believe the gnome would be the best person to talk to about this.”
“The gnome?” Zachary asked.
Nurse Nightshade smiled.
“Medusa will know. Just ask for the Guardian of Earth."
Zachary might have said more, but Nurse Nightshade kindly cut him off.
“The less we say during this communication, the better,” she said. “But feel free to summon me at my home portal nights or weekends.” Two of her three eyes winked. “I have the Privacy Package, so old blue skin won’t get involved. Good luck Zachary.”
Suddenly, Medusa’s face appeared again.
“I can summons Larzell Begstone Brekklestone, Guardian of Earth if you like,” Medusa said.
Zachary paused, a little spooked that she’d been listening in, then nodded.
“R-Red alert!” Bret whispered. Zachary looked over to see his friend urgently gesturing toward the front door of the store.
“Sorry, got to go!” Zachary tapped the casket and suddenly fell to the floor. He waited a second for the smoke and severed hands to be sucked inside then picked himself and the U-Ghoul casket off the floor. The latter he tried to stuff into his pocket but it was much too big.
“It’s S-S-Stemson!” Bret said.
Realizing Bret wouldn’t want to face his lifelong bully, Zachary said, “You wait here. I’ll get rid of him.”
Kevin Stemson was already inside and leaning over the front counter when Zachary got to the front of the store. “Hey, Ack. What’s cooking in junk land?”
“I told you, I don’t want you in here.”
“That’s no way to treat your new buddy, Ack.” Kevin reached out and flicked Zachary’s nose, then laughed.
“Tell you what,” Zachary said to the slightly taller boy. A sudden cluster of Bret’s memories of getting viciously bullied didn’t help matters any. He paused and tried to get his anger under control.
“Yeah, what?” Kevin said.
“You get out and I won’t punch you in the face with my cast.”
Zachary was more surprised by his lack of fear than the words that burst out of his mouth. In the few fights he’d ever gotten into, he’d always been nervous enough to want to puke. But not this time. He didn’t feel a single tremble.
Kevin snickered but backed away from the counter.
“I’m not afraid of you, Ack.”
“You should be,” Zachary said, further surprising himself. There was something recognizable about the fury building inside him, but he couldn’t quite place it. He moved out from around the counter and toward the bigger boy.
Kevin gave another scoffing laugh, but it ended abruptly.
“Very funny, Zach.”
Zach not Ack?
“We’re going to have a lot of fun in school this year,” Kevin added. “Those little kids will pee their pants when they see us coming.”
Zachary grabbed Kevin’s white polo shirt and crinkled it in his good fist. He held his casted arm out like a club, and Kevin’s face melted into fear. Zachary thought the taller boy might start crying. How many times had Kevin done this very thing to Bret? Zachary tried not to review those memories for fear of what he might do. There was something exciting about the anger that coursed through his veins.
“I want you to turn around and get out,” Zachary snarled. “I don’t want you to talk or even breathe. Just—Get—OUT!”
Given the terrified expression on Kevin’s face, Zachary wasn’t surprised when the taller boy did exactly as asked. Of course, once he got outside he turned back and yelled, “You’ll be sorry, Ack. You messed with the wrong guy this time.”
Zachary slammed the door closed and leaned against it. He had finally remembered when he’d felt that same kind of frenzied rage, felt that same kind of power. It had been in his dragon dream, just before he ate that poor creature.
He felt like vomiting.
“You were amazing!” Bret said.
“No I wasn’t,” Zachary responded. “I acted like every other bully in the world. I was acting like this thing.” He pounded angrily on one of his hard shoulders.
Kevin had no more than crossed the street when a rusty blue pickup truck pulled up in front of the store. A young brunette woman came around to the passenger side and offloaded first one then a second toddler, who both followed her into the store like colorful little penguins.
“Do you have any bureaus?” the woman asked.
Zachary pointed to a small grouping of mostly intact ones that were cluttering the right side of the store. She hurried that way, but failed to take her children, who might have been twins. Like newborn puppies, they stood on wobbly legs and looked up at Zachary. One was dressed in tiny pink overalls with dark stains on the knees. The other wore a checkered red dress with a large safety pin holding one torn sleeve. The same girl wore two socks of different colors.
“Monster,” the one in pink overalls said, pointing at Zachary.
The other one nodded and burped up a white milky substance onto the front of her dress. Zachary would have tried to clean her off, but Madame Kloochie kept no paper towels in the store, and he had hopelessly dirtied all of his dust rags. Besides, after the dragon bite he wasn’t sure he could be trusted near children. He could still hear the screams of the poor creature he’d eaten in his dream.
He backed a couple of steps from the children.
The woman returned to the front counter, pulled a napkin from her bag and wiped the mess from her baby’s dress. Then she picked the little girl up while the other toddler
hid behind her legs and said, “Monster,” again.
“No, he’s not a monster, Betsy,” the mother said to the toddler. “He just has a cast on. He hurt his arm.”
“Booboo,” the little girl said.
“Yes, he has a booboo.” The mother reoriented on Zachary. “Could I get a deal if I took two of those bureaus?”
Zachary didn’t know if it was because she and her children really seemed to deserve a break or if it was more to prove he wasn’t a monster, but either way he said, “How’s free sound?”
She smiled brightly and insisted on paying, but Zachary waved away the few bills she pulled from her pocketbook. Besides, with Madame Kloochie’s magic cash register, it made no difference what she paid. It only took Bret and him a few minutes to load both bureaus into the bed of the rusty blue pickup, and fortunately they were able to lay them down because Zachary hadn’t seen any rope in the truck.
Bret went into a small sneezing fit when they returned to the store. Of course, he carried his own handkerchief for just such occasions. After he sneezed for the third time, he leaned against the front counter, where Zachary had just realized the young mother had surreptitiously left a twenty dollar bill near the edge of the antique cash register. Zachary punched the correct buttons, and when the drawer shot open he slipped the bills inside where they would soon disappear. Who knew, maybe the antique register required money to be added every once in a while. Either way, that was his job.
Bret sneezed again.
“I tried to clean a little,” Zachary apologized.
“I noticed,” Bret said. “It really does look